When Alex saw her again, he was passing on the street „James” that night. He was heading at that moment toward one of the famous pubs in the town, „The Danny’s,” intending to play some pool with his friends. He wasn’t alone but with a fellow, Mark Flynn, who had been the person who insisted that Alex should close his coffee shop that evening and spend it with his friends.
Alex hadn’t been that eager to go out that night because the melancholy he had felt in the last few days left him kind of powerless. Yet, he couldn’t say no to Mark when this one had told him that he wouldn’t accept a no as an answer to his invitation. That’s why, seeing that his friend insisted, Alex was forced to give up and close the coffee shop for an evening, thinking that it was Friday and the youngsters used to spend such an evening with their friends in a pub or club, and not reading a book.
He wasn’t that wrong in thinking so because, on Fridays, he had only a few clients. Only one or two of his regular clients passed by that place on Friday evening, but not even they came every Friday. That’s why Alexander told himself that maybe it would have helped him feel better if leaving his place and spent some time with his friends, forgetting about her at least for a short time.
What Alexander didn’t want to accept, at least not openly, was that leaving his apartment he started to think that maybe he would see her again if passing by a place. That’s why, walking on the streets, because he insisted on walking until „The Danny’s,” Alex kept looking around, thinking that maybe he’d see her. Yet, he hadn’t been that lucky though, and this made him so unhappy. At one point, he even wanted to turn back home but didn’t do that because he felt bad about Mark, whom he couldn’t explain eventually his sudden desire to return home. At the same time, the man was afraid of not being considered a kind of spoiled kid, a big one actually, who turned back home just because he didn’t get that candy he wanted that night.
Nevertheless, while they crossed the street „James,” better to say when they passed by the restaurant „The Helm,” Alex’s heart suddenly pounced in his chest. This happened because he finally spotted a familiar silhouette at one of the tables, which was next to the window. Looking over there, the man smiled because… yes, she was there, the one he had dreamt about in the last few days was there… that woman he had waited for crossing the threshold of his coffee shop again but who didn’t come and made him wait in vain for her… was there.
Soon after this, Alex’s smile vanished when he saw a man sitting at the same table as his Helen of Troy. „A friend,” he thought when he saw her standing up and greeting that man with a large smile on her face. Yet, when that man kissed her lips, and she didn’t try to avoid it, poor Alex felt that the whole world collapsed over his shoulders. This happened because he finally understood what he intentionally tried to ignore all those days - she didn’t come to his coffee shop again because she had someone she cared about already.
Understanding this, Alex sighed. He felt weird looking at that „Worthy Rival” as he called that man, in his head, because the companion of that Helen of Troy really looked good. That man wasn’t only handsome but seemed to be someone she cared about, and the most important thing was that the rival was someone she wanted with her because, soon after this, Alex saw her leaning over the table and, grabbing that man’s hand, she told him something and smiled.
Her companion didn’t smile though, and Alexander clearly saw this because he kept looking at them through the window. Alex knew that it wasn’t fair to do that, spying on them, but he couldn’t avoid this. Even so, he told himself that it wouldn’t be something wrong if they had seen him there, looking at them, because they might think that he was there and looking at the restaurant because he was thinking about entering that place or not.
Eventually, when Mark touched his shoulder and then asked him, „Something happened, Alex?” he only shook his head and forced a smile. After that, although he would have liked to stay there for a little bit longer, Alexander pointed with his head in front, letting his friend know that it was time to move on. Yet, leaving the restaurant behind, Alexander glanced over there again, seeing his beautiful Helen withdrawing her hand from the hand of her „lover,” as Alex thought. Alex even thought that her glance suddenly turned sad, although, before that, he had the feeling that her eyes were shining because of happiness and because that man came there and greeted her with a kiss.
„Yet, that man doesn’t seem to be in love with her,” Alexander caught himself whispering at one point. Not only did he listen to that whisper but also Mark, who winced. Then, he stared at Alexander, confused, as though he didn’t understand what that one said.
„What are you talking about this time?” Flynn murmured eventually, insistently looking at his friend.
Alexander dumbly smiled this time, understanding that his secret was about to be discovered. Then, not to give himself away, he said, „Just thoughts. Don’t take it too seriously. Anyway, it wasn’t about you.”
„Then? Was it about those two at whom you looked through the window?”
Doyle winced. It meant that his dear friend also noticed those two in-love people who were sitting at the table next to the big window of the restaurant „The Helm.” Yes, Mark undoubtedly also noticed them. Even so, he said nothing, letting Alexander think that he wasn’t attentive to what was going on. Yet, Flynn had been pretty attentive because he was a good observer of everything that happened around him. Especially, he used to notice things about his friends. That’s why, seeing that Alexander kept silent and only looked at him, confused, Mark smiled.
„You know, there’s nothing strange about being caught spying on someone’s love,” he told Alex eventually, smiling. „Thus, you can get to be envious of love.”
Alexander frowned. „What makes you think that I am envious of them and I haven’t seen them by chance while looking at the restaurant?”
„Because this isn’t something you generally do,” Mark responded, smiling. „At the same time, you aren’t that kind of person who spends some time in front of the restaurants. Yet, I can’t say the same if a certain smell of love is felt from there. It’s when the hopeless romantic inside you awakes, even if it’s just a coincidence. Like… simply passing by a place.”
Alex winced. „Passing by? What do you mean? Love?”
„Not only. I mean your feelings in concrete, my friend, because… you are weird sometimes. So weird.”
„I don’t see anything strange in being scatterbrained sometimes,” said Alex drily, forcing a smile, even though he didn’t want to smile at that moment. „Yet, I have to accept that you are also right: I use to fall prey to dreaming sometimes, in unexpected places.”
„You at least accept that I don’t have visions when I talk like that about you, and this is already a good sign,” his friend teased him in a playful voice. „Just as I have to accept that she’s undoubtedly a beautiful woman.”
Doyle winced again, hearing his friend talking like that about Her. „Do you think so? I mean… does she also seem pretty to you?”
„You don’t?” Flynn answered with another question. „I wouldn’t be that sure, and do you know why? Because your eyes are the mirror of your soul, Doyle. Your eyes have always betrayed you. Just as my tongue betrays me sometimes when I talk too much and tell others about my plans and thoughts.”
That was right. Mark Flynn was undoubtedly a talkative person. He could talk for hours on a trivial topic, touching each of its meanings until nothing was left to be discussed about this. Mark was actually the opposite of Alex, who was quiet most of the time, a deliberate man, who loved to listen more than deep into a certain subject. Even so, his silence couldn’t be considered ignoring someone because, only when it was necessary, he said something, letting his interlocutor know that he was there and that their talk wasn’t a simple monologue.
Even if Alex hadn’t said anything, Mark wouldn’t have accused his friend of ignoring him. The reason? Mark knew Alex very well. They had been friends since childhood, went to the same school, and fell in love with the same girl in high school, and their families had always been friends. Actually, that beautiful young girl with blue eyes, of whom Alex had fallen in love once, had preferred Flynn then, who wasn’t known only as being talkative but also popular among women, having a lot of girlfriends at that time. Even so, nobody could accuse Mark of being a lover boy because even if he had many girlfriends, he hadn’t ever abandoned any of them, but they had always abandoned him.
Honestly, Mark Flynn was a great man. He was cheerful and didn’t only trust people but also others always trusted him. Especially his friends could count on Flynn when they needed that because, besides being a good watcher, Flynn was also a good strategist, who always managed to get rid of problems without suffering too much. Mark even helped others when they’d been in problems, a fact that made others consider him a kind of Guardian Angel.
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Flynn had been a Guardian Angel for Alexander Doyle too. He fulfilled this role since they had met because Mark, who was considered the Light in that friendship, did everything to always be around the Shadow. „A warm one,” as he often used to joke about this because he’d always been happy and safe around Alex. Doyle felt the same about Mark because, besides the short rivalry they had had in high school, which Mark found out about only after he had broken up with that girl with blue eyes, they hadn’t ever argued about anything or said bad words about the other one. They did that even if they felt that sometimes… a kind of good envy for each other. It had been a constructive envy, in fact, one that just made their friendship stronger, bringing them closer to each other as they hadn’t ever been before.
***
„The Danny’s” was pretty crowded that evening, and Alex noticed that right after entering the pub. A crowd he disliked because he liked peace and loneliness more than that deafening noise that was heard all over. Even so, even if he had liked to rotate on his heels and return home to read a book, Alex didn’t have any other choice than to make room through the other clients to get to the table where his friends were already sitting. Actually, he couldn’t leave because of Mark, who seemed to have read his thoughts, and, not to let him escape that place, grabbed Alex’s arm and forced him to step in front of him.
Heading toward the table, Alexander carefully looked around. He saw unknown faces among those gathered around the pool tables and in front of the dart discs, just as he saw the familiar faces of those he had seen before. Yet, none of those faces was someone close to him because Doyle used to spend his time alone, even if nobody could say that he isolated himself from the rest of the world or that he was a vampire that ran away from the solar light and people.
On the contrary, Alexander Doyle was a pleasant man, as it was good for the owner of a coffee shop to be. He also had a developed sense of humor when he felt that his clients needed that, something that made them always feel good and return to the coffee shop. All this helped Alex to have a lot of friends and acquaintances in town, people who smiled at him each time they saw him in the street or shook his hand when they met him in a private group. Even so, Alex liked to keep out with the majority of them, preferring not to be involved in the relationships he had with other people. He did that, trying to avoid being caught in certain weird stories or wasting his time with them, a time he preferred to dedicate to the books and his coffee shop in particular.
Many people started considering him weird because of this. Why exactly? They thought that it was weird for a man like Alexander, who was handsome and wealthy, to keep out with people and not build relationships. At the same time, many people also considered it weird the fact that Doyle didn’t try to open more coffee shops in town or all around the country, although his place was pretty popular in Westport. If he had done this, he would have undoubtedly become a successful executive because he had both the charm and the support he needed, once his family dealt with the manufacturing of textiles. Even so, Alex preferred to be the owner of a simple coffee shop and not one of the most important personalities in the town and even in the whole world.
What was strange for others wasn’t for Alexander. He knew very well the reason for that soul pleasure - to be alone with the books and spend time in his coffee shop. His family also knew about this and supported him, although his old father, who would have preferred Alexander to rule the company in his place once he had retired, had been against that idea at first. Yet, listening to his son’s reasons to spend his days like that, who told him that he felt better this way and not suffocated as he felt each time he was in a crowded place, old Doyle, who loved his children more than his life, had decided to respect his son’s will and allowed him to do whatever he wanted. Nevertheless, old Doyle allowed Alex to do that only after he had promised his father that if it had been absolutely necessary for him to be involved in the family business, he would undoubtedly do that. A promise that Alex intended to respect at any cost because, as his family loved him, Alex loved his parents and sister the same or more. Yet, for the moment, seeing that his older sister was doing great ruling the family business, he decided to stay away from it and, only from time to time, he was giving her a piece of good advice or was involved in a minor project when Erin asked him to do that.
Honestly, Erin was the most concerned about her younger brother and the fact that he preferred the loneliness when she would have wanted to see him in love, and, why not, married and having his own family. Erin wanted this so much: to see her brother happy, whom she knew was sensitive, just as she knew that people were mean and that they could hurt someone if that one was different from them. Because of this, Erin often asked Mark to make Alex get out, at least from time to time to see the world, just to make sure he wouldn’t be considered a weirdo or savage when it would have been necessary to see other people. And, once Mark Flynn had a certain sympathy for Erin, whom he considered the lady of his soul, he did everything to force Doyle to leave his snail shell, at least for a short time, inviting him to have dinner or play pool or dart as it happened that night.
Each time Mark was taking Alexander out, he also invited other friends with them. He did that because he thought it would be funnier this way and that Alexander could make the relationship he had with them stronger. Sometimes, their friends brought more friends, many of them unknown people to Doyle but with whom he often had something in common or could have a long and interesting talk. At such a reunion, Doyle met Lucas Murphy, who also considered himself a hopeless romantic, just as Alex did, just as he introduced himself as a soul poet, whose poems still didn’t reach people’s ears because „People stopped appreciating the worthy art because they focused on minor and unimportant things more,” as Murphy considered.
Murphy was there that night too. Alex saw him right after entering the pub. He was staying a little bit further from the rest of his friends, staring at his phone, as he usually did. What interesting Lucas found on his phone, that night or generally, Alex hadn’t ever found out. Even so, he didn’t bother too much about this because he understood very well that all of them were humans and each of them had his own weird habits. Especially, he knew that the poets were strange, who often thought that the whole world was against them, something that made them suffer because „Only a poet that truly suffers can write a masterpiece.” At least this was what Murphy often said, even if he wasn’t also sure that what he said was really so.
When he remembered Lucas Murphy’s words, Alex smiled. He didn’t understand very well why he smiled but he still did that. Then, after they approached the table and greeted their friends, Alex approached Lucas, next to whom he sat down eventually. Alex didn’t say anything, for a very long time, allowing that one to leave his „inner suffering” away and see other people around him. Something that happened eventually because Murphy put his phone on the table at one point, sadly whispering, „Still, this world is so unfair to us, the men!”
Alex looked at him, confused. „Unfair? What makes you think this?”
„Love,” the poet whispered again, sighing, something that made Doyle stare at him, even more confused than before. Spotting his friend’s glance focused on him, Lucas closed his eyes for a few moments, taking his usual aura of a mysterious poet, whispering in the end, „I mean the love of the world for us, the men. Love we receive fewer and fewer recently, or maybe at all.”
„Do you talk about someone in particular?” One of their friends, Logan Farrell, joined their talk. This guy was known in their circle of friends as the „Busybody,” and this happened because he loved to poke his nose in other’s business, especially if he eavesdropped on a subject that seemed interesting to him. Something he did that night too when he heard the „suffering poet” talking about the injustice the world did to men, something that told him that Lucas’s story was definitely about his love for someone.
Logan was right in thinking this about Lucas because, soon after this, they heard Murphy sighing and saying, „You are actually right, Farrell: I talk about the love that has the face of a woman, the one who ignores us always… us, the men, especially if we are poets.”
The poet’s remark made his friends burst into laughter because they found it strange to hear such words from Murphy’s mouth. Not that they haven’t ever heard strange things from him. Yet, before that, he had always idolized the woman when that night he’d been about to call her selfish and that she ignored men because they were poets. A stupid thing in his friends’opionion, who were confident in themselves and knew that they could have any woman they wanted.
The only one who didn’t smile because of Murphy’s words had been Alexander. He didn’t smile because he understood that maybe it was difficult for Lucas at that moment, just as he understood that if the poet said something like that, it was because he’d been again refused by a lady or Mrs. whom he fell in love with, and this with „falling in love with someone” was something specific to Murphy, or that his „muse” vanished somewhere, making poor Lucas suffer alone.
Even if he understood this, Alex didn’t try to find out what exactly happened to Murphy. He was sure that when Lucas would be ready to talk about his „pain,” he’d undoubtedly do that because Lucas Murphy has always been like that: if he felt that he wasn’t able to suffer alone, he was telling everybody about his pain, just to make sure that at least his friends would pity him. What Alexander told his friend that evening after their friends left them alone and focused on the game of pool, which they found more interesting than Murphy’s story, was, „You know, Lucas: sometimes it’s better to be like that - the woman to be only a muse and nothing real. Thus, we have better chances to dream about her and not feel disappointed because of her, in case our plans won’t come true.”
„Are you talking like that because of something you have experienced?”
„I’m just… saying what crosses my mind,” Alex said, clumsily smiling.
„It doesn’t seem like that to me,” insisted Murphy, fixing his glance on Alex. „Do you know why? Because, if you say something like that, it means your eyes have seen something truly beautiful.”
Yes… maybe Murphy was a weirdo and everything others wanted, but he often said true things. At the same time, he was the only one of Alex’s friends who could understand for real what happened in the in-love soul of the romantic Alexander Doyle. Yet, even if Lucas guessed what exactly happened in Doyle’s soul at that moment, Alexander decided not to talk to him about this. Alex did that because he preferred to keep for himself only the secret about his platonic love for that Helen of Troy, a woman he kept dreaming of in those last few days since he met her. A woman he had waited to cross the threshold of his coffee shop for at least one more time, but who broke his heart that evening when she kissed that „Worthy Rival” and not him.