It didn’t take long for TO to catch up to Flit and Snout. The two were walking at an easy, placid pace, while TO was running. It was odd to see them both walking so close together, hand in hand alongside the river. When TO had seen them in training, they of course were never together save for that one time they saw them in the upper levels, and even then there was an urgency to all their actions.
Now, they seemed at rest. It was odd, but it was good. It put TO at ease though they didn’t really understand why.
They heard TO approach them, turned, froze for only a single second - it was perceptible, but only just, their wings tightening, their ears pinning briefly before they relaxed and let TO catch up to them.
“TO.” Snout said with a sudden, bright smile, “You came to talk to Flit?”
How many times had TO wished that they could contact Flit to talk about their problem, to talk about their relationship with DH, to ask questions, to receive some guidance for a wonderful situation for which they were woefully unprepared.
Now that they had the opportunity, they froze. Would Flit want to talk about their issues right now? They had been civil since their conversation the day before but they hadn’t really talked.
“I’ll leave the two of you to talk.” Snout said, letting their hand drift from Flit’s, “I can go-”
“No!” TO said suddenly. The way Flit’s ears dipped in disappointment as their mate let go of their hand wasn’t the only thing that prompted TO’s reaction. They had never spoken to Snout about DH before, but their short time seeing the older synth among the insurgents had shown them that Snout was far more open, more at ease with talking about all this romance stuff than Flit was.
“... Could I talk to both of you?” TO asked, doing their best to keep their wings from tightening around their arms. “If that’s ok. If it’s not-”
“Oh! That’s fine.” Snout said. As soon as they words left their mouth, they sheepishly glanced at Flit, “I mean, if you’re ok with that-”
“Why wouldn’t I be?” said, oddly relieved as Snout’s hand slipped back into their own. “Is this supposed to be a private conversation?” They asked TO.
“Maybe?” TO asked. They weren’t planning to ask anything particularly personal, but perhaps it was best to go somewhere private.
“Alright. Come with us.” Snout said, “To our room. We’ll talk there.”
The two led the way, TO trailing behind. Their steps had more purpose now; they were going somewhere and had something to do. While grateful for the help, TO felt bad for disrupting their peaceful stroll through the tunnels.
======
Once in the other room, Flit brought out more of those sweetened cans of drink and set them down on the table.
“You have a lot of these.” TO said with a weak chuckle as they opened their can.
“This stuff is cheaper than water around here, and filled with synthetic sugar and flavoring.” Snout muttered. “But… we specifically need more sugar in our diet than the average civilian, and we work just fine on synthetic sugar.”
TO took a sip, the unfamiliar overly sweet flavor hitting their taste buds. “If we need lots of sugar, shouldn’t our nutrition cubes taste, well, sweet?”
“Should. If we used natural sugar.” Snout said, “They use a synthetic compound that produces what we need from sugar, but they don’t flavor it.” They shrugged as they sat down and opened their own, “Why bother? Fuel needs to be effective, not tasty. Having it tasteless also prevents overeating from pure desire.”
TO could see that being a benefit in space, where food was limited, and the Training Center was mostly self-sustaining. They definitely ate more than they needed to when presented with the more flavourful civilian food. Well, when they could eat, anyway.
“… So is everything alright?” Flit asked as they opened their own drink. “Did something happen today? We were all worried.”
“No, nothing happened… not really.” They stopped, and offered a humorless laugh, “Well, Lots happened today, really, but you know about all that.” They gripped the can in their hand, willing their wings to stay relaxed even as their ears flicked back just a little. With everything else going on it seemed rather selfish to worry about something so personal.
Still, they were here now. Without looking up they asked, “What is it that the two of you have in common?”
Both synths seemed confused at this question. Snout answered first, “... We love each other?”
“Aside from that!”
At this, Snout gave a snort of laughter. “Not much.” They admitted. “Back in the training center, when we got some time together I’d generally be going over computer simulations for long-term effects of different nutrient mixtures, and Flit played games-“
“Excuse you.” Flit said, their ears flattening parallel, “I was designing simulations for trainees and testing them before they got converted to simulations.”
Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.
“I know, I know.” Snout said, smiling at Flit. Their hands were under the table but from the subtle movement of Snout’s arm and then sudden, dull flush of flit’s ears they assumed Snout had likely grasped Flit’s hand. “Really, we were just happy to be around one another. It didn’t matter what we were doing.”
“And there’s no encouragement for hobbies, not unless they were productive.” Flit added, “You had a little more freedom to explore different topics and activities since you were in training, and you were developing your mind. There was no reason for, say, a production lab worker to run simulations, a retiree to look at lab results, or a shipping and receiving worker to learn how to draw.”
“But what about now?” TO asked. “I mean… You two can do what you please now, right? What do you have in common now?”
Flit shrugged, “We listen to music?” They offered. “We play simple board games-“
“You play. I lose.” Snout said.
“That’s because I worked on so many strategy simulations.” Flit said with a flick of their ears and a quick, self-satisfied smirk. “Maybe if you played more, you wouldn’t lose so much.” Their expression briefly melted into one of fondness before they looked away from Snout and back to TO. “Why do you ask?”
“… It’s stupid.”
“It’s probably not.” Snout said, leaning back in their chair. “If it’s something you’re worried about, then it’s not stupid.”
A moment of hesitation, then TO broke and told them everything. How from the moment they got into the ship to the moment they left, DH and Vik had been entirely. Involved in the programming stuff that they were working on. They explained how the two could talk for minutes, and then end up talking about stuff that was so over TO’s head that they couldn’t follow the conversation.
“And of course I tell myself that it doesn’t matter, that even though we have nothing in common, we still ended up together in the training center, but that was only because we were lonely already! We were both different; strange. That might have been enough in training, but now?” They caught themself in their rambling. They hadn’t noticed how they were clutching at the half empty drink can, their wings had tightened around their shoulders, and their ears pinned low.
Well, no hiding how much this is bothering them now.
“… I just don’t know if it’s enough now.” They said, “Not when there’s so many other people like us around.”
“Other… strange synths?” Flit’s brow furrowed, their ears flicking out in confusion .
“No no. I mean the civilians. Vik, Pearla, Tham…” They shrugged, “DH just gets along so easily with Vik-“
“And Tham’s warmed up to you. You also have a civilian with a crush on you, if I recall.” Flit took another drink, “Do you think DH should be worried about that?”
“Well, no, but that’s not the same.” TO said, “I don’t spend time with Tham and that civilian girl.”
“Ah.” Snout suddenly leaned back in their chair, comprehension moving their ears forward, “And DH spends time with Vik because they both have an interest in programming.”
It felt petty when they put it like that, but regardless TO nodded. “When they really get into it, it’s like I’m not there.”
“Did you tell DH this?” Flit asked, drawing a subtle eye roll from Snout.
“Of course they didn’t, otherwise they wouldn’t be here, would they?” They huffed and looked away, “They really are your progeny-”
“Excuse you, I talk about things with you-”
“But you didn’t, not when we were their age.”
“It didn’t feel right to tell DH how it makes me feel!” TO said, hating the way the words desperately wretched from their throat, “Vik is a friend of DH’s. I want them to have friends!” TO said, “I wanted them to have a friend in GiDi-” They skipped the part where they were jealous of GiDi, where even though they and DH weren’t at all romantic at the time they still feared that GiDi would draw DH away from them. “I just want to have something that I can talk to them like that with!”
“To be fair.” Snout said, their face entirely stoic, their ears flat, “I’m sure you and DH do plenty that DH and Vik do not.”
TO’s ears dipped and burned. TO their surprise, so did Flits. “That was unnecessary.” Flit said as they took a drink to distract them.
“It’s not, actually. In fact, we should talk about-”
“Not now?” TO pleaded. They didn’t want to have any conversations with Flit and Snout about any of the private things that they and DH did. “Just… Can we talk about this problem first?”
Flit sighed, the color in their ears fading as they set down their drink. “TO… we don’t have answers.” They said.
“But you and Snout-”
“Have been mates for a long time, but we don’t have the answers.” Flit said, “We know what works for us. But we don’t really have much insight on this. Romance…” They shrugged, “It wasn’t supposed to be something that we deal with, so we had no information on it, no education outside of what we could grasp from erroneous and overblown civilian media.”
That was true. TO tried not to think too hard about their failed attempts at flirting.
“One of DH’s passions is something that their superiors, and yourself, encouraged them to pursue because it was useful. It also coincides with the passion of a civilian they get along with. But you had no opportunity to explore any interests outside of what applies to your training, education, and placement. Even now, yes, you’re free to pursue what you like, but we’re all so busy…”
“I took up sewing.” Snout said, gesturing to the blanket on the bed. “It’s archaic, and I use old strands of clothing to do it, but it works and it’s useful!”
Ah, so Snout had sewn the blanket. Somehow, the image of snout sitting at a chair, stitching fabric together seemed so odd but also so nice to TO.
“Well, sewing hurts my hands.” Snout grumbled. “So does knitting. Besides, I’ve also been busy helping with tactical issues here. And now, we’re going to be busier than ever!” They leaned forward, their hands clasped on the table before the now empty can of drink. “TO.. Just get through this, I think. Let’s get off planet, and once we can take a breath and we don’t have to worry about a million things that might get us killed I highly encourage you to look up new hobbies or activities. Maybe you’ll find something that you and DH like to do! But… for now, just get through this. Rest when you can. Spend time with DH, and your new friends in your off time in case…” Their words trailed off, the unspoken concern heavy in the air.
“Just.. try not to worry too much. Try to just enjoy the time you have now.”
TO nodded, swallowing back the words that echoed in their head .
Enjoy the time you have now. We may run out of time sooner than we think.