TO and DH talked as they walked to the area where all the civilians were staying. Mostly, it was TO talking and DH asking the odd question or occasionally asking TO to repeat some of the Chilacian words they had never heard before. Having not heard these words spoken aloud, TO made their best guess how to pronounce but they were unsure about some of the inhalations. Synth speak, or Chilacian, had many sounds where the words required either inhaling, exhaling, or doing both simultaneously which was only possible thanks to their more cyclical respiratory system and the posterior lung. There were also certain movements of the ears, and particular clicks that were made deep in the back of a Chilacian throat.
Well, in the end it didn’t matter. The important information they had to get across to DH had nothing to do with mates or Enkavma or anything like that, thankfully. It had to do with that bond, Agel, how it formed, and the Shatter-Sickness that a Chilacian could suffer when that bond broke. They were still explaining it when they reached their destination, and so they lingered outside to finish their conversation in private.
When TO finished telling them everything, DH gave a heavy sigh and leaned against the wall, their arms crossed and their wings draped over their shoulders. Their ears twitched with worry as they frowned.
“... so you think Avery did this… bonding thing with Kei?” They asked. “Agel?”
“unintentionally, and just by the misfortune of being stuck with them alone in that ship and during their placement.” TO said, “I don’t think the bond is permanent, but still… Apparently when it breaks suddenly it’s hard on the Ankyra. Shatter-Sickness.”
“Is that because it shattered the family, or shattered the Ankyra?” DH asked.
“I don’t know.” TO said. “Either way…”
“Either way, we know little about it and we don’t really know how to treat it.” DH finished TO’s thought, cutting right to the biggest and most worrisome problem.
“The file said that if your Ankyra is suffering from Shatter-Sickness, then you should spend more time with them…” TO chewed on their lower lip, “But it also said if it doesn’t lift they need to see a healer.”
“Did it say anything else?” DH asked, “What specifically causes it?”
“Well, when someone leaves the family-”
“No no, I mean, what about that causes the sickness?” DH asked, “Hormones? Depression?”
“The file didn’t say.” TO said with a frown, “Honestly, it’s…” Their ears flicked back, “It’s simply written, and it’s not gone into a lot of details yet. I’ve not found any complex scientific explanations.”
DH shrugged, their ears coloring as they looked away, “Well… I suppose that makes some sense.” They said, “It’s a file from a Chilacian society written to teach other Chilacians about… Biology.” they focused intently on a place further down the hallway, “So it makes sense that they would write it for juveniles, right? Youths who are about to enter -” They frowned, “Is there a specific word for Chilacian puberty?”
“Not that I’ve come across.” TO muttered, their own ears coloring. “Wait.. You think this is a file for children? Why?”
DH cleared their throat as their eyes flicked to the floor, “... I might have looked up civilian books which might be similar.” DH muttered. “We lack materials, I told you that. So… I made do.”
“... You read civilian books on reproduction.” TO was too shocked to be delicate.
“The less open species just call them Personal Development books.” they snorted, their ears lifting and the color seeping away slightly as they looked to TO, “But... Honestly, We’re bad with this, but some species are even worse! Some species and cultures wrote these files with so much allusion and innuendo and suggestion that I couldn’t find a solid piece of actual information in them. Some were just books about flowers!” they huffed, “But… Yes. They wrote most of them for younger members of the species. Some even seem like they’re written for children.”
“… Why would they give us a file for children?” TO snapped as their own flushed ears pinned back. It was less out of embarrassment now though, there was a certain indigence in them at being told to study a file designed for children
“That’s probably all they have.” DH said, “Books written for different species lack practical information, and a someone writing a practical book for their own species would direct it to the age range where it would be most useful. I suppose that’s going to be just before they begin their adult development.”
TO huffed, “Which means the more direct, scientific knowledge we might need to know about this shatter-sickness is going to be entirely absent from the file.” TO pinched the space between their eyes. Now that they thought about it, it made sense. The book seemed to talk to them as though their parents were there, and didn’t say a thing about the reader's mate. Even when the file mentioned Shatter-sickness, it said that the parents, the Yonis, might take their Ankyra to a healer.
They must have been half asleep not to realized that right away.
“We need to talk to Snout about it.” DH said after thinking in silence for several minutes. “Maybe they sent them more scientific documents. They did request it, didn’t they?”
“Yes…” TO said, “And if they don’t have the documents, maybe they can send off a request for information.” Their ears dropped, “... if it’s safe to do so, that is.”
“Yeah, I think the signals are being monitored, so it might be risky. Even Vik was anxious about sending anything off the planet.” As soon as DH finished their thought, they seemed to look far away into the distance one more time, but this time their ears had dipped back down. TO didn’t need to ask what was wrong, they knew.
“I’ll send a message to Snout.” TO said as they put their hand on DH’s arm and led them to the door, “Hopefully they’ll have something-”
“I can do it.” DH said, “You already have a lot to do-”
TO shook their head, “So do you, I’m sure.” They said, “You have a lot of medical stuff to do. Me? Apparently coordinating people, supplies, and information is my job today. So, this falls under my responsibilities.”
DH nodded and turned to enter the room. Just as their hand grasped the doorknob, TO stepped forward and put their hand over DHs, sliding their fingers between their mates. DH stopped and turned as TO pressed their snout against the side of DH’s face, nuzzling them gently.
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“I’m sorry.” They whispered.
“You did nothing.”
“I know. But I'm sorry about Vik.” They stopped, nuzzled DH once more, then kissed them quickly on the lips before letting go. While they knew that couldn’t make the problem go away, couldn’t chase away DH’s sadness, the sudden unexpected display of affection seemed to lift their ears a little, and draw the smallest of smiles to the corners of their blue lips.
“Thanks.” They said. DH took a deep breath followed by a ragged exhale before turning to the door, “Well… best to get to work then, right?” They gave a shallow chuckle, “Can’t just be sad the whole day.”
Maybe DH was just as eager to get to work as TO was, so they could have something else to occupy their mind.
“Alright.” TO nodded, “Let’s go.”
======
The civilian room was quieter than it should have been. Last time TO was here, children had been running around playing, with their parents calling after them. TO thought that with more people there there would be more noise. However, that was clearly not the case. It occurred to TO that anyone who was able-bodied was probably working to clear away the rest of the dirt that separated their ship from the tunnels. This left the room filled only with those too sick, injured, aged, frail, or young to work. Many people sat silently, staring at the children or the walls, or at nothing at all. A few were laying in bed with thin blankets over their heads.
The children were another story altogether. Seemingly unconcerned with their location, or the danger that loomed before them, they played with broken cocopod shells which they had saved from their meals.
“They’re creative.” DH said as they saw TO’s gaze land on a small group of children nearby, working hard to put the broken pieces of one cocopod segment back together using a fine, unknown powder and small quantities of water. “They’ll play with anything. I gave them the old wrappers of some bandages I’ve used, and they’ve folded them up, making boats and birds and all kinds of things.”
“And everyone else?” TO kept their voice low as they looked about, taking in the broken expressions of the adults in the room.
“Well... They’re worried. I don’t think most of the kids understand how big what we’re doing is, not yet. Some of them are excited to go into space…” They lowered their voice. “As well... most of the adults have lost at least one person who’s close to them. The kids have too, but their parents haven’t told them yet.”
“Why not?”
“Trying to protect them I suppose.” DH said, “Make sure they’re safe before telling them the bad news. Or maybe they just can’t tell them yet.” They adjusted the strap of their medkit on their shoulder, “Some of them can hardly talk without crying, so I don’t think they could tell their kids what’s happening.”
A sudden flurry of movement caught TO’s eye, and as they turned to look they saw Lendulin and Petra heading towards them. Petra was pushing Lendulin in a wheelchair which wasn’t nearly big enough for her long gray tail. TO wished that they could have gotten the electric wheelchair for her from her place in the tunnels. Maybe it was still there. Maybe they could ask someone about retrieving it.
They realized they were the one sending out the orders today. If they wanted to ask someone to fetch the chair, they could.
“You go on with them.” DH said as they gave TO’s arm a squeeze, “I have to find Goretta and get to work, and I promise you don’t want to be around me when I do.” They nodded towards their two friends, “Besides, maybe they can help you with your work.”
“I’m happy they’re here…” TO said, frowning, “But I figured they’d be at the tunnel, digging.”
“They’re two of very few people who seem to cope with this alright.” DH said, their voice lowering, “They’ve been a lot of help around here with all the kids.”
TO nodded, pressed their head to DH’s quickly for a brief nuzzle, then released their mate. “I’ll see you later.” TO said, “For lunch with Avery.”
DH grinned as they walked away, “As the civilians say, see you after work.” They chuckled as they made their way through the narrow walkways around the beds, looking for Goretta.
“TO!” Petra’s voice was for a moment the loudest thing in the room, fueled by excitement more than anything else. Despite this, despite the way her tail flicked happily behind her and the way her large reptilian eyes widened, she still jabbed a fist at TO’s arm once she got close.
“Ass.” Petra said with anger so fake that even TO could tell despite her lack of emotive ears. “We haven’t seen you in days. We were worried.”
“I was busy.” TO say, dipping their head as their ears sunk.
“She knows that.” Lendulin said, “We’ve just been worried about you. We know you’re busy, and DH told us you were safe, but we’ve not seen you or those other synths. Uh…” She paused, “The two older ones?”
“Flit and Snout.” TO said, “They’re fine. They’re busy too.”
“Yeah, and GiDi.” Petra said, smirking, “Pearla’s secret partner.” She shook her head, “I still can’t get over that. I mean, GiDi is nice and all, but we thought she was running around with some legged rich person. If you told us she was dating a synth…” She paused as she looked at TO, the smile disappearing from her face, “Oh no.” She said, her voice becoming a whisper, “What happened.”
“W-what do you mean?” TO asked as panic sent ice to their stomach. They had said nothing, and had done their best not to make any facial expressions or any noises when Petra mentioned GiDi.
“When your ears go down like that, it normally means something’s wrong.” Lendulin said with a frown. “I mean… Unless we’re wrong?”
TO wasn’t sure if she was giving them a way to escape any questioning, or if Lendulin thought she and Petra had guessed wrong. They were about to deny that anything was wrong, and say perhaps that they were just tired or busy, when they realized something.
Despite everything, Lendulin and Petra considered themself TO’s friends. Even when Lendulin found out about them being a synth, she was angry but still didn’t seem like she hated TO, or even disliked them.
They were friends. More importantly, they were friends who wouldn’t be hurt by GiDi’s recent actions.
TO hesitated only a moment more, considering the wisdom of keeping a secret to as few people as possible. Finally, they shook their head as they hugged their arms, their wings tightening around them.
“... You’re not.” They finally said, “Is there somewhere private where we can talk?”