Number One Talent in the Empire?

What a load of bull shit.

I’m not even the Number One Talent in my marriage.

With her prodigious strength and comprehensive skill, I’ve always been stuck in Mila’s shadow, and Yan’s feat of mastering the Divine Wind and External Chi is downright astonishing considering she hasn’t formed a Natal Palace. Then there’s Lin who, despite never training a day in her life, has mastered the art of Lightening to a degree which I could never hope to match, a true prodigy in the flesh. Having three magnificent future wives keeps me humble regarding my talents, but after seeing Luo-Luo’s breathtaking performance of the Forms, I’m wondering if my talents can even be considered mediocre.

I mean... c’mon! This isn’t fair. Even though she’s had her Core for over a decade, Luo-Luo literally took up the Martial Path a week ago! Before, it was all dance, poetry, art, and music, but ten days of montage training and she’s already doing awesome air kicks and chain tricks. Her performance was so sublime it bordered on the supernatural, and though her actions obeyed the laws of physics, she controlled her weapon flawlessly and made it seem alive in ways I didn’t even think were even possible. Were I to try the same, there is a one-hundred percent chance I’d injure myself. Shit, I still have to pay attention so I don’t smash my foot with Unity or accidentally impale myself while sheathing Peace, and don’t get me started on how many outfits I’ve torn because I forgot I had Tranquility strapped to my wrist.

And to top it all off, Luo-Luo is still styling on us, standing like a diva in her stupid, post performance pose. This sucks.

Noticing something I must’ve missed, Yan runs to Luo-Luo’s side and catches her as she falls. This was no stumble and trip but rather a full-on fainting spell, complete with dramatic gasp and the hand-to-forehead nonsense you see in shitty dramas. Unsure if she’s faking or if she genuinely reacted like a two-bit actress, I nonetheless head over to make sure she’s okay. Maybe it’s the cynic in me but I can’t help wonder if her whole ‘helpless sex-kitten’ act was a ruse meant to lower my guard so she could... I dunno. What if she’s a top-tier assassin sent here by the Legate to determine where my loyalties lie and eliminate me if I prove a threat to national security?

...No, that’s stupid. Not the Luo-Luo hiding her true skills part, which is still plausible, but I doubt the Legate would intentionally place an assassin at my side. Ignoring all other arguments, I’m hardly worth the effort.

Covered in sweat and gasping for breath, Luo-Luo makes for a captivating sight, even more so when cradled in Yan’s gentle embrace. One slender and petite, the other full-bodied and buxom, the juxtaposition sets my heart to racing as I imagine what it’d be like to have them both in bed. I was joking about Yan courting Luo-Luo, but now I can’t stop thinking about it. Does Yan swing both ways? The concerned look in her eyes tells me... maybe? Did Luo-Luo’s Imperial Servant training include same-sex shenanigans? Considering Red One’s many subtle and not-so-subtle propositions, almost definitely.

...

Why can’t I stop staring at Luo-Luo? Last night, she wore a dress so skin-tight her handmaidens probably sewed her into it, but I barely gave her a second glance. Today, she’s wearing a thick leather vest over a high-collared shirt and poofy silk pants which are tied off at the ankles, hardly the most erotic outfit she’s ever worn, yet somehow, I can’t take my eyes off her. Considering her bosom and butt are modestly covered, it’s difficult to pinpoint what’s got me so heated up. Maybe it’s because her cheeks are flushed with a healthy, robust glow instead of its usual pasty paleness, or her dishevelled, hair-buns and bangs plastered to her forehead, giving her an enchanting, post-workout allure.

Or maybe I’m attracted to strong women. Did getting my hand broken by Mila’s thighs awaken something in me? Or is it my self-flagellation and tooth-breaking training regimen which got me in this mess? Oh gods, am I going to turn into a sexual deviant who begs his wives to hurt him?

“Rain.” Yan’s honeyed timbre jolts me out of my spiral of self-misery and my palms instantly break out in sweat. Sweet and cordial though she sounds, she only uses this voice when she’s mad and trying to hide it. “Luo-Luo must be parched after so much exercise. Why don’t you be a dear and offer her your water-skin?” Her agreeable suggestion is subsequently followed by a scathing private Sending. “What’s the matter with you? Luo-Luo faints and all you do is stand and stare? You studied herbalism, so help her!”

Bolting into action, I fumble with my water-skin and offer it to Luo-Luo, but her arms are too weak to hold it. Holding the bag to her lips, I try to ignore the tantalizing sight and check her condition, but physically, she looks fine. Damn fine. Exhausted and dehydrated, but no visual cause for immediate concern like swelling or bruising. She’s short of breath which means I should check for heart arrhythmia, but if I touch her neck to check her pulse then it’s game over man, game over. “Are you feeling dizzy? Seeing double? Hurting anywhere?”

While waiting on her answer, my resolves slips and I imagine her greedily suckling something which isn’t my water-skin, a tantalizing fantasy I could make reality with a snap of my fingers, but I endure. You can’t sleep with Luo-Luo, no matter how much you want to, not until you have a better grasp of who she is and where her loyalties lie. After draining the water-skin dry, she leans back to rest in Yan’s arms, her chest heaving and smile sheepish as she answers between gasps. “Thank you. Lord Husband. No dizziness. Or double vision. Moderate. Muscle pain.”

Relieved and disappointed I won’t have to physically touch her, I nod and say, “Sounds like you overexerted yourself, but I’ll ask Teacher to double check when he gets back from his boat trip.”

“Your Healer’s conduct is terrible,” Yan Sends, her heated glare filling me with burning desire. “Be more gentle and compassionate, she’s your concubine not a random stranger you found on the side of the road.”

Oh no. I can’t be saved. I’m too far gone. Even verbal abuse is enough to get my gears cranking. If I didn’t have an audience of three-hundred odd cows, twenty laughing birds, and fifteen bunnies, I’d strip down and jump both women right here and right now. I still might if I see Luo-Luo suckle another water-skin, so I suppose it’s a good thing I only had the one. “You still thirsty?”

Because I sure as hell am.

Shaking her head, Luo-Luo averts her eyes and gasps, “No thank you. Lord Husband. Luo-Luo only needs. To rest.”

“Mother in Heaven, stroke her cheek, fix her hair, take her hand, do something! You don’t have to profess eternal love but at least pretend like you’re concerned.”

Between Yan’s overbearing dominance and Luo-Luo’s submissive compliance, it takes every scrap of self-determination I have to resist dragging them into my yurt for some afternoon delight. How Luo-Luo convinced Yan to side against me is the real mystery, but I hold true to my convictions and resist the sweaty, busty temptress at great cost to my sanity.

It also helps that I had sex three times this morning, but the important thing is, I endured.

While recovering her breath, Luo-Luo explains what Yan and I already suspected, that her binding ceremony is complete and her weapon bound. Clutching the flail to her chest, Luo-Luo’s smile is one of pride and satisfaction, as well it should considering what I just witnessed. Seeing as the binding ceremony takes place in one’s mind, how much one learns from it is usually left to chance, but Luo-Luo’s phenomenal performance showed she benefited a great deal from the mystical process, even if her actions were largely influenced by the echos of her ceremony and how much she retained has yet to be determined. Still I’ve never seen someone go from zero to hero so quickly before, a powerless concubine transformed into a mighty, morphing Martial Warrior after binding her first Spiritual Weapon.

She still could’ve been hiding her true skills, but I can’t rule out the other possibilities, namely her Imperial Blood and/or personal latent talent. Imperial clansmen are supposedly bad-ass to the extreme, and since Luo-Luo’s a first-generation Imperial Servant, it probably means she has a pedigree long enough to fill a bookshelf. I’m not sure how relevant bloodlines are with regards to mystical ninja hi-jinks, but a genetic predisposition to Martial Talent could explain Imperial supremacy. If their servants are this talented, what does this say about the Scions themselves? The Legate looked young for a Cloud-Stepping Expert, but I chalked it up to his noble upbringing and all the advantages which come with. What if all Imperial Scions are innately OP like Luo-Luo, an extended family of natural born warriors possessing consummate skill?

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Man... Why don’t they fight this stupid war then?

Pressured by Yan’s Sendings, I fake a smile and give the tired temptress a firm but friendly pat on the shoulder, which does little to appease my horned, headbutt-happy lover. Unwilling to sit through another scorching scolding, I say, “Congratulations. I’m sure you’re famished after all your hard work, so why don’t I cook a celebratory meal?” Luo-Luo smiles prettily and tries to refuse, but I can tell she’s happy even though Yan doesn’t think it’s enough, but I’ve got schemes. “Yan, could you head back and ask Lin to join us?” Wake her and braid her hair too. Adorable as my sweet wifey is, she could probably use a couple handmaidens of her own. “Oh, and please Send to Song and ask her to bring Mafu to carry Luo-Luo.” Good catch. She won’t want to ride Moomie, which means I’d have to carry her. It’s not that I don’t want to, but I certainly don’t trust myself to. Yan, Mila, and Lin might have fallen for Luo-Luo’s charms, but I’m wise to her tricks.

Or I’m a paranoid idiot refusing to sleep with a gorgeous woman who’s all too eager to please. Then again, that’s a huge part of why I can’t trust her. What possible reason could she have for being so interested in me? She’s gotta have an ulterior motive, but what?

“Sure.” Yan’s genuinely chipper tone throws me for a loop, her triumphant smirk announcing I’ve overlooked something. “Take my place and I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

Take Yan’s place. Behind Luo-Luo. Then be left alone. To cradle a sexy, sweaty, helpless damsel who’s desperate to seduce me.

Yea, this won’t bite me in the ass.

Unable to come up with a suitable excuse, I reluctantly slide in behind Luo-Luo, keeping my legs to one side so she can’t press up against me and my hands on her biceps so I can push her away if needed, though there’s nothing I can do about her forehead pressed against my cheek. I doubt she’ll be shameless enough to jump me in an open field, but better safe than sorry. As expected, the mere thought of sex conjures countless carnal delusions, no doubt aided by the bouquet of floral aromas and fragrant pheromones emanating from her hair and body. How is it even possible to smell this nice after a strenuous, three-hour workout? Also, even though she’s a full head taller, her shoulders are only a little wider, so the difference isn’t so obvious when we’re cuddling. If I sat with my legs open, my crotch would line up with her lower back, which isn’t the best, but if I shift her a little higher and lean back a bit more, I think we’d be groin to butt. Plus, I’d also have a perfect view down the front of her vest and the soft, milky skin of her...

“So,” I say, mostly to get away from my perverted thoughts. “Crazy binding ceremony, right?” Wow, I’m terrible at small talk. “Impressive performance too. Any questions? I committed the entire performance to memory, so if you’re unsure about anything, feel free to ask.” Near photographic recall is one of the best things about having a Natal Palace, allowing me to appreciate every step, twirl, bounce, and jiggle. I was too distracted to properly document everything my first time with Yan, and the same happened last night, but I recorded the hell out of everything this morning and it. Is. Awesome.

Brain... Stahp!

“Oh Lord Husband, it was incredible.” Breathy and erotic, her exclamation sounds a siren’s song if I’d ever heard one, but she hardly seems to notice. “Such unimaginable warmth and intimacy, this one has never felt anything like it, as if the Mother Herself descended to impart Her knowledge and guide Luo-Luo’s actions. Is it the same for everyone?”

I wish I were talented too... “Not really. Personally, I found my binding ceremonies more detached and emotionless. There’s safety and assurance, yes, but I always felt more like an audience member rather than the performer, which makes learning... difficult.” An understatement if I’d ever made one. “Like, I know how the movement is supposed to look, but lack knowledge of how it feels, so I often miss out on minor, but significant details until after a few hundred hours of practice.” Or more. Even then, it’s hard to tell if I’m doing things right, because I could still be missing something vital, like say, most of the Divine Blessing instruction manual.

Song’s timely arrival saves me from more small talk because Luo-Luo is too busy shrieking at Aurie’s spirited charge. Her ear-piercing wail sends the cattle scurrying away, but Aurie pays her no heed and sprints even faster. “Stop Aurie,” I say, but the big baby ignores the command to pounce over and repeatedly boop me in the face. Delighted by his adoring affection (and amused by Luo-Luo’s hilarious screams), I keep him away from Luo-Luo while calling for Song to help. With a clap of her hands, the animals skid to a halt and scamper to Song’s side, where they sit prettily like trained show-dogs waiting for a treat.

Why don’t my floofs ever listen to me?

After imposing on Song to help Luo-Luo onto Mafu, I run over to give my fur-babies a proper greeting. Even though I saw them yesterday, I had to kick them out of Yan’s room for happy-fun-times and they’re still not entirely convinced I’m sticking around. All of them, even grumpy Jimjam, are being extra affectionate, swarming me in a jumble of fur, fangs, and claws. The bears gurgle like stalled motorboats and Aurie Mwar’s, Myarh’s, and Myawp’s up a storm, filling me with more joy than I could ever explain as I give each of my fur-babies a hug and a kiss.

...Okay yea, now I see it. I thought they were being over-dramatic, but I can see how it totally looks like I’m being cold and aloof to hurt Luo-Luo. I’m not though, I don’t trust her and love my floofs. While I feel bad for her, certain actions must be taken to guard against temptation and avoiding physical contact is one of them.

Clingy as always, Banjo climbs onto my back while Baloo curls up in my arms, the two of them nuzzling for all their worth as if to make sure I’m really here. Too enamoured to push them off, I activate my Reinforcement Keystone and set the sparkling star to bouncing at maximum speed, which supplies barely enough strength to move beneath both bears’ weight. Smiling in fake nonchalance, I ask Song to grab the zither before setting out and make small talk with Luo-Luo. “It’s a shame we never got a chance to hear you play. Another time, perhaps.”

See? I can be nice.

Almost prone on Mafu’s back, Luo-Luo’s shy smile and protruding butt are an enticing sight as she sleepily snuggles against the warm fur. “If Lord Husband so desires it, then Luo-Luo would be happy to perform a piece later today. This one has business to attend to in the afternoon, so after dinner perhaps?”

“Nah, let’s wait until tomorrow morning,” I reply, taking a shaky step to see if I can handle carrying both bears. It’ll be difficult, but the camp isn’t far so I think I can do it. “The cattle sleep early and it’ll be harder to see their reactions in the moonlight.”

“Lord Husband wants Luo-Luo to play for cattle?

“Yea. Moomie’s herd is okay around people, but they’re not really bonding with anyone. I figured a little music might help make them less indifferent to harmless strangers and more appreciative to the company.” Wanting in on the fun, Aurie springs onto my shoulders and I freeze in my tracks, my bones buckling beneath over a half-tonne of floof. “Aurie, off please.”

As per usual, Aurie ignores the command, and just as I’m about to beg Song for help, Luo-Luo interrupts and says, “Li-Li, why don’t we ride ahead and let Lord Husband enjoy a nice stroll with his pets? We’ll start the lunch preparations, so don’t worry and take your time.” By the time she finishes speaking, Mafu is already dashing off and Song isn’t far behind, drawn away by the thought of eating lunch that much sooner and leaving me struggling beneath my furry burden.

A quiet whimper slips out as I fall to my knees and my floofs grumble at the unexpected jolt. With a curious “Mwar”, Aurie pats my head twice as if wondering why I’m not moving. “Off!” I command, unwilling to throw him from my shoulders because I’m worried he’ll panic and claw me to shreds. “Please Aurie? You’re too heavy, I can’t carry all three of you unless you learn to Lighten.”

And then, by some miracle, all three animals Lighten and I’m no longer being crushed beneath their weight. My jaw dropping as quickly as my encumbrance, I stare at the animals in conflicted admiration, because as marvellous as this is, I now know that even my pets are more talented than I am. Aurie pats my head again and I stagger back to camp in a bewildered daze, unable to make heads or tails of the situation. Blackjack knowing how to Lighten is one thing, but how did Aurie and the bears learn too? When did they even form Cores? Did they all figure it out individually or did someone teach them? Can they do anything else, like Hone or Reinforce? Are they going to live forever?

It’d be great if they did...

Amidst the cheers and jeers of my retinue, I arrive at my yurt sweaty and exhausted, barely able to handle the combined burden of the three Lightened animals. Stoking the fire with intense focus, Song greets me with a frown and points to the side, sending Aurie and the bears scurrying to join the other wildcats and rabbits in a cuddle puddle. Without skipping a beat, she points at the ingredients laid out around the fire before going back to work, ignoring me as I settle in beside her. It's amazing how far we’ve come in the last two months. Before, she would’ve shifted aside and kept me in her sights, always vigilant and guarded in my presence. Now, not only is she more comfortable, she’s even confident enough to give non-verbal orders without worrying about being punished or abused, which has the added upside of not making me feel like a horrible person whenever we’re together.

Progress, woo!

Judging by the ingredients, Song wants pork broth noodles and pan-fried mutton dumplings, but considering this is Luo-Luo’s celebratory lunch, I figure she might want to weigh in too. Unfortunately, the person in question is curled up with Mafu and fast asleep, her luscious lips twisted in a pout as if ready to cry in her sleep. Studying her out of the corner of my eye, I try to make sense of this beautiful, dramatic woman and figure out where she fits in my life. Drawing a complete blank, I instead turn my attentions to steaming up some red-bean buns for dessert, which I assume she’ll enjoy on the sole basis that everyone likes red-bean buns.

Seriously, what do I know about Luo-Luo? Pros: she’s smart, hardworking, and evidently, an incredibly talented Martial Warrior. Cons: she’s cunning, manipulative, and doesn’t love floofs, aside from Mafu, who has somehow gotten even fatter in my absence. She’s gorgeous, which is good, but her loyalties are suspect, which is bad. She says she wants to help me ‘soar through the Heavens’, but what happens if she’s forced to choose between me and the Legate? How can I trust her if she’ll spill everything she knows at the wave of a fan?

Yan wanted me to be nicer, so what I need to do is figure out how to do that without succumbing to Luo-Luo’s feminine wiles. Cold and aloof is too mean, but any warmer and I’m worried I’ll lose all self-control, so what am I supposed to do?

Go back to the front lines, I guess.

Sadly, not a viable option, at least not until I fix the mess I created by staying out there for so long...

“Hub-bbbbbbbbyyyyyyy!!” Shouting at the top of her lungs, my darling wifey Lin rides into camp with her braids and white scarf streaming behind her. Leaping off her quin into my waiting arms, I spin her about and marvel at the beautiful young woman she’s become. Though still dainty and delicate of frame, her facial features are leaner and more mature, though her mannerisms remain unchanged. Bringing her in close for a hug, she wraps her arms around my neck and squeezes tight, always happy to see me and never shy about showing it. “Hiya. I missed you.”

“Missed you more.”

“Good.” Leaning back in my embrace, Lin puckers up for a kiss and I happily oblige, planting a quick peck on her pursed lips. Cupping her plump cheeks, Lin’s eyes disappear into her toothy grin, so overjoyed she can barely contain it. Smiling so hard my cheeks hurt, I twirl her about again because I can’t stand still, so utterly enchanted by her endearing demeanour and soul-soothing smile, a breath of fresh air after a suffocating encounter. Don’t get me wrong, I love spending time with Yan and our morning was both enjoyable and enlightening, but I don’t deal with conflict well and once the topic of Luo-Luo reared its ugly head, my easygoing half-deer lover turned stubborn and intractable as a bull.

Gesturing to put her down, Lin’s smile turns mischievous and she says, “I missed your cooking too. Noodles and dumplings, you’re the best, hubby!” Patting my cheek in encouragement, she adds, “When we’re done eating, I’ll show you all the commands I taught the floofs, ya? They know Clap and Bow and Wave and Jump and...” With Lin’s lovable smile and lighthearted stories to ease my mind, I ignore Yan’s questioning look regarding Luo-Luo’s pitiful demeanour and set to cooking a delicious meal for everyone to enjoy. With no Defiled to watch out for and no life or death decisions to make, I set aside my worries for the first time in two months and enjoy this peaceful, trouble-free day.

Because Mother knows, I’ll have precious few of those in the months ahead.

Chapter Meme