TO and DH hurried away from Flit and Snout’s room in silence, their hurried pace never slowing until they had turned two corners and were at least halfway to their own room. When they finally slowed down, DH pulled up their own chip to check their messages.
“I’m just checking to see if Goretta needs help.” They muttered. “You know… medical stuff.”
“Right.” TO said. If DH was looking to pretend that conversation didn’t happen, then so was TO. Mostly. Now that they were away from the room and out of the conversation they found they did actually have other questions. Mostly, they wanted to know how DH felt about all that, how they felt about the probability–well, the certainty according to Snout–of that happening to them. They had seemed plenty willing to just skip the whole thing earlier.
Other questions were, of course, technical, but they didn’t want to go back and ask now! They’d have to go back on their own later, perhaps.
Wait, no! They wouldn’t! They checked their own chip for the message that Snout said they’d be sending. It was there; they supposed they had just ignored it as they hurried away from the room. They opened it briefly just to see how big the file was, but saw that there was a message included with the file.
==I failed to mention an important thing. Being around a Chilacian before and during Enkavma can trigger a surge of hormones in other Chilacians. It won’t activate Enkavma in others though, but it can have an effect. It’s best to keep this in mind if you’re around GiDi. I strongly recommend giving them space for a few days. - Snout==
They stopped mid-stride. The day they left the underground to head to the indebted center, they had run to talk to GiDi about Kei, and about ending their isolation. They thought they would just have a quick chat in GiDi’s room, but it quickly became abundantly clear as GiDi answered the door disheveled, wearing a housecoat that clearly wasn’t theirs, and told them that no, they couldn’t come in because Pearla was there. DH had been the one to understand the situation faster than TO then. TO remembered very well DH’s gentle teasing about how clueless TO had been…
And then they remember how, moments after they had spoken to GiDi, DH had pulled them into an embrace. They remembered DH’s hand on their neck, moving to their ear to gently stroke at the sensitive edge before moving to kiss TO.
They strained to remember much else. They recalled the places their mind went, the hope that DH would push them against the wall and shower them with kisses, and how they stood, dumbfounded once DH pulled away.
Had that all resulted from being around GiDi for less than a minute as this Enkavma approached?
Another memory struck them; one of the Snout running towards them just after the incident with Kei. The normally well put together synth had been strangely disheveled, and the moment they realized that there wasn’t any immediate danger they had slumped to the floor, exhausted.
“I was running on adrenaline and about three hours of sleep.”
Then, of course, Snout and Flit were strangely absent from their meeting with the others afterwards once Pholi returned, and told them about meeting Gyrini. Was that all because of this?
More importantly, that wonderful moment when DH grabbed them, stroked their ears, and kissed them so softly; was that just because of this Enkavma thing? Would DH not have done that if it weren’t for this apparent side effect of being around Chilacians at that stage?
“You got a message too?”
DH’s voice dragged TO from their thoughts, and as they looked up, they saw DH reading the same message.
“Apparently…” TO said.
DH cleared their throat and closed their messages, “Best to avoid GiDi for now then.” They muttered. Then with their ears down and slightly tinged with blue they added, “And.. it might be best to find out when Flit and Snout do this… thing. You know, so we can avoid them.”
“If you want.” TO muttered as their ears pinned back. Of course they’d want to avoid them, so they wouldn’t risk another random expression of affection. Maybe next time they’d be in a private place.
DH glanced up at them, caught the movement of their ears, and frowned, their own ears pinning back as well. “What?” they asked.
Immediate guilt rushed through TO. “... It’s stupid, sorry.” They muttered.
“It’s not.” DH said, “TO, we’ve been through this before; what is it?”
TO glanced aside, their ears heating once more. “It’s just… I take it you don’t want to go through that whole… thing.”
“I’m not sure we’ll have much choice.” DH muttered, “Not from what-”
“Choice or no, you don’t want to, right?” TO said.
“And you do?” DH asked, “Days of…” Their ears flicked back down, “Of just constant… sex?” They looked away. “And those changes.. That diagram.”
“It’s not just that.” TO said, suddenly wishing they had kept their mouth shut until they had gotten to their room. “It’s the other thing too.”
DH frowned, their ears twitching as they tried to figure out what TO meant. Finally, they drooped as they gave up, “What other thing?”
“This!” TO pointed at their chip, “What we just learned. Immediately you said we should keep our distance!”
“Yes?” DH said, “Because if we don’t, and we get distracted and suddenly there’s a medical emergency to help with, or Vik needs my help with some programming, or you’re needed for an important assignment, then it’ll be hard for me to let you go! I might not even be able to do it. I mean..” they gave a sudden, exhausted laugh as they looked away. “Do you know how hard it was that day?” They whispered, their voice so low TO could hardly hear them. “The day you went to the indebted center? Just after we saw GiDi.” They shook their head, “We were around them for what? Thirty seconds? And then just moments later...” They wrapped their wings around themself.
“... It was nice.” TO muttered. “Unexpected, but nice, and-”
“I was too close to just jumping on you right there.” They said as their ears burned and went right down. TO was certain they could see a hint of color go as far down as their cheeks. “In the hallway. Do you know what I wanted to do to you there?”
The narrative has been taken without permission. Report any sightings.
They didn’t, but they knew what they wanted DH to do to them. They remembered vaguely wondering how far away their room was, and now they wondered if they’d even have brought it up if DH had followed some of those instincts that they had fought against.
“... I promise.” DH said, their wings tight around them, “It’s not because I didn’t want to do those things with you. I know you’re anxious about when we’re in public, and I’m sorry I grabbed you back then-”
“Don’t be.”
“I wouldn’t have if I had been in my right mind.”
“Look, I’m sorry!” TO said, “I know you’re not as…” Their ears dipped again, their voice a whisper, “As interested in this as I am…”
“You think I'm not?!”
“Well…” They glanced around again as their own wings tightened around them. “I... I’m fine with it, with going at your pace. I really am!” they looked up, “I guess I just worried that….”
“... That I’d want to avoid something like that, like that Enkavma or this other thing not because of inconvenience, but because I just don’t want to?”
TO refused to look at DH. When did they gain the ability to read TO’s mind? “...Yeah.”
DH was silent for longer than TO would like. “I’m sorry.” TO said again, “Look. I just… it was a stupid thought, and I shouldn’t have brought it up. I should be better than that-”
“Stop.” DH said, though their voice was much softer now than it had been. When TO looked up the backwards pinning of DH’s ears had lifted, though their ears were still low. “I’m… I’m glad you told me this.” they took TO’s hand, “This is the kind of thing we’re supposed to talk about right? I mean…” They gave a bitter chuckle, “That we’re bad at it is why we just had to go through all that, right?”
A soft snort of amusement left TO. “I suppose you’re right.”
DH caressed the back of TO’s hand with their thumb, then suddenly tightened their grip and pulled TO along as they made their way back down the hallway.
“DH?” TO let their mate lead the way. “We don’t need to go back to Flit and Snout-”
“We do not.” DH agreed, “We’re not going there.”
They hurried down the hallway, turned down another, and before TO knew it DH was knocking at a door. It took TO a moment to realize it was GiDi’s door they were knocking on.
“DH!” TO’s ears flattened and flushed deep blue, “We can’t interrupt them right now!”
“We shouldn’t.” DH said, “There’s a difference.”
They knocked again, and even from the outside TO’s sensitive ears could hear movement inside, and an exasperated sigh as footsteps quickened to the door. A moment later, the door opened and GiDi poked their head out.
“What?” they snapped.
“We wanted to see you.” DH said, their ears flicking down. “It’s been a while. TO was worried about you-”
“I’m fine.” GiDi snapped. They retreated in and started to close the door.
“Are you sure?” DH asked. “I mean, I’ve not seen you since-”
“Yes. I’m positive. We’ll talk later. We’ll talk about whatever you want later.” Then without another word from their friend the door closed with such force that TO felt the wind of the movement. A second later, they heard the latch close as the door locked.
With TO’s hand still in theirs, DH pulled TO back down the hallway and towards their own rooms.
“Come on.” They said as their pace quickened, “Let’s see how strong that effect is.”
“Y-you didn’t have to do that!” TO protested as guilt squeezed at their stomach, “DH, I don’t want you to do anything that makes you uncomfortable-”
“I did that because I wanted to!” DH snapped. “I don’t want to be uncomfortable! You don’t understand how much I want this, how much I want you!” Their voice was louder now, their ears entirely blue. “But before, every time we got close or started to enjoy ourselves, I worried. I worried because I wasn’t a good synth, because I was going against what King Decon made me for.” They glanced back at TO, “You? You could handle it because you’re exceptional. You always were. I’d have been corrected ages ago if it weren’t for you.”
“You’re exceptional!” TO said, “You’re an amazing programmer, you’ve picked up a lot of medical training in a short time-”
“But you’re the useful one. As far as King Decon is concerned, you’re the useful one and I’m just a good shot who knows first aid.” They looked down, “As for programming… Vik is better than I am, and I’m good for someone who doesn’t work in programming. I’m good for an amateur, and I guess because my brain is different I can see a few things that others can’t, but I assure you I’m not as good as I’d need to be to be considered especially valuable.”
“But that doesn't matter anymore!” TO said, “We’re not working for King Decon now. He didn’t even make us! None of that matters now!”
DH tightened their grip on TO’s hand, their pace quickened.
“Exactly.” They said, “None of that matters anymore, and that last time we saw GiDi before you went to the indebted center was the only time my mind stopped worrying about it, the only time enjoying this didn’t make me sick with guilt!” They looked back at TO, “And I only stopped because we were in a hallway, and you’re worried about that stuff in public.”
TO could only manage a soft ‘oh’ as DH pulled them back towards their room.