Kyle awoke early the next morning and had issues opening his left eye. Reaching gently with his fingers, he tried to pry to open, but it was too puffy and painful. Holding his left hand over to help shield it from the light, he pulled back the covers with his right and slowly eased out of bed. When had he climbed under the blankets last night? Last thing he remembered, he was trying to rest with an icepack on his eye and must’ve fallen asleep. Glancing around with his one good eye, there wasn’t any sign of Sera being around anymore. She’d probably left after her mom had gotten home last night. ‘Ooooohh,’ thought Kyle, ‘I’m going to get her good for this somehow!’ Still feeling grumpy, and with his left hand protecting his eye, he slowly went downstairs, careful to place one foot in front of another as he lurched down the steps.
“Come on in here, and let me take a look at it,” called his mother’s voice from the kitchen.
“In a minute. I gotta pee first!” Shambling into the bathroom, he relieved himself while squinting with one eye closed. It was harder to hit the bowl than he would’ve imagined, only looking out one eye! Shaking off and zipping up, Kyle washed his hands and shook them dry before finally going into the kitchen.
“So what’s the verdict doc? Am I gonna die?”
Kyle’s mother walked over, gripped his chin firmly in her grasp and nodded. “Yes, idiot son of mine, you’re going to die. Everyone dies. I just haven’t decided if you’re going to die today or not.” Letting go of his chin, she pointed over to the chair at the kitchen table. “Now, sit your ass down there and let me take a look at it without breaking my neck trying to stare up at you!”
“Fine!” Kyle wasn’t certain what she was angry with him about, but he went over and plopped down in the chair anyway.
His mother reached out, grabbed his chin again, and then tilted it up into the light where she could see better. “You’ve got one hell of a black eye,” she told him without a trace of pity. “Just what do you think you were doing, peeking on Seraphine in the shower?! I ought to black the other one for you!”
“Now hold on a moment,” Kyle rushed to defend himself! “I didn’t know it was Sera! I thought it might be a burglar or something. She hasn’t come over and let herself into the house for ages now!”
Tap, tap, tap went his mother’s bare foot on the kitchen tiles. “So let me get this straight. My son, thinks there’s an intruder in the house, using our shower.” Tap. Tap. Tap.
“Well…” Kyle hesitated a moment trying not to blush. “It does sound a little foolish when you say it like that.”
“And, furthermore, thinking it’s an intruder, my son sneaks upon this person to get a good look at them…”
“Well, I wanted to confirm it was something wrong…”
Thwap! His mother’s hand rung lightly across the top of his head. “You wanted to confirm there was an intruder, who might have a gun, or be high on drugs, rather than call the security company or 911,” she finished for him.
“Uhhh…” There really wasn’t any good thing Kyle could say at this point except, “Sorry.”
“Sorry my foot!” His mother thwapped him on top of the head lightly once again. “Either my son is a pervert and peaking on the next door neighbor when she borrows our shower, or else he’s an idiot who wants to get himself murdered so I’d find his cold, lifeless corpse in a puddle of blood and guts upstairs! Which is it!”
“Umm…. I’m a perverted idiot, I guess?” Kyle offered helpfully, just to get another smack on the top of his head.
“Well, I think you’ll live this time.” His mother finally declared as she forced open his left eye and stared into it, causing Kyle to grip tightly onto the seat of his chair with both hands and grit his teeth.
“Look left”, she commanded, and he did so. “Look right, and then up and down. Roll your eye from side to side for me.” Kyle followed her commands as best as he could and she made little hmm sounds as she watched. After a few moments, she let go of his eye and walked over to the sink and came back and held a washcloth against his cheek.
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“Tilt your head back as far as you can,” she ordered and obeyed. “This might sting a bit. Grit your teeth, hold that seat, and if you even think about cursing at me or hitting me, you’ll end up regretting it. Remember, I brought you into this world; I’ll take you out of it, if I need to.”
‘Oh great,” Kyle thought, as he steeled himself as much as possible, “she’s quoting Bill Cosby now.’
Mercilessly, his mother pried open his tender eyelid and poured something over and into it. Kyle stomped his foot and squirmed, but his mother kept a grip and kept pouring. “That burns!” He exclaimed in pain, just to be ignored. For several long moments, his mother poured whatever she had onto his eye before letting go.
Kyle immediately grabbed his eye and covered it with his hands. “What the hel… …lping hands was that?!” He’d almost made a mistake and said something he shouldn’t in front of his mother; but luckily she didn’t seem to notice, or if she did, she didn’t mention it this time.
“Just a saline wash to clean your eye out better,” she told him matter-of-factly. “Now, let me have a better look at that eye once again.” Gritting his teeth, Kyle had to sit through another inspection from his mother before she finally let go and nodded to herself.
“Looks to me like the soap scratched your eye somewhat, but it’ll be fine in a few days.” She was in her Nurse Emma voice now, and Kyle simply sat and nodded faithfully. “We’ll want to put something over it to help protect it, and you’ll want to rinse it every morning and night for a few more times – Don’t worry. I’ll help you with that. – and then you’ll be good to go. Just pretend you’re a pirate or something for the next week or ten days.”
“Ten days!” Kyle was flabbergasted. He had no idea that his eye was that bad off!
“Probably not that long,” his mother reassured him as she lightly patted him on top of the head. “But, it’s best to be safe and protect it for now. That soap upstairs has pumice in it, and it irritated and scratched your eye. Add that to the black eye that Seraphine gave you when she hit it with you, and you should keep it under wraps and let it heal for a bit.” Turning, she walked over to the counter and rummaged around for a few moments before coming back and cutting some gauze and folding it, before placing and taping it in place over Kyle’s left eye.
“Be a pirate. Have fun with it. Heck, go whimper and pout next door, and act like you’re dying,” his mother advised him. “Who knows? You might just get a sympathy kiss or something out of it!”
“And who the heck wants a kiss from Franklin?!” Kyle shivered in exaggeration and his mother laughed lightly.
“I would’ve thought you might try and get one from someone other than him,” his mother hinted, not so subtly.
“Umm…” Kyle blushed slightly. “I don’t think Franklin would like Fanny kissing on me either,” he tried to joke.
Laughing even more, his mother ran her fingers through his hair and then gently kissed two fingers and placed them on his forehead. “Get on out of here for now. I’ll fix you some chocolate gravy for breakfast before I go to bed, so you’ll feel better.”
“Chocolate gravy!” Kyle hopped up and hugged her while licking his lips. “I’m going to have to get Sera to smack me in the eyes more often with something!” Running out of the kitchen, he yelled back at her. “I’m going to go next door and get Sera. I know she’ll want some as well!”
Hearing the front door slam shut a few minutes later, his mother just laughed lightly and smiled. Kids will be kids – whether they’re ten, or a hundred and ten! Humming warmly to herself, she put all her medical supplies up and pulled out the flour, cocoa, milk, and sugar. Looks like she had a little cooking to do…
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Author's note: For those who don't know the glory that is chocolate gravy, try the magic for yourself: Chocolate Gravy!