„Were you sleeping already?” Kate’s voice resounded so sadly in the receiver when Alex answered the phone.

„Not yet,” he answered after a few moments of silence. Then, he waited for her to say something else. All he heard after this was her pleasant breathing, something that touched his heart and which he learned to adore - the breath of the woman he wanted with him, although he knew that Kate was someone else’s woman. Even so, he knew that she was unhappy. He felt that even at that moment when they talked by phone because if she called him at that late hour, it was undoubtedly because of the sadness in her soul. She also said nothing, for minutes in a row, and this made him think. Her silence even preoccupied him, making Alex ask eventually, „Something happened?”

„Not really,” Kate said right away. „Well, yes. Honestly, I’m also not sure of this,” she stuttered after that. „I just… needed to talk to someone. And… also to breathe some fresh air. Can you accompany me?”

Total silence was heard in the receiver after this. Only his calm breathing was heard and nothing else. Kate even thought at one point that she could hear the mad beatings of his heart, and she heard that after her question. Heart beatings that concerned her because she wouldn’t have liked him to think badly about her, especially because she was calling him at such a late hour - 3 a.m.

Looking at her wristwatch and seeing that it was so late, Kate rushed to say, „No, wait! I’ve been wrong in calling you so late. It’s really late. Let’s talk in the morning!” Then, she tried to hang up.

„Wait!” She heard the man’s voice in the receiver, feeling the concern in it. „Kate, wait! Don’t hang up!” He added, somehow fearing her silence. „Let’s meet!”

„But… isn’t it too late?” She asked, shy. „It’s three o’clock in the morning and…”

„…it’s nothing! I wasn’t sleeping anyway but reading a book. So, I have time and… see you soon!” Then, he hung up.

The sound of the interrupted call made Kate’s heart wince. It even strangely pounced in her chest after this. Yes, she felt that because she felt like a teenager at that moment. She felt even in love, as she had felt in high school when the boy she had liked called her to ask her about their homework and told her that he was barely waiting for the weekend to be over and see her again. This thought made her smile… so strange she felt at that moment, squeezing her phone in her hand while her teary eyes were staring at the flames in the fireplace, which she found burning so strangely at that late hour.

Soon after that, Kate looked at Jonathan, who was sleeping so tightly on that big bed. He hadn’t even bothered to take his shoes off or change his clothes. Kate did the same: she didn’t bother to take his shoes and coat off. No. She decided that at least that night not to worry about him but about herself. Kate did that because of Erin’s words, who talked to her about happiness and dreams that night. At the same time, she had also been impressed by the way Alex had answered the phone and, without thinking too much about this, he decided to see her, although it was so late already.

„Something Jonathan wouldn’t have ever done,” she whispered, looking at his tired face, even if Ward was sleeping. „Yes, he wouldn’t have ever done that. He would have told me not to be a child and to go to sleep because it was too late already. Or… he wouldn’t have answered my call. Alex instead…”

When Jonathan moved in his sleep, Kate suddenly silenced the voice of her mind. She didn’t do that because of fear but because she felt guilt for thinking about another man when she had her boyfriend with her. Yet… was it really her guilt for that strange situation between them? Had she been so wrong in that story? No, she was sure that it wasn’t anything like that because she had fought so much for that relationship to work. She’d been the only one fighting for their relationship while Ward didn’t make the smallest effort for that. All he did was to find excuses, glorifying his work but never her. At the same time, he appreciated more those who surrounded him and not their love. That’s why he was leaving her alone and forgot her. At least this was what Kate thought about them eventually - that he had completely forgotten her and, leaving her alone, he made her look for another man. „One that cares so much and is concerned for me not to be alone or need something. You instead… you haven’t cared about this for so long.”

Such thoughts made Kate shed tears. Tears that stopped running when they were halfway down her cheeks because she wiped them. Then, grabbing her coat and the keys, Kate left the hotel room when she felt that she lacked air. She didn’t feel that because of the strong alcohol smell felt from Jonathan but because of everything she felt… that she hadn’t been strong enough to resist temptation, and this made her feel so guilty. Yet, she wasn’t able to live with her loneliness only, not anymore. All this hurt her so much, and this was so because she had given up on so many things for a relationship that seemed not to have a future anymore.

***

Kate’s upset was undoubtedly because of Jonathan that night. It was his fault for appearing there that night and spoiling her good mood, bringing her back to a world of sadness and solitude, where he abandoned her since they came to Westport. Or maybe he left her there longer than this?!

Honestly, Kate wasn’t sure of anything lately. She wasn’t even sure of herself, of what she wanted from life, of people around her, those who had always judged her and asked for more than they could have given her, just as she wasn’t sure that that life which she lived could have made her happy. No, she was sure that that love wasn’t making her happy, a love she was still clinging to, and she was sure of this because she had seen a new face of the world: the one where others cared about her and wanted her to be happy, without asking for something in exchange.

It’s better to say that Kate understood this after she’d seen love in Mark’s eyes at the dinner when he had so gently looked at Erin. She’d also seen love in Alex’s eyes - love for his sister. Then she felt in him the concern because that love, between the two brothers, was unique - they cared about each other and were capable of giving up on their happiness to make sure the other one would be happy, a sacrifice Kate understood she was also capable of. Kate knew that because she had sacrificed for others so many times before - for her family, friends, and, not least, for Jonathan, without feeling the same thing from him.

Or maybe everything had been an illusion? The fact that she’d seen happiness in the eyes of the others and that she also felt the love in their hearts? Yes, it might have happened because she had dreamt and longed for that for so long. Instead of these feelings, she received only part of them, small pieces that others could give her to keep her with them, to control and make her wait for them, making Kate think that waiting meant being happy.

„How stupid I’ve been,” she murmured and sighed. Then, she shuddered again, pulling her coat closer to her body.

She was in front of the hotel at that moment, waiting for Alex. Yes, Kate was again waiting, but she had no choice this time because she didn’t want to be accompanied only by loneliness at that moment, as it had happened so many times before, but by someone alive. She looked for that because she hated to be held by hand only by sadness and by that longing for a better future. What the woman dreamt of was to feel someone’s warm hand holding hers. „Just as it happened that cold November night,” she whispered melancholically because she was sure that Alex did that not to warm her hand that night but to show her his care. Honestly, that night when Alex so unexpectedly appeared on that dark narrow street to protect her from those two strangers who were bothering her, Kate finally felt someone’s care for her, even if that someone was a simple stranger to her.

„I felt so good even if he did that because of kindness,” Kate caught another thought crossing her mind, a sad thought that made her shudder again. „No, it can’t be,” she stubbornly denied the truth… that truth that her mind tried to make her see it. „It couldn’t have been only because of kindness because I saw the interest in his eyes. Yes, I saw interest in his glance in the evening when he asked me to dance with him. I clearly saw that interest in him and I also felt it because his heart so strangely beat in his chest and he so pleasantly smelled like coffee.”

Kate smiled. „Coffee!” Yes, coffee had always been her biggest weakness. Especially, the bitter taste of coffee with cinnamon or vanilla had been her weakness, something that had always made her vibrate each time she sipped from it. An aroma that made her happy, but which became special the moment she crossed the threshold of the coffee shop „Aisling.” This happened because that day she looked into the blue eyes of the owner of the coffee shop when he prepared that coffee for her, and Kate felt alive again and that she had feelings.

„Yet, what kind of feelings I had then?” Kate wondered this after a few moments when she remembered that rainy day in November. „Nostalgia? Happiness? Or maybe… it had been something more?” She wasn’t that sure. Honestly, she wasn’t sure of anything, especially of everything that had something to do with her because she had been wrong so many times before when she thought that she knew what life meant and that she knew well those that were with her. She’d been wrong though. She’d been wrong so many times before that she lost the number. Kate had even forgotten about herself, thinking that she was learning things about others this way, things that might have helped them be happy and her to be appreciated, although she missed so many things, and the biggest lack of her life was exactly love.

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Because of love, Kate eventually hid between books. She did that in the hope that she’d find there what she had always looked for while wandering the world. She wanted at least there, through the book’s pages, to feel what love meant and what the real melody of love was - the melody of an in-love heart that beats only in the rhythm of another heart.

Yes - she found all this while reading books. She found happiness, but not in herself but in other lonely beings like her. Kate found all this through the lines of the books but never while walking on the street or looking into the eyes of people, something that brought disappointment in her eyes soon after this. This happened because she thought that she didn’t see happiness in others’eyes because she wasn’t capable of loving enough or making others love her.

That’s why, because she didn’t see happiness and love in people’s eyes, Kate stopped looking into them. She looked at the ground instead, at the top of her stiletto shoes each time she was slowly walking on the street. Kate also looked at the sky when she was sitting on a bench in the park and could leave aside, even if for a short time only, the story she was reading. Thus, looking at the sky, she saw love, the one hidden through clouds and so warmly embraced by the rays of the November sun. At the same time, there was happiness in those yellow leaves too, those leaves that danced with the wind, falling off the branches and heading toward a new love - earth, the one that had always given them warmth and life when they looked at it from above and calmly waited for them to warm it when the autumn would come. Thus, the earth was sure it would be able to endure the longing and would allow the wind to take the soul of those leaves on its wings and take them so far… toward the horizon, in its warm arms.

„What about people?” Kate whispered and sighed again. „What about our longing that’s not rewarded eventually? What about the longing and our dedication that serve for nothing eventually? I don’t know. I really don’t know. I don’t know if it’s worth it… all this and if they are the equivalent of happiness. Honestly, I don’t think they are because there can’t be happiness where there are only tears and when your heart is hurt.”

Looking into the distance, after she had finally dared to take her eyes off the top of her shoes, which she looked at for so long, Kate met Alex’s eyes. He was stopped a few meters from her, on the other sidewalk. Why he was there and didn’t approach her, Kate wasn’t sure. She didn’t even care about that. She only smiled when the man did the same, seeing her looking at him. Then, with that large smile sketched on her face, Kate headed toward the man who was crossing the street already, having a single destination - Her.

***

Those steps were perfectly set up. They had a single rhythm and a single melody accompanied them because… it couldn’t be different when two hearts had the same rhythm. For whom those hearts were beating? For love. For that love hidden through a book’s pages, a love that those two hearts had dreamt of for an entire life, but which they thought they wouldn’t ever meet it.

At least this happened in Kate’s case, who had believed in Jonathan. She had believed in that love that had to bring happiness at her feet and fulfillment in her soul. What that relationship brought her instead was the longing closer and the sadness in her eyes, just as it brought disappointment into her arms… so many times before.

Because of this, Kate’s eyes shed tears again. Tears that she hid soon after this, looking elsewhere. She did that because of the sadness that sneaked into her heart again, making her feel that she lacked air. Disappointment that was undoubtedly tied by the man she had left sleeping in the hotel room and who made her want to stay far away from him that night.

The reason? Betray hurt her. Especially, what hurt her more were those few words written by the „other one” in a simple but clear message „I’m sorry, love. I know I’ve been wrong.” A message that Kate read by pure chance while she was still hiding in the bathroom and waiting for Ward to calm down and fall asleep. Words that made her heart bleed more because it meant that what she had been thinking about in those few weeks weren’t only suspicions anymore but reality - Jonathan was cheating on her. He did that. Not with a random woman but with his secretary, about whom he told Kate so many times before that had nothing special, at least not something that could make him pay attention to her. „Only her green eyes, which seem to have made him fall for them and forget about us,” Kate thought, sighing again.

Kate winced after this when she felt Alex watching her. „Something happened?” He shyly asked her.

Kate didn’t answer. She felt weird and somehow ashamed to say something. She simply couldn’t tell him that she called Alex there, during the night, because she suffered because of someone else. No, she simply couldn’t tell him that he was the only person she had thought about as being the one who could save her from loneliness and black thoughts, something that would have undoubtedly overwhelmed her if she had stood all night long in that hotel room or worse - locked in the bathroom.

What she could tell him instead had been „Thoughts! Yes, it’s undoubtedly because of thoughts… this sigh. And, maybe… it’s also because of what happened today.”

„Because of what happened today?” The man asked, confused. „Do you mean at the dinner?”

„Honestly, yes. I started to feel strange when we were having dinner. I felt confused and… like a stranger.”

„Was it because of us? Did we upset you or maybe…”

„…no! It wasn’t because of you but because of everything that I experienced today. It’s better to say that I feel like that because I’ve tasted happiness again and I don’t know if I can live without it anymore.”

Alex frowned. „You don’t know if you can live without happiness anymore?” He asked, confused. Then, suddenly, Alex smiled. „Something I can’t understand, Kate. I can’t understand why exactly you should live without happiness when you deserve that.”

„Because…” Kate stuttered, not knowing what else to say. No, she knew. She knew that answer, but she was afraid to say it loudly. Kate was afraid to say loudly „Because I don’t deserve it, once I didn’t know to choose love well. Especially, I didn’t know how to choose the one who is with me today. If you had been with me now, then…”

Such a thought made Kate wince again. After that, she looked at Alex, scared because it was the first time she was seeing the man Alex and not a simple friend. Not that she hadn’t considered him a real man before or felt jealousy, but because she thought that he might have been someone able to make her happy. Yes, it was undoubtedly because of this - she had been happy since she met him, he made her compare her life with Cinderella’s life and with the life of so many other happy characters, just as she compared love with the smell of coffee.

„It’s been because of him,” Kate whispered in her head, staring at Alex, who did the same, but who looked so confused at that moment. „It’s been because I’ve finally seen what a man’s care for a woman means, especially for me. Yes, he’s the one who made me feel like a woman again, to remember that I also exist in this world, that I’m important, and that I don’t deserve just to wait for something. At least, it’s not worth waiting for the one who forgot the way back to you, since long ago, just to make you value him more. This man instead… gave me everything without waiting for nothing in exchange, and I think this is the real love and longing.”

At that moment, Kate felt the thrill. She felt it so pleasantly running through her body and making her slowly shiver. It was undoubtedly love in her heart. Or maybe just… longing? Kate wasn’t that sure and didn’t even care too much about this. She just felt it because it was something she had longed for so long - to feel so intensely that pleasant thrill of love, a thrill she had forgotten about, but which she couldn’t confuse anymore with the regrets while wondering „What if or why?”

What Kate did instead was to stop. Alex did the same, looking at her after this - he was confused. Then, so unexpectedly that the man’s heart stopped in his chest, for seconds only, Kate hugged him. After that, she whispered, „Let’s stay like that, Alex! At least for a little bit! I need to hear your heart beating, to feel its calmness, something I haven’t felt for so long!”

The man’s heart was so pleasantly beating at that moment. It seemed to be a sweet melody, something she had been longing for. A melody that filled her eyes with tears again, making her vibrate because… oh, God, she felt so good to be stuck to his chest. She felt alive and that she was loved, although she knew that it wasn’t fair to feel all this once she wasn’t his. Yet, she wanted to do that, with all her heart. Kate wanted all this because she was alive, a woman whose heart was beating in the rhythm of love and longing. She was undoubtedly crazy if she could hug him - at night, on the street - another man and not the one she considered hers. Even so, Kate knew that her madness was something she could forgive because it was born from betrayal, something that still didn’t make her want revenge - at least not with this man who made her vibrate again.

No, Kate didn’t use Alex at that moment. She just… did what she felt: she wanted to have him close because he made her feel alive, a woman who was loved and protected in his arms. A man who stood with her, even if she knew that it wasn’t fair to do that while she was someone else’s woman, „Of a Worthy Rival” as Alex had always thought about Jonathan.

At that moment though, he didn’t want to think about all this. Yes, he didn’t want that because he dreamt of this all those three weeks since he met Kate. That’s why he afforded the luxury of having her - something he had always denied to him. And, so suddenly, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer to his chest, so happily smiling while looking at the sky… that sky that witnessed their romance so many times before and which Alex had asked for a miracle. One that happened eventually because flakes of snow suddenly started to fall from above, surrounding them. „Flakes of innocence and pure love,” the man thought after this, sticking his cheek on the top of her head and silently listening to the rhythmic dance of her heart on his chest.

Hugging each other and lonely, on an empty street that lacked people, two in-love people were watched by white tears that were falling from above… the tears of an in-love sky. Tears that had the form of innocent flakes of snow this time, flakes that surrounded them from everywhere, whispering into their ears those whispers of love, whispers like „The first flakes of snow always bring happiness in your souls, joining destinies and maybe bringing more…”