„Kate, wait!” Alex called her name when he saw her leaving the hotel and heading down the street. Then, when Kate stopped and looked in amazement at him because she hadn’t expected to see him there, Doyle quickened his pace, getting to her running. „I just wanted to see how you were,” he said after that, staring into the woman’s beautiful eyes, who kept looking at him, stunned, because she did everything to avoid seeing him, but he was still there.
„I’m fine,” she murmured eventually. „I’ve just… had things to do,” she said after that, looking around but not at Alex. „Why are you here?”
„Because I wanted to see you,” the man replied, shyly. „I missed you. Yes, I missed my friend.”
Kate smiled. „Your friend? I thought we didn’t get there. To be friends, I mean. At least I had this feeling all the time we spent together because… a few nights spent together, reading or drinking a glass of wine, doesn’t turn people into friends.”
„What if all this makes people friends, Kate?” The man asked, smiling. „I mean… there isn’t a clear definition of friendship, as far as I know. That’s why I think that anybody can be friends with everybody as long as they have common hobbies. We have that. The books, for example, and… the smell of coffee.”
„That it’s still felt coming from you… so pleasant,” whispered Kate inside her, staring into the man’s beautiful blue eyes. Even her heart strangely pounced in her chest after such thought, the same heart that was stubborn to push her toward him, although her mind was yelling at her to stay away from him because she could make him suffer and suffer too. „Even so, it’s so pleasant to have you here, with me, at the distance of a simple glance full of longing,” the woman thought after that. „It’s really pleasant because… Oh, God, these blue eyes are so hard to forget. They are something that deeply entered my soul, making me vibrate so much, even if I still have been banned from feeling their love.”
Why the love for that pair of blue eyes was forbidden for Kate? She also didn’t know that. Kate only felt that she didn’t have the right to love them, not yet, not while she was still caught in the spiderweb of her relationship with Ward. A relationship that Kate couldn’t end or continue, even if Jonathan returned to her three days ago.
Ward returned to her so suddenly and unexpectedly that Kate found it really difficult to think that it might have been real. She couldn’t understand that because Jonathan returned to her without explaining things, just as he didn’t ask for an explanation from her for that night when she rejected him. She simply refused to have intimacy with him, and that was all for Ward. Actually, this didn’t matter too much for him because he had done this so many times before. Even so, even if he ignored her and rejected her for so long, Ward still wanted her because he couldn’t give up on that perfect woman… a perfect woman in other’s eyes but not in his.
Nevertheless, Ward hadn’t ever told Kate about this. He didn’t talk to her about this, not because he didn’t want to hurt her, but because he knew he could lose more than he could win if he had done that. Yet, this didn’t ever impede him from hurting her through words, deeds, through all those nights he had spent away from her in another woman’s arms. Just as his „love” didn’t impede him from keeping her close when he understood that maybe Kate didn’t want to be with him anymore, and this that because of selfishness. Yes, Ward was undoubtedly selfish, one that people rarely meet in their lives. Yet, he was a „Selfish and a jerk with class,” as he had heard others talking about him so many times before.
Probably because of this, because he was unscrupulous and didn’t have a conscience, Jonathan returned to Kate so easily. It happened in the evening, after work when, instead of going with Susan to another hotel, where she asked him to see her after work, he returned to the hotel room where Kate was. When he entered the room, Ward said nothing and Kate the same. He only took the jacket off, put the briefcase on the sofa, and entered the bathroom to take a shower. After that, he lay next to Kate, who was reading at that moment, turning his back to her and whispering a barely heard „Good Night, Kate!” eventually.
Kate didn’t answer that Good Night.” She only looked at him in amazement. Yes, she was really surprised because, as she knew Ward, his return to her life was something unexpected and unpredictable because… „Did he give up on her so easily?” Kate asked after this. „Or… maybe they argued and he’s back here for a short while only?” Questions that remained unanswered that night and the days that came after that, days that he spent at the office and Kate reading in their room. The nights instead were spent together: having dinner and saying no word to each other. After that, each of them did what he wanted to do - Kate reading as usual, and Jonathan checking certain files or watching the TV. For the rest, there weren’t feelings between them, just as there wasn’t respect between them anymore, something that both of them were aware of but none of them dared to talk about that.
What Jonathan dared to ask her was to wear the engagement ring again. This happened an evening before seeing Alex again. That evening, while having dinner, Jonathan looked at her, and, not seeing the ring on her finger, he told her, „I’d like you to wear it again, Kate!”
„What exactly?”
„The engagement ring! The one I gave you when I asked you to marry me.”
Kate smiled. „A ring that doesn’t mean anything for any of us, Jonathan. Don’t you also think so?”
„Maybe! Yet, as long as you are with me, you have to wear it!”
Kate had suddenly felt a bitter taste on the top of her tongue after hearing such words. „I have to?” She said with contempt. „What about you? Don’t you also have to respect me? Aren’t you forced to be only with me, once we are still dating?”
„Let’s not fight again, okay?” He drily replied. „I just… try to make things work between us.”
„After everything that happened? As if nothing happened?”
„Yes,” he confidently replied. „Even after everything that happened because… all those years we’ve spent together make us responsible for this relationship and force us to respect each other and certain… principles!”
Kate suddenly burst into laughter. „Jonathan, not even you believe what you say. Why? Because of the same principles, I’ve taken the engagement ring off. Because of your betrayal, something you can’t deny now. Yes, you betrayed me. Not with a stranger, but with the one who’s always with you, in whose eyes I’ve seen the interest… the interest for you, Jonathan, the same woman about whom you’ve always told me that’s „the secretary only.” She’s been more than that. She’s been more than a simple secretary because, besides answering the phone in your place and sending emails for you, she has been sleeping next to you, covering you with the blanket on cold nights while I’ve been forced to face loneliness alone.”
„Not alone,” he sharply replied. „I know already about your new… friends. Especially, I know about the coffee shop owner,” words that he said with contempt and malice.
Kate frowned. „Did you ask someone to follow me?” She asked him, stupefied.
„It wasn’t necessary. Let’s just say that… I have enough friends here.”
„Bullshit, Jonathan! I don’t believe a word of what you say. Why? Because you aren’t the type of man that has friends. Yes, you can have partners, I won’t deny that. You can have mistresses, but not people about whom you care. That’s why, don’t tell me unbelievable stories because I know you. And… stay away from him!”
„Why? Are you afraid that I can do something to him?”
„No, I’m not afraid because I know that he’s capable of protecting himself. If I say that, it’s because it’s not in your interest to have him as your enemy.”
„Because of his family and the relationships he has?”
„Not only because of this, but because you don’t deserve to have him as your enemy. So, if you don’t want to have problems with me too, I recommend you to stay away from him. No, Ward, this is an order already!”
If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.
Kate’s courage amazed Ward so much that night. He hadn’t ever expected that Kate would act like that someday because he thought she was a kind of coward. At the same time, he knew that Kate hated to have enemies or bad partnerships. Yet, moving to Westport and meeting the other one, Kate became another person. However, she didn’t become someone Ward liked. On the contrary, he disliked this new Kate for her daring to confront him and even threatening him openly. This meant only one thing - she had feelings: not for him but for another one, and this meant war.
Nevertheless, even if he disliked being threatened by Kate, Ward gave up on his war with Doyle before starting it. He did that not because he was afraid or because Kate’s words would have meant something to him but because he saw her wearing again the engagement ring the next morning when they had breakfast. Even so, Ward decided to keep an eye on her, knowing very well that a hurt woman could betray her lover one day, and he really didn’t want to experience something like that. At least, Jonathan didn’t want to experience a betrayal at that moment when his business was working well again and his mother, Esther, stopped blowing down his neck, asking him to give up on „the secretary and make peace with Kate.”
That’s why he returned to Kate so unexpectedly. He did that because he understood that if he hadn’t done this, he would have lost everything because Esther threatened him with withdrawing her investment. Knowing all this, Ward decided to keep Susan away from him too because he was really a selfish man - his secretary wasn’t more than a simple affair for him, just as this had happened with all the women with whom he had an affair in the past. Thus, giving up, even if for a short while only, on those pleasures that made him feel alive, Jonathan wanted to make sure he’d succeed in everything. Then, after the sudden wedding, which he wanted to have with Kate no matter what, he would have been free to live his life at his will again, having time for everything that he would have wished in life.
What Ward didn’t know was the real reason why Kate started to wear that ring on her finger again. For her, wearing that engagement ring, meant to give to Ward the last chance to make their relationship work, even if she knew he didn’t deserve that. Yes, Jonathan really didn’t deserve her sacrifice. Yet, by doing this, she did a favor to herself. Thus, if their relationship had gotten to an end eventually, she would have been sure she’d done everything for their relationship to work. She really did everything for that relationship to work, even if the final price was to be lonely again. Kate was definitely sure that Alex wouldn’t forgive her for giving up on what they had for a new start with Jonathan.
„A fresh start that I still want,” she finally told Alex. They were both on the seashore at that moment, at the docks, looking into the distance. „Even if you think that it’s not fair to do that, I still want to do it.”
„The reason?” Alex asked her in a low voice, suddenly feeling that he lacked air because of the pain in his soul.
„Just… an idea I have had since little child. The idea that everything ends only when we want that. And… I don’t want my relationship with Jonathan to end like that. I don’t really want that, Alex. I can’t.”
„Because of everything that has been between you?”
„Not only because of this. It’s also because I don’t want to give up on myself or my principles. I fought too much for this relationship to give up now. I can’t. If I do this, it means that I betray myself.”
Alex suddenly burst out. „Don’t you betray yourself by denying the truth?”
„The truth?” Kate asked, staring at him in amazement. „What truth are talking about?”
„About what you feel, Kate. About the fact that you’ve been happy while we’ve been together. That you haven’t been alone, I mean. Something I can’t say about you right now when I look into your eyes. Why? Because… even if you still wear his ring and say that your relationship has a fresh start, I don’t see you happy. At least you aren’t as happy as you’ve been with us. Not as happy as you’ve been that night when you held me to your chest or when you covered me with the blanket and left, thinking that I was asleep.”
„Did you see everything?”
„Yes, Kate, I saw everything. I felt everything because it’s obvious that there hadn’t been only friendship between us.”
„Why didn’t you say anything then, Alex? Why did you leave me to go that night?”
„Because… you have the right to be happy, Kate. You have the right to choose your own happiness. That’s why I didn’t want to hold you tied by me… not by force and not as long as you don’t want that. At least… I have the feeling that you don’t want that: to be close to me, at least as my friend, because… I’m really capable of accepting at least this.”
„It won’t be fair. I don’t have the right to keep you close and not give you what you deserve. If I do that, it will mean that I’m selfish.”
„I’ll be as selfish as you are because… despite of everything I know about you and that you are with him, I still want you close to me, Kate. I really want you close. I want to be able to see you at least for a few moments. I want to be selfish and see you smiling, live with you the happiness we both deserve, to see the shine in your eyes each time you read a book you like.”
Kate looked at him for a while. At that moment, the sea waves, which were hitting the barrier because of the moderate breeze that was felt from the sea, were so agitated, like their souls that seemed to be in flames. The same happened to the seagulls that flew above them. The birds were also agitated, yelling the pain they felt in the hearts of the two in-love people to the whole world, a pain they weren’t able to talk to others or accept all they felt for the one they wanted with them for an entire life. What Kate could do instead was to look into his eyes again, in those eyes in which she saw shining the vivid desire of having her close to him. That’s why she took a step toward him eventually while Alex didn’t move from his place. Then she took another step and one more. When she was only one step from him, she stopped and, standing on her tiptoes, she approached his face, at the distance of a kiss, whispering to him in the end, „Still, you don’t need that, Alex. You don’t need a woman that cannot be yours completely.”
„What if what I need is a companion?”
„This is all you need? A companion who can make you stop feeling lonely?”
The man shook his head. „I look for a companion for being happy, Kate because happiness doesn’t mean only a beautiful relationship between a man and woman. At least, I’m not talking about a romantic relationship. There is also happiness between two souls that long for each other even from far away, silently, even if they have no right to feel this and even if it’s not fair to have such feelings. Yet, I want this, Kate. I want you with me for my entire life. If this isn’t possible and if your choice is another one, I want you with me at least as my friend because this is better than losing you forever because of the madness of the world and in the arms of loneliness.”
Such words made Kate confused. She was really stunned because she hadn’t ever expected to hear such a confession from the man. At least she didn’t expect to hear that after she clearly told him that she chose Jonathan to be with her for her entire life. Not after she clearly told him that he hadn’t been her choice. Even so, Alex asked her to be close to him and not hide from the world. He asked her to choose happiness instead of love. Alex asked her to be herself, even if this meant giving up completely on everything that a relationship with her could have given him.
Yet, friendship wasn’t an option for Kate. It definitely wasn’t an option because this would have made her suffer more. Kate was pretty sure of that. She was sure that staying with him, after she understood her feelings for him, would have meant betraying him too and making him suffer. Why? Because, having her so close but not being able to have her like his woman but as a simple friend, would have killed him slowly and maybe it would have also sent him to Syria eventually.
That’s why Kate decided that it was time to go. It was time to move and for each of them to continue his life at his will. It was time for each of them to find their peace somewhere else, once she couldn’t give up on what she had and choose him instead of Jonathan. Yes, Kate couldn’t do that because of a simple caprice.
What Kate could do instead was to steal a kiss from him. She did that so unexpectedly that she made Alex freeze eventually. It’s been a short kiss when she raised on her tiptoes again. And, with her eyes wide open and staring into his eyes that reminded her of the sea, she stuck her lips to his. Kate kissed him only for a few moments, but it was enough because she finally understood that she wouldn’t regret after that she didn’t at least kiss him but only dreamt of something more between them. After that, she tried to pass by him, whispering a barely heard but from her soul „Goodbye, Alex! Be happy!”
She stopped to his right eventually when Alex grabbed her arm. Then, without looking at her but somewhere in front, eyes bathed by tears as her eyes also seemed to be at that moment, the man confidently told her, „If you ever regret the made choice and if you ever feel that you need more than your loneliness, you know where to find me, Kate. I’ll be always there, for you, no matter how long time wouldn’t have already passed. I’ll be there for you because I can’t so easily give up on my happiness as you seem to have done.”
Kate looked at him after such words. Alex instead didn’t do the same. He only released her hand and moved away from her… further and further from his happiness that got to have a woman’s face. A happiness he didn’t fight for though because he was as cowardly as Kate was because while she was clinging to a past that hadn’t ever fulfilled her, he was clinging to foolish principles, like the one that a real man couldn’t take a woman from another man.
„Something I would have liked to have done,” Kate sadly murmured while looking behind him. „I would have liked that at least one of us to have dared to take us out of the mad sea called world where we threw ourselves without a life preserver. I would have liked us to have had the courage of the seagulls that always fly in the distance, above the sea and its tormented waves. Thus, we would have had for sure a chance to be happy and for two hearts to sing the same melody and beat at the same time.”
Who sing in their place have been the seagulls above the sea. They sang above the tormented waves and in the arms of the playful wind. At the same time, their footsteps sang, those that were heard while Alex and Kate moved away from each other because of a stupid caprice and ego.