The spirit is willing, and the body is no longer spongey and weak.

It’s always been an uphill battle in my marital bed, or in this case, the main bathroom. A label which fails to encapsulate the grandeur of this oversized, marble hot-tub and surrounding steam room. One I am intimately familiar with in many ways, but today I find myself making a deep and detailed study of the earthenware roof while laid out on the slick, tiled floor. Not because I’m exhausted from the race against time I just narrowly overcame, nor the heat and haze of pressed bodies and amorous attentions which sought to thwart me from the rousing success I worked so hard to attain. No, I am a True Human Divinity, and therefore have ascended beyond such mortal weaknesses, so there’s no way my five lovely wives could ever leave me weak and breathless in less than ninety minutes flat. I’m lying here because I like the view.

That being said, today was a good day. Better than good, though if I’m being honest, I am feeling a little worn out. Have no one to blame but myself though. A simple stroll around the village in search of my dog somehow turned into a full-blown day of debauchery that has left me drained and exhausted. Much as I would like to take credit for the interest heaped upon me, my wives are simply making up for missed opportunities. I spend so little one-on-one time with them these days, it’s not surprising they’d jump me the first chance they get, or enthusiastically respond to Lin-Lin’s invitation for group activities. Not to say I’ve been slacking off on the night front; I give a hundred and ten percent each and every time, but a marriage is about more than sharing a bed. Fun as today was, I can’t always count on sex to make up for my failings, especially since I have no real excuse for spending so little quality time with them. It’s not like I got a lot going on these days, idling my time away hanging out at home and looking after the floofs. Which, to be fair, means I’m busier than most full-time zookeepers making sure all my pets are fed, brushed, loved, and their lives generally enriched. No longer am I a Warrant Officer, Minister, Legate, or even a Savage Divinity, not anymore. I am Falling Rain, pet walker, poop scooper, floof poofer, and snoot booper extraordinaire.

A damn decent gig all things considered, though I do wish there were more of me to go around. Then I could have even more floofs to love and adore. One for each wife would do, though I’d probably get really jealous of the other me’s, and maybe even murderous. No need for a repeat of what happened between Ying Zheng and Zhen Shi, so clones, even ethically sourced ones, are most definitely out of the questions for me. Which means I gotta push my limits and work harder to make up for my failings all by my lonesome. I’ve been slacking off in life and it shows. Lin-Lin took the rabbits, turtles, and laughing birds off my hands for an entire week, but today was the only day I spent time alone with Yan, Mila, Luo-Luo, and Li-Li. I didn’t even plan it; if Buddy wasn’t acting out, I probably would’ve spent the day testing my porcelain throne and troubleshooting whatever problems might’ve come up instead of visiting my wives at work and seeing how they’re doing. There’s no denying it. After ten years of marriage, I’ve grown lazy and complacent. An issue easily fixed, save for the fact that the real problem is that I allowed it to happen in the first place. While merely a minor gaffe on my part, if I’m this lazy ten years in, what will our marriage look like after twenty, thirty, or a hundred years?

Or a thousand years, if my wives are fortunate enough to survive that long.

“So grim and gloomy hubby. Copper for your thoughts?” Nuzzling my chin and punctuating her words with a kiss, Lin-Lin sighs and snuggles in close as we cuddle on the hard, wet bathroom floor. It gets scrubbed and washed after every use, so it’s not as gross as it sounds, but between the ick factor and the dissipating heat, I muster the strength needed to cradle my wifey into my arms and stand back up. Letting out a soft murmur of discontent as I place her upon a chair, she presses right back up against me and puffs up her cheeks, unwilling to end our blissful afterglow so quickly.

“Just feeling like I’ve let all of you down is all,” I reply, planting a light kiss on her forehead. “So many wives, and only one me. You all deserve better.” Grabbing her soft wool robe from the hook, I hold it open for her to slip her arms through and wrap her up nice and warm before grabbing a towel to pat her hair dry. “No time to get into it though, not if we want to be dressed and ready in time for dinner.” Hence why we’re here alone. Luo-Luo was first to go, since she somehow takes the longest to prepare despite having five Imperial Servants to help. Mila and Li-Li were next, the latter a little more reluctant than the former, as well she should be since she was the only one who didn’t pre-game aside from Lin-Lin. It’s okay though, because we made a promise to meet up later tonight, a promise I intend to keep. As for Yan, she left only a few minutes ago, which means there isn’t much time left before dinner, so we gotta really book it if we don’t want to show up late.

And we don’t, because Tali is somehow every bit as domineering as her mother and grandmother while also being sweet and charming at the same time.

“That’s no good, hubby.” Drawing back to peer up, Lin-Lin purses her lips in her oh so fetching pout. “You can’t handwave your moods away anymore. Being all mopey and sad was fine when we were kids, but you’re a Divinity now, so you need to be extra aware of your emotions, ya?” She would know best, considering she is, much like myself, a relatively inexperienced Divinity capable of accidentally unleashing the twin powers of Creation and Destruction in a fit of pique. Extreme pique, or any intense bout of emotion really, and younger people are more likely to hit those highest of highs and lowest of lows. That’s not to say older people never experience those peaks and valleys, but a lifetime of experience provides plenty of ballast to keep them steady, emotionally speaking.

And I, with my two lifetimes of experience, possess exceptional emotional stability. The best emotional stability in fact, as it was a major contributing factor in my ability to become a True Human Divinity in the first place. Never mind all the highs and lows I suffered through. You won’t find anyone more emotionally stable than me.

“I got caught up in my own head is all,” I reply, giving her my best smile followed by a peck on the nose before I go back to towelling her hair. “No big deal.”

“Yes big deal.” Flipping the towel out of her eyes, Lin-Lin turns around and hits me with her best glare, with hands on hips and eyes narrowed. An adorable expression which is not even remotely intimidating, naked or clothed, but I quake in feigned fear while keeping my leering to a minimum for her sake. “It’s not just about feeling sad or happy,” she says, sitting up as straight as she can to meet my gaze, only to deflate and fall into my embrace, wet towel and all. “You also need to understand why you’re feeling the way you’re feeling. If you don’t, then you’ll end up bottling all your emotions again, and who knows what’ll happen the next time it gets too much? You can’t count on a miracle to bring you back from the edge of ruin every time hubby, so we’re going to make some time and talk about it right now.”

Difficult to argue against the facts. “Alright, but I’m blaming you if we show up late.”

“…We can talk while we get ready hubby. You can do two things at once.” Turning back around, she gestures for me to get back to work, as I’m not the only one afraid of Tali. “Now,” she begins, her voice going muffled as I start towelling her hair dry, “Why are you feeling gloomy after all the fun we had? It’s not just guilt over marrying all five of us again, ya? There’s more to it.”

My sweet wifey’s ability to read me like a book will never not come as a surprise. “Yea, you’re right.” Taking a deep breath to gather my thoughts, I piece together my mood as best I can. “I was just thinking about how much I love you all, and how I haven’t been as appreciative as I should be, but what really has me down in the dumps is the possibility that these wonderful, blessed days might one day come to an end.” I’d love to end it here, so I continue my work for a few seconds until I feel compelled to fill the empty silence. “I suppose I’m still wrestling with the whole longevity thing is all. Sorta hit me out of nowhere today. Unless Luo-Luo Ascends to Divinity, she only has another century or so of life in her. Seems like a long time, but not so much in the face of eternity, so the same could be said of Mila, Yan, and Li-Li.”

And that’s best-case scenario, assuming nothing goes wrong in all that time, but what is life if not an endless stream of trials and tribulations?

It sounds so silly to say out loud, so ridiculously extra that I can feel my cheeks heating up, but the dam has broken and I cannot stop now. “I mean, sure, Panacea goes a long way to keeping someone youthful, and Grandpa Du is setting records at a hundred and twenty-nine years old, but the writing’s been on the wall for awhile now. Unless he Ascends to Divinity soon, well…” These days, he spends most of his time in his cushioned armchair and Cloud-Steps whenever he has to walk. It’s a marked decline from the formidable Warrior he was ten years ago, and not even Refining his Physique was able to improve his situation much. Despite everything being in perfect working order, his body is just getting weaker and weaker with each passing day, and there’s nothing Taddy or any Healer can do for him. Grandpa Du’s fingers are so swollen he can’t even write anymore, just narrates notes for Kyung, Yan, or Da’in to take down, all of whom have taken his inevitable passing in stride. They’re working to write a biography of his life so others can understand his perspective and get a better frame of reference when reading through his Insights, all while keeping him company in his twilight years.

Ten years ago on the walls of Shi Bei, Grandpa Du had been but a mere half-step from Ascension. Not to True Divinity, but even false Divinity would have afforded him many more centuries of life, yet he refused to take that half-step. Not out of stubborn pride or any personal failing, but because he thought the cost too high. Soldiers against soldiers, Generals against Generals, and Divinities against Divinities, this was how war was fought, so if Du Min Gyu were to Ascend to Divinity, who would be left to shoulder the Heavens for the Generals and soldiers under him?

So instead of Ascending, Grandpa Du utilized the Energy of the Heavens to carve a swathe through the Defiled forces and proved himself a true hero of the times. It was a noble sacrifice, but I learned long ago that dying is easy. Much as it sucks to leave everything behind, the quiet oblivion of death is a mercy compared to an eternity without my family and loved ones, and I fear Grandpa Du will be the first of many I am fated to lose. It’s an existential crisis I’ve been wrestling with some time now, the first of many to come, and one I fear I am not ready for.

“He could still do it yanno.” Waving me off from towel duty, Lin-Lin runs her fingers through her long, silken locks and pulls the water right out of her hair, leaving it mostly dry and untangled. A feat made possible by her Blessing of Cloud, one she demonstrates effortlessly, while I would really need to focus and pay attention to do the same without damaging her hair or worse. “Ascend on his own,” she continues, utilizing her Chi in a complex manner with only half a mind, the other half wholly focused on me. “You said he was close, so maybe he’ll figure out the rest soon enough.”

“Yea, maybe.” There’s little to no conviction in my tone, because I don’t think he’s even trying anymore. The last time I brought the topic of Ascension up, he treated it more like an academic study than a necessary process to keep him alive. “It’s possible.” What’s left unsaid is my own failure, my inability to Impart Insight upon him or anyone else like I did in Shi Bei, else I’d be able to save him and everyone else I care about as easily as turning my hand. Annoying is what it is, as if the Heavens themselves were working against me, and it frustrates me knowing I once had the solution in my hands. There’s not much else to say, so I set to brushing Lin-Lin’s hair while she sits with dainty feet dangling in the air. Though no words are exchanged, we still communicate with soft touches and loving looks as she conveys her silent concern and I do my best to assure her that I’m alright. It’s just a passing mood is all, a momentary shadow passing over these blessed days of ours, and she has nothing to worry about.

An assurance she doesn’t believe, and she’s right not to. “So now we know what’s bothering you,” she says, breaking the silence as we begin work on her braided crown, a style that is cute and elegant yet also easy to pull off, since we’re short on time. “Let’s figure out why, ya?” Peering at me out of the corner of her eye, she asks, “What’d you do all day?”

“Followed Buddy’s trail of destruction.” Grinning in spite of myself, I shake my head in awe while narrating my sweet doggy’s daring actions. “It started this morning, when Buddy stopped by the kitchen where Tali and Alsantset…”

I am well aware of how strange it is to take pride in my dog’s antics, but he’s my sweet, furry son. A stupid, lazy, gluttonous son who I’ll have to look after for the entirety of his existence, but that’s part of what makes him so precious. He’s my fur baby, and he will always be my fur baby, one who loves me for no reason other than just because, and the same is true in reverse. Ours is a bond that transcends time and space, a miracle unlike anything else I have ever seen, but even without that, I would love him simply because he’s my dog. While his shenanigans today might’ve given me a big headache, I also find it highly amusing, mostly because of the novelty. It’s not like him to cause so much trouble, since he’d much rather spend his days trotting around at my heels or napping somewhere warm, safe, and full of friends. I get why he stole the Spiritual Berries, but what about the Heart and other Plants? If all he wanted to do was play tug of war, Mila was right there and would’ve gone all out to get her crafting material back. As for digging up Taddy’s garden, Buddy went and stole a bunch of Plants he doesn’t usually eat, like dandelions and spinach. Maybe he picked up the hoarding itch, or maybe he’s bored and looking for attention, or it could also be some other twisted doggy logic driving his actions. Regardless of the reasons, I find it hilarious and endearing, albeit also a little worrying since he’s still hiding from my senses and ignoring all my Sendings. Much as I’d like to be out there looking for him again, I’m pretty sure he’ll come home when he’s hungry, and if there’s one thing I know about Buddy, it’s that he’s always hungry.

Seriously. I’ve seen him eat until he barfed, and then I had to stop him from eating the vomit. Adorable little idiot is what he is, and I love him with all my heart.

It doesn’t take long to go through his antics, as everything I know is second hand. “Sounds like Buddy had a busy day,” Lin-Lin says, holding still as I secure her braided crown in place with a set of jade hairpins. “What about you though? What’d you do in between following Buddy around?”

Because it would hardly take all day to stop off at four places in the village. “Well, uhh, I may have gotten sidetracked a few times by Yan, Mila, and Luo-Luo. I think Li-Li might’ve picked up on that fact and gave me a break, but I still owe her my after-dinner time-slot.”

“Guess Buddy wasn’t the only busy one today.”

My wifey smiles to show she’s only teasing, and I give her a big kiss on the cheek before lifting her up in my arms. “What can I say?” Unable to even pretend to be sorry, I shrug and smile before letting it fade. “It wasn’t all fun and games though. Came face to face with a few prickly issues.”

“Like what?”

Shrugging a second time, I use my Plated Domain to open the door and carry my wifey back to her room. One she never uses to sleep in, but rather as a giant closet for all her clothes, jewelry, shoes, and accessories. While not even the slightest bit materialistic, people keep giving us gifts so every one of us has built up quite the collection of bits and bobs. The inside of her room is kept spotless, with everything in its proper place thanks to Luo-Luo’s Imperial Servants, who keep meticulous records as to who gifted what and when those gifts were last displayed so we can bring them out for big events and show our appreciation. Annoying is what it is, but since today is for friends and family only, Lin-Lin can pick out whatever she wants to wear. While she does that, I narrate my day’s trials and tribulations, starting with little Tate’s ambush in the courtyard.

“Tate’s determined to leave with the next batch of Sentinels.” Ride off to war. A slow and sedate war of raiding Defiled tribesmen and guerrilla insurgents, but a war nonetheless. “Which means Alsantset will leave with him. Seeing how it’s been years since she’s been in a real fight, I couldn’t help giving her a little test to see how far she’d progressed, and… well, it’s not great.” I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t worried, and not just about invaders and rebels. My sister and nephew are prime targets for my enemies, of which there are too many to keep track of. Despite lying low and doing my best to distance myself from politics, being the sole True Human Divinity isn’t all roses and sunshine. Everyone believes might makes right, and since I have the biggest fist, it means people will see me as an obstacle or a leg to cling to. I’ve got politicians claiming to champion issues on my behalf because I made some pithy comment many years ago, while others work against me because they think I’m somehow holding their efforts back.

Worst of all are those who treat my suggestions like commands for fear of inciting my wrath. Not because of the effect it has on them, but because of how it affects me. It’d be so easy to throw my weight around and get people to do things my way. Too easy, in fact, which is why I cannot go down that path. I won’t allow myself to become a tyrant. Might does not make right, and to prove it, I need to do more than talk the talk. I need to walk the walk. That’s why I’ve distanced myself from the Empire in general and hidden myself away in the village, only working through intermediaries and shell companies so no one knows it’s me behind all the little projects I’ve got going on. The big stuff is difficult to hide, like the schools and roads, but I’ve got plenty of fingers in plenty of pies. Playwrights and acting troupes to spread modern concepts like worker’s unions and minimum wages, poets and philosophers preaching about the burdens of honour and obligation as well as the equality of man, scholars collating information on seasonal changes, crop yields, and other various data to help us better understand the world we live in. I have a company of wandering salesmen who hawk household goods to small villages and share news of the world at large, and another that delivers mail for a few coppers so folks can keep in touch, as well as a thousand other ventures varying in scale.

All of which have run into a whole lot of obstacles they could easily clear away by simply dropping my name, save for the fact that almost no one even knows I’m involved. It’s the right way to go about it, even if it is slow going.

And expensive. Not to mention frustrating. Why are people so resistant to change, even when it’ll clearly improve their lives?

Uncharacteristically silent for once, Lin-Lin holds up two dresses and I point at the sleeveless one on the left, mostly because it’s dark blue with white lace and I love how the colours look against her honeyed skin. “I know Mom, Dad, and Akanai will watch over Alsantset and Tate,” I say, making my wifey’s arguments for her as I help her into the dress, which opens up like a robe and is a pain to keep unwrinkled. “And there’ll be plenty of friends and allies to keep them safe in the West, but still. I worry. It’s what I do. I just wish I could be there too.” Holding up my hands to forestall the obvious rebuttal, I concede, “I know, I know. That’d only make it worse, because if I show up, other Divinities will flock over to meet and study me, and we’ll draw Defiled Divinities over like flies to honey. It’s best if I stay here out of sight and out of mind, but it’s frustrating is all.”

It takes some doing to get the dress on right, as you gotta tug and smooth it out in all the right places to make sure there are no wrinkles. While pulling on the hem, I meet Lin-Lin’s eyes and make a face. “Then Alsantset hit me with ‘When are you gonna settle down and have kids?’ hammer again.” My wifey’s expression puckers to match my own, and we share a little laugh. “Yea. Don’t worry. I’m not ready to have kids yet either, but I may have partially blamed you and Luo-Luo, so prepare yourself for that.” That earns me a glower and a pinch, and I recoil in fear and remorse as expected before breaking out into a shared smile. “It’s weird right?” I continue, helping her into a massive embroidered silk sash, one long enough to wrap her from head to toe with room to spare. “I’m in my thirties now, so combined with my past life I probably have like sixty-some-odd years of experience, if not more, and I still don’t feel ready to be a dad. I don’t even feel like an adult. Then there’s all the political aspects to worry about, but I’m more worried about Luo-Luo. I know she wants children, and I don’t want to make the same mistake Dad did, leaving it too late.” To this day, Mom still complains about it, in a good-natured way, but I know she wishes she had kids earlier, if only so she could have more grandkids and even great-grandkids now.

It'll happen soon enough I guess. God, I still can’t wrap my head around sweet, adorable Tali getting ready to be married. Stupid Talbur and his good manners, easy humour, and handsome face. He better treat her right, because if he doesn’t, I’ll go dark side on his ass in a heartbeat.

…Okay, so maybe Lin-Lin’s right to be concerned about my moods.

Stopping my wifey in place, I smooth out the fabric before indicating she can go back to turning in place and winding the giant sash around her waist. It’s silly, but it’s also the easiest way to put it on without three people helping out. “It’s not like I don’t want kids,” I say with a sigh. “You know that, but it’s so complicated. With floofs, you just gotta feed them, love them, and keep them from peeing on the furniture. That’s it. Kids, you gotta teach them so much more than just potty training. And then there’s all the pressure of wanting your children to be successful. You know Zian was considering having his son go to school here? Little An Yang is barely ten, and his parents have their panties in a twist because he doesn’t have a Core yet. I get it. Until he turns twenty-five, his age group is his competition, so Creating a Core earlier means more time to progress in comparison, but he’s ten. The kid should be running around poking bugs and pulling pigtails, not Demonstrating the Forms and pursuing his Path day after day.”

Stifling a sigh, I tell Lin-Lin the rest of my gripes, even the parts I wasn’t going to bring up. Zian didn’t mean anything by it when he accused me of not doing everything I could for An Yang. He just wants what’s best for his son, which in his eyes means becoming a Martial Warrior. The problem is, little An Yang is better off remaining mortal than becoming a bottom of the barrel Martial Warrior, which is what he’d likely become if I helped him demarcate his body, mind, and soul from the Heavens. Sure, he’d be a Martial Warrior, but when it comes time to progress, how is he supposed to reconnect with the Heavens when the barrier between them is foreign and unfamiliar, instead of a divide he himself created with his first step along his Path?

You only need look at Luo-Luo’s lacking progress to understand the downsides of a false Core. Much like the Stormguard were helped through the process by yours truly, she was helped through Core Creation by her father. Unlike the Stormguard however, you cannot deny Luo-Luo’s training or brilliance, and yet in spite of her deep understanding of the Dao of Music, she has no earthly idea how to translate that understanding over to the Dao in its entirety and use it to progress her Path. The reason is simple. Luo-Luo connects to the Heavens through the medium of music because the divide separating her Self and the Heavens is too ineffable for her to understand. It wasn’t something she herself created, so unless she can learn to see the world from her father’s perspective, she must find a different way to progress along her Path. The fact that she was able to succeed speaks volumes to her phenomenal talents, but while she’s made more headway than anyone could ever expect, she is still far behind her peers, much less the top talents of our generation when it comes to utilizing her Path.

Not to be mean or anything, but it took her seven whole years to figure out Cloud-Stepping, while Mama Bun picked up the concept after a few months of lessons. The ‘Cloud’ part at least, which is why she just floats around on the invisible inflatable raft she conjures up with Plated Domain. She still hasn’t gotten the ‘Step’ part down, but she’s a bunny, so you can’t expect too too much.

The worst part is, An Yang is so close to success, but I’m afraid to say anything because I’m worried Zian and Jiang Fei will only push him harder. I felt the flow of Chi moving through little An Yang’s meridians, felt the blockages and redundancies too, so all he’s gotta do is figure out how to hold onto that flow and Create his Core. He doesn’t need more pressure. He’s got plenty of that from his too-talented sister, even without adding in his parents’ high expectations. What he needs is proper motivation and encouragement. There was a time he wanted this success for himself, but now he wants it for all the wrong reasons, and that wrong desire is what holds him back. He’d figure it out soon enough if given time and space to do so, and I tried to explain that with my whole spiel on meditation, but all Zian and Jiang Fei heard was ‘step back’ and they dismissed it out of hand. They’re worried their son isn’t progressing fast enough, so how can they be comfortable letting him take a step back?

End of the day though, they’re his parents, and even though I think they’re going about it the wrong way, I can’t come out and say that. We all must walk our own Path, and An Yang’s parents are a part of his, so all I can do is try to nudge everyone in the right direction without overstepping my bounds. Then again, I could also be wrong, and the pressure from his parents might well push him to excel. I’ve learned a lot about the Path in the last ten years of study, but I’ve also uncovered more questions than ever before, so I can’t claim to have all the answers, or even enough to say I know more than most. All I can say is that I know how much I don’t know, which is about as definitive a statement as I can make with regards to the Dao.

Besides, I’m not even sure if Core Creation should be the first step anymore, but the alternative is a far more difficult Path, one I would never recommend to any except the most talented and devoted of individuals. To become One with the Heavens right off the bat isn’t something you can train for, and to do so before finding Oneness of Self and the World is difficult beyond comparison, because humans are too complicated for so broad and simplistic a perspective.

That’s neither here nor there though, as I can empathize with Zian’s concerns regarding An Yang’s lacking progress, because I share them. Not for my kids or my floofs, but for my wives and the rest of my family. Yan’s thrown everything she has into the school, not just because she wants to help children, but because she sees it as her way of continuing Grandpa Du’s legacy as a Great Teacher. I love that for her, except it feels like she’s abandoned her personal pursuit of the Dao to focus solely on teaching and nothing else, except there’s no need to abandon one for the other, as they’re one and the same. The Dao of Teaching is still a Dao, and you can learn a lot from it. Then there’s Mila, who’s making leaps and strides in subjects I barely even understand, but I can’t help but think she’s going about her Path the wrong way, or at least skipping over a few crucial steps before veering off in that direction. Her Runic language is incredible, there’s no denying that. It adds a whole new perspective on Chi skills, one that could easily translate into a brand-new school of thought on the Martial Path. Rather than focus on the foundation of how those Runes function however, she’s leaping ahead in an effort to put those Runes together and see what happens. It’s like trying to learn English from a single page of the newspaper. Rather than break it down into letters and syllables, Mila’s cutting out words from different articles and putting them together in hopes of creating new working sentences without understanding what the words themselves mean. It could work, but the chances of that happening aren’t great, and I don’t know how she should go about learning the Runic ‘alphabet’, or grammar or whatnot. I’ve already touched on Luo-Luo’s lacklustre progress, and as for Li-Li, she’s too focused on the ‘Martial’ part, when she should instead be turning her attention to the ‘Path’ and studying the more esoteric aspects of Chi and Domain. Problem is, she sees no value in anything that can’t be used in a fight, which narrows her perspective during a time when she should expand it instead, and no amount of badgering can convince her otherwise.

And that’s what’s got me all grim and gloomy. Today, I got a good look at how everyone is progressing, and I’m worried it won’t be enough to drive them all the way to the Peak and Divinity beyond it.

Which means there will likely come a day when I must bid them farewell.

A thought which terrifies me more than anything in the world. I would rather face a thousand Eternal Emperors at once than go a single day knowing I will never see one of my wives ever again.

To give me time to process all this, Lin-Lin stays silent while we pick out what shoes, jewellery, and accessories to wear, though her white silk scarf is really the only thing that she needs to complete the outfit. Then it’s my turn to get dressed, which is a whole lot easier, since it’s just a shirt, pants, and high-collar jacket. Underwear too, though I would much rather go without, and all properly worn, which makes it so much less comfortable. As she helps me with my jacket buttons, I find myself fixated on her fetching features and how much I’ve grown to love her, and with that comes the irrational wave of fear at the thought of one day losing her.

Because even Divinities can age and die. Just look at Guan Suo. He’s dead and gone, and Guai Guai is neither his reincarnation nor his transfiguration. Guai Guai is just a red panda like any other, one born out of Ping Ping’s love and memories of her oldest and dearest friend using the Heavenly Energy contained within his mortal flesh. Guai Guai is his own creature, a miracle of life, but no more Guan Suo than An Yang is Zian.

“Don’t do that hubby.” Tugging my collar tighter than necessary, Lin-Lin fixes the final button with a heated glower.

“Do what?”

“Look at me like you’ve already lost me.” Grabbing me by the chin, she pulls me down to look her in the eyes. “If you spend all our time together mourning the inevitable loss, what will you do after I’m gone?”

And there it is. Even Lin-Lin, in all her boundless optimism, cannot envision a future in which she ascends to True Divinity alongside me. The best we can hope for is a future in which we grow old together, one where my suspicions are proven wrong and I am not in fact eternal. That I will age and eventually die, whereupon my soul will then enter the cycle of reincarnation to begin anew. “That’s what I’m most worried about,” I confess, leaning in to touch my forehead to hers. “It’s stupid. Everyone has to deal with the inevitability of loss, and most do just fine, but I cannot envision a life without you, or Mila, Yan, Luo-Luo, and Li-Li.” Stopping for a chuckle, I shake my head without pulling away from Lin-Lin’s. “Or anyone for that matter. Just this morning, I told Alsantset ‘Eternity is a long time after all, and I’ll need my big sister to keep me honest.’ Because I do. I need her, and my parents, and so many other people, as I’d be lost without them.”

And then where’d I be? No better off than Ying Zheng.

There was a time when the Eternal Emperor was… not a good man, but a righteous and noble one. Or at least he adhered to noble ideals, like brotherhood, honour, and obligation, ideals he upheld with help from the good friends around him. Say what you will about all the war and bloodshed, but he didn’t start it, and he fought with zeal and determination for a righteous cause he wholeheartedly believed in. By uniting the provinces, he put an end to a tumultuous era and brought order to the Empire as we know it. As the First Emperor of the Azure Sea, he strove to better the lives of his subjects by tasking the families of his five most loyal subjects to enforce laws, oversee commerce, advance agricultural practices, and more. It’s clear he had good intentions, albeit poor execution, and he laid a sturdy foundation upon which a lasting peace could be built, a foundation we still make use of today. That wasn’t by accident, because I’ve seen his memories and traced his steps, so I know there was a time when he wanted nothing more than to do right by his subjects and see to it that none would suffer like he had.

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Because when you break it all down, Ying Zheng took up arms for one reason and one reason only; to avenge the death of his mother whom he loved so dear.

And so a single mortal man embarked on a journey of a lifetime, overcoming foes and winning over allies until there was no one left to fight. Or at least, no one worth fighting. Then he put aside his sword and took up his crown with the same zeal and determination. That’s how it started at least, a mere hundred years in a lifetime spanning tens of thousands, so it’s hardly surprising that by the end of it all, he was barely recognizable anymore. I can pinpoint the exact moment in Ying Zheng’s life when it all went wrong though, the singular event which separates the man Ying Zheng was from the Eternal Emperor he became. It’s the moment when he lost his friends, the four brothers who he fought, bled, and celebrated alongside in almost every significant step of his Path thus far. More than his comrades, more than his family, more than his valued advisors, his brothers served as his moral compass and kept Ying Zheng firmly rooted on the righteous Path he set out on all those years ago. Sure, they made mistakes along the way, but you can hardly fault them for not knowing better, especially given their narrow perspectives. They did the best they could with the skills and information they had, and I doubt I could’ve done much better in their place.

Then Ying Zheng killed them all, and only then had he truly lost his way. With no one to talk to or tell him he was wrong, he continued down the wrong Path he’d committed himself to, one born of righteous intent and misguided ideals. Hubris led him to believe he alone had the answers to all of humanity’s woes, and thus the only person qualified to sit upon the throne. To make matters worse, I’m not sure this world would have been better off without him. Yea, he did a lot of fucked up shit over the millennia, but compare that to the bits and pieces of human history I remember from my past life and I’d say it’s pretty much par for the course, if not better. The human race is more than capable of the most horrific acts imaginable without much prompting, so you could even argue that the Eternal Emperor kept us more or less in line. While you could blame him for the lives lost due to an intentional lack of progress on his part, he didn’t keep the Empire stagnant with malice. In his eyes, progress begets change, change begets instability, instability begets chaos, and chaos begets death, so he thought he was doing the world a service.

It's like they say, everyone sees themselves as the hero of their own story, and the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

I’ve gone over all this many times before, and I lay out the broad strokes once again while Lin-Lin puts on her makeup and I round out the finishing touches on my hair. Then, unable to stop myself, I tell her my gravest concern which I’ve never dared give voice even inside my head, the idle thoughts of whispered temptation I try to shut down as soon as they start, yet keep cropping up all the same. “I’ve thought about it, you know? Continuing Ying Zheng’s research on the mind, body, and soul and figuring out how he captured souls.”

There is no look of horror from Lin-Lin, no display of shock, not even so much as a strange glance as she continues applying her makeup, adding a light touch of colour around her oh so lovely eyes. The lack of response emboldens me to push onwards, mostly because I need to get these thoughts off of my chest. “His methods were horrific and conclusions flawed, but the data from his experiments can still be used. In an ethical manner of course, or ethically as possible. Not sure how that works when it comes to capturing souls, and I haven’t given too much thought to it just yet, so I’d mostly be making it up as I go. The end goal would be worth it though. Think about it. He was able to secure a soul in the moment of death before it moved on to the cycle of reincarnation. While he abused that power for his own nefarious purposes, the possibilities are endless. Imagine being able to preserve the best and brightest humanity has to offer, so that they might continue their good work inside my Natal Palace long after their bodies and minds have failed them. It wouldn’t even have to be my Natal Palace necessarily, because you’ve been visiting as a complete soul for years now, so theoretically, all they need to do is love and trust another Divinity. From there, their only requirement is steady transfusions of Life Energy to remain functional, which I admit is tricky. I haven’t figured out if there’s a limit to the amount I can spare, but I haven’t run into one yet, or seen any downsides from doling it out. Even if I can’t keep a soul active for eternity, I could keep countless souls in stasis to preserve them until I figure out a method to resurrect them without resorting to body snatching. Sounds difficult I know, but we have evidence that it’s possible. Ping Ping created Guai Guai after all, and I made Buddy, so as long as we figure out the details and a way to power the whole thing without borrowing power from someone’s Ascension, then we’ll have unlocked the secrets to eternal life.”

Again, there’s no response from Lin-Lin while she applies her lipstick, as if I was just going on about the weather or our floofs, so I keep rambling on. “There’s a lot more I could be doing too. I thought about… well, lemme walk you through it from the start, because the concept is a little out there.” Maybe not crazier than storing souls for eventual rebirth, but still kinda really crazy. “So you know how I can’t easily create Natal Souls anymore, right? We figured it was on account of the whole unified mind-body-soul process I went through in order to Ascend to True Divinity. Much harder to sever off a portion of your soul when it’s part and parcel of the rest of you, and we couldn’t agree on an acceptable workaround.” Because most people balk at eating bits and pieces of my flesh infused with my Will and Soul, even the formerly Defiled members of the Brotherhood. Where’s their scientific curiosity? Sure, it takes a lot more effort to cut me, and a little longer to regenerate, but it’d be worth it for a direct pipeline to the Heavens. “So I’ve been thinking about how I could easily teach other people how to Impart and… it’s tricky.”

For starters, making Natal Souls isn’t easy to begin with, and making Balanced ones even harder. Or at least it is for most normal, well-adjusted people. Turns out, the brain tends to resist self-infliction of mental illnesses, even if said mental illness is mostly beneficial. Then there’s the fact that the person creating the Natal Soul needs to be willing to die in order to help their target connect with the Heavens, because if they’re not willing, then their Natal Soul will feel the same way, and then you’re at risk of making Zhen Shi vs Ying Zheng part two, electric boogaloo. There’s more to it, but long story short, the easiest way around all that is to start what is more or less a cult, one that reveres me and the people around me so the cult members can then sever their Natal Souls, who then willingly sacrifice themselves to help my wives and loved ones ascend to Divinity, True or otherwise. All in all, seems pretty harmless as far as cults go, but I don’t feel comfortable starting a religion based around me for testing purposes. I don’t even like interacting with groupies, so having a band of fanatics taking my word as gospel would be the worst.

And you know what the craziest part of all this is? Those are two of the more achievable ideas I’ve had percolating in the brain box for a while now. Wild right? Everything else I want to do like abolish slavery, establish workers rights, treat all equally under the rule of law, and make schooling mandatory for children all seems so far out of reach, or will come at a cost I’m unwilling to pay. One in blood, suffering, and despair, because the ruling elite of the Empire will never listen unless we speak in the only language they care to listen to. They believe might makes right, after all, so even though I am the man with the biggest fist, my opponents know I’m unwilling to use force, so they treat my words as empty air.

Infuriating is what it is, and it almost makes me want to rethink my position and lay the smackdown on some candy-ass jabronis. Almost.

At least Lin-Lin isn’t running for the hills after hearing my arguments on why I should not only start a cult, but be worshipped by said cult. Smacking her lips in that adorable way all women do to make sure their lipstick is on right, she looks left, then right for one last look at her makeup in the mirror before finally turning to face me. “Anything else?” She asks, her big, brown eyes so full of pure and honest curiosity as she tilts her head and waits patiently for me to continue without even a hint of judgment.

Which is not what I expected. “…Soul snatching and proselytizing isn’t enough?”

“I dunno hubby.” Moving to stand before me, she wraps her arms around my waist and rests her chin on chest, her bright gaze never once wavering as she melts into my embrace. “You tell me. You have any other thoughts weighing you down?”

“Plenty,” I reply with a half-hearted chuckle. “But I don’t think we have enough time before dinner to go through it all.”

“Then we’ll pick this conversation up afterwards,” she says, radiating love and affection without needing to resort to Aura. “Wanna hear my thoughts so far?”

“Yes, please.”

“I think they’re both interesting ideas which you should explore further.” Breaking out in a bright and beautiful grin, she waggles her eyebrows and asks, “Not what you were expecting, was it hubby?” I shake my head. Shaking her head in return, she continues, “You’re so silly sometimes. Why would you think I’d call you a monster just for brooding over an idea? Especially ones as big as rebirth or Impartation. They’re great ideas, though maybe you should reconsider your methods. For rebirth, I think it’s better to focus on figuring out how to harness enough Heavenly Energy and other stuff to create working bodies before you go collecting souls, ya?”

“That… makes perfect sense.” Would probably be the biggest hurdle too. Even as a True Divinity, there are limits to the amount of Heavenly Energy I can harness in one go, a limit that falls woefully short of the vast quantities involved in Ascension. For Buddy and Guai Guai, Ping Ping and I sorta siphoned off what we needed while Ascending to create their bodies, but even that much is several orders of magnitude more than what I can wield these days. Sure, basic Martial Warrior stuff is easy enough to pull off, because that’s just harnessing plain old natural forces. Creating bodies out of thin air is anything but natural, and given how the Heavens resists all things unnatural, it takes some work to get going. Believe you me, the metaphysical weight of the Heavens is not easy to push around, and while there are possible workarounds, Lin-Lin’s right. I should figure out the body part first before I go around collecting all the souls, as otherwise I’d be putting the cart before the horse.

And maybe I should look into how the mind fits into all this, since I’m pretty sure there’s more to it than the physical brain.

“And instead of a cult focused on you,” she continues, speaking over my internal monologue, “How about focusing more on the Dao? As in having people revere the Dao, and seek to spread it to all those who would listen. Like the Brotherhood, but more social. Then you’ll have people who wholeheartedly believe in the Dao who can Impart to anyone, rather than just you and the people you love. Would keep certain people from getting all twisted up about the ‘power-base’ you’re building up here.”

“Yea, that’s just so much better.” Ethically, morally, and just generally all around. Would still run into the same problems later on down the road, wherein a foundation built on Impartation is shakier than one built by someone who knows what they’re doing, but with more Martial Warriors and Divinities, there’ll be more minds to put together to come up with a solution. Quantity has a quality of its own, after all. Giving my sweet wifey a smile, I say, “I always knew you were smart, but when did you get so devious? Look at you, considering the political angles and working out a diplomatic response.”

“Have to.” Shrugging, she leaves the rest unsaid and lays no blame at my feet.

She should, considering it’s my fault. “Sorry wifey.” Touching my nose to hers, I resist the urge to kiss her lest I end up wearing her lipstick to dinner. “It’s only for a little longer. Eventually, they’ll stop looking at our every move through a political lens. They only do it because they think I aspire to become Emperor, or wholeheartedly believe I should, which is ridiculous. If I wanted the throne, I’d have taken it ten years ago, and they wouldn’t have to worry about my ambitions anymore, but they can’t even fathom the concept of someone like me caring nothing for the power they wield.”

“M-hmm.” Rubbing her nose against mine, Lin-Lin pulls back to look me in the eyes with a knowing expression. She knows the real reason why I refused the throne. Not the excuses I’ve thrown out like it’s bothersome or I’m unqualified, but because I’m afraid of becoming a second Eternal Emperor. Power corrupts after all, and absolute power corrupts absolutely. I’m safe though, so long as I wield no power and have my loved ones to keep me level-headed. My darling wifey sees through all that however, and heaves a soft little sigh. She doesn’t agree, thinks I could do more if I were in charge, but if I force my views upon the people of the Empire, then I am no different from the current powers that be. Sure, I’ll have their best interests in mind, but so did Ying Zheng at the start, and we all know how that turned out.

“Moving on.” Reaching up to palm my cheeks in both hands, Lin-Lin asks, “You know why I don’t worry about you going crazy with power hubby?” Pinching my face hard and pulling out, she scrunches her nose in a tiny frown before releasing my cheeks and unleashing her dazzling smile. “Because you’re my Rainy.”

Much as I would love to take heart in her conviction, I shake my head with a smile. “People change, and I’ve got plenty of time to.”

“Maybe.” Grabbing my hands, she moves as if we’re ballroom dancing and gives a little twirl. “But it’s been twenty years since you woke up with memories of your past life, and you’re still laughing at the same captioned pictures to this day. I think you’re safer than most when it comes to change.”

“First off, they’re called memes.” Affecting a false air of discontent, I pull her close and lead her around in a back-and-forth walt, dancing to a tune neither of us can hear, but can feel within our hearts. “And secondly, they’re hilarious once you understand the context of the pictures and how their captions oftentimes subvert expectations. Also, I’m pretty much over memes now. They’re so last year, completely out of fashion.”

“Sure.” It’s clear from her tone that she’s just humouring me, and I admit I might still enjoy the odd meme or two every now and then. “Whatever. Lastly,” Lin-Lin says, standing lightly atop my shoes so I can dance for the both of us, “Your worries are justified, but you never know what the future has in store. Maybe things turn out the way you expect, or maybe everything changes in ways you can’t even imagine. Either way, you can’t let your fear drive you, not again.” Twenty years now, and still I make the same mistakes, but at least this time, my wifey called me out before things got too far. “Just remember,” she says, giving me a smile that is so full of love and support. “Where there’s life…”

“There’s hope.”

We share a smile while I lose myself in her radiant gaze. “That’s right,” Lin-Lin declares, stretching up to give me a peck on the cheek before wiping her lipstick away. “So hold fast to hope.” After a short pause, she adds, “And maybe find a hobby, ya? Something to take your mind off all your worries. Not just about the far future, but the present too. I think part of why you’re so fretful is because all your projects have hit dead ends or are slow to progress and you’re frustrated, so you think about pushing it through and worry about the consequences of abusing your position. Thing is, you’re the one who always says it’ll take decades or centuries for the Empire to catch up to the world of your past life, but you’re also the one who’s most eager to make it happen.”

Well… she’s not wrong. “You’d be eager for technological progress too if you knew what you were missing out on.” Slumping down in mock defeat, I mourn the loss of endless feeds of cute animals and memes, among many other things. “The worst part is, we finally got the toilet working, but I haven’t been able to use it.”

“That’s why I keep telling you to eat more veggies hubby. Stop saving the Spiritual Plants for us.”

“No, I mean like, I’m physically capable of… you know.” In dire need, as a matter of fact, since I’ve been holding it in all day. “But I can’t. Not without Buddy.” Drawing away, Lin-Lin hits me head on with the bombastic side-eye, and I can’t help but laugh. “Hang on, hear me out. It’s not that weird. I sat down on the toilet right, ready to give it a go, but then something felt off and I realized it’s because Buddy wasn’t there. He usually sits in my pants, which is adorable, so I got up to look for him, and well… here we are.”

The side-eye intensifies as Lin-Lin shakes her head. “It’s pretty weird hubby. You can’t poop because you need your doggy to keep you company.”

“Quiet you.”

“Poor Buddy, no wonder he’s wreaking havoc. I’d run away too if you wanted me to sit next to you while you poop.”

“Stop it.” Laughing as I gather her up in my arms, I hold her close and feel the weight of the world come off my shoulders. “Thank you,” I add, heaving a sigh of relief as I put her back down. “I needed that. A good grounding to keep my head out of…” My ass. “The clouds.” Taking a deep breath, I take her hand in my own and hold it tight. “You’re right. I’ve been sitting on my hands for too long now, just waiting for something to happen, when there’s so much I could do.” Like supporting my wives in their varying pursuits, however I can. I could also offer to look after An Yang for a week or two, see how he likes life here in the village and give him a break from his overbearing parents. Encourage my sister to train by asking for her advice. Help Taddy set up anti-doggy digging measures around his garden. Take notes and pour tea for Grandpa Du, work with Charok to build newer and better houses for the people of the village, help Naaran train the quin pups without ruining them with treats, and maybe even have a civil conversation with Gerel for once, one that doesn’t end in juvenile name-calling and macho posturing.

Aside from that last thing, it all sounds like fun, and there’s plenty more I could do even if I stay within the limits of the village surroundings. I got all the time in the world after all, so I might as well do something productive.

Just as I’m about to suggest we collect the others and head down for dinner, the Energy of the Heavens surges and drains away from the surroundings. Not just my surroundings, but from every direction all at once, a torrential metaphysical turbulence unlike anything I’ve ever felt before, even in Shi Bei with dozens of Divinities fighting on both sides. The hairs on my neck stand up straight as I move to defend us, but my reactions are slowed from years of idle indolence. A full quarter second passes before my Deployed Domain Materializes and stretches out to encompass the village in all its entirety, Stabilizing the laws of the material world and blunting the Destructive forces of any opposing Divinities. Cloud Stepping out the door, I stand in the sky and let my Aura billow out to every living being in range, assuring my allies and challenging my enemies in one fell swoop. Peace, Tranquility, and Unity appear at my sides, drawn through the Void as I make ready to defend my home from this unwarranted attack.

Could it be the former Emperor, Liang Wu Sheng? It’s possible he Ascended to True Divinity and believes himself my match, or perhaps my father-in-law, the former Legate and current Emperor Liang Wu Di is out of patience and believes it’s time to remove me from the board. Could also be some remnant countermeasure from Ying Zheng or Zhen Shi, a concentrated effort from various factions displeased by my existence, or one of a thousand other possibilities, but regardless of what I face here tonight, I will meet my foes head on and remind them of who I am. They will regret coming here to disturb my peace, for they have awoken the dra –

Oh wait. Hang on. False alarm.

The heady rush of adrenaline courses through my veins as I struggle to get my emotions back under control. It’s not rage or bloodlust which troubles me so, but shame and embarrassment, because I realized far too late that we are not, in fact, under attack. There are no enemy Divinities readying world-shattering strikes, no violation of the Treaty underway, not even a threat to be wary of. No, it’s something far more benign and recognizable, though in my defense, it’s been years dealt since I’ve seen this happen first-hand. The Energy of the Heavens are in turmoil because someone seeks to defy them in a much less nefarious manner than I originally suspected, one that is cause for celebration.

Someone is Ascending to Divinity nearby, which means it’s time for a show.

Gathering up my wives as quick as I can, I set off while crafting a Sending to every Peak Expert and Divinity within the village informing them of the news, though I suspect most have figured it out on their own. Several are even ahead of me, rushing over to catch the show in hopes of finding Insight and Inspiration, and I pray Grandpa Du is among those who succeed. I sense his familiar presence amongst the crowd, rushing over to satisfy his curiosity more than anything else, so I drop in to give him, Kyung, and Da’in a helping hand. Alsantset and Charok. Fung and Seoyoon. Zian and Jing Fei. Naaran, Ghurda, Dastan, Huushal, Wu Gam, Ravil, and more, I gather everyone up along the way and send them off while hanging back to pick up the stragglers. Even a single extra second might spell the difference between failure and success, so I take my time and make sure everyone gets there as quickly as they can before joining the audience myself.

The area is a familiar one, on a mountain path leading out of the village alongside an overhang where I’d often stop for one last look at the home I’d come to love so much. Whoever is Ascending is hidden underground, Concealed so well I can’t sense their presence, but the source of the turmoil is unmistakably here. This is where they Shattered the Void, broke the barrier between the physical world and the metaphysical, right here where the Energy of the Heavens surges into the ground. Though we cannot see the Ascender or the physical process of their transformation, the twists and turns of the turbulent currents of Heavenly Energy are more than enough to find Insight with. It’s less about the what and more about the how, though even I cannot claim to understand the workings of Heaven. The flow of Energy swells and spirals into a convolution of tangles and bends, currents which form Metaphysical Runes in accordance to the Ascender’s Will and Dao. A beast no doubt, as I would know if there was a person burrowed under this nearby mountain, but there is still much to be gleaned from the process. More if the Spiritual Beast Ascends to a Divine one instead of an Ancestral Beast, though it’s difficult to tell which way this one is going.

Please be a Divine Beast. A friendly, floofy one big enough to hug and cuddle, because why not?

A second passes, and I allow my mind to wander as I take it all in, focused more on the forest than the trees. See, most people wield the Energy of the Heavens as Chi, which is like going to the ocean and grabbing a bucket of water and bringing it home. As you progress, you build up enough strength to carry a bigger bucket and move water around in a faster and more efficient manner, until you become a Divinity and build a pipeline to tap directly into the source. As for me, I’d say it’s more along the lines of learning how to swim. I’m out there in the deep water at all times, which means it’s always readily available, but I need to be careful not to let the currents pull me under.

That’s a grossly oversimplified way of looking at it of course, but it works in most instances. Here and now, our Divinity-to-be is building their pipeline, and everyone is here to watch the construction process. Doing so will help folks like Grandpa Du and other Peak Experts on the precipice, while those still yet to reach the Peak can benefit from just feeling out the flows, but me? I’m at the big picture stage of my life. I don’t need to know how all the pieces come together to form that pipeline or the physical body. I need to know how those pieces were manufactured in the first place, or more specifically, how the process of Ascension is able to move the metaphysical weight of the Heavens to make all this possible in the first place.

Moving a little Heavenly Energy around is easy. Directing whole currents is another thing altogether, far beyond even me. I can flatten mountains if I put my mind to it, but so could Joe Schmoe if given a pickaxe, shovel, and an eternity. What I can’t do is convert energy into matter, or one element into another, or create a working physical vessel of flesh and blood out of thin air, all of which is taking place even as I speak. The process of Ascension is the engine which makes that possible, drawing so much Heavenly Energy that even a commoner can feel the flows, and it is that engine which I am interested in, one which could very well bring us into a new age of prosperity beyond even what I enjoyed in my past life.

Think about it. Limitless, free energy that you can convert into almost anything you can imagine. It’d be the start of a post-scarcity society, one in which wealth and resources mean nothing. Who cares how much gold you have when anyone can simply conjure up anything and everything they could ever need with merely a turn of the hand?

I hold this goal in mind as I immerse myself in the miracle of life and rebirth. Seconds pass in languid lethargy as I push my mind to its limits and study the intricate secrets of Creation unfolding before me. There’s so much to see, so much to learn from, yet I sense the process has stalled in some sense, having moved through less than one-one-thousandth of the way. The Energy of the Heavens continues converging around us, gathered by the aspiring Ascendant buried underground until the Void itself swells and bulges, threatening to burst at the metaphysical seams and spill out into reality and beyond it. During Ping Ping’s Ascension, I lacked the capability to sense the grand scale of things, and during my own and those Ascensions in Shi Bei, I was too distracted to notice, so it’s difficult to say with certainty if this is any different from before. It feels wrong though, because while some metaphysical stress is to be expected, I think I would’ve noticed if the Void was ready to bleed out into reality back in Shi Bei.

Then again, maybe this is happening because my wish is coming true and I’m about to welcome a new Divine Floof into the family. It’d make sense if they did things big, and I was much further behind when Ping Ping Ascended, so I probably just couldn’t sense it. Whatever. Mysterious Ascender, I only ask that whatever you are, please don’t be hard or scaly. We got two turtles already, and only one dog, so it’s only fair if you’re soft and furry. Hell, I’ll accept a bird even, though I’ve never met a bird that burrows underground.

My wistful musings and studious ruminations are interrupted by a booming, baying bark, and my stomach drops as I recognize the sound. There goes Buddy, the source of today’s woes, circling the eye of the confluence and barking at the crowd with fangs bared and hackles raised. Though cute as a button, he has a hefty pair of lungs on him, and a right proper bark to make up for his complete and utter lack of bite, but he gives it his all as he does his best to drive the onlookers away. “Buddy!” I hiss, feeling the blood drain from my face as I Cloud-Step over to grab my dog before he embarrasses me any further. “Shush. You’re interrupting everyone while they’re trying to find Insight.”

Of course, Buddy not only avoids my grab through some mysterious working of canine sorcery, he also continues to bark at the crowd while running away. Make no mistake, he’s a slippery little furball and cunning too, weaving in and out of the crowd to avoid getting caught while still Concealing his presence to make it even harder to track him as he evades capture. Not only am I being made to look the fool, but I can tell he’s not doing this for fun. I wouldn’t put it past him, as keep away is one of his favourite games, but his tail isn’t wagging and is tucked between his legs, and every time he looks back, I see the fear and concern in his big, brown eyes, so I stop chasing after him to take a deep breath. Then another, because god dammit is this aggravating. “I’m not angry Buddy,” I say, dropping down to one knee and patting the ground in front of me. “Come.”

It’s the tone and emotions more than the words that does the trick, and my heart almost breaks as Buddy pokes his head out from between the Old Wolf’s legs with a hangdog expression. “It’s okay, boy,” I say, putting on a happy face and patting the ground some more. “Come here. Come on. I’m not mad. You’re not in trouble. Be a good boy. Come.”

There’s only a moment of hesitance before Buddy decides it’s okay to trust me, and he comes trotting over with head up, mouth open, and brows furrowed in concern. A sight which puts a real smile on my face, because my goofy, derpy dog might not be handsome, but he sure is cute. “Good boy,” I exclaim, taking his little head gently in both hands and giving him a kiss on the nose, as well as all the scritches he can handle, but still his tail does not wag. “Yea, you’re a good boy.” Then, without warning, I lift him up into my arms and hold him close as he tries to wiggle free. “Easy boy,” I say, encasing him in softened bands of Plated Domain so he can struggle without hurting himself or escaping. “It’s okay.” It takes a few pats and kisses to calm him down, but he eventually settles into my arms with his chin on my shoulder after I turn so he can watch the Ascension. “Good boy,” I say, heaving a soft sigh of relief while massaging his head. “What’s got you all worked up today, huh?”

A small whine is his only reply as he falls still, or as still as he can. I couldn’t tell before, but he’s trembling from head to toe, his entire body quivering in unmistakable fear. This from a dog who saw my fight with Zhen Shi as little more than a game and had oodles of fun hunting Demons on the sands of Shi Bei. For a brief, horrified moment, I almost think he’s afraid of me, but then he snuggles in closer and my worries are laid to rest. It’s the Ascension that’s got him all shook up, that much soon becomes clear, but try as I might, I cannot understand why. Maybe it’s because he doesn’t understand what’s happening, but that shouldn’t be enough to scare him. He’s a sweetheart, but if a lack of understanding was enough to scare him, he’d be petrified all the time. No, there’s something more going on here, something I’m not seeing, so I extend my senses to try and solve the mystery.

The Energy of the Heavens continues to swell and roil about the Ascender, but that shouldn’t be enough to scare him. It’s a little concerning, seeing how much is gathered here and yet to be used, so much so that the Void is struggling to contain it. It’s difficult to describe, because Heavenly Energy exists in both the physical world and the immaterial one, here and there at the same time without ever committing to both. Now though, I sense it gathering here in reality before committing itself to the Void, where it pools and gathers in an unnatural state. The only analogy I can think of is the creation of a tornado, wherein a pressure imbalance gathers winds from kilometres away to create a dynamic flow that is both natural and abnormal at the same time.

And then the Void Shatters a second time.

Not here, in the space between the physical and the metaphysical world, but out there, between the Void and… the other side. The wrong side, I would say, as I catch a glimpse of what lingers in the dark, unknowable beyond. Only for a moment, one so brief it cannot be measured in any discernable unit of time, yet even then it is enough to give me nightmares for a thousand lifetimes. There is a cold, vast, emptiness out there, one capable of swallowing even the Void itself, a desolate nothingness that defies comprehension in terms of distance or scale. On some level, I’ve always known there had to be more out there, a world beyond this one, else where could my past life’s memories have come from? Now I know.

It comes from out there, outside the physical and metaphysical world, beyond even the Void itself, in another reality. Another universe. Another timeline. Another plane of existence. All of the above perhaps, or none and something else entirely. I don’t know. Regardless of the answer, the world just got a whole lot bigger, far beyond this world, this planet, this solar system or galaxy even, through a medium which transcends time and space.

Which is cool and all, but the panic will have to wait as the energy released by this second Shattering surges out from the Void into reality itself, concentrating around the unknown Ascender. The ground explodes in a surge of stone, soil, and vegetation as Buddy bolts out of my arms, and I keep an eye on him while protecting everyone present from the force of the blast. One which does more than overturn dirt and rocks to leave a crater behind; it also strips away the Concealing Domain masking the inhabitant’s presence, and it is one I recognize well. Even if I didn’t, it’s not hard to guess from the swirling barrier of coursing water protecting the newly Ascended Divinity. A thought strikes me, and overwhelming curiosity drives me to act before I think better of it, parting the aqueous shield and clouds of dust with bated breath to reveal Ping Ping in all her turtle-y glory. With eyes narrowed, legs braced, and mouth open in her iconic siege-mode, she stands at a floating disc of Plated Domain ready to take on all comers, turning this way and that to inspect the crowd until she spots me standing slack jawed and frozen in anticipation. Rather than squeak happily or run over for a pat, she lets out a plaintive cry for help, one twinned with an Aura fear and dread so colossal it threatens to strike me down where I stand, and one made more effective by the turmoil of emotions coursing through me as I lay eyes on the creature Ping Ping is so desperate to protect.

There, in the middle of the newly dug crater sits a small, white-haired toddler. Maybe a year old at most, with a round, chubby-cheeked face, two long, floppy bunny ears, and a pair nubby horns sitting dead centre in the middle of her brow. Suddenly it all makes sense, all of Buddy’s antics as he gathered up everything she’d need to Ascend. The berries, the plants, the Spiritual Heart, all fuel to ensure she would become the Divinity she is, a perfect and beautiful baby girl. Her big, round eyes are so full of burgeoning curiosity and pure, untouched wonder as she looks this way and that, taking in the unfamiliar sights of this new world before her. Interest turns to concern however as she sees the crowd staring back, a transformation which begins with a furrow of the brow, a quiver of the lips, and a big, deep breath to herald the first of many tears to come.

“It’s okay,” I say, using the soft, high-pitched tone I typically reserve for my floofs, and the transformation is startling to behold. All her fear and alarm melts away at the sound of my voice, and her eyes meet mine in a gaze that steals my heart and breath away. Her arms stretch out and reach towards me and in the blink of an eye I’m there, wrapping her in my jacket and lifting her into my arms. She’s smaller than before, so much lighter too, and though she looks nothing like how I last saw her, there is no denying the truth before my eyes. “Hey there Mama Bun,” I croon, and though the name no longer fits, she lays her head in the crook of my arm while still holding my gaze. All I see in her eyes is love and trust as I stroke her cheek with my thumb, and my knees go weak as she wraps her tiny hand around my index finger. “You’ve got nothing to be afraid of,” I say, even though it’s clear she already knows it, so calm and relaxed as I rock her gently in my arms. “I got you. Daddy’s here.”

A statement made without thought, because the decision has already been made. She knew it the moment she laid eyes on me, and I figured it out soon after. This is my daughter, my firstborn, a child not of my blood but mine all the same.

Buddy’s baying howl pierces through the moment, a gut-churning wail full of fear, despair, and desperation. It cuts right to the quick and I act without thinking, bringing my sweet baby girl in close with one hand while raising my sword with the other. The threat becomes clear as soon as I think to look for it, and my eyes are drawn towards the Void, the shattered divide between the metaphysical world and the emptiness beyond. A threat lingers out there, one which I can barely sense, yet is unmistakable all the same, for there beyond the Void exists a foreboding presence, an alien predator which sees this world, this universe, or perhaps even this reality as prey.

It is this threat which has Buddy scared. Not enough to send him running, and a surge of pride courses through me as I see him take a stand, utterly terrified yet unwilling to leave because he has something to protect. Knowing this, how can I not stand beside him? I too have much to protect. Friends, family, wives, floofs, and now my precious daughter who I only just met. For the first time in a decade, I have found reason to act, so I unleash the full extent of my strength. One with the Weapon, One with the Self, One with the World, and One with the Heavens, there is no delineation between them as I wield my power with will and Intent, one borne of my deepest desire to defend and protect all that I hold dear. There is no need for a meme or Dharmic Icon, because I have surpassed the need of such tools, and in this moment, I am become the Icon, a husband and father, son and brother, friend and leader, guardian and protector.

With Peace raised towards the Heavens, Tranquility poised to defend, and Unity circling about in search of a target, I impress my Will upon the Heavens and exert my Authority over it. A thousand swords billow into existence, each one as real and deadly as Peace, Honed to perfection and brimming with Intent. Not the Sword Intent which I wielded in Shi Bei, or I should say not just Sword Intent, but one which has surpassed the limits of a mere weapon. The clue lies within the name itself, ‘intent’, for what is Sword Intent if not the manifestation of the intent with which you wield the sword? There are a myriad of answers, and none more correct than the others, but the right answer in the right moment can magnify your strength a thousand-fold if used correctly. A Warrior fighting to defend their family is stronger than one fighting without purpose, and for the first time in a decade, I have a reason to fight.

“Um hubby?” A dainty little finger pokes me in the cheek and pulls me out of my trance. “I know you’re feeling overwhelmed with emotions and all,” Lin-Lin says, gingerly placing her hand on my wrist to indicate I should lower my sword, “But you’re scaring everyone.”

They don’t sense it, the break within the Void, but even as I open my mouth to explain it, I realize the Heavenly Energy is no longer surging out into the emptiness beyond. The break between reality is gone, no longer there where it was only a moment before, and I cannot for the life of me fathom how it disappeared. To make matters worse, Buddy heaves a little sigh and pads on over with tail a wagging, popping up to stand on his hind legs while resting his front paws on my waist so he can give my daughter a frantic sniffing. Pong Pong appears as well, posted up on top of Buddy’s head and seeming much relieved, albeit exhausted and all but done with the day. Shooting me a look I’ve long since come to recognize as hunger, he lets me know in no uncertain terms that I owe him a whole mountain of shrimp, and I have no earthly idea why.

Or at least, I don’t understand what he did to earn it. He probably deserves it, seeing how he might well have just saved all of reality as we know it from a terror beyond imagination, so I’m more than happy to foot the bill. That said, much as I would love to know what all that was about, and curious as I am to know more about what lies beyond the Void, there are more pressing matters at hand, so I dismiss my manifested swords and put away my Spiritual Weapons before presenting my – no, our daughter to my wives. They all gather round to meet the newest member of our family, and I engrave the moment into memory, every laugh, gesture, and movement. It’s so much to take in, the way our darling daughter opens her eyes wide at the sight of Lin-Lin’s hare ears, and reaches out to touch Mila’s freckles. The angelic curve of her first smile in response to Yan’s coos, the trust in affection she displays despite Li-Li’s calm but nervous approach, and the unblinking wonder in her beautiful eyes as she stares up at Luo-Luo’s perfect hair and dazzling features.

All the while, I cannot bring myself to let go of her, because she has yet to let go of my finger. She’s happy here, nestled in my arms, feels safe and protected within the shelter I provide. The urge to hold and protect her is so strong I almost cannot bring myself to show her to Buddy, who continues to paw at my waist and make pleading whimpers in hopes of seeing the baby, but as much as I love my newborn daughter, my sweet doggo was here first. “Gentle,” I say, putting a bit of steel into the command so he knows I’m serious before I kneel down so he can meet her. “She’s just a baby, so be careful.” And Buddy understands, his tail wagging up a storm of violence as he touches his nose to her cheek ever so softly, taking in her scent before backing away to shake off all his excitement. Just like that, her first laugh springs forth into existence, a sound more beautiful that any other. It continues as Buddy comes back for a second sniff, and she lets go of my finger to take his snout in both hands and look him in the eyes. Right then and there, I know they will be the best of friends, because this baby and this doggy have forged an unbreakable bond.

A bittersweet moment to be sure, because Buddy is no longer my dog, nor am I his person. He’s hers.

Not content with mine alone, My daughter has also stolen my dog’s heart away, and I can’t even be mad about it. Were it anyone else, I would swear vengeance upon my name and never rest until I got my dog back again, but even though I just met this sweet girl, everything I have is hers for the taking. Anything and everything her heart might ever desire is hers. Though not of my blood, she is mine all the same. I will fight for her. I would die for her. And it heartens me to know she’ll have a lifelong companion who will love her with all his heart. It helps keep my crippling fear and anxiety in check, because like I told Alsantset this morning, I’m not ready to be a father. Then again, she was right too, and I’m as ready as I’ll ever be, eager even to do my very best to love and provide for this sweet child of mine.

It's strange. This morning, I lived for myself and feared for tomorrow. Now, I am still afraid, because there’s more to fear than ever before, but somehow, I have courage and determination enough to face it head on. No matter what trials or tribulations lay before me, I will overcome them. I have no choice but to, because my daughter, this sweet, precious, smiling baby girl, with her beautiful laugh and velvety rabbit ears, is depending on me. I will not fail her. It’s as simple as that, no change besides one of perspective. Just as Buddy is not my dog anymore, it’s not my life either. It’s hers, and I want nothing but the best for her, including this world which I still see myself as a stranger in. No longer am I content to let things play out over time anymore. No, now, more than ever, I am driven to change the world we live in and remove the rotten infection at the heart of it all, for I hope to raise my daughter in a world which shares my values and ideals. Whether it be political machinations, Imperial plots, civil unrest, or otherworldly invaders, let them come, for then they shall soon learn a father’s wrath.

If the future is dark and full of terror, then I shall light the way. Should the Heavens crumble and fall, then I will hold them up overhead, so that my daughter and all her soon-to-be siblings can live happy and free.

I am Falling Rain. Son of Baatar and Sarnai. Brother to Alsantset and Charok. Uncle to Tali and Tate. Husband to Mei Lin, Sumila, Du Min Yan, Li Song, and Liang Xiao Luo.

And last but by no means least, I am Father to a daughter I have yet to name, but one I will love and cherish for the rest of my days.