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System Jazz
This Warrants A Laugh

This Warrants A Laugh

"Ah, if it isn't Noob. You're back."

Selena smiles, and since she's a kind librarian-looking lady it would be a shame to punch her.

It was a stupid mistake to set this name anyway and she says it with such affection too.

"Here to check in for zombie quests." Let's get straight to the point.

She furrows her eyebrows, which can't mean anything good. Was it a miscalculation again?

After rummaging below the counter, she pulls out a stack of contracts, shaking her head.

"The lowest-ranked one's D-class." She points it out, tapping the corner of the parchment.

Kill the zombies threatening the western farms, the reward is one gold, which is a lot. And it's only ten of the fuckers.

"The highest-rated job you can take is F-rank."

Oh shit. Wroddit was silent about this little detail unless a recent patch changed it.

The change log popped up with the new STP metric instead of HP when logging back in.

Anything the Wrodditors suggest will be useless if they tweak the mechanics daily.

"Is a promotion still far?" It's not like I didn't look that up.

It would take weeks to reach class C, though the lowest tiers should advance faster.

I'm currently a G-rank, it's two more levels until she'd let me take it. If not, the A plan goes out the window.

"Haha, I'm afraid so."

She puts the sheets away, pulling out a different batch.

While doing the tutorial, the system chirped in to bombard with the metrics and it's silent now. Too bad, the NPCs don't talk about meta stuff.

"What about a rat infestation instead?"

"Rats?" It's my turn to raise an eyebrow.

While players call everything rats that move, she must mean the real thing, right?

Those errands also come in G to C-level varieties, offering only ten coppers for a dozen rats. That's quite the step down from the one gold.

"Yes, the villagers always struggle with them, the basements draw them like magnets."

She explains, and my brain goes into overdrive.

Nobody mentioned actual rats. How much experience do they give, and how many there are?

How long until it boosts my rank to take on the zombies?

"How many of these would raise the rank enough for the more serious tasks?"

The question makes her giggle, and she pulls out even more offers with the same premise. Damn, that must be a lot of critters.

"About this entire stack, which might take a week."

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Selena pats the neat little column. Holy fuck, that's a lot.

"Still, I'm glad to see your eagerness. What changed your mind? You said you don't want to take risks, and only picked the easiest errands."

It's hard to believe she remembers our previous interaction.

She and Tank are crazy intelligent for being NPCs, compared to that Trader Girl who glitched out. Annelise, was it?

This system is full of surprises, and even more distractions. The Guild Woman waits for an answer though.

"It's a stupid dare."

Let's go with the same explanation Tank got before freezing up and getting lost in thoughts.

"Friends challenged me to pick the first class within three days. That'll take more than running mail delivery. Two days left, and I need to prove myself somehow." This warrants a laugh.

"That is quite ambitious a goal if you ask me."

She winks, leaning in closer after a short pause. Is she about to tell a secret?

"If these friends are nearby, you could tackle a dungeon. It's the fastest way to earn fame and fortune. The Guild recognizes such achievements."

"Right, but these guys only have big mouths, and won't help to win."

This is better than saying that the police handler is still in training, and currently pissed at me.

With NPCs behaving this lifelike, it's easy to get into roleplay in this game.

"Is it viable alone?"

"No, dear, don't even think about that." She's so theatrical, pulling her hand to her mouth, and then shaking her head.

"We don't give tasks to clear out dungeons to anyone below A-rank if they insist on doing it alone. And the mortality rate is high even among them."

Are they aware that we respawn? Well, it doesn't matter if dying before the tenth level means all the progress disappears.

Again, that's Plan Z at best. The most desperate attempt if nothing else works. There are more sane options and some different Jazz to try first.

"So you need to be A-rank to enter?"

This would be a problem if she wouldn't shake her head to correct me.

"You are free to enter if you find one, and the Guild will recognize your achievements if you bring proof. We won't hire you nor encourage such acts below A-rank though."

She explains and clarifies.

"The Guild won't reveal the dungeon's location for your safety either."

That much is fair, and they care more about the players than the feds do in the program.

The Wrodditors already shared a few locations, which reminds me of something.

According to them, the Guild sells sketches of the village and the entire country.

"How much would a detailed map set me back? I'm still new here and get lost often. Not to mention, I have no idea what's beyond this village."

Too much roleplay, or oversharing? It's a speech practice for me.

It's better to do it with her than with the Boss who'd beat me up.

"It depends on how detailed you want, and how large area interests you."

Selena puts away the huge stack of ratting quests and pulls out a few different drawings instead.

"There is a simple hand-drawn outline of Origin to give out for every rookie adventurer free."

When she says hand-drawn, she means it.

The thing looks like a bored two-year-old drew it on a scrap of parchment, and an adult wrote up the points of interest.

Still, if it's free, my religion forbids saying no. It's better than nothing, even if the other atlas are more serious.

"This is the country Eugidi, showing every village and trade route. It's on the expensive side with five gold." Five?! She said gold, right?

The inventory only holds twenty coppers, and she shows a print that would cost five thousand.

"The county's cost three coins."

"Yeah, forget it, it's way above my pay grade."

Let's steal a look at them while they're in front of me because I won't see them for a while.

The subwroddit had Origin's sketch only, and the similar posts were all deleted. This Eugidi is a small, land-locked country.

It lies in a basin surrounded by mountains, and the projection won't show what's beyond them. If there's a globe too, it must cost like a hundred gold.

It's better not to even think about it, - this village will decide the success of the fed's quest.

"The best way to explore the world is by taking guard jobs from merchants. The Adventurer's Guild will give you drawings like that free one in every settlement."

She offers with a smile, rolling up the large-scale atlas.

"It should be enough to get you started."

Right. Started. Damn it, I still haven't started on the task.

[Government Issued Quest: Reach Level 10 within 3 days. Importance: Utmost. Difficulty: Average. Progress: 4/10, Exp to next level: 113/800. (43/72 hours left).]