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Synth
Episode 318: Ankyra

Episode 318: Ankyra

With their cloaks on it was difficult to tell that the four of them were synths. Their wings, once draped over their shoulders, were difficult to see, and in TO’s opinion they looked just too odd with their ears hidden under a cap. Their faces felt too small and somehow distorted, and their eyes seemed suddenly too big without their ears showing. Being able to see the faces of the others without being able to see their ears was unnerving. The cap pressing on their ears was also exceedingly uncomfortable.

“Well, it works.” Tham said as he observed the four, “If I saw you in a crowd, I wouldn’t assume you were synths.”

“Good.” TO grumbled as they took their cap off, “I’ll keep this off until we get out; it hurts my ears.

“Fine.” Tham said as he gently scratched at his chin under the fake beard, “But keep your cloak on; especially you, TO. Your wings got those giant scars on them and if anyone saw those, they’d probably figure out that you were the one who took down the special officers in the tunnels. They’re pretty big scars, and they were clear on the video. How did you get them, anyway?”

“Space is really dangerous.” TO muttered, but their mind refused to focus on Tham’s question. Yes, if someone saw their wings, they could easily recognize TO as the person in the video. Why did that concern them so much?

“Stories for later.” Vik said, never taking their eyes from their computer screen, “We don't have a lot of time, right?”

“Right… we’re ready to go then?” DH asked as they took off their own cap. A moment later Avery removed theirs as well, but Kei kept theirs on.

“Almost.” Vik said, “I have bags of extra stuff in a storage room down the hall. That’s what you’ll be using to trade for supplies, so if you want to get ‘em-”

“I’ll go.” TO said, their ears perking up at what they saw to be an opportunity. They headed towards the door, grabbing Avery by the arm as they went, “Come on, you help me.”

“Me? Why not DH?”

TO paused and suddenly came up with an excellent reason DH shouldn’t go with them. They turned around. “DH, grab your med kit; just in case.”

“That’s a good idea, actually.” Tham said.

“Good. We’ll be right back.” TO said as they left the room, only just hearing Vik say that they’d send them the directions to the specific storage room.

“Ok.” Avery said once they were in the hallway and the door closed behind them. “What is it?”

“What do you mean?” TO asked, their ears twitching as they glanced at the directions Vik sent them. “I need some help getting the supplies-”

“And your ears perked right up as soon as Vik said they needed someone to get them. Also, You’d never give up a chance to spend more time with DH.” They sighed, their ears dipping, “I’m guessing this is about Kei.”

“No! Well.” TO’s own ears dipped. They had planned to start the conversation subtly. While they didn’t think they could really converse about the more technical aspects of Enkavma as Snout had, they could at least bring up the whole thing about romantic love coming from friendship.

Apparently, Avery would not allow subtly today.

“Look, I know this probably isn’t the best idea.” Avery admitted as they glanced back. “They’re still… odd. I guess it’s a lot for them. They’re probably scared though, right?” They glanced at TO, “I mean, Imagine if everything you felt suddenly got amplified, or if you suddenly started feeling things you never felt before!”

“Yeah, about that-”

“I just don't want them to be in isolation.” Avery said, “Even before they had the procedure done, before they were locked alone in that room, they hated being alone. Remember back on your ship when they were always around and looking for you to give them stuff to do? That’s always been there! It must be so much worse now, and I don’t want them to suffer! And if they’re willing to help the insurgency just to get out of that little recovery room and avoid their old holding room, well-”

“It’s not about that…” TO said as a low heat bloomed in their ears. “I mean, I don’t think they should go with us, yes, but…” They sighed, “There are too many arguments for it.”

Avery’s shoulders relaxed, their ears flexed back up to a more neutral position. “Ok… ok.” They said, “I’m going to watch them regardless.”

“Good… that’s good.” TO frowned as they wondered how to move the conversation to where they wanted it to be.

“So, what’s this about then?” Avery asked as they came to a split in the hallway. TO checked their communicator and followed the path towards the proper storage room.

“Would you say you and Kei are friends?” TO finally asked.

“... I’d like that.” Avery said, “They never really disliked me but they never really considered me a friend, I think. Not like you and DH do.”

“Ri-ight.” TO said, drawing out the word, “But do you think that’ll be different now that they’ve had their mind restored?”

Avery gave a deep sigh. “I hope so.” They said. They turned to TO and gave them a serious look, “More importantly, once they settle down more, do you think you could consider them a friend?”

Their question took TO aback, and they wished they had taken more time to respond, more time to at least pretend to think about it before they snapped out their quick and too-firm, “No.”

“Oh…” Avery’s ears dipped once more.

“They’ve done too much.” TO said, “Do you know how much trouble they gave DH back when we were in training? Any friend that DH might have made, they went to them and warned them away from DH. they even told me that DH was dangerous, that I might get corrected if I spent too much time with them-”

“I know, but-”

“And they were absolutely awful to GiDi.” TO continued, “They kept saying all the time that GiDi would get corrected. Then there was the thing back on the ship, and then they reported us to Ark-1!” Their ears pinned back sharply, “They almost separated DH and I!”

“All before their mind was restored…” Avery said, “Was it really their fault?”

“Well, they haven’t apologized for anything.” TO huffed, “So I imagine they don’t feel bad about it at all.”

“Fine, fine.” Avery said, “Why did you bring it up then?”

Oh right. That. Their ears dipped once more. “Look.” They said, “I, I mean, DH and I had a talk with Snout yesterday.”

“About Kei?”

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“N-no.” TO muttered, “About… Other stuff. About Chilacians.”

“Ah.” Avery’s ears relaxed, and even perked up and twitched as their lips curled up in a slight smirk, “Do tell.”

“Well…” This was harder to do than they thought it was. They checked their map without really looking at it and continued on down the hall. “About how… romantic feelings can form?” They glanced at Avery, “You know, between…. Chilacians?”

“Between us, yes, I see.” Avery said, a mock seriousness ebbing from the movements of their ears, “Very important stuff.”

“Yes. well.” TO glanced about, checked their map again just so they had something else to look at, “Well. I know you said that you don’t feel any… anything like DH and I feel, right?”

“That is correct.” Avery said, nodding, “I don’t feel romantically inclined towards anyone.”

“Well... in this conversation that we had with Snout,we were talking about that kind of stuff. You know, uh. Romantic feelings, and stuff like that, and how they form and how they work, and -”

Avery finally sighed, “TO, as amusing as this is… I’m going to stop you.”

TO froze in their tracks, “What?”

Avery put a hand on TO’s shoulder, their ears lowered in sympathy, “TO, you’re my friend, and I care about you… but you’re horrible at talking about reproduction and sexuality. Leave that to Snout.” TO’s ears burned deep blue as they stared at Avery in confusion. Avery let TO stand there, staring with their mouth opened before they finally said, “Snout already talked to me.”

“They did?” TO’s ears flicked back as the color lessened, “About-”

“Reproduction, Enkavma, all that.” They said, “Probably because they were planning to talk to you and DH, and figured they might as well cover all their bases. With Kei getting their mind fixed, I’m guessing they were probably concerned that we’d become friends, and that friendship would do exactly what yours and DH’s did, and they’d have to have that talk to me, eventually.”

“Oh.” Was all TO could say.

“And after talking to me for exactly five minutes, they realized they didn’t need to worry about that issue.” Avery paused, ears flicking as they contemplated, “Or at least, they’re pretty sure. They got me to read that file.” They looked to TO, “They sent that to you too, right?”

“They did.” To said, “I didn’t have time to read it yet-”

“Well, you should.” Avery said, “There’s an entire section in there that fits me perfectly.”

How was Avery so calm about this? Even with TO’s indomitable curiosity it had still been hard to talk about everything! They pulled up the directions again, eyes glazing over the directions as they asked, “And… what is it?”

“Ankyra.” Avery said. “And while Flit and Snout didn’t have all that much information on how Chilacian families groups work, or the specific dynamics in them, the file discussed the Ankyra briefly.” Their ears raised, twitching in amusement as a thin smile crossed their lips, “From what I read, they’re the only members of most home groups that have their wits about them full time since they don’t experience Enkavma, so they’re considered essential parts of every family group.” They paused, their ears perking up, “Oh, speaking of family groups, did you know that they’re not based entirely on blood relations? They consider emotional bonds more important than biological ones, so most will just go out and find people to be in their family!”

TO stopped walking, “Wait, back up.” They looked at Avery. “You… you don’t?” Their ears dropped, “You won’t feel like I feel for DH? Not ever?” While this was all difficult to talk about, they couldn’t help but feel bad for Avery, “So… you’ll never-”

“I won’t feel the same romantic feelings you do.” They said. “I can’t, apparently.” They stopped and leaned against the wall. “I mean, I’ll read about it, and I enjoy watching you and DH stumble around each other, but no, I won’t feel that way myself.”

“I’m sorry-”

“Why?” Avery’s ear flicked out in slight curiosity, “I don’t want to experience any of that. I have no interest. It’d be like a fish telling you they’re sorry you’ll never lay eggs.” they gave another smirk as their ears twitched, “Apparently, Ankyra are important because the rest of you get so distracted and thrown by the hormones flooding your brains that you need someone around to keep things together. There’s often at least one in each family group. They keep things together when you all get so distracted and flustered that you can’t function.”

TO’s ears pinned back, “I don’t get like that!” They said, “I can manage just fine, regardless of what’s going on between me and DH!”

“Well, I remember things being hard for you when you were on that ship with DH, trying to tell them how you felt. Also, if it weren’t for me, you probably would have kept from telling them for even longer.”

“That’s not true!” TO snapped, but even as the words escaped their mouth their ears twitched as they realized that was a lie, “Well… that’s different anyway!” they checked the directions on their communicator again, ignoring Avery’s low chuckle. “I didn’t know how DH would react.”

“And if you weren't so caught up in worry over how you felt, you would have seen that even if they didn’t feel the same, they’d never have done anything to hurt you.” They shook their head, that annoying grin still on their face, “But even putting that aside; Right now, GiDi and Pearla are out of action, and can’t really help with stuff. But, I’m here to help, right? I can pick up the slack because I’ll never go through that!”

“OK, but that’s hardly their fault.” TO said. “That doesn't mean they can’t think straight about this stuff! And sure, maybe when that-” Their ears flushed, “Enkavma stuff happens, it’s an inconvenience, but that still doesn’t mean we can’t think straight.”

“I have one more piece of evidence to prove that point.” Avery said, “To prove that you all need an Ankyra in your lives to keep things going smoothly.”

“And what’s that!?” TO snapped.

Avery looked at TO for a long minute with that smirk on their face before talking. “Here is my winning piece of evidence.” They said, “You’ve checked the map on your communicator four, maybe five times since we left the common room, right?”

“Maybe? Yes?” TO hadn't really paid attention to how often they checked the directions.

“And because you’re so flustered right now, you did Three checks after we had already passed the storage room and never even noticed..”

TO didn’t understand at first, their ears flicked out in confusion, then flicked down in panic as they checked their map once more. Sure enough, according to the map the storage room was back down by the first split in the hallway. They had, in fact, checked the map three times since passing it and never once noticed; at least not until Avery pointed it out.

Avery snickered, and then turned back and led the way back down the way they came, “Come on.” Avery said, “Let your Ankyra lead the way; you’re clearly too distracted by all these other matters.”

Several retorts died on TO’s tongue before they sighed and fell in line behind Avery with their ears drooped and their wings tight around their arms.