Exhaling in relief, Baledagh hugged Banjo close and thanked the Mother for her mercy. Sumila’s powerful stomps fading into the distance were like music to his ears, freeing him from her ire for the next little while. Had he known she would wake up before lunch, he would have snuck off even earlier for his swim in the bay, buying himself a few hours of much needed solitude and silence. While he couldn’t hide forever, it was better than the alternative of dealing with and undoubtedly screwing up Brother’s affairs.
How did life get so complicated? Only two days ago, he’d been happily training in their Natal Palace when he noticed the ever-present Blobby had gone missing. When Brother didn’t respond to his repeated inquiries, Baledagh stepped out of the void and discovered he’d been submerged beneath a dozen meters of water in Nan Ping Bay. For the second time in his life, Baledagh found himself in sole possession of their body after almost drowning to death, except this time he had the misfortune to also be surrounded by people who knew and relied on Brother, people who would ask questions if he acted out of character. Pretending to be ‘Warrant Officer Falling Rain’ and dealing with the minutiae of daily life was stressful enough, but ‘devoted betrothed Falling Rain’ was beyond him. Adorable as she was, Mei Lin’s spoiled attitude vexed Baledagh to no end and the thought of a ‘heartfelt’ reunion with Sumila made him break out into a cold sweat. This was a woman who broke Brother’s hand during a passionate embrace. What would she do if Baledagh accidentally upset her?
The first day passed by without incident since he spent most of his time feigning infirmity inside his yurt while desperately wracking his brain for clues to Brother’s whereabouts. Aside from the room and creepy surrounding village, their Natal Palace was completely empty, with no sign of Brother or Blobby to be found. Out of sheer desperation, he brought Ping Ping back out into the bay to search for them, but his efforts were fruitless. To make matters worse, Baledagh could only hold his breath for about ten minutes at a time, which meant he spent hours paddling around Nan Ping Bay with Ping Ping and the quins, looking like he was there to play around instead of training like he claimed he was.
Mother above, Brother couldn’t have picked a worse time to disappear. Not only would Sumila be looking to spend time with her betrothed, but the Grand Conference was slated to begin tomorrow morning. As the Number One talent in the North, Brother would be expected to introduce himself before the gathered officials and present a gift to the Legate. While Baledagh knew what Brother’s intended gifts were, he wasn’t entirely clear on why they were chosen or how to present them. Then there was the whole issue with the gabby monk, who even now was lecturing him about improprieties and other such nonsense through Sending.
“...we are shaped by our thoughts, so when the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves. Your philandering ways have brought this anxiety and turmoil upon yourself and now you hide away in your yurt and cuddle your incapable bears to avoid your problems. Such actions will not save you. All are deserving of love and affection, but lust and carnality fall under the first of the Three Desires, the craving for sensual pleasures. To accept the Four Noble Truths, you must first set aside the Three Desires and...”
Wait... how did the monk know Baledagh was cuddling Banjo?
With a strangled cry of frustration, he reached for his bag of flour and threw a handful in a random direction. Seeing no void in the flour as it fell to the floor, he grabbed another handful and scattered it in a different direction. It took three more tries to find his infiltrator and Baledagh faced the floating, fading mass of flour while keeping watch for footprints on the floor. “You damned monk,” he hissed, keeping his voice low. “Your endless nattering was bad enough, but now you intrude in my private yurt? I might not be able to kill you, but if you don’t shut up and leave now, I’ll swear an Oath to never join your damned Brotherhood for the rest of my life.”
With his position exposed, the monk dropped his Concealment and bowed with hands pressed flat together, his ragged robes and chubby face covered in flour. “Eh-Mi-Tuo-Fuo, Brother SanDukkha. Why waste perfectly good flour in a fit of anger? A waste of food is a waste of life. For it to arrive here in your hands, this flour was planted, tended, harvested, ground, packed, and shipped, the cumulative efforts of several...”
After hypothetically finding the monk’s position using flour, Brother’s angry internal ravings had gone on to describe the other, unspeakable things he planned to throw, but Baledagh couldn’t bring himself to be so shameless and despicable. Instead, he chose a more direct approach. Arming himself with Peace and Tranquility, he stomped out of his yurt and waited until the monk stepped clear of the doorway to attack. Opening with Clearing the Heavens, Baledagh’s tandem thrust was easily sidestepped by the portly man. The strange pole-arm blocked Peace’s follow up slash, while the monk’s free hand remained held in prayer. Spinning on his heel, Baledagh brought Tranquility around in a backhanded slash, cutting through empty air as the monk was already several meters away. “Junior Brother,” the monk said aloud, smiling apologetically, “While this one may have overstepped his bounds by intruding, do you believe this crime worthy of death?”
Growling in fury, Baledagh advanced on the monk and shouted, “I am not.” Balance on Windy Leaf propelled him across the open ground. “Your Junior Brother!” Pierce the Horizon sent Peace lancing towards the overfed monk’s belly. So focused on his target, in Baledagh’s eyes, it almost appeared as if the sword were stuck in a layer of impenetrable air, the distance between blade and cloth unchanging as the monk matched Baledagh’s explosive charge by backpedalling away.
No matter, Brother came up with a countermeasure for just such an occasion.
Without slowing his momentum, Baledagh raised Tranquility to shield his face and directed Chi to both feet. Quickening his steps, he exploded with speed as he performed Traverses the Mountain, diving forward with an Amplified, two-footed leap. Grinning in anticipation, he braced for impact and imagined the monk’s face as Baledagh struck his fat belly with a full-bodied flying shield smash. As long as Baledagh didn’t Amplify the initial impact and follow up with Twin Horns to eviscerate him, the monk would survive with nothing more than a broken rib or two and maybe a ruptured lung.
When Brother used this combination of Forms, he broke two of Gerel’s ribs and sent him rolling across the field, a complete and utter victory against the fearsome bald warrior. It was a glorious sight and to celebrate, Brother even agreed to name the attack, deciding upon ‘Rush Hour’ after days of deliberation. Even though Baledagh thought it a strange name (how does one hurry time?), he accepted it without question and set to mastering the complicated, high-risk and high-reward maneuver to perfection.
So when Baledagh crashed into the monk’s belly, he didn’t expect his shield to glance off the corpulent sack of iron flesh and smash himself in the face.
Forget kicking an iron board, this was more like diving face first into a mountainside...
...
Blinking to clear the darkness from his eyes, Baledagh came to with a start. A firm, but gentle hand pressed him back down into the grass. Leaning over him with an amused smile, Taduk said, “Easy there, Rain my boy, easy there. Lay back and rest your head, let Teacher help you out a bit.” A warm stream of Chi flooded into Baledagh’s body, emerging from the hand on his chest and flowing up his neck and to his face in a soothing, comfortable sensation.
Scrunching his stuffed nose, Baledagh tried to breathe through it but to no avail. “My face hurts,” he said, idly wondering why he whistled when he spoke.
“I can’t imagine why,” Taduk replied, stifling a grin. “You only broke your nose. But er... Don’t speak so much... because...” Unable to resist, Taduk snorted with laughter. “You’re also missing most of your front teeth.”
Damn it.
“Eh-Mi-Tuo-Fuo.” Standing off to the side, the hateful monk bowed in prayer and began lecturing once more, though at least he was speaking out loud so it was easier to ignore him. “Such enmity, such sin. Junior Brother, anger and intolerance are anathemas to understanding. This one has caused no harm nor shown ill-will, so why treat this one with such hostility? This one is here to protect your Dharma, but some protections cannot be forced. Peace comes from within, so set aside the Three Desires and accept the Four Noble Truths. This one understands your reluctance, for this does not come easily to any, so this one has taken the effort to enlighten you in the ways of the world. For a mere discussion to induce such murderous rage tells us that there is still much work yet to be done.”
Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.
“Fucking shameless,” Baledagh hissed, spitting a bloody wad of phlegm in the monk’s general direction. “Discussion? What discussion? There is no discussion. You talk. And you talk. And you talk. But you never listen! I am not your junior brother and I never will be, so stop trying to impose your values on me. Stay out of my head, stay out of my home, and fuck off back to where you came from or I’ll carve you up and feed you to the quins.”
Making another one of his strange gestures, the monk laced his hands together and pointed his index fingers at the ground, eyes closed as if ignoring Baledagh’s words. Grabbing a clump of dirt to throw at him, Baledagh froze in place at Taduk’s disapproving look. It wasn’t stern or angry, but sad and disappointed, filling Baledagh with shame and contrition. Swallowing his anger, Baledagh let go of the dirt and laid back down, concentrating on the Healing energies running through him.
Shit... With Brother gone, how was Baledagh supposed to Heal?
“Um, Teacher,” Baledagh mumbled, trying to keep his whistling to a minimum. “I was hoping to go out into the water for a few hours to uh... seek Enlightenment, and uh... I’m supposed to appear before the Legate tomorrow, so er... Could you Heal my injuries for me?”
“Happy to, Rain my boy.” After a long pause, Taduk raised both eyebrows in a surprised expression and asked, “You’re not going to watch me Heal you?”
“Ah... er no. My uh... head hurts too much.” Thankfully, Taduk accepted the blatant lie without question and Baledagh soon felt his nose shifting back into place and new teeth erupting from his gums. It’s not that he didn’t want to watch Taduk Heal, but he wasn’t exactly sure how to. Healing was Brother’s purview, along with most other things like commanding troops and social niceties. Baledagh was just here to fight, but lately, Brother didn’t even need him for that. In truth, his was a useless existence, but Brother was a sentimental fool who refused to let Baledagh fade into obscurity.
Therefore, even though this might be his one chance at true, meaningful existence, Baledagh never thought to abandon his brother. He would do everything in his power to restore Brother to his rightful place, though at the moment, things were looking dire. He had no clues regarding Brother’s disappearance, only that he was in the midst of Awakening out in the bay. It’s not like Baledagh could ask too many questions either, people were already starting to look at him strangely. Dastan and Rustram balked when he told them to handle everything by themselves and Alsantset frowned when he bowed out of watching the twins. Even Mei Lin thought it suspicious when he crafted the ugliest of laurels for Sumila, his first time crafting anything without a knife. Helpless and out of his depth, Baledagh could only watch while his borrowed persona fell apart at the seams.
Why didn’t he go with his first instinct and fake memory loss?
It only took a handful minutes for Taduk to Heal all of Baledagh’s injuries, after which they grabbed Mama Bun and left the monk standing there to chant his sutras. Heading down to the beach, they loaded up into the skiff with Guan Suo and Guard Leader and followed Ping Ping out into the bay. Marvelling at her sleek, agile movements, Baledagh finally felt safe enough to relax, knowing none of the other occupants were prone to asking questions. Taduk was happy to leave things be and the other two simply didn’t care. With the monk gone, this was Baledagh’s new safe favourite place, out here on the open waters of Nan Ping Bay.
Maybe there would be another shark attack, that might be fun. Baledagh never had a chance to see the fearsome looking creatures in action, but Brother’s stories made them sound formidable indeed.
Once Mama Bun stopped guiding them in any particular direction, Baledagh disrobed and jumped with a splash, only remembering his harness after the fact. It wasn’t too important though, with the water all around him, he felt safe and protected, like he was inside his Natal Palace with Blobby watching over him. Or at least, that’s how it used to be. Now, the void stretched out in all directions and he found the endless darkness and absolute stillness unnerving. With Brother missing, Baledagh still spent an inordinate amount of time in there, but that only made the days feel longer in comparison.
Surfacing for air, Baledagh paddled about and set to work finding Brother. This was where he’d been before vanishing from their shared mind and body, but how was Baledagh supposed to find something imperceptible and ineffable like a soul? He tried channelling Heavenly Energy, circulating his Chi, Sending into the water, and even screaming while submerged, but nothing worked. Brother was gone and Blobby with him, which meant Baledagh was all alone and stuck with a life which wasn’t his.
Mother’s sagging tits, what happened to Brother? Did Blobby eat him? It wasn’t too far a stretch, the Heavenly Tear’s motives had always been a mystery, and it did try to eat Baledagh at one point. Maybe Blobby was here to devour Spectres and Demons but grew unhappy because they hadn’t fed it enough in recent times, so it ate Brother’s soul instead. No, that couldn’t be possible, there’s no way Brother would have gone down without a fight, unable to even alert Baledagh to his troubles. No, Brother was still alive, he had to be, and given time, he would make his way back from whatever adventure he was on. Until then, it was Baledagh’s job to hold down the fort and carry on as if nothing were out of the ordinary.
Everything would work out eventually. It had to.
Diving back under, he took a break to watch Ping Ping scour the sea floor for food, snapping up a hidden squid here or a large crab there. The quins did what they could to help by driving schools of fish towards her, but Ping Ping had a prodigious appetite and these were but bite-sized morsels. The only way she’d truly be sated is if she caught a kraken swimming about, but the poor turtle had no such luck, likely having scared off all the larger prey in the area. Reluctant to stray too far from his side, Ping Ping quickly cleared out the surroundings of food and not even the quins could corral fish from afar. Feeling bad for the big girl, he surfaced to tell Taduk his plan and after getting the okay, he called Ping Ping to his side.
“Hello sweetling,” he said, patting her neck as he grabbed hold of her shell. “All right then. Now you go swim wherever you please, I’ll be right here with you.”
Squeaking in delight, Ping Ping swam away from the skiff, slowly at first as she made sure he wouldn’t abandon her, but gradually picking up speed as her anxiety lessened. Whooping in sheer delight, Baledagh urged her onward as they cut through the waves, faster than any boat could ever travel. Tucking one leg against her chest, she held him close and dove down into the watery depths, setting Baledagh’s ears to popping from the pressure. He felt no fear or apprehension, only unbridled glee as he watched Ping Ping snap up all manner of sea life before bringing it back up to the surface to consume in peace.
They did this many times more and made a wide loop around the skiff with Ping Ping successfully catching something to eat each time, a marvellously efficient and effective hunter. Delighted to see her so happy, Baledagh patted her neck and wondered how long she’d stick around without Brother here to feed her the special water. Baledagh didn’t understand what Brother did to make it so alluring to Ping Ping, but if she loved it enough to go hungry for several days in a row, then it must be important.
How difficult would it be to replicate Brother’s efforts?
Cupping his free hand, he lifted it out of the bay and concentrated on the water left in his palm. It was supposedly like binding a weapon, but Baledagh hadn’t been conscious when Brother bound Peace and Tranquility. He understood the theory well enough, to accept the Spiritual Weapon as a part of you, let your Chi flow through it and bind it, but saying it was much easier than doing it. How was he supposed to make this water a part of him?
Well... there’s one easy way...
Maybe Ping Ping wasn’t here to drink Brother’s chi-water, but trying to show him the way. Lowering his lips, he drank a mouthful of water and felt the cold, refreshing liquid settle into his empty belly. Closing his eyes, he slipped into Balance and directed his Chi to his belly and the water within. The water churned a bit but settled soon after, unresponsive to his efforts. Why? The water was technically a part of his body, right? Or maybe not. Only after digestion would it truly become a part of him, entering his bloodstream to nourish his muscles and organs, but then it would no longer be water. When was the proper time to bind it then? Before or after it turned into piss?
Eww.
No, his line of thinking was wrong. Peace and Tranquility weren’t physically a part of him, but rather metaphysically. So too must the water be a metaphysical part of him. Stepping out of his body and into the void, Baledagh gazed upon Brother’s creation, the small room sitting atop a high cliff and overlooking the beautiful replica of the village. He always found the village a little sad, if truth be told. It was an exquisite work of art, but that’s all it was. No one would ever mistake it for reality. The shadows never shifted because the sun never moved, the grass didn’t blow because the wind didn’t exist, the clouds never drifted and the rivers never flowed. It was nothing more than a peaceful moment pulled from memory and preserved in their Natal Palace as something to remind Brother of better times.
Turning to the void around him, he gazed into the darkness and shivered. It was better when Blobby was here, better when Brother was around, but without them, Baledagh would have to make do. Summoning Peace and Tranquility into existence, he studied both Spiritual Weapons with all his senses, feeling his Chi flow through them like they were a part of his flesh and blood. Holding onto this sensation, he reached for the water sitting inside his belly, inviting it not just into his body, but into his Core and into his Natal Palace. Only then could it truly be considered a part of him, bonded to him as he was bonded to Peace and Tranquility.
Upon opening his eyes, Baledagh found the afternoon had come and gone, with early evening in full effect. Under Ping Ping’s curious gaze, he grinned and winked back. “Thank you Ping Ping. Now let’s see how you like it,” he said, teasing the sweet animal. Drawing a deep breath, he displayed his new skill for her to see, spitting a small stream of chi-water into the bay.
Cackling in euphoric glee, Baledagh leaned back and floated in the bay, basking in his success. True, this skill couldn’t really be called useful. The tiny stream had immediately dissipated, couldn’t be reused, and took three or four hours of hard work to bind. It wasn’t much, but this was Baledagh’s first real achievement, something he’d accomplished all on his own, without aid from Spectres, Brother, or anyone else.
Now if only he had someone to celebrate this milestone with...
Chapter Meme