In a stern silence, the controller stares from the bedroll.

"Ugh, I know, a few more minutes." This run might end my sanity if there's anything left of it, but what difference does it make now? It's two past midnight, and I'm about to pull an all-nighter feeling all kinds of weird. "You'll be back on soon."

The third-party site for the market trends takes ages to load. Well, they refresh every price in real-time and no wonder if it's too much for that old thing to handle. It's a lot of data, the game has thousands of items and many big market hubs with their local pricing.

"Come on, there's a lot to do." It's useless to argue with this piece of junk. It won't budge even after closing most of the other tabs. What scripting could they use? Not that it matters, but I'm not ready to put that shit back on. Let's call it creative procrastination. "This is useful, I swear."

Fuck, a yawn almost breaks my cheekbone.

Why would the jaw crack at the age of fourteen? It's not like I'm tired. An hour ago, yes, when it was about mindless grinding, minutes away from the sure win. Things have turned one hundred and eighty degrees since then. That decapitating slash cut the sleepiness too.

"Why did they even need twenty guys to kill me?" It was a single strike. Although it's a dumb question, they murdered at least a hundred, I only happened to be there. Let's focus on the task at hand, whatever they took is gone for good anyway. "Come on, load, you piece of shit."

Feeling tired can wait, this rage could push me for a while.

If this fails, there will be all the time to sleep in the world. In the prison that is, where the Old Fox will send me. And, if for some miracle this plan works, it'll be all worth it. The later I start the worse the chances will get, yet these nerves can't keep up. Nor the old salvaged computer.

"Fuck, the SoniSung headset rendered it without an issue." The internet speed should be the same. This rig's about to explode, so let's give up on that, it's too late to make a shopping list anyway. Chug down the second can, take a leak, and rush that dungeon. "Whew, let's do this."

The headache's a little better thanks to the cig, but the hands shake.

The energy drink can't take the blame for this one yet, it's still about to snap open, and the previous one is long gone. It's more like the memory of how the character lost everything half an hour ago. Ugh, what if they do it again, right after logging in?

"Ah, it doesn't matter, there is nothing else to take." Whether it's items or the experience points, the avatar was on absolute zero, crying on the floor of the Guild. "Shit, and if it had a PVP timer, it might be still there. How am I supposed to look into Selena's eyes after this?"

It was naive to think I was over it, all the new info and the plans only distracted my mind for a bit. The doubts, anger, and anxiety come back at once even before reaching for the controller. All this brainpower is now looking for excuses and other things to do first.

If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.

"Argh, no pressure, I said have fun, not grind."

Let's face it, the chances are terrible, and I'll have to scrape the barrel to get even the cheapest gear together. There will be no funds for a second attempt if it's the wrong vault type. If getting killed because of another player's decision felt bad, leaving it all up to chance is even worse.

Well, playing by other people's rules was never my Jazz. There's no alternative, and the worst has already happened though. Except to lose, for the feds to show up at noon to take this crap away, and let's play one more round before that happens.

Haha, as if it was that easy, this brain can't turn off like that.

It's annoying that I can't even save money on buying the more advanced - and cheaper - fit. All that shit is behind level requirements. At least the other locked items won't cause issues since they're the most expensive ones. DragonS has plenty of them on his lists.

Players cry in the comments that his guide isn't for free users. That must mean others can't afford Premium either. How many of them ask this because of the crime prevention program? What other reason would you have to assault that vault with the cheapest gear?

Other than being a masochist, of course.

"Yeah, being poor sucks in the game too." Remember to set aside around two hundred coins for the Exp-boosts, as if there was any cash to spend from the start. The character has seven or eight gold in the stash, and thank God at least those remained. "Yep, it's impossible."

If I make it past the first quest through a miracle, the next goal should be to hoard a fortune. And now this; DragonS calculates with Taji Market prices, and Origin is way more expensive. Those articles are old too, so the total cost without the website is unpredictable.

He marked his economy guide outdated, so a lot has changed.

"Who knows how hard inflation hit in the system since that?" The PC does not, because it can't load the page even after many attempts and five minutes of refreshing. The built-in browser works much better. "Okay, fine. One more cig and I'll put you back on."

It's strange to even think about how I could be asleep already, with a victory under the belt. If that stupid massacre didn't happen, or the character didn't chase after that random guy. It makes no sense to think about it now, but it makes it difficult to calm down.

There's no reason to calm down if you think about it.

Once the drink goes down, it will last two hours at best. The only thing keeping me awake at that point will be the pressure and anger. The headset both pulls and repulses me, and it's hard to push through it. Come on, Arnim, there are no other alternatives, except giving up.

There's already a plan, it might even work, though it's unlikely. Fear won't help either way. A fresh guide might, but that attempt from DragonS with the starter character is the newest one. The PC refuses to open any new articles too, it's done for the night.

"Fuck it, let's do this." Once in the bed again, the controller turns on. After the usual greeting and the falling sensation, the avatar gasps as he comes to life in the Guild's Hall. It's almost empty, the only grey dot on the minimap is Selena, who hasn't noticed my return yet.

Let's hope she doesn't think less of me after that lame crying scene.

"Ah, you're awake." She looks concerned, and if she starts with this question, then yes, the player never left this place. It collapsed, weeping, then, for what all the NPCs care, fell asleep in the middle of the line. Yeah, this is embarrassing, no matter how you look at it.

"Sorry about that. It was a very long day, and all that madness outside..." Before finishing the sentence, she holds up a finger and smiles. Her grey lock comes loose, falling in front of her kind face as she reaches for my hand.

"Don't worry, I've seen worse." Whether her smile is genuine or not, it's the best thing to look at right now. "The most important is that you're back. You got this, even if I can't offer you anything."