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THE COFFEE HAS YOUR SMELL
CHAPTER 5: DREAMING TO SEE HER AGAIN

CHAPTER 5: DREAMING TO SEE HER AGAIN

In the following days after he’d seen her in the park, Alexander had been pretty busy and didn’t have too much time to think about her. Even so, he caught himself sighing, from time to time, when a strange but still pleasant pain sneaked into his soul, following him everywhere. „The longing for her,” he kept telling himself after this when he had time to breathe or think about it. Then, when other meetings started because Erin asked him to help her with an important project, he was sinking into work again, forgetting about everything else: about the world, his melancholy, longing, and even about her - the one he would have liked to have close even in such busy moments.

He wanted her with him because his subconscious worked all the time, even when Alex was totally focused on his work. His subconscious worked even when the romantic from inside him was reading a book, fully enjoying it. Yet, although that subconscious did his job pretty well, his consciousness was still stronger, keeping Alex afloat and not letting him fall into the arms of melancholy and love forever, which he missed so much.

That day, finishing his tasks at the office earlier than usual, Alexander told himself that it was time for a walk because the weather was warm and beautiful for the middle of November. That weather was beautiful but more beautiful was the view around, with those red and reddish scarfs seen on the branches of the trees, with the gray of their trunks, and even with those stripped crowns of the trees. Here and there, under those trees, among colorful leaves that had fallen all over on the ground, was still seen the fresh green despite the late autumn because Life and the Green of Time hoped to turn back time at least this way and make beat again, even if for a short time only, the heart of the summer.

The heart of the summer was still beating… in slow rhythms, somehow weird, so as only a heart in the chest of an in-love man could beat. That heart was beating in the chest of a romantic, that romantic being that was in love not only with the woman but also with the beauty of nature. That’s why, because he simply loved life seen around and nature with its beautiful clothing, Alex stopped for a short time, closed his eyes, and, with his hands in the pockets of the gray coat that he wore on his shoulders, he looked at the November sun, fully enjoying its warm caresses.

And that sun, playful and romantic like him, was gently moving his fingers on the beautiful face of the man, comforting him and giving him a little bit of hope. Then, other fingers, of the playful wind of November this time, a wind that was now cold then warm, slowly ran through his hair, making him dream and smile because Alexander Doyle had always felt like a child in the arms of time and weather. He had also felt like a child in the arms of love because only a love like the one he felt at that moment could lure other feelings around it: the love of the pleasant weather of November, the love of the sun that seemed to warm only him despite the gloomy weather from his soul, weather that was undoubtedly influenced by longing, and the love of the playful wind too. Wind that had nothing to do with longing or love but with childhood - the one the man always wears inside because only a child can love the weather and its breathing or rhythm.

Honestly, Alexander also loved the rhythm of time. He loved the rhythm of the mad world that passed by him, somehow squinting at him while wondering, „What’s the problem with this freak that stopped in the middle of the street just to allow the sun to admire him?” And that world, as strange as the man stopped in the middle of the sidewalk that was by the park, looked at the sun for a short while too, amazed to see it cheerfully smiling at them from above. Thus, those people forgot about their opinion about that person in love with the world and with romance, focusing only on the beauty of nature.

Honestly, Alexander didn’t care about the judgment of the world because it hadn’t ever mattered to him. What was important to him was his own faith, ideals, and what he felt, not the world. Because of this, his friends started to call him a freak. They did that because they couldn’t understand why Alexander Doyle wasn’t afraid of the judgment of the world and why he preferred to live as he liked because „You see, people have a mission in this world: to lead your footsteps toward a decent life!” many of those who were close to Alex used to tell him. An advice Alex always listened to, but he never followed. He only smiled when he heard his friends giving him that piece of good advice, whispering inside him, „Yet, people have nothing to do with me, just as I have no deal with this world. What’s important for me is my soul and happiness, not the happiness of the entire world.”

Alex was right in thinking something like that because this world had nothing to do with him or his way of thinking. This world also had no deal with how he lived his life, if he was lonely or with a beautiful woman in his arms, if he loved or if he was loved by someone, if he was surrounded by friends or always lonely. At the same time, he was sure that nobody should have cared about his family or if they supported him or, understanding that they weren’t able to make Doyle understand how it was better to live, simply left him alone to live his life at will. More than this, Alex didn’t have a problem with the world because he was eventually a stranger in its arms, just as people around him were strangers to him, even if many of them considered Alex their friend. Yet, many of those who considered the man their friend did that because they hoped to have some benefit one day while being next to that lonely weirdo, who was wealthy and influential at the same time.

Also because the Doyles were considered one of the wealthiest families in town and country, Alex had always been surrounded by beautiful women. Some of them, those who were shy, only used to smile at him when they saw him in the street or in some place because that’s the main feature of shy women: they only smile at you and wait for you to take a step toward them and make them fall for you. Yet, this hadn’t ever happened because they couldn’t make Alex fall for them: neither because of their smile nor because of their glance. Others, bolder than the rest of the women in that town, even got to steal a kiss from him or ask him for more. However, not being a fan of one-night relationships, Alex had always refused them with a large smile on his face, moving away from them. Then, left alone, he hid among the pages of the books again. It’s better to say that he hid in that beautiful world of rare love, one that it’s so difficult to find nowadays. A world where the man falls in love with a woman only watching her from far away, where she - cold and proud like an ancient Goddess - ignores him and pretends not to see him, just to give that man the chance to awaken the hunter inside him. And, thinking that she was prey to catch, to take the first step toward her or try to seduce her.

Because of those books and the love described among their scentful pages, Alexander Doyle had refused the love of many women in Westport. He refused them even if they were beautiful, educated, or wise. He would have refused them even if someone had told him that the world would vanish if he didn’t choose his pair from those local women. He would have done this anyway… despite their education and beauty, because none of them ever managed to get to the gate of his soul, and, slowly knocking with their thin heels of those black stiletto shoes on the asphalt from in front of that door, to let him know that elegance got there and it was eager to be left inside of the kingdom of his soul.

„Her elegance,” the man whispered, sighing after this and opening his eyes. Looking in front, he saw a lot of people rushing somewhere. He saw the children playing with the autumn leaves, happily smiling. There, on one of the upper branches of one birch, he saw a red squirrel with a peanut squeezed between her front paws and carefully looking at him, as though she had been afraid that that freak, who also seemed to be in love, would approach her eventually just to steal her treasure. Then, when she finally understood that Alex wasn’t interested in her peanut but in the beauty seen around him, the squirrel only showed him her thick red tail, and, rushing through the branches, she got to her hollow and hid inside. She did that as though imitating Alex in his moments of melancholy when he was hiding in his world, reading a book, and thinking about Her.

***

It was already dusk when Alexander finally entered the coffee shop. He returned there after many hours of walking through the park, tightly held by melancholy in its arms, something that reminded him about his longing for Her. Yet, he got rid of that longing very soon when he saw Her in the same place as he had seen her the first time: sitting on that big armchair in front of the fireplace and reading a book.

Seeing her there, the man involuntarily smiled. He felt so well after he had seen her chestnut curls that filled the coffee shop with a certain aroma of romance. At the same time, he felt the hot tongues of the fire warming him inside, a warmth that was felt from the fireplace, which was so beautifully illuminating her face, and those black-like berries eyes that were focused on the book she was reading and not on those that were with her in the coffee shop. If she had looked around, at him in particular, she would have made him the happiest man in the world. Yet, even if she didn’t do that, he was happy with only having her there, so close to his soul and his arms, which he often imagined wrapped around her body, spoiled like a child in the arms of longing and romance.

The man was definitely happy that night because he finally could calm his soul and chase the longing away, that longing that had always been with him in the last few days and hadn’t left Alex alone, not even for a second. Alex also felt jealousy vanishing somewhere, jealousy he felt so intense after that night when he’d seen her accompanied by that „Worthy Rival” and understood that she wasn’t his but someone else’s. Even so, Alex didn’t lose hope of having her close to him again or seeing her even if it was from far away when his heart longed too much after her. He also hoped to feel her perfume again when his soul was singing in the rhythm of piano or guitar music, and smiling at him, at least from time to time. Alex would have been happy with only seeing her smiling, although she wouldn’t have smiled at him but because of the melancholy she also seemed to feel each time she read a good book. This allowed him to be happy because the hopeless romantic was often like this: he loved to admire his muse from far away, to smile seeing her, even if she hadn’t ever suspected that his smile was because of her or that such a romantic person would love her forever, even if he’d do that silently.

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Alex intended to love her for an entire life because he was that kind of man who, if he fell in love with someone, was like the swans, those who are always in love with only one partner. At the same time, she was a black swan in his eyes, a rare specimen of swan of a rare elegance too, someone he hadn’t ever met before - that elegance he longed for an entire life but which he found in a stranger eventually. „In this beautiful Helen of Troy,” a Helen that made his heart sing and feel the longing so deeply, so as only a beautiful Helen could do - make Paris fall in love with her after he’d seen her on the street. And, despite the fact she was someone else’s woman, to want her by his side even if he had to give up on his life and wealth eventually.

In that story, Alexander was advantaged because he wasn’t a prince and neither the safety of an entire country depended on him if he had fallen in love with someone else’s woman. At the same time, he didn’t intend to kidnap that beautiful Lady of Mysteries from that „Worthy Rival” because he considered that a real man never does something like that: he never steals someone else’s happiness only to make sure he builds his own happiness. Not that Alex wouldn’t have wanted that. He really wanted this, but his heart didn’t allow him to do that, a heart in love with life, ideals, passion, and sadness, a heart that preferred to endure loneliness than to know that another man suffered for an entire life because of him.

Eventually, Alex winced when he saw his assistant, Robert, approaching the counter and bringing a tray full of clean cups. Seeing him there, Alex approached the young man and gave him his briefcase and coat to take them into the small office he had somewhere in the back of the coffee shop. Then, he poured himself a cup of coffee and looked for a while at that beautiful Helen of Troy, admiring her elegance even when she was reading a book because… „Oh, she’s so beautiful, even when she’s immersed in reading and totally out of reality.”

„And she’s been there for about two hours already,” he heard his assistant saying. Words that made Alex wince and stare at Robert in amazement. The young man instead, seeing his boss staring at him and feeling clumsy, as though he had caught him doing something forbidden, smiled. „I’m talking about that beautiful owner of a pair of black eyes that reads in front of the fireplace while she’s read by a pair of blue eyes.”

Alex smiled too. „Are you a poet now after so many days taking care of books?”

„I just… notice the romance,” replied Robert calmly. Then, after he finished arranging the clean cups on their support, he looked at Alex and said, „Something at all difficult to notice, by the way. Not when it’s clearly seen in your eyes. Just as it’s not difficult to understand why you have been sighing so much lately while looking in the distance through that big window.”

„I did that because of melancholy,” stuttered Alex, clumsier than before and feeling stripped of secrets in front of his younger assistant.

„I haven’t ever doubted that, honestly. Why? Because… if I had liked her as you like her, I would have also stood in front of that window for an entire life… with a cup of hot coffee in my hand and looking at the distance, begging that distance to bring her to me again.” After that, pretending to have sighed because of love, Robert held the empty tray to his chest and headed toward the small pantry that was also somewhere in the back of the coffee shop where they kept the fresh coffee and other things. Robert headed toward that room after he realized that the coffee was about to be finished and he needed to bring more, allowing Alex to enjoy the sight and that beautiful lady who read in front of the fireplace.

Left alone… only He and Her in that coffee shop, although there were enough clients there that night… Alex allowed the feelings to take over him and looked for a long time at Her. He saw her reading, completely immersed in that story and at all interested in the world. Thus, watching her, Alex compared her with him because he also didn’t seem interested in others but only in books and beauty, just as she seemed to love all this at that moment. At the same time, both of them seemed to love that armchair in front of the fireplace because when there weren’t clients in the coffee shop and he could afford to relax, Alex poured a cup of coffee, took a book from one of the bookshelves, and sat on the same armchair. He had had this habit not since she appeared in his life but for a very long time because his soul was calm only there and he never felt lonely.

Such thoughts made him sigh again and reminded him about that place that seemed magic and meant to bring them close to each other. Then, realizing that maybe the coffee from the coffee table that was to her right was cold already, Alex poured fresh liquid into another cup and approached her, intending to change the cups without being noticed, giving her the chance to enjoy its aroma for longer. „Coffee that, starting today, has your smell,” Alex whispered in his mind. He whispered such words because, approaching her, he felt a pleasant scent of jasmine and chrysanthemums coming from her. A scent that deeply entered his soul, tormenting him at that moment and maybe for an entire life.

Still there and deeply breathing in her perfume, although he knew he shouldn’t have done that, Alex glanced at the book she was reading. Thus, he could read only a few lines while looking at the page of the book that was a little bit turned toward him. Even so, he could understand that he knew that novel. It was undoubtedly „Gone with the Wind” by Margaret Mitchell, a novel he loved so much because he had read it so many times before, especially when he was still a teenager. Thus, he got to dream of a similar love, even if he knew it wasn’t fair to do that because of the love felt by the characters of the novel because… Vivien Leigh and Clark Gable’s love was a sad one eventually, a love that made so many hearts bleed when the readers got to the end of the book, making their eyes shed tears too… just as Vivien’s eyes might have cried when she lost Clark.

Catching this new thought crossing his mind, Alex smiled. He did that, understanding that he was really weird. Why exactly? Because, instead of doing his job as the host of that place, he allowed that wind described in Mitchell’s novel to take him on its wings and take him far away from there to the castle of the longing where she was living. Yet, it wasn’t fair to do that because, eventually, she was there only like his client and not like the woman he loved. That’s why, because he considered himself a respectable host, Alex bent a little in front and changed the empty cup with the one he brought there for her.

„I didn’t order another coffee,” he heard her voice to his left. This made him wince and look at her in amazement because he didn’t expect her to notice him there. He thought she’d ignore him as she did the last time. Yet, he’d been wrong because that night her black eyes, the color of the savage berries, were fixed on him, looking at him also in amazement because of the pleasant feeling felt by her, as though she hadn’t ever expected such hospitality from the owner of that coffee shop.

„Yet, I wanted to do that,” Alex replied to what she said, something that surprised him too, considering her words a kind of hidden question. His vague answer made Helen of Troy look at him even more surprised than before because she didn’t understand for sure what he was trying to tell her. And yes, she found his answer weird. Alex also understood this eventually. That’s why he rushed to straighten his back and, looking into her eyes, he told her in a confident but soft voice, „Just… a courtesy… on the house!” Then, quickening his pace, he turned his back to her and went to hide behind the counter again.

Already behind the counter, although he felt ashamed because of his vague and misunderstood answer, Alex still dared to look at his beautiful Helen, curious to find out what she’d do. Thus, he saw her also watching him, although Alex thought she’d forget about him right after he’d moved away from her. Yet, his beautiful Helen was still watching him. He even saw the surprise in her beautiful black eyes because of the courtesy of that lonely romantic who was behind the counter and who looked like a teenager who had fallen in love for the first time.

Her eyes hadn’t been focused on him for a long time though. Only for a few moments. Yet, it had been enough for Alex to understand that she wasn’t a cold moon that Helen of Troy, who had stolen his heart. She was a kind lady, who beautifully smiled when she was satisfied by the attention received from a gentleman as pleasant as she was, and who was able to appreciate beauty and kindness. Then, sipping from the coffee that Alex brought her, she smiled. Alexander clearly saw her smile, although it lasted only for an instant. This made him so happy… happier than he hadn’t probably ever been.

***

She didn’t forget him, not even when she left… Yes, that night, Helen of Troy smiled at Alex when she left the coffee shop. She not only smiled at him but, approaching the counter and leaving the empty cup on it, the beautiful owner of those black eyes looked into his blue eyes and kindly told him, „Thank you, Alex! It’s been a pleasure for me to be here tonight! It’s been a real pleasure, by the way!” Then, without waiting for an answer from that shy man who was just staying in front of her, she smiled and, turning her back to him, she quickened her pace toward the exit door.

Seeing her leaving, Alex smiled too. He felt so well at that moment because… she had talked to him for the first time. She thanked him for the coffee and courtesy… something trivial in his opinion but still an important gesture, as it seemed to her. Or… „Had she simply been polite to me?” Who knows?! There wasn’t nobody to answer his question. He also didn’t have time to do that because he was too busy to watch her leaving and how her footsteps were slowly but surely touching the autumn asphalt while moving away from him… more and more… As a beautiful woman generally does - she leaves when she’s sure that she caught the sight of gentlemen and that they won’t ever forget her.

Alex wouldn’t have forgotten her, for nothing in the world. He wouldn’t have forgotten her because she was his muse. At the same time, his blue eyes wouldn’t have ever forgotten that pair of black eyes that watched him that night for the first time and both of them had been so happy. They didn’t care that they weren’t alone in the coffee shop or that Robert hadn’t lost sight of them all that time, curious to find out what his boss would do eventually - would Alex start a conversation with that beautiful lady or he’d ignore her as he generally did with the beautiful ladies.

„He didn’t ignore her though,” Robert whispered eventually, looking behind Alex, who was in front of the big window again, watching her leave. „Even so… he didn’t grab her hand or ask for her phone number, something that tells me he’ll have to deal with the insufferable longing he often feels for long.” Then, he also smiled, melancholically, aware that his boss would stay there for a long time, immersed in thoughts and dreaming to see her again. After that, still smiling, Robert turned his back to Alex and went to wash those two cups with red lipstick on them… Cups that kept the shape of her lips… those untouched by other lips… at least, not touched by those lips that would have done everything to feel their aroma… something similar to the coffee one…