“It this way,” Seran stated confidently, as he strode along the tunnels to a dead end. Tapping the walls a few times with his hammer, he shrugged lightly. “It that way,” he stated confidently, pointing back up the way they had come.
“So you don’t know where you found the beetles, doofus?” Heather sounded exasperated and shook her head in disgust.
“Me told you. Me went this way. Then that way. Then this-that way, and the beetles were that-this way,” Seran snorted in response. “We only go this way. How you expect find beetles unless you follow instructions? Now we go that way. Then this-that way, and then we find then that-this way!”
“What type of stupid man logic is that?” Heather screamed, throwing her hands up in the air. “Why can’t you just go back to where you were before you found us?”
“Because me smart. Me know to follow directions,” Seran replied with a smirk as he turned and walked back past her. Once again he tried to grab Heather’s rear, but this time she jumped out of the way and pressed her butt tight up against the safety of the wall.
“Hands off, jerkface. Or else,” she warned.
Stopping, Seran turned and raised an eyebrow slightly. “Or else what? Else you come visit me in dream world and squishy-squishy bounce-bounce me?” Staring directly at Heather, Seran held her gaze in his own, waiting for her answer.
“Umm...” Squirming a bit uncomfortably to have such a large manly presence hovering over her and staring so intently at her, Heather began to fidget and leaned back tight against the wall. “Well yeah. Yeah, I’ll do that! You touch me, and I’ll fondle you for hours in the other world!”
“Hmmm…” Rubbing his chin for a moment, Seran seemed to be thinking it over, and then he calmly let his hammer down, leaned up and wrapped a massive hand around each of Heather’s bare breasts, squeezing them lightly. “Deal.” Laughing lightly, he leaned up so close his breath was thick against Heather’s cheeks. “Me can live with that deal. After all,” kissing her lightly on the nose he whispered, “you already do that when you visit and think me sleep.”
Blushing and looking a little wide-eyed, Heather just stood rock still and trembled slightly as Seran felt and squeezed her several times before finally letting go, turning and picking up his hammer, and walking on down the hall back the way they’d came. Whistling lightly, he pointed ahead. “It that way now!”
“Are you okay?” Easing up, Kylie held out a hand for Heather, who simply brushed it away.
“Jerkface!” Snorting, she ignored Kylie and turned to follow in the direction Seran had just traveled.
“Just what the hell did I do,” Kylie mumbled softly to herself as she followed several steps behind, not wanting to draw any more attention – or ire – from Heather.
Working their way through the tunnels in a scattered line, with Seran leading the way, it took many wrong turns and almost half an hour of wandering before Seran finally decisively declared, “This the right that-this way! Beetles down here!”
“That’s what you said the last three times,” Heather murmured sarcastically.
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“I don’t know,” Kylie replied, shaking her head slightly. “He might actually be right this time. These tunnels look a little different than the others.”
“How so,” Heather asked. “They all look the same to me; cramped, dirty, and full of nasty webs that just won’t stay out of my hair.”
“Spider in tunnel, web in tunnel. Not take idiot to know that,” Seran stated as he trudged ever onward. “Me sure it this way now! Me not walk into dead end.”
“Well, that’s part of what I’d noticed,” Kylie laughed. “It seems like we’ve walked quite a bit further down this passage than the ones on either side before, but that’s not the biggest thing that makes me know we’re on a different path.” Smirking mysteriously, Kylie didn’t say anything else.
“Well, what is it?” Too impatient to wait for her to spit it out, Heather had to take the bait and ask.
“My toes tell me we’re going down now,” Kylie laughed. “I guess walking around on my tiptoes I’ve gotten used to walking on the flat surface, but for a while now the feeling has been different with each step. We’re walking down a subtle slope. I can feel the difference in my ankles with each step.
“By now, we’ve probably went low enough that we’re going under the other tunnels now,” Kylie grinned, proud of her own deductive powers of reasoning and observation.
“Me think you right,” Seran agreed. “Look!” Pointing ahead, he indicated a sudden turn in the tunnel. “Me think us go back under other tunnels now.”
“Then you mean all we had to do from the beginning was just blow a hole through the floor?” Heather looked steamed. “I could’ve blasted our way down from the start and saved us a lot of useless wandering around.”
“Not useless,” Kylie reminded her. “We’ve gained a lot of valuable loot, improved our skills, and went up a few levels.”
“Go through floor stupid,” Seran snorted. “What if core not here but still up top where we not go yet? Then we have to fight way back to rest room. Not have safe room for Fireboob to rest.”
“My name’s not Fireboob,” Heather stated icily. “I’m going to turn your pecker into a candle yet, if you don’t watch yourself,” she warned, glaring daggers at Seran’s back.
Stopping for a moment, Seran turned to ask, “Fireboob want Firedong? That odd. Unusual. Kinky. Maybe we try that later. But now…”
“Now we find and kill beetles,” Seran laughed, turning back around and walking around the corner. Heather stood and trembled, flicks of fire licking around the corners of her hands.
“Calm down,” Kylie advised. “Save that magic for the next fight. You killed him earlier remember, and that didn’t help any, now did it?
“It helped me feel better,” Heather muttered.
“RAAAAAAHHHHRRRR!! SMAAASH!!” Seran’s loud battle cry echoed around the corner, cutting her off if she was going to say anything else.
Taking a moment to stare at each other and shake their heads in disbelief, Heather and Kylie both took off running around the corner to see what type of trouble Seran had managed to get himself into this time.