TO had little understanding of how the fungi drink would have affected them, especially given what they had already consumed. When an alert came on their communicator telling them they had exposed themself to something dangerous, they panicked. DH said that the drink was fine, but would it actually hurt them? Could it kill them?
The alert flashed red across the screen, a panic inducing warning that persisted until TO opened up the message.
=WARNING=
You have recently consumed the following;
Crisposcybe montansis- Spiral Mushrooms
Prunus euphoria- Bliss Berry
Ethyl alcohol- Alcohol
You have consumed a non-lethal dose.
Further consumption is not recommended.
Be aware that the effects of Crisposcybe montansis are enhanced by Prunus euphoria and Ethyl alcohol.
Be aware of the following effects;
-visual and auditory distortions
-impaired judgement
-impaired fine motor control
-impaired speech
-impaired comprehension
-Drowsiness
Recommended action; isolation, hydration, nutrition, rest.
Isolation wasn’t happening; DH was already watching them closely for any grave signs of diminishing health. So far, it just felt like the effects of the drink they had at the theater - Bliss Berry was the common name, they knew that now- was stronger now. Their thoughts were slippery and slow, and all they wanted to do was lie down.
A servAi came and spoke to DH before leading them away from the bar and towards a small hallway on the side. TO focused on walking down the hallway, following behind DH and watching the backs of their feet from the time they got up to the time they stopped before the door to the room. The ServAi passed a key to DH before scurrying back to work.
DH wasted no time in opening the door and getting TO inside. TO had no expectations of the room. They hadn’t even considered what it might look like, but it was much smaller than they expected a civilian room would be. It was only a little bigger than the sleeping area in their ship, but a large bed took up one whole side of the room. It looked very soft, very comfortable, had silk sheets, and many needless pillows. The deep red walls lacked decoration, but there was a screen on one end, a panel that dimly showed drinks and food that could be ordered, and right next to that was a small fridge door.
TO jumped as DH took their arm and led them to the bed, sitting them down on the very edge before turning and going to the fridge. A moment later, they came back with a bottle of chilled water for TO.
“The bartender said you should have some water.” They said, passing the bottle to TO. “So… here. Drink.”
The bottle felt colder than it should have, and TO had a hard time taking the top off. After a moment of fumbling, DH took it and opened it up before pressing it back into TO’s hand.
“Sorry.” TO mumbled before drinking. They intended to drink about half of it, but they found the water too cold for their mouth, so they stuck to taking tiny little sips and focusing too much on the water, warming up against their tongue before swallowing.
DH sighed, and sat down next to TO on the bed, with their hands in their lap.
“You shouldn’t have done that.” they said, their voice low. “But... you already know that.”
“I do.” TO said between sips, “Sorry.”
DH leaned forward, their elbows on their knees, their wings tightening around their shoulders. “Why did you even come here?” They said, “I didn’t tell you where I was going, you didn’t want me around-”
“I always want you around!” TO insisted, “Just… Just not just then. I was upset!”
DH nodded. “You know... I knew how it sounded after I said it. But I didn’t mean it that way.”
TO felt their ears dip down as they remembered GiDi, as they pictured them being taken away. The worry they felt when they downed that drink and when they got the alert had driven the near constant echoing of DH’s words out of their head temporarily, but it was back now and louder than before. “Well, it’s true.” TO muttered, their lips against the mouth of the water bottle, “It’s my fault.”
“It’s not!” DH insisted. “That’s not what I meant at all!”
“Then what did you mean?” TO whispered. Their throat felt hoarse, and they could already feel tears sliding down their cheeks. Damn; they had wanted to stay a little more composed than this, but apparently the combination of mind-altering substances they had taken made such a thing impossible. DH reached out as if they wanted to wipe away the tears, but stopped.
“I meant you couldn’t stop it from happening.” DH said as they looked away.
“... That is what I thought you meant.” TO said before taking another drink, “I don’t see how I could interpret it any other way.”
“I didn’t mean that it was your fault though!” DH said, “I just pointed it out. I mean… You couldn’t save GiDi. Q10 couldn’t save them, at least not inside the training center, anyway. I couldn’t do it. You couldn't do it.” They looked at the floor, “I don’t think anyone could.” They turned away, and rubbed at their eyes with the back of their hand, “We couldn’t keep them with us, and you really wanted that. If you really wanted it, and you couldn’t do it, it can’t be done. So… If we couldn’t keep GiDi with us, how can you think we can stay together?”
Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.
“That’s different!” TO insisted, “We know better! We finished our training! Synths get tested in training, and if you don’t pass, you get taken away. We passed!” They turned to DH, “We passed, and now all we have to do is work hard to become retirees!”
If they could become retirees. TO do that, they had to do this job perfectly. They remembered the cameras all around them. People talking. DH’s lips on their ears. If anyone had seen that, they wouldn’t get to retire at all! It would be surprising if they stayed on Arkane with DH after such a thing!
“... But clearly, you don’t care about that!.” TO said, their ears pinning back, the bottle in the hand crumpling slightly in their grip.
“I do!” DH’s ears sunk down, their eyes went wide, “I really do, but-”
“If anyone had seen that! If Ark-1 had seen it-”
“But they wouldn’t have!” DH insisted, “Not unless someone pointed it out to them. They have better things to do than watch the cultural news from Arkane, and even then, the chances that they caught us in the background are slim! I was careful. I checked and made sure no cameras were pointed right at us-”
“But are you entirely certain!” TO snapped, “If there’s any chance that they could have caught us - and there was!- we could mess everything up! All this work we’ve done, it could be for nothing and we could be separated-”
DH seized TO’s hand and held it in both of theirs. “That’s what I’m saying!” They said, “I… I think they will separate us. Just like with GiDi. I don’t think we can stop that.” It was only now that they were looking at DH directly that TO could see the tears in their mate’s eyes.
Any anger they might have felt melted to shame.
“I don’t think it matters.” DH said as they took a deep breath, “I don’t think it matters what we do, if we perform well or if we just spend all our time on dates here! No matter what we do, I don’t think we’ll end up being together afterwards.”
“But… C12-”
“Even C12 and flit got separated in the end.” DH said, “And it wasn’t even because they were together!” They shook their head and looked down as they brought their hands and TO’s up to their lips. They kissed TO’s fingers gently and looked at TO as tears ran over their cheeks. “It didn’t matter that they were together. It was something different, something entirely unrelated that had them separated in the end.” They closed their eyes, “All this work… I know it’s important. I know we have to do our best for King Decon, and I think you’re amazing for how hard you work… but I just don’t think it’s going to make a difference for us staying together. When we’re done, you’ll probably become a Trainer or an Overseer or even an Officer! I’ll probably go into programming or medicine-”
“But if we retire-”
“They’ll probably send us to different places.” DH said. “Retirees share their wisdom and experience, right? Maybe do extra training. Why would any center need two?”
Why would a center need two? It was a good question. TO didn’t know how many other centers had Retirees, but if they were so valued for their knowledge and skill, would higher ups allow a single center to have two?
What was the chance of them being together even if they both became Retirees?
“I just want to be with you.” DH said, their ears sinking down, their hands shaking, their wings tightening around them, “And I know I should want more than that. I know I should want to serve King Decon, to throw every waking moment into serving him like you do so often-”
“You do!” TO said, their ears flicking in panic. Sure, DH didn’t focus like TO did, but they still served King Decon just as well!
“-But I just want to spend time with you.” They said, “If this is the last time we have together, then I’d rather enjoy it than worry about being caught. I’d rather have a life with you, even if it’s only here, and only for a short time, then struggle all the time for the chance of maybe staying together for longer, especially when I just… I can’t see that happening.”
They couldn’t see it happening. Somehow, the idea of DH having this future in their mind, a future where they weren’t together was entirely too sad for TO.
DH pressed their forehead to TO’s hand, “If anyone could have kept GiDi with us, it would have been you. You couldn’t. Nobody could. It’s impossible, and the moment they were taken from us, I just knew that the same thing would happen to you one day. I knew I’d see you taken away from me, and I knew there was no way to stop it.”
A million arguments came to TO’s mind; a million ways they could ask to be kept together, a million ways they could convince a future officer that they work well together, even if they had to be in combat on some dangerous planet.
No, they wouldn’t go into combat, TO knew that. They had both performed too well in training, and those who went into combat were average synths at best. No, they would take on specialized roles and that meant they’d be separated since their skills were in entirely different things! TO had gotten special training as an officer, and DH showed skills in medical work and programming.
TO felt dizzy, their head swayed, and over the course of the conversation the room had seemed like it was oddly twisting, like the walls were moving but not moving at the same time. They leaned forward, slumping into DH and falling into their lap.
“TO! Are you ok?” DH put their hand to TO’s neck, feeling for the familiar vibration of their heartbeat.
“M’fine.” TO whispered. They had wanted to hold DH or be held by them, they weren’t sure which, but all they could do was slump against them. They didn’t even notice the water bottle fall from their hand and spill on the floor.
“You’re not.” DH whispered before gently scratching the back of TO’s neck, then froze. “... Is it ok if I still do this?” They asked.
“Yeah.” TO whispered, “Why not?”
DH went back to scratching the back of TO’s neck. “Back there, I was angry…” They whispered, “I am trying, you know, with...” They gently let their hand touch TOs’ ear, causing TO to shiver gently, “With all this. I want this! I do! And most of the time, knowing that I'm going to be taken from you makes me push myself more. I thought you’d appreciate me kissing your ears back there, and when you just pulled away, it just felt like I was trying for nothing!”
“I’m sorry.” TO whispered.
“No, I’m sorry. I should have known better. I should have asked if I could.” Their hand stilled on TO’s neck. “I know this is all the drugs right now. I know you probably hate me-”
“Never.”
“You should though! I made you uncomfortable. I kissed your ears in front of people when you didn't want that! You should hate me!”
“Well.. I don’t.” TO said, “Sorry.”
A ragged laugh from DH turned into a held back sob. “You’re apologizing for not hating me.” DH said. “That’s insanity…” They trailed off, and just focused on scratching the back of TO’s neck, “I never want to upset you again. As long as we’re together, for as long as that is… I never want to upset you again.” Another bitter laugh came from their mate, “But Miss Melissa said that couples, even great couples, always have fights from time to time. Maybe we can go at least the rest of the time here without it.”
TO cuddled into DH’s lap, an arm wrapping around DH’s waist, their wings limp at their back and draping over them. Their head felt like it was spinning about, but it wasn’t uncomfortable, though it made it difficult to consider what DH had said; how they felt certain they couldn’t stay together. DH was right, and in this state at least no reasoning from TO could contradict them.
“Let’s run away.” TO said. It was the first words on their lips, the same words that had been flickering through their head for the last several days, intrusive and terrifying. They stiffened, worried that such a base and civilian thought would disgust DH.
It didn’t.
DH just gave a heavy sigh as they continued to scratch the back of TO’s neck.
“If only we could. What’s a synth outside of King Decon’s service? Nothing. Worse than nothing; it’s a drain, a disease.”
Oddly, the words, “If only we could,” provided such a balm for TO’s anxieties over their thoughts that the rest of what DH said didn’t bother them at all.