It took GiDi a while to calm down once they all went into TO and DH’s room, their words coming out between tears in chaotic arrangements that made little sense. Still, they eventually calmed down, their low ears settling slightly as they sat sheepishly on one of the foldable chairs they found tucked under the table in the center of the room.
“You didn’t tell me that they wanted to talk to me.” TO said to DH, “How long were they-“
“All while you were sick.” Avery said before DH could answer. “And I understood that-“
“I was awful.” GiDi said with a soft sniffle, “The things I said to you.”
Avery took GiDi’s hand and gently squeezed their fingers. “But I don’t understand why they couldn’t speak to TO today.”
“I don’t understand why I couldn’t talk to GiDi while I was sick.” TO said as they turned to DH. DH’s ears were also rather low now, and as TO spoke a faint blush cross their ears.
“You were sick.” They said, “And I knew you probably wouldn’t be doing so well, being isolated away from us, and I just didn’t want anything to upset you more.” They sighed as their ears flicked back, dipping in sadness and shame. “I was trying to protect you.”
“And I told GiDi that it might not be a good time to talk to TO while they were sick.” Avery said, “I said basically the same thing. They’re sick, they’re isolated, and if you two talk this out, it’s probably going to be an emotional conversation-“
“Or GiDi would say more awful lies about TO.” DH said as their eyes narrowed, “And then TO would be upset, and I wouldn’t be able to be there with them!”
“I wouldn’t have done that!” GiDi said, though immediately as they said that, their ears dipped back again, flushing, “I mean, I know I did, but-“
“But nothing.” DH said, “The last couple of times you and TO ‘interacted’, it ended with me picking up the pieces.” They leaned forward in their chair, their hands tightly clasped before them on the table, “You blamed TO for Mark’s death.”
GiDi’s ears dropped once more, and they focused their eyes on their hands. “... I shouldn’t have done that.”
“No, you shouldn’t have.” DH said with pinned back ears. “It wasn’t fair, and it wasn’t true-“
“That’s debatable.” TO muttered. “Though I don’t know what else I could have done.”
A long moment of silence spread over the room, and after a bit, Avery nudged GiDi. Their small friend swallowed hard and kept deliberate, direct eye contact with their hands as they spoke. “I was upset.” They said.
“I am well aware.” DH said. It was clear that they were going to say more, but a quick look from Avery made them change their mind.
“I was upset. I had a plan, and it worked, and I was proud of it. For a few minutes, I was just very proud of it, and then TO started yelling at me.”
“And I shouldn’t have-“ TO began their apology anew, but Avery held up a hand to them as well.
“TO started yelling at me, and I was upset, and I just thought that it wasn’t fair. Yes, it was a risky plan, and people could have died, but nobody did! And TO pulls off risky plans all the time, and they don’t always work. Sometimes they fail, sometimes people get hurt.. and sometimes, people die. Like Mark.”
It was at this point that TO picked up on the practiced cadence of GiDi’s words, and it occurred to them that GiDi may have been practicing this with Avery, struggling to find the right words to say all this time.
“And afterwards, I was angry. I was still angry days later. I just wanted...” they sighed, “I told you what I wanted already.” They said, “I wanted you to be proud of me.”
“I am!” TO said.
“But you never said that before.” GiDi said, “And I was upset and I was mad, and I just thought about how your plans don’t always work and...” They stopped, closing their eyes as they took several long breaths. “I... lashed out.”
“Well, that’s a way to put it.” DH muttered.
“DH, like you’ve never messed up before.” Avery said.
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“I never said anything like-“
“DH, stop.” TO said, reaching out and scratching the back of DH’s neck for a moment, getting them to calm down and getting their ears to relax. After another few moments, they finally asked, “What changed?”
GiDi looked up, looking at TO for the first time, their eyes flicking to TO’s eyes and ears. “What?”
“What changed?” TO asked again. “You were mad. You lashed out. I thought you’d never speak to me again.”
A few more moments of silence passed before GiDi spoke again. “I thought you were going to die.”
“They weren’t going to die.” DH said, I stopped worrying about that as soon as their fever broke, but-“
“But nothing.” GiDi said, “We’re not supposed to get sick like this. We’re supposed to be vaccinated, and get regular upkeep. We haven’t been exposed to all this-“
“I Heard you were already sick once.” TO said, “Before we showed up.”
“Well, yes,” GiDi said, their ears flushing once again, “But that was different. I wasn’t quarantined, and I didn’t have a fever like you did. I just felt awful for a few days. I also wasn’t recovering from an amputation! There’s so much that could have gone wrong! You could have gotten some kind of severe chest infection that could have turned into pneumonia and killed you!”
“... Well, that’s a bit extreme.” Avery said, “Though, one civilian did pass from the cold.”
“Yes, they did.” DH said as their ears lowered, “But they were also very old, they were sick, and they had other complications.”
“And TO was injured, stressed, and recovering from a surgery! their immune system could have been shot, and-“
At this, DH gave a frustrated sigh, their ears pinning back as they looked at GiDi In disbelief. “I told you not to go reading up on this!” they said.
“But there was so much information on this, and -“
“And as I told you before, you’ll go, and you’ll read every single little thing that can go wrong, and you’ll obsess over that. You’ll find the worst situations with the least probability, and you’ll convince yourself that it’s going to happen, and panic.”
“You were worried too!”
“I know I was.” DH, “but unlike you, I wasn’t driving myself crazy with every little possibility.”
“Ok, that aside,” Avery said as they held a hand up before themself “Why couldn’t you let GiDi see TO last night?”
“Yeah! As soon as I was able, I got your room number and came right down here!” GiDi said, “But you said that now wasn’t the time. I asked if TO was ok, and you said yes, and you weren’t lying, so I figured that TO didn’t want to talk to me now!” They looked towards TO, not quite looking them in the face, “I mean, I wouldn’t have blamed you, but still...”
“I didn’t even know you showed up last night.” TO said, “DH just said it was something that could wait for morning.”
All eyes fell on DH, who remained silent for several long moments before sighing. “TO was happy last night.” They said as their ears flushed, “Their knee felt better, their cold is gone, and there’s nothing big hanging over us right now.” DH shrugged, “And I wanted to spend some time with them without something being wrong.” They looked to TO, their fingers lacing through TO’s. “We were comfortable last night. Happy. I didn’t want anything to ruin that.” They paused and looked away. “... Maybe I did that last night more for me than for you.”
GiDi cleared their throat. “... I just wanted to tell you what I did.” They said, slipping back into that practiced way of speaking, “That I’m sorry. That I was angry, and... and that even if I was right to be hurt or angry, I shouldn’t have treated you like I did.”
Practiced. As though GiDi had recited this a hundred times before. It was different from the way they used to talk in training, though, different from the carefully conditioned phrases they had implanted in their heads. From the way GiDi’s ears moved, TO could tell that they meant what they were saying, and the way they recited the words was probably more because they had practiced it over and over to make sure they said it right.
TO dipped their head, thinking for several long minutes, wishing they had considered how to say what they wanted to beforehand, wishing they had the same practice that GiDi obviously had.
“I used to just worry about you a lot.” They finally said, “I worried about DH too, but DH and I both worried about you.”
“It was a scary time.” DH muttered.
“And when you were taken away from the training center, I thought I’d never see you again. Later, I thought for sure you got captured by the insurgents or something. I thought maybe they were hurting you, torturing you for information!”
“Why would you think that?” GiDi said as their ears twitched in confusion.
“It’s a long story.” DH said.
“And then we found, and you were fine. You were more than fine. You found a mate, you ended up leading the whole insurgency on Arkane-“
GiDi’s ears flushed, “I wasn’t leading anything-“
“Shush, you were, and you know it. Anyone would know it,” TO said. “You went out of your way to save us, kept the insurgency going, organized the escape...” They looked up at GiDi as their ears perked up slightly, “And your plan to get Tham and the others out of the holding center worked. You tricked me, at any rate.”
“Well, that’s only because I knew from Pearla that you were going on a date-night kind of thing, so I figured-“
“That’s all part of planning.” TO said firmly, “You had your resources, and you used them.” They looked down again, “And... While I was terrified out of my mind when our ship and Kei’s started racing towards one another... It was a good plan. And it worked.”
GiDi glanced up at TO, their ears twitching, their blue-ringed eyes growing watery.
“I guess I was also ‘lashing out’ because I was scared back then.” TO admitted, borrowing GiDi’s own phrasing. “But I’ve always been proud of you. You’ve done things that I honestly don’t think I could have done. You’ve survived things I really don’t think I could have, and you did something I entirely failed to do.”
“What’s that?” GiDi asked, their voice breaking slightly.
“You kept our family together.”
It would take GiDi and TO another ten minutes to calm down enough that they could leave the room and find something to eat, but it was different now. This was a relief; a weight taken off of them, which had been almost unbearable.
They were ok; Their family was ok.”