TO was going through more news about Arkane. It had become harder to keep up on the news as there seemed to be so much going on! Every day it seemed like there were more attacks, and the news reported it all as the actions of the insurgency.
It would be easy to believe that the insurgency was ramping up for something, but there was something odd about the crimes being reported. TO expected grand crimes committed by the insurgency; industrial espionage, theft on a grand scale, and a slew of violent crimes… that wasn’t what they were seeing; There was theft, but it was on a smaller scale. While there were violent crimes, they were on a far smaller scale than expected. While TO could believe that the insurgency was stealing to fund their operation, they couldn’t understand why they’d be stealing things like fabric and food, or why they’d be robbing something like a drugstore - apparently a store for medical supplies- and cleaning it out.
Of course, TO didn’t know why civilians had to buy medical supplies at all; It seemed like something which government officials should provide; even synths had medical supplies given to them so long as they earned a high enough rank. Maybe before King Decon took over the civilians would have had them, but TO found it hard to believe that they’d have persisted afterwards; wouldn’t King Decon have made such a thing illegal? It made no sense.
They thought about GiDi, and how confused and baffled they had been at the Insurgency’s attack on King Decon. Had GiDi, in their obsessive research about the insurgency, experienced the same confusion as TO was now?
They were leaning forward, their chin resting on their propped up hand as they stared at the screen when suddenly they were spun around. DH stood before them, and before TO could say anything DH had pulled their own chair forward and sat down so that their back was facing TO. Their ears flicked down and flushed a deep blue.
“Do it.” they said, their voice shaking as they spoke.
“Do what?” TO asked as their ears quirked forward in confusion.
Somehow, DH’s ears burned brighter. “The ear thing you like me to do!” They said, “You wanted to rub my ears right?”
“Well… yes, but if you don’t want me to, it’s fine…” TO and DH had been taking it slow. Yes, DH wanted to be with them, wanted to be their mate, and had been more open to kissing them. TO and DH put the beds back together and things had returned to normal. DH was still hesitant about romantic affection beyond the odd kiss, but now…
“I know. I just… just do it.” they muttered, “If you want to. Maybe you don’t. I’m sorry, I -”
“No, no!” TO said hurriedly, “I do! I just want to make sure…” they reached up, and put their hands on DH’s shoulders, “You want me to rub your ears?”
DH nodded, “Yes, please.”
“Alright.”
They reached up for DH’s ears, but DH was so tense and so nervous that TO almost felt bad.
“Are... are you certain?”
“Yes.”
They were certain, and while TO was still nervous about doing it wrong, excitement overtook that feeling. They wondered how DH would react, and if they would make those odd squeaky chirping noises that TO sometimes made.
TO reached up and gently scratched the back of DH’s neck instead of their ears. DH stiffened up at the contact.
“I didn’t hurt you.. Did I?” TO asked.
“That’s not my ears.” DH muttered as their muscles relaxed.
“I know.” TO said, “But you like this, right? I’ve done it before… It calms you.”
“Yeah.” they said as they arched their neck to allow TO to scratch more of it. “... I wish I could be as at ease about all this as you.” they muttered. “I just.. “
“It’s fine. You don’t have to explain it. I mean, you can, but you don’t have to. Ok?”
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“I know.” They said, “I just... I just get nervous about it all. Like it’s wrong. Even though what you said makes sense.”
“That’s fine.” TO said again.
DH fell silent as they let TO scratch their neck. After a few moments passed and DH’s ears had relaxed, TO reached up and with the gentlest of touches they gave the lobe of DH’s ear a careful rub. DH stiffened, their ears tensing back and flushing. TO was about to stop, to make sure DH was ok, but before they could DH had leaned into the hand. It was low, but TO was certain they could hear a dull chirping from the back of their throat.
“Is this ok?” TO asked.
“Mm-hmm.” DH purred.
TO smiled, and continued; it was fine for them to go slowly; they were just glad that DH was alright with any of it. More than that, they were glad that despite being mates, despite telling them how they felt, they were still, and always would be, friends.
======
“Tomorrow’s Portal day.” DH said as they got ready for bed once the lights had dimmed.
TO was sitting on the bed, their blanket draped over their wings, which were wrapped around them. “Do you think it’ll be painful?” they asked, “I got a warning on my chip that said we should lie down when we go through it…” They sighed as they checked their communicator again; they had hoped that Avery had already gone through the portal. They had sent them a message early that day, but there had been no response.
It worried TO; If their calculations were correct, then Avery should have gone through the portal already and come out the other side; why hadn’t they responded yet? Even if TO’s calculations were wrong… What had happened? Why hadn’t Avery responded?
“Wouldn’t Ark-1 have told us?” DH asked. They frowned as they considered this and went over to the console. “I suppose we can always check it; it’s not as though that’s dangerous or confidential information.”
TO hadn’t even considered just looking it up. “That’s true; even civilians use portals for transport.”
DH turned on the console, did a quick search, and read. As they read, a frown developed over their face, their ears flicking back.
“DH?” TO said, getting up and taking a few steps forward, “Is it that bad?” They shivered as they wrapped the blanket around their naked body.
DH continued to read, then looked to TO with a gravely serious, solemn expression, “I understand very little of this.” DH said, their voice overly serious, “I am not a quantum engineer.”
TO laughed, “Neither am I!” They said, “But… does anyone talk about what it feels like?”
“Yes?” DH said, their ears quirking out with confusion. “But even that’s confusing. A few of them say it’s like time becomes a rubber band?” They shook their head “And they said that it feels odd, but afterwards it doesn’t matter?”
“They don’t talk about pain or anything, though?”
“No... no they talk about not being able to move, but not about any pain; I guess that’s why lay down; you don’t want to be stuck in an uncomfortable position.” They frowned as they looked back at the screen. “Still, I’d like to know how it works…”
“Maybe you’ll be a quantum engineer one day.” TO said as they went back to the bed. They checked their communicator again; still nothing from Avery. They looked through their old messages to them, wondering if they had missed something. They were so involved in looking through everything that they didn't notice DH had gotten up from the console and undressed until they sat on the mattress next to them.
“TO?” DH said, “What’s really wrong?”
“I haven’t heard from Avery; They said they’d send me a message after they went through the portal and tell me what it’s like.”
“Well… If they went though, maybe it’ll take longer to get messages? If it was successful then they’re probably on the other side of the galaxy now, so messages would take longer to come through, right? “
“Maybe.” TO said. Shouldn’t that be something they were told about? They considered asking Ark-1 about it, but then figured it might be a silly thing to bother them about.
DH touched the side of TO’s hand with their own, “So...” they grinned, “Me, a Quantum Engineer?”
TO stared at DH, perfectly quiet as they considered it, “Maybe?” they finally said, “I have no idea what it takes to become one, or if any of them are synths or not!”
“Well... the technology belongs to King Decon, doesn’t it?” DH asked, “So doesn’t it make sense that only synths can use His technology?”
“I don’t know.” TO said, their ears flicking down, “But.. but if you ended up being a quantum engineer, I don’t know if I’d ever see you again. You’d probably have to go away to work on faster portals, or working on stabilizing wormholes out in dead zones.”
“Maybe you’d come with me.” DH said, “Remember what Snout said about being sent away? About being sent out into dead zones as punishment? It doesn’t seem like it really would be… I mean, not if they sent me with you. Maybe we’d even find whole new planets out there.”
“We’d have to find stars for that.” TO said, “And that means finding a new solar system.”
“That’s possible, isn’t it?”
“Yes, but unlikely if we’re just being shot into an empty section of space to look for wormholes; that’s why we avoid dead zones; nothing’s tracked in them, nothing’s known about them, and it’s most likely that they contain nothing!”
DH sighed, “It’s still possible.” they muttered.
TO glanced at DH’s face, looked at their hands, and then took DH’s hand in theirs. DH’s ears flicked down, but before they could say anything TO leaned in and gave them a kiss - gentle and quick- on the cheek.
One day they’d kiss the ears, but not yet. They hadn’t even had their own ears kissed yet, but the idea of it made their ears quiver. They pulled DH down on the bed, wrapping their wings around them as they pulled them close and nuzzled into their chest. Not expecting to be pulled down like that, DH gave a little yelp, their ears flushing as TO pulled them close.
“It’s good to be able to do this.” TO said.
“I-it was... I mean, we did this before.”
“Not like this.” TO said. They stiffened up suddenly. “This is alright, right? You’re not uncomfortable.”
“No! No. Just, you surprised me!” They gently put their hands around the small of TO’s back, “That’s all.”
Somehow, it felt like they calmed down when they were this close to DH. They didn’t know if it had been like that before they started having feelings for them; when they had realized how they felt then, being close like this always held just a hint of anxiety in it. This feeling of serene calm that washed over them when they were in DH’s embrace was new to TO, but they loved it. No matter what they were worried about, their concerns seemed to fall away, fading into the background of their mind.
Tomorrow was portal day; they’d be fine so long as they were with DH.