The last part of the night held something that TO was very excited for; a play. Lendulin told them that dinner and a show was a traditional, romantic style date, and even suggested that they go to a place that would provide both at the same time. TO looked into those kinds of theatres, but none of them provided private viewing rooms and the thought of sitting out in the open among civilians while they tried to enjoy a show with DH was too much.
They were being watched too much, and stood out too much. Somehow, the eyes of everyone around them were making TO feel anxious.
The Conch Theater, which looked like its namesake when viewed from above, was the most renowned theater on Arkane, and contended for one of the top ten theaters in this corner of the galaxy. It used to rank among the top three, but the insurgent activity on Arkane left its stain on the theater's reputation. Who would want to go to a theatre on a dangerous planet?
That didn’t matter to TO. What did matter was that a musical that TO and DH had seen dozens of times before, and which they loved dearly, was being performed live there. It was a dramatic epic musical that had romance and tragedy wrapped around a central plot of civil war. There were two versions, but the first version had been a commercial flop, with critics calling it dangerous and subversive, and hailing this version as the superior one. In fact, there was only one critic who maintained that the subversive version was superior, but it was later discovered that insurgents had paid the critic to praise the corrupt version as it painted them as more sympathetic. Though no evidence was found, the critic later disappeared, fleeing potential punishment for working with insurgents.
TO had actually tried to find the other version to satisfy their curiosity, but it seemed impossible to find now. No matter. The proper version was very popular and heralded as an instant classic.
The walk from their carriage to their private box felt harrowing to TO; it felt like they were on display as much as when they were in their armor at the government house, but this time without the protection and anonymity of that armor. As they were, TO knew that anyone watching them would assume they were a couple on a date. Although being DH’s mate was part of their civilian disguise, it still felt dangerous to be flaunting such a thing. Somehow, they felt like every set of eyes was going to tell Ark-1 and get them separated. Foolish, of course, but even so TO couldn’t seem to convince themself otherwise.
They were so relieved when they got to the comfortable, private box. The furnishings were scarce- just two chairs and a table between them, but every part of the box was ornate. An elaborate sea-shell pattern covered the walls, and the furniture had unnecessary curves and swirls that made the legs seem like waves which had been frozen in time. On the table, there was a bucket with the drink that TO had ordered for them; a distillation of the berries they had eaten back in training, cut with civilian wine.
“I can’t believe we’re here!” DH said, their ears quivering with excitement as they stepped into the room, “I can’t believe that we’re actually going to get to see an actual play!” They sat down heavily in the chair, their hands grasping the armrests as they looked around, watching the rest of the theater filling up. Already, TO could see that most of the boxes had at least four people in them. That TO had nearly booked just the seats and not the entire room made them shudder. Being in close proximity to unknown civilians for so long was a horrifying prospect.
TO took the glasses, opened the bottle and poured them both a glass of the sparkling drink. “Drink this slowly.” TO warned. “It’s got those berries in it.”
DH’s ears dipped down, “But… we shouldn’t then, right? We wouldn’t be able to focus on the play! Last time, we fell asleep-”
“It’s not strong.” TO said, their ears burning at the memory, “Apparently you’re not supposed to eat the berries on their own; they’re supposed to be put in drinks.” They sat down and took a long sip of their drink. It did indeed remind them of the sweet flavour that they associated with that night when they fell asleep in DH’s lap.
DH smiled and took a long drink. “I can’t believe this though!” They said again, “I mean, I figured we’d maybe see a play, but I didn’t think we'd be here, that we’d see one of our favourites, or that it’d be on the same day as our dinner date.” They glanced at TO, their ears flushed, “I… I didn’t expect you to do so much, to plan so much… I feel like I should have done more.”
“I wanted to make it special for you. It’s special enough for me if you’re happy.”
Before DH could respond, the lights dimmed, and the stage lights shone. Music ebbed forth from the stage, signaling everyone to fall silent. In the theater's darkness and the privacy of their little box, TO reached out over the table that separated them and grasped DH’s hand. Without looking away from the stage, DH turned their hand over and twined their fingers with TO’s.
TO took a long breath, savouring the feel of DH’s hand in theirs, the smell of their perfume, and the way their eyes grew big and bright as they watched the curtains rise and the actors appear on stage.
This moment was perfect. They wished they could be like civilians, that they could do this all the time without fear of reprisal or separation, that they didn’t have to work so hard, and that they didn’t have to worry about doing so well that they could retire together. They desperately wished that they could just be like this for the rest of their lives.
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Impossible; They weren’t civilians; They were synths.
The thought of running came back to them, but they pushed it away.
======
TO wanted to stay in their box during the intermission, where it was private, and where they could just be with DH and be happy. The idea of having to be around civilians while under the mild influence of that berry drink made them uneasy, as though they could slip up at any moment and make some awful mistake. However, according to the programme, they could go to the lobby during intermission and purchase souvenirs, or even meet some actors who wouldn’t be on stage for the rest of the show.
“We could get one of the show paintings, and get the actors to sign it!” They beamed, “Maybe I could get one of the Fortune Teller!”
The fortune teller died before the halfway point of the show, so she’d be out in the lounge instead of getting ready for her next scene. The costume for the fortune teller had been an elaborate, feathery gown with silver jewelry, so it wasn’t surprising that DH would want a painting print of that. It was against their better judgement that they went out among the civilians during the intermission.
It was a bigger crowd that TO expected, and they immediately regretted the decision. This must have been a bigger performance than they originally thought as there was not only a large crowd of civilians packed into the lobby, but there were also several camera crews recording everything that was happening; Cameras rotated about taking video of the area while several journalists took notes or interviewed civilians. Later, TO knew that they would work together all the notes and all the interviews to create a story that the GNB could send across the galaxy. Of course, a story about a large show on Arkane would likely just be local news, broadcast to the rest of the solar system. Still, the cameras made TO as nervous as all the surrounding people.
As they waited in line with DH to get the picture of the Fortune Teller, TO found
themself almost standing at attention, looking around with their ears pinned back as though they were acting as proper synths.
“Are you sure you’re ok?” DH asked, gently nudging their hand against TO’s, trying to slip their fingers together.
“I’m sure.” TO lied, “Well, I'm anxious about being around all these people.” They glanced away, “But that’s all.” They crossed their arms as their wings tightened around them. All they had to do was wait in line just to purchase the picture, and then they had to hope that they could still find the actress before the intermission was over. Well, even if they didn’t, they’d still be able to get the picture now and find the actress later. TO wondered if it even mattered; sure they could have it while they were on Arkane, but like the clothes and the jewelry, their superiors would take it from them when they finished their placement. Maybe if they were careful, they’d be able to keep the necklaces worn hidden under the uniforms in the future, but they weren’t even sure about that.
It would make DH happy. For now, that was all that mattered.
“Hey… look at me.”
TO only then realized that they were looking about the room almost frantically, trying to track the cameras and the people at the same time. They stopped and looked at DH as they were bid.
DH was so beautiful, it made TO want to cry. Before they could control their thoughts, they felt their ears dip, felt them twitch and shiver from their affection for their mate. The blue came to TO’s ears as they quickly looked away, looking around once more terrified that someone might have seen that.
They shouldn’t have ordered that drink. What were they thinking! If they were properly sober, they’d be able to control their thoughts more! Maybe It didn’t matter; these were all civilians, and civilians couldn’t understand the ear movements. Though, would a civilian who knew their language be able to tell what that kind of ear expression meant?
“You know…” DH said softly, leaning against TO, “There’s lots of couples here tonight.” They gestured to the corner where two young civilians were sitting, waiting for the show to start again. They sat with their shoulders pressed together, hand in hand, whispering and smiling.
TO wished they could do that in public. They wished that this anxiety they felt, this fear that the wrong person ’d see them, would just melt away, or that they could ignore it.
They regretted coming out to the lobby, regretted the fancy clothes, and regretted the carriage. They could have had a perfect time without making such a fuss about everything. What if they got caught? What if somehow someone found out about them and informed Ark-1?
They’d never be allowed to stay with DH then. Their slippery mind was certain that if they got caught, then even if they could retire, they’d never be able to stay with DH.
“I think you can relax a little.” DH whispered as the line inched forward, “You said it yourself; you’re my mate tonight, nothing more… right?”
The word mate made TO’s ears burn and dip down.
“... I love you.” DH whispered.
“I love you too.” TO said as quietly as they could, keeping to synth speak as they looked around, watching the cameras and the people.
TO didn’t expect DH to stoke their ear then, their middle finger gently running up its length and making them shiver. Though it was something they loved DH doing, at that moment, it only filled them with dread and horror. What if someone had seen that!
There were too many civilians all around and TO’s slippery mind knew that someone had to have, they had to have noticed that touch.
They were going to get caught.
How could DH be so careless? No, how could they themself be so careless!? How could they have come out here? How could they have allowed themself to get even mildly intoxicated? How could they take such a colossal risk when their staying with DH entirely depended on their performance and behaviour here?
Their ears went down in panic, and they moved away from DH. Shaking, and with their wings tightly around themself, they looked first to DH, to their confused, enormous eyes, then around to the people in the line with them.
They muttered an apology and left to wait for the end of the intermission in their box. They wanted to spend time with DH, but they were too high-strung now, too scared and anxious.
DH could get the picture themself.