The Azure Sea is a marvel of nature, one which never ceases to amaze me.

First of all is the sheer scale of the whole thing, a body of water so immense it feels as if it stretches on into infinity. Having been privy to Pong Pong’s Natal Palace and given the full tour, I know better than most what lays hidden within its depths and thus have a greater appreciation for its vast, untold secrets, for despite his long life and extensive travels, the tiny terrapin has yet to explore the sea in its entirety. There is much beauty hidden within these familiar waters, but there are also an abundance of hidden threats as well, for even a Turtle Divinity does not reign supreme within the dark depths of the Azure Sea. Even whilst Concealed and Cloud-Stepping high above the clouds, I cannot shake the sensation of menace and peril emanating from beneath the waves as the shore recedes into the distance behind us and we move into uncharted waters where few humans have ever gone before.

To say the Azure Sea is teeming with life is wholly accurate and yet somehow still utterly lacking as a description, a fact we are made well aware of as we Cloud-Step over the sea. Without the foggy mist to obscure our vision, the sunlight pierces through the crystal clear waters to reveal all manner of sea creatures swimming about, from schools of tiny fish darting through verdant undersea forests, to huge pods of massive whales surfacing for air and messing with my sense of perspective. In the short span of a few minutes, I spot more unique and interesting creatures than I can count, including what I can only hope is a massive kraken because I’d rather not live in a world where that gargantuan tentacled son of a bitch is considered small. To make matters worse, the kraken is entangled with what appears to be a giant eel of some sort, a vibrant green serpent thicker than most trees and with a nightmarish mouth filled with more fangs than I care to think about. Despite our best efforts to go unnoticed, our passing is noted by both creatures as they establish a temporary truce and untangle from one another while we pass by overhead, only to presumably resume hostilities as soon as we’re out of sight.

Resisting the urge to Scry on their battle and cheer for the scary sea snek, I repress a shudder of sheer terror as we pass several more undersea conflicts to the same effect. In retrospect, it would’ve been much safer to travel along shore, but Dad’s tried this before, and every time his Conceal Experts were somehow discovered and Huanhuzi turned tail and ran before they arrived. The same thing happened when Dad hid Peak Experts on his ships, so I came up with the brilliant idea to travel out of sight from shore during our meetings and everyone just ran with it without a second thought. Now that we’re here over open waters however, I find myself constantly checking the sun to make sure I know which direction to run in should things go south. There’s a good reason why all sea-bound ships are coastal hugging vessels, because the biggest and baddest sea creatures tend to stay away from there. Not out of fear, but simple logistics, since they need more room to swim around than the shallows will allow, and there are times even this isn’t enough to dissuade them from paying water-borne landlubbers a visit, as I myself discovered while swimming in Nan Ping Bay.

As things stand, I’m not the only one having second thoughts about our little jaunt, as grim determination permeates throughout our Peak Expert party, all Concealed together and visible to one another, but invisible to anyone outside our group. I don’t understand how it works, but that’s how it be, and I try not to think about it too hard for the sake of my safety and sanity. I’m grateful it works this way though, because otherwise it’d be hell to coordinate and stick together if we couldn’t see one another. Kuang Biao and the Royal Guardians are going about their business as usual, but the Western Peak Experts and the Azure Ascendants have stopped bandying Sendings about and are wholly focused on the horizon in search of the Concealed pirate fleet. Even poor Rakky senses the tension in the air, his hackles raised and tail lashing as he bounds gracefully through the air as if running on solid ground. Oddly enough, he also moves closer to my side as if seeking solace in my presence, though in all likelihood, Pong Pong is the one Rakky is counting on, should things go sideways.

And for good reason too. Hiding in my hair, Pong Pong is having the time of his life as he radiates all sorts of good vibes towards me. The crazy little guy even wanted to stop for a bite to eat when he saw the kraken and sea snek, emitting a predatory Aura that spoke volumes to his intent. It’s entirely possible the two sea monsters stopped fighting not because they sensed so many Peak Experts travelling overhead, but rather were cowed by the presence of the Divine Turtle Emperor returned to his realm.

Now that I think about it, those sea monsters probably aren’t even the top of the food chain, given how I’ve seen Ping Ping return with one of the kraken’s cousins mostly in her belly, which begs the question of just what in the world is Pong Pong afraid of? There’s something out there that drove him out of the depths of the Azure Sea and into the shallows around Nan Ping where GangShu could track him. This means there’s some beastie out there who is so scary and powerful even a Divine Beast of Pong Pong’s calibre turned tail to run, and while the tiny turtle is something of a coward, given how he reacted to the sea serpent and kraken, it’s clear he would only run from a real threat.

Another Divine Beast maybe? A shark or kraken would be my first guesses, but honestly, it could really be anything at all, some ancient dinosaur full of fangs and fury or an armoured crustacean with shell-cracking claws. I just hope none of them have learned how to Cloud-Step and are safely ensconced underwater, because the last thing I need is for a fucking flying fanged fish to come rocketing out of the waters and ruin my day.

Unable to stop the cold shiver from coursing down my spine, I redouble my vigil and scan my surroundings for signs of anything out of place. Were I able to go back in time, I would choose a safer, more prudent approach, but we’re too far now to back down. In order to ensure our best chances of catching Huanhuzi off-guard, we’ve taken a heading that will bring us around the flank of the Enemy fleet to pincer them from behind, with the plan being that we strike fast and strike hard to cause maximum chaos while the cannoneers set up on the decoy freighter and annihilate the pirate ships one by one. If we turn back now, the Enemy will soon discover its hold devoid of gold or anything of value whatsoever, and they’ll be gone long before we can catch them, rendering all our efforts useless. We’ll also lose the guards stationed aboard and have travelled all this way for nothing, which is a significant cost in time and man-power that could have been put to better use elsewhere.

There’s no helping it though. I brought all these Peak Experts to not only secure victory against the pirate fleet, but also because I needed extra hands to carry the Runic Cannons and cannonballs. Better to take turns sharing the heavy load to ensure the Azure Ascendants have enough Chi left in the tank to unload everything we have at the Enemy ships. This dilemma brings to mind an old idea Lin-Lin brought up which I once thought was ludicrous to the extreme, but now that I’m able to Cloud-Step myself and have thought about it some more, the idea of using a kite or hang glider doesn’t seem too far-fetched. It would for sure make travelling much easier and save on Chi expenditure, even after factoring in the need to Conceal the device as well. I could also rig up something like a hang-glider palanquin, with room for four or so Peak Experts to carry the Runic Cannon while a fifth Warrior mans the weapon itself, creating a mobile platform to rain death upon the Defiled from on high.

Holy shit... Now that I think about it, the cannons aren’t even necessary. I could just fill the palanquin with heavy rocks and just drop them from high above, enabling Peak Experts to go on aerial bombing runs with minimal Chi expenditure. Not only that, it would probably be so much fun gliding around the skies with Lin-Lin and the twins safely strapped and seated inside, which as I recently realized is really the whole reason I’ve dedicated myself to the Martial Path in the first place, to do cool shit. I’ll have to rig something to protect the riders from harsh winds and maybe have a parachute system in case things go pear-shaped, but the more I think about it, the more motivated I am to get word back to Diyako so he can start work on a prototype to test out.

In the interest of operational security, Dad utilizes hand signs to let us know the Enemy fleet has revealed itself to our decoy and the on-board Experts are Sending distress calls as expected. A total of fifty-five proper ships as well as a sizable number of smaller escorts which are only manned by three to five pirates a piece, but those smaller vessels are more or less negligible in the grand scheme of things. More importantly, Huanhuzi’s flagship is present as well, likely due to information ‘leaks’ detailing the strength of the on-board crew, one formidable enough to warrant a personal appearance from the King of Bandits himself. So far so good, since this means the half-badger has taken the bait, and now it’s up to us to close the trap around him. Minutes pass in tense silence as we slow our approach, Lightening for all we’re worth as we drift closer towards our target on momentum and gravity alone. To maintain all stealth, no external Chi is used, whether it be Scrying, Cloud-Stepping, Sending, or anything else, only internal Lightening keeping us in the air as we slowly and quietly resist gravity’s pull while floating down to the waters below.

Honestly, Lightening is probably the second coolest Chi skill next to Cloud Stepping. The others are so combative, but Lightening is just fun. No wonder my sweet wifey puts so much effort into mastering it, as she’d probably have a blast floating this high in the air, fluttering about in the currents as the winds push her about, a feat even the Peak Experts around me are unable to replicate. I myself count my efforts as sub-par when it comes to Lightening, as it still feels like I’m plummeting down, just not as quickly as I would without the skill. It’s not flying, but falling with slow and graceful style, my arms and legs outstretched and robes flapping wherever they can whilst constrained within my golden Imperial armour.

Which is only steel and of almost no defense at all against Huanhuzi’s axe and cutlass, his dual Spiritual Weapons which I will soon face in single combat if all goes according to plan.

Seconds pass in slow and agonizing fashion as the sails pop up in the distance and the pirate fleet comes into view. The sleek vessels dart through the waves in every which way to surround the ponderous, ‘gold’ laden decoy freighter, keeping it from fleeing to shore like wolves encircling their prey before running it down. Why the Enemy is even interested in gold is a mystery to me, but Yuzhen also included a bunch of rare materials in the shipping manifests, including the ingredients needed to carve runes. A brilliant move I never would’ve thought of, but considering how effective the Runic Cannons have proven to be, there’s no doubt in my mind that Zhen Shi is doing everything he can to uncover OuYang Yuhuan’s location to remove her from the equation. Thankfully, Luo-Luo took this into consideration the moment she discovered how powerful these cannons truly were and had the Tyrant relocated to a safe space, one known only to a select few and a place I will not even think about for fear of Zhen Shi’s unknown abilities.

A touch too paranoid? Maybe, but that doesn’t mean I’m wrong. At least I know my Runic Cannon maker will be well protected, alongside the bell-founder whose name I can never remember, off wherever they are and making my weapons of war.

Credit where it’s due, the pirate fleet knows what it’s doing and does their jobs well. The tiny escort ships are called cutters, bearing multiple sails on their already cramped decks, and a host of them forge ahead before the slower pirate vessels have finished encircling the freighter. Surging over the waves with reckless abandon, the cutters make no maneuvers to avoid the storm of bolts launched their way by the beleaguered defenders. A surge of triumph wells up as I watch a massive ballista bolt scuttle a single ship, but then my blood runs cold as the cutters each reveal a massive spiked column at the bow of their ships, a weapon which looks suitable for hunting kraken or whales. Having read up on their tactics, what comes next is still shocking to behold as the pirate cutters ram headlong into the freighter, which from my aerial perspective brings to mind a scene of house cats trying to bring down an elephant. The size difference almost seems ridiculous and one might think the freighter untouchable, but the audible crack of wood echoes across the Azure Sea as the cutters slam into their target, the sound piercing though the deafening winds to be heard from even so high above. Many of the pirate cutters fail to pierce the freighter’s frame, and the impact launches many more pirates off into the water, but more than enough succeed to achieve their goal. With their payload delivered, the pirates onboard those successful vessels hurl their anchors overboard, ones affixed to the spiked columns now embedded in the side of the freighter. Carefully coordinating their drops together to keep from toppling their prey, the pirates whoop with joy at a job well done, even as some of their allies are struggling to stay afloat, having taken damage and lost sailors in the reckless ramming attempt. That being said, they’ve accomplished their goals, for the Imperial vessel is now also stuck in place as its hull groans and strains from the stress of being pulled and pushed in two directions, the full sails and heavy anchors threatening to rip the ship apart.

Forced to waste precious manpower taking down the sails, the Imperial vessel’s barrage of bolts visibly slows as the larger ships finish encircling their prey. Now comes the moment of truth, and I watch with bated breath, waiting to see if Huanhuzi will personally lead the attack. If he does, then great, because that means he’ll be closer to the Imperial freighter when we ambush him, meaning Dad and the other Peak Experts will be nearby to support me in my duel. Alas, my luck does not hold and the Bandit King’s signature ship remains floating on the outer perimeter while his subordinate vessels close in to subdue and secure the freighter.

Okay then. Plan B it is.

Seconds before the pirates are within range to begin boarding the freighter, Dad gives the signal to attack, and the results are fantastic to behold. Dropping his Concealment, Lei Gong lets loose with a rowdy whoop before triggering his Runic Cannon in time with his comrades, and the ensuing booms are panic-inducing to allies and enemies alike. More than one Imperial Peak Expert is startled by the earth-shattering roar, but the pirates below are left quivering in sheer terror as the King of Pirate’s personal ship topples over sideways in the water and begins to sink, sporting five new ragged wounds on both flanks where the heavy iron projectiles have blown clean through.

The seas are alive with the sound of cannon fire, and I could not be more erect. God that’s hot.

Effective as their initial attack might be, it unfortunately takes a little longer than usual before the Ascendants are ready for their second volley, seeing how the recoil from these massive hand-held cannons sent their near weightless bodies tumbling head over heels through the air. Something we expected and practised for beforehand, so the five former bandits find their bearings and release their hold on Lightening, causing them to plummet out of the skies as they reload for a second volley. Visibly slowing once they resume Lightening once more, they use the jolt from the sudden reduction in speed to secure the cannonballs into the base of the cannons, a necessity in order for the weapon to work properly. Though only a few seconds have passed, they’ve already fallen quite low, and are only able to unleash a second volley and sink the ship closest to Huanhuzi’s personal vessel before having to Cloud-Step their way over to land on the freighter’s solid deck.

The biggest bottleneck is my lack of cannons, as the Tyrant has still yet to wholly master the manufacturing process and cannot craft them as fast as I would like. If I had forty cannons and people to fire them, I could sink this entire fleet in less than ten volleys, but at the rate she makes them, it might well be an entire year before I have that many at my disposal, if not longer. There’s no guaranteed time-frame for manufacturing since a single mistake means she has to start over, and the large, dragon-shaped cannons are packed to the brim with runes on every scale and surface of the weapon itself, making it quite possibly the most complex and ambitious Runic device in existence.

Which means the vast majority of these pirate ships will have to be dealt with the good old fashioned way, but I am more than willing to give it a try. Dad has overall command in the battle, freeing me up to wreak havoc wherever I please, with only Kuang Biao and the Royal Guardians to watch over me. It’s frightening to have this much freedom on the battlefield, but also exhilarating to be given a chance to really cut loose, my excitement mounting as I can finally gauge how far my strength has really come.

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Still Concealed from prying eyes, I use Aura to inform Pong Pong and Rakky to stay safe as I hurtle towards yet another ship, my Domain emerging to cover my skin and protect me from the sheer force of my descent. Thankfully, the tiger is more than happy to stay in the air, though Pong Pong offers an Aura of warning and assurance, telling me he’s ready to step in if I should need him. An offer which is all the more precious considering I can sense how scared he really is, terrified by the scent of blood and loud noises emanating from far below, as well as what these things might attract. Good to know that whatever scares Pong Pong is drawn to blood, but we should be close enough to shore that it shouldn’t matter too too much, since he deemed the shallows safe way back when he was fleeing pursuit from the Ascendants. Putting away all errant thoughts, I focus all my efforts on the battle before me and stop fighting the smile that threatens to stretch out across my face.

Because let’s be honest for a second. I hate war, and I see killing as an unpleasant necessity, but god fucking dammit, do I love fighting.

Being the awesome, Cloud-Stepping, Domain Deploying, meme loving Warrior that I am, my first instinct is to do a superhero landing on the deck of the ship, which just goes to show how stupid I really am. Thankfully, I have a loving, albeit overly optimistic father who has finally accepted that I will never learn if left to my own devices, so he sat me down before embarking on this mission and had me walk him through how I expected things to go. The superhero landing was the first thing to go, as he rightly pointed out that Spiritual Heart or not, given the magnitude of the forces involved, trying to land on the ship at high speeds will rightly end with me and two broken legs, which is really the best case scenario. The worst case scenario is instant pancaked death, while a happy medium would be broken legs and a broken ship deck, none of which is ideal.

As such, I wait until the last second to Lighten for all I’m worth and execute the gentlest of Cloud-Steps before hitting the deck, arresting all my momentum to land softly with one foot on the deck. The transfer is abrupt and unsettling to experience as the wind suddenly stops howling and the sound of the world comes back into focus. Creaking wood, flapping sails, startled curses, and bellowed shouts, all this and more filters into my ears as I arrive shrouded in Concealment, but no less than six formidable pirates stand out from the rest as they react to my presence with readied bloodlust. Swords and axes hurtle through the air as these pirates unleash their Domains and close in around me, but I landed with one foot raised for good reason. My boot slams down to unleash a Mountain Collapsing Stomp, and the ship groans and shrieks in response as the Amplified and Reverberating forces surge outward in all directions to tear the vessel apart. Using the same motion to launch myself into the air, I Cloud-Step away as the sundered ship capsizes in two parts, consigning the thirty or so sailors and more than twice that number of boarders to the drink, a thought which elicits an almost child-like glee from deep within my troubled psyche.

So many people are going to die here today, Imperial and Defiled alike, but not only do these pirates kinda deserve it, being overpowered is just so much fun! Granted, Mitsue Juichi’s Mountain Collapsing Stomp would’ve reduced the whole ship to splinters and probably sent a wave of water billowing out in all directions, but he’s got close to a hundred years of experience on me which means I have plenty of room for improvement.

Elsewhere, Gao Changgong’s army of submersibles have surfaced and are scuttling ships as they please, his Western soldiers swarming the ships of their hated Enemies and unleashing a reckoning to behold, all while the Azure Ascendants unleash volley after volley with their Runic Cannons. Here and now however, the Enemy Experts are not content to leave me unchecked, leaping off the ship to continue their pursuit, but the six skilled pirates soon discover they’ve kicked an iron board as my Royal Guardians swarm in and cut them down from above. As I noted during my exchange against Bai Qi, few Warriors care to train in aerial combat given how draining and dangerous it can be, but there can be no victory here without taking a few risks. Standard battlefield tactics dictate we must carefully conserve the strength of our Peak Experts so that we always have something in reserve to deal with any unexpected Demons, but I’ve brought more than enough Royal Guardians to go all in without the need to hold anything back.

I hope.

Devouring Chi to replenish what I’ve spent, I pick out my next target and Cloud-Step over, still cloaked in Concealment and invisible to all except the strongest of Enemy pirates. Rather than aim for the deck however, I soar through the air and raise both boots to drop kick the side of the ship with yet another Mountain Collapsing Stomp. Having only had a second to gather my Chi, this second stomp is nowhere near as impressive as the first, merely blowing a hole in the side of the ship and sending it careening over into the sea. That’s still enough to capsize the ship as it drifts listlessly on its side and starts taking on water, but I land lightly on the fractured side and take a few seconds to unleash a second Stomp for good measure, wholly breaking the ship in two with a satisfying crunch. Again, the Enemy Experts close in to attack me, and again, my Royal Guardians dispatch them with ease, and I head off to smash another ship, enjoying the sensation of cutting loose and running roughshod over my foes.

To be fair, it’s not all fun and games as the goal is to attract so much attention that the hidden head honcho Huanhuzi comes out to deal with me himself, but until such a time, I’m solely on ship smashing duty, and by god is it therapeutic. Zhen Shi has done a real number on my psyche and made me feel like a worthless, good-for-nothing coward, a mindset I am still struggling with each and every day, but now it’s finally time for some good old-fashioned payback. “I’M ON A BOAT!” I howl, while smashing into the third ship, giving into my whims and doing a 720 spin roundhouse kick like I’m some character in a silly fighting game. Oddly enough, even though both took the same amount of time and Chi, this Mountain Collapsing Stomp is more powerful than the second stomp I unleashed, shattering the hull so completely the other side breaks apart from the stress of trying to hold the ship together. Without needing to consider the question, the answer comes to me in a burst of Insight as I put together the pieces and realize my heightened fervour and uninhibited demeanour are lending more power to my attacks, the emotions fuelling my Chi and surging out in a torrent of destructive force. Unable to contain my cackles of glee, I set my inner memester free and crash into the next ship with a guillotine heel kick, screaming, “FUCK THIS SHIP IN PARTICULAR!”

Honestly, even though I know I should be embarrassed, I’m having too much goddamned fun to care.

Unfortunately, now I feel obliged to shout something stupid before destroying another ship, which is really just a waste of Chi and giving warning before I strike, which makes it 3x stupider than it already is. Thankfully, the Heavens have mercy on me as I approach my next target and Dad Sends, “The ship before you is a trap. Huanhuzi lies in wait.”

Sending back an acknowledgement, I approach my target from a different tack, ordering my Royal Guardians to move in with caution as I descend down to the Azure Sea. Exerting my Chi the same way I would when swimming in my Natal Palace, I plunge feet first into the water without so much as a splash, a necessity when trying to chase down turtles so as not to alert them of my presence. Submerged within the familiar waters of the Azure Sea, I am wholly in my element as I cut through the waves with ease, a silent human missile guided unerringly towards my target. Moving faster than I can even Cloud-Step, I jet past the ship’s hull and along the side of its keel while bracing Unity to one side, the blade biting deep into the wood to carve out the bottom of the ship from bow to stern. Freed from the weight of the ship, the shaved length of wood shoots up to the surface as water surges into the now-sinking vessel, though at a pace slow enough for my purposes.

Turning about to face the ship again, I spread my arms on both sides and deploy my Domain to slow my momentum, throwing up a spray of water behind me. Before the droplets have reached their peak, I Cloud-Step up onto the deck alongside my Royal Guardians, who even now are receiving Sendings regarding the locations of our Concealed foes, ones handled by Buddy manning the Throne of my Natal Palace. Were it Baledagh or another Natal Soul in his place, the warning would come in words and my Royal Guardians would have to interpret the message, but being a dog, Buddy is able to Send a location without needing to use words at all, simply directing their attentions to wherever he senses a threat with little more than a thought. Again, the fruits of Dad’s lessons are bearing fruit, because before, Buddy would also growl and bark while Sending this information along, which was needlessly embarrassing, to say the least.

Thank god my dog is well-trained and never takes action without permission. The last thing I need is for him to Send weird doggy thoughts to people and animals around me...

My training and efforts pay off in spades as we fall upon our foes without warning. Not expecting this all out assault, dozens of Huanhuzi’s personal guards fall before our blades, including the three I personally dispatch with Peace as it zips out of my sheath and darts about like a creature with a mind of its own. Gerel brought up a good point about how in a battle of Peak Experts, seizing the initiative is the key to victory, which wasn’t exactly the point he was trying to make, but that’s what I took away from it, and I am nothing if not an opportunist.

“Surprise Motherfucker,” I shout, even as I execute Akanai’s signature Ground-Shrinking Strike, a name I only recently learned. Balance on Windy Leaf into Pierce the Horizon, all while laughing at my own joke and mentally adding, “Some pies, Motherfucker.”

It astounds me how much useless knowledge I have locked away in my head, but at least it keeps me amused.

Unity lances out to take my Concealed foe’s life, but Huanhuzi’s life is not so easily claimed. The self-proclaimed King of Bandits has never been considered a formidable Peak Expert, merely a passable one that excels at slipping away, or at least that’s what Major General Gao Changgong claimed. Or I suppose I should call him Gao Liang now, but it’s kinda embarrassing that he took the Common word for ‘rain’ and used it as his name, for reasons which escaped me until Yan pointed it out while laughing as I came to terms with my growing male fanbase. That being said, the formidable former Major General stated in no uncertain terms that Huanhuzi’s martial prowess was sub-par at best, citing various incident in which the self-styled King of Pirates was defeated in single combat by Warriors of middling renown.

It turns out the Siegebreaker Gao Changgong might’ve smashed his head against one too many gates, because the Huanhuzi before me is anything but sub-par.

Reacting faster than I previously believed possible, Huanhuzi’s curved hand-axe latches onto Unity’s haft and pulls it aside, a maneuver that takes much more skill and finesse than simply smashing the thrust aside. For his efforts however, the half-badger now has my weapon trapped as he pulls it back towards him, forcing me to overextend to the left instead of doing the smart thing and letting go of my weapon. The cutlass bites deep into my exposed right shoulder, an attack which somehow is perfectly timed with the careening lurch of the ship beneath us, denying me the chance to dive aside as I fight to stand on two feet. For once though, my short stature works to my benefit as Huanhuzi pulls Unity so far it forces me to raise it above my head, intercepting his own attack and preventing the cutlass from cutting clean through my shoulder and torso. Despite this, my wound is deep and I am no longer the quick-Healing Undying I once was, as even stopping the bleeding takes a significant amount of Chi, and I set to Devouring more to make up for the losses.

Releasing my hold on Unity far too late, I quick-draw Peace and deliver a slash across Huanhuzi’s belly, Tiger Swipes the Rushes, but the pirate utilizes the sway of the ship to his own advantage once more to roll away out of range from my short reach. Unity goes flying off into the distance, and as I exert my will to call it back to my hand, my foe uses this momentary distraction to set upon me. A flurry of blows rain down from every possible direction, and I dodge, Deflect, parry, and block for all I am worth, using everything I’ve learned in the past few weeks to fight my way out of this corner. Huanhuzi holds the advantage now, his unorthodox style throwing me for a loop as I try to get ahead of his next move. I came into this thinking he’d have a more unrestrained attack pattern, given how both his weapons are hack and slash with little else to offer, but the half-badger is a cunning combatant who uses the hooked bottom of his axe-head to great effect, trapping or pulling my weapons aside to create an opening where I should otherwise have been defended.

Up close and personal, Huanhuzi is not so formidable or imposing, a scruffy, stubbly, bald-headed, ruffian with more scars than I can count and a fine handlebar moustache that falls straight down to frame his snaggle-toothed scowl like a horseshoe of hair. Beady, narrow eyes and a narrow pointed face round out the rest of his features, all of which is set upon a lithe figure exuding cold, unrelenting threat. Rather than Runic steel, the Bandit King is clad in a black studded-leather chest-piece over a dark silk tunic. The Runic armour sits loosely on his shoulders and can easily be slipped out of should he find himself stranded in deep waters, and I assume the shirt is much the same. A red handkerchief hangs from his belt, one weighted at the end which I believe helps him better judge what direction the ship is about to lurch in, a minor detail I only notice thanks to Buddy’s obsession with dangling objects. A pair of leather bracers protect his wrists and forearms, but his hands are left free and exposed should he have need to pitch in and help out on deck. So too are his feet, the pirate captain going shoeless on-board his ship, a choice he undoubtedly regrets as my boot slams home against his toes.

Foot stomping is hardly honourable or expected from the noble Legate, but I have never been one to fight fair.

Alas, given the extreme speeds I was moving at, I acted long before I thought, because I could have ended the fight here and now if that’d been a Mountain Collapsing Stomp. Now that his attention has been drawn to my feet however, his all-out assault has abated in speed and ferocity, buying me much needed breathing room as I try to fight my way out of this pickle. Huanhuzi is neither stronger nor faster than Goujian, but I lack Pong Pong’s Deflections to protect me from the staggering impacts of our weapons colliding, each trade threatening to throw me off of my feet atop this unsteady sinking vessel.

All the while we’re exchanging blows, there’s a sense of familiarity about the Bandit King which I cannot place, until the resemblance finally hits me in the face. “Oh,” I say, while blocking five blows and countering with a riposte that glances off his chest-plate and only narrowly misses his throat. “So that Divinity was your mother.”

The half-badger falters in place at the statement, his narrow eyes widening as his cold fury turns white hot with anger and resentment. The Divinity in question was the frigid female Divinity who I failed to identify back at the Abbot’s retreat. Honestly, I thought she was human, but seeing how much she resembles her son here, there’s no doubt in my mind she must be the Ancestral Badger. Neither of them have any discernible animal features to speak of, though rumour has it the half-badger has a tail tucked away in the back of his trousers, so I can only assume the frigid Defiled Divinity also had one hidden beneath her dress. Why Huanhuzi is so upset at the mere mention of his mother is difficult to say, but I file it away for later while trading blows and giving as good as I get.

Soon enough, I acclimate to the swaying ship and begin to press the advantage, my speed and strength more than a match for the half-badger pirate who is struggling to maintain cohesion of his fleet amidst this life and death duel. An unfair advantage on my part, especially considering how Buddy is able to detect Concealed pirates and Send their locations to my guards who are quick to act upon the information. Though Huanhuzi has yet to speak, I can see the doubts lingering behind his eyes, wondering just who is hiding nearby to ensure my continued existence. Is it a Divinity? Or merely a powerful Peak Expert? How powerful? On the level of Nian Zu, or is it one of his Famed Fifty? Am I a distraction, or am I really treating him like a whetstone to hone my skills upon?

All these doubts give rise to uncertain hesitation, and I use it to my full advantage. Offering him an opening to strike, I all but dare him to try and take my life, but the Bandit King is no longer so confident that this is the best choice. Better to keep trading blows while looking for a chance to escape, but I use his hesitation against him and unleash a Mountain Collapsing Stomp at my feet. The sinking pirate ship finally tears itself apart, catching my foe off-guard as he struggles to find his balance, only for Peace to sink deep into his exposed foot and pin him to the deck below. Rumbling in fury reminiscent to Princess’s discontented grumbles, Huanhuzi tears his foot free and leaps off the ship, but I am one step behind him as we take our duel to the water below. Balanced precariously atop some drifting flotsam, he clearly expects me to do the same, but I have no experience fighting on floating pieces of wood and no intention to learn on the fly. Instead, I dive headlong into the sea to hide beneath the waves, only to emerge from below and pierce his other foot with Tranquility’s twin blades with a Chi-infused shout of, “Gotcha Bitch!”

Not gonna lie, I’m pretty good at being unpredictable.

Falling over into the waters, Huanhuzi topples into my domain, and I plunge Tranquility’s blades into his torso a half-dozen times before recalling Peace to hand to dismember both his arms. Throughout it all, my opponent doesn’t utter a single sound, though his twisted expression makes it clear he can still feel pain, and my soft nature cannot help but sympathize with his plight. No matter though, because killing him was never the plan, as he is far more useful alive, though I doubt he will thank me for sparing his life. Sending for my Royal Guardians to come take him into custody and keep him from bleeding out, I study the formidable pirate for long seconds as we drag him back to the Imperial freighter intact, slaughtering our way over with relative ease. Victory is mine, at the small cost of a fleshed shoulder and a massive headache that will probably last half a day, but somehow, it all feels hollow and too easily obtained. Huanhuzi is too quiet and too calm for my tastes, his rage contained in frigid apathy as if he’s still wholly in control of his own fate.

Noticing my hesitance, the half-badger cracks a satisfied smile and looks up into the sky, speaking to no one in particular. “So this is how it be, Mother?” Huanhuzi’s gravelly voice is deep and rich, full of crushed hope and bitter acceptance. “What choice be left to me?” Shaking his head, the Bandit King heaves a sigh and says, “I accept. I surrender.”

And all hell breaks loose as the Father’s foul attentions fall upon his newest Demonic minion.

No, not just one, but hundreds of Demonic births take place, all triggered in tandem and leaving us with no choice but to watch and wait. Never before have this many Demons formed at once, and the implications leave me shivering for reasons which have nothing to do with the cold. Though I would benefit greatly from consuming their Ichor, that doesn’t mean I’m immune from their claws or fangs, nor are any of the other Peak Experts here with me. With so many transforming around us, the Imperial Forces will soon be overrun by Demons and Defiled both, and judging by the feral, but resigned grin etched across his pained expression, what little is left of Huanhuzi knows it.

I won my duel, but might well have lost the battle and the war in the process.

Well...

Shit.

Seems like I got got, which I guess makes me the bitch...

Chapter Meme

Chapter Meme 2