TO and DH lay together against the pillar in the center of the weapons bay, watching the stars twinkling outside. It was so calming, and for the first time in so long TO wasn’t worried about anything. They were leaning against DH, their own wings wrapped around them as DH rested against their shoulder. Oddly, their lips still tingled a little from the last kiss and at first they wondered if they should leave to avoid the telltale twitching of their ears, but then they realized it didn’t matter.
DH knew. DH knew how they felt. TO wasn’t entirely sure if DH understood exactly how they felt sometimes, but they didn’t have to hide the movements of their ears anymore.
They didn’t have to hide how they felt.
“... Why did you ask me to come up here?” DH asked, breaking the comfortable silence between them. “Why not down in the living areas?”
“Oh.” TO said, their ears flushing as they recalled how carefully they had planned everything. “Well… I was planning to tell you earlier. I was planning to tell you the day we boarded the ship but...” Their fears about everything that could go wrong, and of the chance of driving DH away, filtered back to them. All those fears now seemed so unrealistic. “Well, clearly I didn’t.” Their ears flushed as they spoke, “But… but I had a plan! I was going to bring you here and get you to see… well.” They gestured to the glowing nebula in the distance. “This. Because…” Their ears burned, “It… it was dumb, I am -”
“TO.” DH said, their voice losing the calm tone it had held only moments before, “You’re not dumb, so please just tell me.” They huffed and looked away, “I feel like… if I had pushed you earlier… you’ve been acting so strange since we boarded this ship, specifically in the last few days! I said nothing because I… well, I thought maybe -” They shook their head, “This isn’t about me! What did you think was stupid?”
TO gave DH a hard look, one which took DH aback, and which made their ears sink down. “If I tell you why, will you continue what you were saying? What you thought?” They asked. If DH was going to get them to talk, then TO could very well do the same!.
“Fine.” DH muttered, “But you were talking first.”
TO gave a sigh, “Well… well, I wanted to tell you, and I remembered that in the shows that we watch, these things always happen in beautiful places! There’s always a waterfall, or fireworks, or starry skies! So, I thought first I’d wait until we couldn’t see the training center anymore, then I’d tell you. But then, I found this gem, so I thought that I’d give you that little gem.” They shook their head, “But.. well, I put it off. Nothing went the way I wanted it to.” They glanced about at the weapons room, “But I wanted at least one thing to go according to plan.” They shook their head again, their ears burning from the embarrassment of their own stupidity, “It’s dumb. I know.” they sighed and looked back to DH, “Sorry, I-” their words died in their mouth as they saw how DH was looking at them. Their eyes were wide, their ears down and flushed. They seemed happy, but also like they might cry.
“You.. you were trying to set up something like in the shows?” They said, their voice just more than a whisper, “You thought of doing that for me? And you… Well, you found this for me.” They unclasped their hand and looked at the gem that TO had given them. “You wanted to make it special for me.”
“Of course I did!” TO said, feeling their ears dip right down. Somehow, DH’s sudden admiration of them made TO feel embarrassed, and they didn’t know why. Still, it also gave their chest that swelling, fuzzy feeling. “I wanted you to be happy! I thought you’d like it.” DH stared at them with those wide eyes for a few minutes before TO looked away, blushing furiously, “It’s not that special!” they insisted, “What about you! What was it you thought was stupid?”
Finally, DH looked away, “Oh.. that.” They cleared their throat, “Well… I thought that maybe you had picked up on how I might feel..” They looked away, their ears flushed deeply blue, “I thought you were just being nice and ignoring it. Once you started acting really weird around me, I thought you were being odd because of that.”
How often had TO thought the same thing? How often had TO worried that DH was being odd around them because they noticed how they had been acting?
They sighed and pulled DH close to them. “GiDi was right.” They muttered softly into the top of DH’s head.
“What were they right about?”
They wouldn’t forget the day they tried to get Avery and GiDi to have some alone time together in the Observation Bay. GiDi’s words after they realized TO’s actual intention echoed in their ears even now. “They were right about us being idiots.”
This book's true home is on another platform. Check it out there for the real experience.
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When TO woke up the next morning, they woke up alone. They pushed themself up to a sitting position as they remembered the day before, their failed flirting, DH’s ears, and everything in the weapons room.
Had it really happened? After all this, had it really happened? All that worry, the hiding, the fear, it was all over… and DH really felt the same! It seemed almost unreal!
At any rate, where was DH? TO figured at first maybe they were in the shower, but they didn’t hear the now familiar sound of pouring water. They strained their ears, then heard typing.
TO got up and saw their freshly cleaned uniform folded and sitting neatly atop the crates for them. They smiled, dressed, then exited from behind the blanket. DH was sitting at their work desk, typing furiously. They glanced up at TO, smiled, then as their ears suddenly flushed and drooped down they looked back to their work.
“Good morning.” DH said, their words slow and deliberate.
“Good morning.” The response was slowly becoming automatic; it was so odd to have different greetings for different times of day.
TO passed the table and the food dispenser and went up to their own work desk. They pulled the chair out a little and sat down, looking at DH.
“You should eat.” DH said without looking up at TO.
“... Are you upset?” TO asked. “Yesterday… well, I thought you were happy about it.”
“I am! I am happy!” DH said. They stopped typing and glanced at TO, “I just… A lot happened yesterday, right?”
“It did… But.. It was good?”
“It was! I.. Well, I just didn’t think it would happen. I had given up a while ago-”
“Wait… given up?” TO frowned, “What do you mean you gave up?”
DH suddenly looked like they had wandered into a trap. They stammered a little, then turned back to their computer, “I gave up.” They said, “I... well, I’ve felt this way for you for a long time. And I figured you either knew and were ignoring it, or you just didn’t know, and if you didn’t know then that meant you weren’t interested.” Their ears dipped back, “That’s… that’s stupid isn’t it.”
“Wait… when was this? How did you think I’d pick up on it?”
“Well… I mean, GiDi knew. I figured if GiDi picked up on it then you would have! Then after a while you didn’t, and I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable... So I gave up, and now.” DH suddenly realized that they had been rambling, and looked away, “Well.. Now it’s all changed. It’s a lot.”
“Do you dislike it?” TO asked. Panic filled their stomach as they worried that DH would say yes, that they disliked it, and that they wanted to go back to the way it was.
“No! No, I don’t dislike it.”
TO gave a deep breath, “I’m glad.” They said with a smile. Still, DH looked so worried, and their ears were still down and flushed. They figured DH still worried about something. Still… they looked entirely endearing to TO. They leaned forward, hoping to kiss DH just on the cheek this time; something simple. That should be fine, even if DH seemed so flustered, right?
The sudden movement from TO caught DH’s eye. They turned to look and bumped their head against TO’s. It startled TO more than it hurt, but they yelped all the same as they put a hand to their forehead.
“Sorry!” DH said as they reached, took TO’s head in their hands, and looked over where they had hit their friend, “I just didn’t expect that.”
“I probably should have given you warning.” TO muttered as their ears burned, “I.. well, I’ve never done this before, right?” they gave a nervous laugh, expecting DH to follow along, laughing at the joke.
They didn’t.
It occurred to TO that DH had been a little less hesitant than they had been, and that their first kiss had gone smoother than even TO had expected; they had expected at least a moment of shifting and trying to figure out how to turn their head. That hadn’t happened.
“... Have you?” TO asked, their ears quirking up in curiosity. DH froze and turned back to the console
“Well, you seem like you’ll be fine.” They muttered.
“DH.. have you kissed anyone before?”
“Well, it meant nothing.” DH muttered as they tried to focus on their work.
“I’m honestly just curious!” They said, “And… and you could have told me! Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Would it matter? Does it matter?”
“No, but this means you AND GiDi had kissed another synth, and neither if you told me! I had to press you both!” They huffed, “GiDi wouldn’t even tell me who they kissed.” It occurred to TO that they had broken their promise to GiDi. It seemed almost like it didn’t matter as they’d probably never see GiDi again, but they still felt bad. They sighed and put a hand to their forehead, “GiDi even asked me not to tell you they kissed someone!”
“I’m sure it’s fine.” DH muttered as they focused on the screen before them.
“But you! Who did you kiss?”
“It… it really doesn’t matter. It meant nothing.”
“That’s fine, but I’m just… who was it?” There were limited synths that TO could think of DH having kissed... Unless it was from before they were friends? “Maybe... Maybe Q10 before you two had that fight?”
“NO!” DH said, their ears flicking right down, “No! It wasn’t Q10.”
TO frowned, biting their lip as they tried to think of who it was, “I’d almost guess Avery? But that’s who I thought GiDi kissed, and they said no. Besides that, Avery doesn’t feel romantically inclined to anyone…” They glanced at DH, “But of course, that would make sense, right? If it meant nothing.” They doubted it; they had a feeling that if DH had kissed Avery, then Avery would have mentioned something. Besides, Avery and DH had spent very little time alone as far as TO knew. “Maybe 59F45” DH had spent a little time with them when they were flying. “Though, they wanted to desperately to join the Vanguard, so I doubt that-”
“It wasn’t them!” DH insisted. They sighed and looked away, ‘Look, if I tell you who, do you promise never to bring it up again?”
TO wasn’t sure why they didn’t want it brought up again, but they wanted to know. “Of course!” they said.
“Fine.” DH turned back and took a deep breath, “I’ll tell you, but don’t laugh, and don’t bring it up again!”
“I promise.”