Standing firm before a deluge of anger, animosity, and general indignation, it occurs to me I probably should’ve expected the Brotherhood monks to have access to Emotional Aura and prepared accordingly.
I still don’t understand why there are different variants of Aura running around, or why the general population of the outer provinces are only aware of the standard vanilla Aura, but this is just more proof of the Imperial Clan doing everything they can to keep the outer provinces ignorant and weak. Combined with my recent revelation regarding the true reason why we cremate our dead, as well as the knowledge that forbidden human jerky can help one ascend to Divinity, and I’m starting to wonder if I’m fighting for the wrong side. Not to say I have an urge to consume the flesh of my enemies and wear clothes and jewellery fashioned from their remains, but knowing I’ve allied myself with the lesser of two evils is not a great feeling. We all want to be the hero of our own stories, but when you take a step back and realize you’ve been fighting for the wrong reasons, well… that just opens up a whole host of unsavoury comparisons.
Which of course sets off a deluge of conflicted emotions, ones I have no choice but to share with the gathered monks of the Brotherhood. A good thing they’re all riled up though, because I’m gonna need them to be emotionally charged for what I have in mind.
“The Noble Eight-Fold Path is simple in concept, but complex in execution.” Scanning the crowd without seeing any one individual in particular, I bring to mind a conflict that might well have defined who I am today. “To better explain my thoughts and perspective, allow me to first share with you a tale. As some of you may know, I took part in a conflict in Sanshu involving a Defiled army hiding in plain sight as bandits and rebels, but the story is not so simple as it appears. What you may not know is that the Defiled bandit leader, Yo Ling, was a former Major of the Imperial Army who turned to crime when he received word his parents had been cast out of Sanshu and into the wilds, where they died of exposure before word of their plight could reach him.”
There are no gasps or mutters to greet my reveal, and I suspect some of the monks already knew this, but there are enough looks of confusion and interest to bolster my confidence and continue. “In Yo Ling’s eyes, his actions were justified, taking up arms against a corrupt regime who drove his parents to death. Banditry was just a means to an end, and what harm was there in stealing from those who profited from exploiting the helpless? His brother, Liu Gan, admitted that their initial plan was to gather wealth and power to oppose the Empire and carve out a piece of paradise, one where the common people could live without fear of their noble oppressors, and yet you all know how it ended. So I asked myself, ‘Where did it all go wrong? How did Yo Ling’s noble cause devolve into an unrepentant desire to cause chaos and bloodshed no matter the cost?’.” Scanning the crowd for my loved ones, I see Taduk standing with Lin-Lin and Li-Li at the back of the crowd, here to support me in my endeavours once more, and my heart warms at the sight of their smiling faces, especially Li-Li’s rare, contented expression. Willing myself not to get distracted, I continue, “One of the last things Yo Ling said was that he would rather see the whole world burn than let things stay the same, and it scared me how much I sympathized with this sentiment. If my loved ones were harmed due to Imperial meddling, I can easily see myself following in those same footsteps, taking up arms against the Imperial Clan in order to defend or avenge my family and friends.”
Seeing Taduk’s sorrowful smile almost breaks my heart, for I see in it more grief and heartache than I can ever imagine. No doubt he too has suffered from the attentions of the Imperial Clan, perhaps hunted like Guan Suo had been on account of his heritage, and I can only pray that his peaceful days have not come to an end because of me. Then again, thinking back to the night Mahakala passed away, I suspect Taduk’s status was something of an open secret, seeing how the other Divinities allowed him a seat at their table alongside a cup of tea possibly poured by Shen ZhenWu himself. Actually, now that I think about it, there were a lot more clues sprinkled about, like how he meditates while asleep and never learned the Forms, yet is somehow a Medical Saint who can Cloud-Step with the best of them. Then there’s the fact that even Divinities seek him out for Healing, and a whole host of other nuggets and tidbits I’d just plain missed. Hang on… Is Fung’s half-weasel manservant, Fu Zhu Li, also a Divinity? He showed up when Guan Suo, Gang Shu, and the Abbot came back from their battle against the Enemy Divinities, and while he was unable to save poor Guan Suo in the end, it still speaks volumes to his skill that he was able to even try.
Stop getting side-tracked Rain. Focus on the here and now. Turning my attention back to the crowd, I continue, “Yo Ling’s story is not unique, for there was also Mao Jianghong, the traitor Guard Captain of Sanshu opened the gates to the Defiled army and now serves as the Enemy’s Marshal.” That last bit is news to everyone present, as I only learned it after becoming Legate and was told to keep it to myself, but my Imperial Dao Protector hasn’t been around for months now, so fuck him and his instructions. “An in-depth investigation after the fact uncovered that Mao Jianghong lost his entire family to a bandit attack, one orchestrated by the Merchant Council of Sanshu. You see, the Mao Family was earning too much money without paying their proper dues, so the Merchant Council took it upon themselves to eliminate the competition. Jianghong’s life was saved by a nearby mercenary unit, who were only in the area because they were following the trail of a different group of bandits and therefore had not been expected. His sister was saved too, but she took her own life a few days later, after which Jianghong sold his family’s holdings and joined the Guard. No doubt to ensure others would not have to suffer the traumatic events he himself went through, but his new station only opened his eyes to the rampant corruption throughout the city, which we assume led him to throw in with Yo Ling and Butcher Bay. What would I have done in his place? Something similar no doubt, and that scares me more than anything else.”
Again, there is no reaction from the crowd, but at least I still have their attention. “Now let us go back even further, to a more personal conflict of mine. At the age of sixteen, I was invited to take part in the Heaven and Earth Society’s Contest of Champions, an event for youths of the Northern Province to show their mettle and be rewarded for their efforts. On the surface at least. In truth, it’s mostly a means for the Society to showcase their own young talents and brag about their future potential, so when my friends and I eliminated several parties of Society competitors, we were then set up for failure. After rewarding us with valuable elixirs and Runic rings, the Society arranged to have my party killed and robbed by ‘bandits’ on our way home in order to reclaim their ‘gifts’ without losing face. During the escape, I fought and killed a man, and in doing so, earned the ire of his uncle, one Ming Zhong Lang. Never mind that several people in my party almost died several times during our escape, myself included, or the fact that the Society were the aggressors and therefore reaping what they’d sown. Ming Zhong Lang cared nothing for the facts and led a group of mercenary warriors to assault my homeland.” Without going into too much detail, I stifle a sigh and say, “I killed him and found his journal. In it, I discovered how much he cared for his deceased nephew and realized the lengths he would go to for love of family. Again I wondered what I would do in his place and could not fault him for his decisions.”
Having said this much, I finally take a deep breath and turn towards the guardian monks, specifically the oldest looking one who is clearly their leader. “Not one hour past, I spoke with this monk here, and he said something that made me think. Sin begets sin, which I suppose is where most of you believe the people above went wrong. You of the Brotherhood would argue that Yo Ling, Liu Gan, Mao Jianghong, myself, and countless others succumb to sin because we seek to right the wrongs of the world through bloodshed and violence, and sin only begets sin. Am I wrong to say this?”
“Not wrong at all,” Monk Bones declares, and the crowd chimes in with a chorus of agreement. “The first step along the Noble Eight-Fold Path is to accept the Right View, that our actions and beliefs have consequences after death. For this reason, we adhere to the Right Resolve, which is to renounce worldly desires and dedicate ourselves to an ascetic lifestyle, one in which we do no harm, whether it be through speech or action. Thus do we hold true to Right Speech and Right Action, by accepting the Right Livelihood and Right Effort. Each step along the Noble Eight-Fold Path brings you to the next, and such is our Path defined.”
“An admirable undertaking.” Trying to sound as sincere as can be, I bow my head out of respect for their praiseworthy intentions, even though I wholeheartedly disagree with the direction they’ve taken. “And yet, herein lies the difference in our opinions, for I feel the Brotherhood has lost sight of their goal starting from the first step, overlooking the consequences of your actions in favour of your own selfish pursuits.” Pausing for a moment to let the angry muttering grow and die out, I meet the gaze of each and every monk who seeks to challenge me, and I do not back down. Credit where credit is due, the monks do not collectively toss me out on my ass and instead wait for me to explain myself, which is more tolerance than I would find anywhere else in the Empire.
Which is half the reason why I’m doing this, because I’m pretty sure they won’t flatten me like a pancake, not before hearing me out first. Then they might flatten me, but the other half is because I have two Ancestral Beasts in my corner and an Emperor Turtle to boot, so my haters can get rekt. “You forsake the Three Desires and accept the Four Noble Truths, the last of which states that the Noble Eight-Fold Path is the route to salvation. For the sake of this discussion, let us say this is all correct, and that I wholeheartedly agree with the above statements.” Despite knowing this will ruffle their feathers, I can’t bring myself to accept the Four Noble Truths, and not just because I enjoy sex, fame, and alcohol more than I should. There’s just an underlying difference in perspective that I cannot get around, but that is a discussion best left until later. “Even if I agree that the way forward is to seek Nirvana, what is the purpose of doing so? To ascend to the next world and what? If life is suffering, what difference will it make, whether we exist in this plane or the next?”
“Nirvana is not the goal, Brother Rain,” Monk Bones replies, looking serious as I’ve ever seen him, “But rather the reward. An ultimate state of release, freedom from the cycle of life and rebirth. Life is suffering, but only because it is impermanent, a fleeting and ephemeral existence to experience before wiping the slate clean to begin anew. Suffering without purpose, one might even say, for mere survival is but a temporary respite in a lifetime of trials and tribulations.”
Well that just makes things even worse. “And what will you do if the next plane is no different from this one? Life by definition is a struggle for survival, this remains as true for a Divinity as it does for a lowly ant, all of us just eking out a means to survive upon this world we reside in, so who is to say things are any different elsewhere?”
“In this matter, there is no recourse for reconciliation,” Monk Bones replies, and even Monk Happy, who supposedly supports me, nods his head in agreement. “Such is our belief, that Nirvana is the freedom we so desire, for only a True Divinity can have the power to break free of the shackles of mortality. If this is not so, and at the end of my Path, I find Nirvana is unattainable or even non-existent, then at least I will have lived the best life possible, one as free from harm and sin as humanly possible.”
“Fair enough.” Mahakala made the exact same argument, so I suspected I would arrive at this particular impasse and move on instead of trying to convince them that their faith is wrong, because there is no arguing against faith. Honestly, I don’t even think they’re all that wrong, because they do live lives free of harm and sin, or at least they endeavour to. Instead, I try a different tack and go back to discussing their methods instead. “Then let us put aside our disagreement regarding your goals and focus on the Brotherhood’s methods once more. You seek Nirvana by following the Noble Eight-Fold Path, part of which states that you must live in a manner that causes no harm. For this reason and others, the Abbot brought the Brotherhood into the Arid Wastes and built your monasteries away from any and all civilization, far from the temptations of the mortal world. You even castrate yourselves to do away with ‘distraction’, but I cannot accept this as proper. Do you believe that the absence of temptation is the same as wilful denial?”
“Eh-Mi-Tuo-Fuo.” Pressing his palms together in prayer, Monk Bones lowers his head to ponder the question before coming up with a response. “Perhaps you are correct in this, Brother Rain,” he eventually replies, much to the chagrin of his fellow monks, but there are a few heads that nod along in agreement. “One cannot truly deny temptation when there is no temptation to be denied, but our exile from the mortal world was not entirely self-imposed.”
“I understand and accept this,” I begin, for once, trying to choose my words carefully, “But this is merely one facet of the Brotherhood’s flaws, flaws I find difficult to put into words. You believe you hold the Path to salvation, the means to end this meaningless suffering and usher us into a new state of existence, so you sit here in your monastery and pursue this goal while isolated from the world around you.” Thinking back to my discussion with the Guardian Monk, I finally figure out how to give voice to my dissatisfaction. “The Right View states that actions have consequences, so the Brotherhood has chosen inaction as their default response, but even inaction can give rise to harm. It’s true that an individual can only take responsibility for their own actions, but a wise man once said that the only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for good people to do nothing, and that is exactly what you good people have all chosen. To do nothing. To stand aside and apart while others commit atrocities without even trying to stop them. How can you call this the Right View? All you’ve done is narrowed your perspectives until you cannot see the consequences of your inaction, and in so doing, have allowed said consequences to thrive out of sight. Just because a farmer does not see the rot, does not mean his crops won’t wither and die, the same way the shepherd’s flock is not safe from the wolves he fails to spot. By your logic, Healing a soldier mid-battle would be wrong, for your actions would result in further harm, but while both sides are wrong to resort to violence, I would rather cause harm with good intentions rather than stand idly by and let harm come to those undeserving.”
The crowd mutters and mumbles amongst themselves, and I hear more than one monk repeating my bit about good people doing nothing, which means I’ve most definitely struck a chord. “Maybe I’m wrong and there are circumstances beyond what I know, but from the first day I learned of the Brotherhood’s Path and the resources at your disposal, I have always felt like there was so much good you could do. Imagine my disappointment when I learned that instead of using your knowledge and skills to better the world, you instead hide in your monasteries so that nothing and no one can affect you.”
“And what would you have us do?” A different monk chimes in this time, a younger monk with giant ears who doesn’t seem like he holds much authority, given the silent reproach directed his way by the more senior members around him. Undeterred by their admonishments, Monk Dumbo purses his lips in an almost sneer and continues, “Would you have us take up arms and slaughter the Defiled? Pledge ourselves to fight your battles so that you might unite the Outer Provinces beneath you? Bring our battle to the Imperial Clan and topple their regime, only to see it replaced by another with you upon the throne?”
“Oh god no.” One good thing about my inability to control my Aura is that the monks know my reaction is genuine abhorrence. “I would welcome any of you with open arms if you should choose to fight at my side, but I do not begrudge you your peaceful existence. In fact, I envy it, but I cannot bring myself to embrace it for various reasons. Nor would I ever want to be Emperor, because that just sounds like a miserable job. All that responsibility is just... ugh. No thanks.” Honestly, when I get back, I might just let Shuai Jiao keep his job, assuming he hasn’t made any massive, unforgivable blunders. I never wanted the job in the first place, and so long as he has the welfare of the Empire at the top of his priorities, then the wannabe monk of a Colonel General can do whatever the fuck he wants.
“As for what would I have you do?” Pausing to consider how to best explain it, I stare at the comatose Abbot and Send, “Pay attention to this next bit, because it’s important.” Out loud, I continue, “Well... that’s a question not so easily answered, because first, we have to address yet another significant difference in opinion, namely the Four Noble Truths. First, Life is suffering, and in suffering we find life. Second, we suffer because of the Three Desires. Third, there is a way to escape, by divesting ourselves of the Three Desires and attaining Nirvana. Fourth, the way to attain Nirvana is by following the Noble Eight-fold Path. Those are the Four Noble Truths as I know them, so if there are any corrections to be made, then please share them now.”
No one has anything to add, though I hear a few mutters about how my ‘elementary understanding’ is ‘sufficient for now’. Well bully to them, because I got that breakdown from Mahakala himself. “I agree with you up to the ‘life is suffering’ bit, after which our Paths diverge. The Four Noble Truths would have you focus on escaping the cycle of reincarnation, whereas I would rather devote my efforts to making sure the next generation suffers just a little less than this current one. That’s all.” With a shrug, I explain, “I want my children and grandchildren to have things easier than I did, but the problem is, might makes right, and there’s no guarantee that the next generation will be as strong as this one. So what can I do?”
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“You mean to take power from the nobles, merchants, and Warriors of the Empire and spread it amongst the common people,” another Monk replies, one with a giant mole who also spoke earlier. Surprised by Monk Mole’s spot on answer, he smiles and bows his head in respect. “The Brotherhood obtained copies of the book you presented to Shen ZhenWu, as well as transcripts of what was said. ‘Literacy is the foundation upon which all learning is built, and education intrinsically tied to economy’. You laid your plans out for all to hear in a single sentence, but few cared to truly listen. By educating the populace, you empower them to not only uplift the economy, but also become invaluable to it as well, thereby raising the status of scholars, tradesmen, and otherwise educated individuals in general.”
It’s so nice speaking with people who understand me, which makes it all the more frustrating to see all this brainpower go to waste. Then again, if the Brotherhood caught onto my intentions, I doubt it slipped past Shen ZhenWu either, which means this might well be the reason why he invested so much into making me his damnable pawn, so he could control me and end the threat I represent. I probably overstepped my bounds releasing the book when I did, but in my defence, it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Sadly, even though I think my idea holds merit, the Brotherhood are not of the same mind. “Your efforts would do little to ease suffering,” a third monk interjects, one I dub Monk Liver Spots for reasons which need not be said. “A redistribution of power will change nothing in the long run, only rearrange the playing board a little bit until the scales of balance find equilibrium once again. Greed will always exist, as will hatred, lust, and all other manner of sins, for without them, there can be no Balance.”
“Possibly true.” Nodding in agreement, I retort, “But just because failure is likely, that does not mean I should not try. Right this very moment, there could be a farmer in possession of knowledge that could change the horticultural world as we know it, or a mathematical savant who can progress our understanding of physics by leaps and bounds, or who knows what else, but as things stand now, these uncut gems might well live and die without their true potential being realized. The world is filled with untapped talents, brilliant minds filled with revolutionary ideas that are simply too busy living hand to mouth to do anything else, but that is not how things have to always be. My dream is to uplift all of humanity so that others have the chance to contribute their own efforts, for a rising tide raises all ships, and humanity has been landlocked for far too long.”
I am only so passionate because I know how much potential humanity still has untapped and how close we are to an industrial revolution. The technology of the Azure Empire is far from primitive, considering they have pocket-watches, firecrackers, steel crucibles, and so much more, but any sort of progress over the last few thousand years might as well be non-existent. A few steps forward is all we need to thrust the Empire into a technological revolution, and only then will people realize how much farther humanity still has to go. “And it’s not just science and technology that could benefit either. I wholeheartedly believe our fundamental understanding of the Dao is flawed beyond repair, and that we would do well to re-examine everything we think we know. A friend of mine once told me that Balance was a concept we humans are ill-suited for, that we are fragile emotional creatures, capable of observation and thought which many scholars believe hinders our progress. Animals naturally seek Balance, but humans must reach for it, struggle to hold it, which is why there has yet to be a single person who has truly mastered it. Add in the fact that Defiled tribesmen have a near 100% success rate when it comes to Core Creation, this proves that there must be something fundamentally wrong with our understanding of this first, vital milestone. So rather than sticking to tried and true methods that we know are flawed, why do we not seek an alternative Path, one that is neither Defiled nor Imperial, but incorporates the best of both worlds while doing away with the worst?”
Again, I’m getting off the beaten track, but that happens whenever I find a thread interesting enough to pull on. Food for thought, at least, but for now, I must continue my efforts to rally support from the monks. “Perhaps my goals are unrealistic and my efforts will ultimately prove futile, but so what? We are all mortal and will eventually die, but that won’t stop me from saving a drowning man or feeding a starving child, so why should the possibility of failure keep me from trying? What is it you monks like to say? Saving a life is better than building a seven story pagoda, right?” A chorus of agreements sound out as the crowd considers my words more carefully now that I’ve said something of worth. “And therein lies what I see as the Brotherhood’s greatest failing, all talk and no action. I spoke with the Abbot recently, and he told me of a time when the Brotherhood fed the hungry and gave sermons to educate and reassure the common people.” Showed me, in fact, but it’d take too much effort to explain it, and the monks take me at my word. “This was a long time ago, before even the Abbot was inducted into the Brotherhood, before you were even called the Penitent Brotherhood, and I sensed in his tale a longing for these earlier times, when monks took an active part in the mortal world around them. Teachers, counsellors, mediators, and more, the monks of his Mentor’s time were a different breed from the ones I see standing before me.”
A harsh rebuke, but one well deserved, for the Penitent Brotherhood have focused on their own salvation at the expense of everything else. “You help those who seek you out, but otherwise, you cannot be bothered to lift a finger, because to do so would slow your personal progress along the Path. While your intentions are good, the Brotherhood as whole lacks empathy, compassion, and benevolence, which I believe are the true source of humanity’s strength. We are not faster than the tiger, or stronger than the bull, but when we band together as one and exercise our ingenuity, then there is no trial or tribulation we cannot overcome.” Offering the crowd a helpless shrug to convey my apology, I add, “But you, with all the knowledge you possess and power at your disposal, have chosen to not only hoard your knowledge without sharing, but also stand apart from the world despite knowing that one of your former brethren now seeks to destroy it.”
Pointing west towards where I assume the Defiled retreated, I let the heat of my anger colour my tone as I go in hard on the Brotherhood. “The former Wisdom Vyakhya has now allied himself with the Uniter, a monstrous, eight-hundred year old torturer by the name of Zhen Shi, and together, they hold the means to unbalance the world and break the cycle of reincarnation. They mean to end suffering as we know it alongside everything else in existence, reducing this world and countless others to nihility and nothingness. The Abbot’s Senior Brother warned me of this himself, and in his dying declaration claimed that the Brotherhood is striving to right this wrong and fix this imbalance, but so far, I have seen no evidence that this is true.” Sweeping my gaze across the crowd, I add, “Or perhaps he meant the Brotherhood of old, not the reclusive, self-indulgent Penitent Brotherhood I see before me.” Caught up in my own self righteous rant, I add, “And why are you strictly a ‘Brotherhood’ anyways? Who decided this whole ‘no women allowed’ bullshit? What, you don’t think women are deserving of salvation? That they aren’t even allowed to try? That’s just plain sexist, and you all need to rethink your values.”
Amidst the sea of sheepish stares, I catch the barest hint of a girlish giggle and do my best not to laugh along, but my Aura gives me away as I inwardly giggle alongside my sweet wifey. Okay, so I’m being a little overboard, but I’m making totally valid points. I get it, they don’t accept women because they would become a source of temptation, but it seems kinda rude just to consign an entire gender to eternal suffering until they’re lucky enough to be born a man.
Recovering from this unrelated detour, I do my best to sum up everything in a way that will leave an impact on these monks. “In short, I believe that all of you have set out on this Path with the wrong perspective. There might not necessarily be anything wrong with the Noble Eight-Fold Path, but your interpretation and execution of said Path leaves much to be desired. I brought a few points I don’t agree with, and Heavens know there are others, but like I told you all earlier, I believe this is why the Abbot inducted me into the Brotherhood sight unseen. Not so I can lead you as some first among equals, but so I could challenge your understanding and force you to rethink your perspectives. In fact, there’s a good chance I’m wrong about many things, because everything I’ve shared is based on my own unique perspective, but that doesn’t mean your choices are not worth scrutinizing. You are only responsible for your own actions, but in the same vein, only you can hold yourself accountable for your own inner motivations.”
My piece said, I settle back on my heels and covertly glance at Jorani, my signal for him to speak, but he’s busy whispering to his pregnant Defiled lady friend who looks torn between eating Jorani for a snack or patting him on the head like a cute toddler. They’re oddly adorable together, in a sort of mismatched sort of way, but I’m not sensing any sort of romance between them, though I think it would be great if they developed that way. Curious though I may be as to how their relationship will progress, it’s best to strike whilst the iron is hot, and the monks are primed for persuading now that I’ve stoked the fires of fury. Picturing the sound-waves and doing my best not to think too hard about how accurate a representation they really are, I Send, “If you don’t mind Jorani, but now would be a great time to chime in.”
Surprised by the Sending, he just barely manages to keep from jumping out of his skin and steps forward before regaining his calm. “Er hi all,” he begins, awkward as hell and visibly nervous to anyone with eyes as he straightens up to speak. “I’m err... Jorani. Dunno why I introduce meself, as ye all know me. Least I think ye do, as I’ve met ye all at least once or twice, but just in case, err.. I’m Jorani.” Resisting the urge to palm my face, I commit every iota of self-control I possess towards keeping a straight face and unamused Aura, but only succeed by the barest of margins. “Anyways,” Jorani continues, wholly aware of the hidden smiles and stifled laughter by the shade of his scarlet cheeks, “Ye probably also know I’m one of the bossman – err Falling Rain’s – err... the Legate’s... well, soldiers I guess. Friend too. Comrade in arms? We’re close, is what I’m sayin’. I met him in Sanshu when he captured me and put an’ end to me bandit ways, and I been with him ever since, so I figure I know him better than most.” Clearing his throat, he glances down at his feet in the least convincing manner possible and says, “So err... well, bein’ honest, I know the bossman was mostly talkin’ out his ass and got a lot of what the Brotherhood does wrong, but he was right about one thing; fer all the talk about saving lives bein’ better than buildin’ pagodas, the Brotherhood don’t do much of either.”
...I should’ve picked someone else to speak. Anyone else. Even Taddy would’ve done a better job. Ral would’ve been more convincing, and I’ve known Pong Pong to be more eloquent. God damn it Jorani...
Still unwilling to meet my eyes, Jorani turns to face the crowd, though from where he stands in the middle left, there’s no way he can face everyone at once. “Now this ain’t a criticism, not really,” he continues, smoothing his robes to hide his nervous tics. “I mean, ain’t no one obligated to do charity, ye know? Gotta look after you and yers first, amirite? Cept... that ain’t how the bossman sees things. There ain’t no one more charitable than he is. Could’ve saved himself a lot of grief and heartache if he learned to ignore pain when he sees it, but even though he’s the toughest son of a – err, toughest man I know, he’s a softie when it comes to protecting those who cannot protect themselves. It’s like he’s compelled to help wherever possible, and that’s because in his mind, he is. He’s strong, so he’s obligated to look after those weaker than him. He’s rich, so he’s obligated to help those less fortunate. He’s educated, so he’s obligated to teach as much as possible, that’s just the way he sees things. Don’t know why he is the way he is. Maybe it’s on account of his time as a slave, or mebbe it’s ‘cause he’s the Medical Saint’s student, but whatever the reason, he sees it as his duty to help people, and I’ll be damned if that’s not why I’d follow him into the Father’s Maw and back out again without thinking twice, and so would any soldier in his retinue.” Finally daring to meet my gaze, Jorani looks up to me with a sheepish smile. “He’s a good man, he is, and them’s a rare breed, especially for someone in his position. He looks out fer the little guy, you know? Even the ones who might not necessarily be on his side, so when he says the Brotherhood ain’t doin’ enough good, keep in mind he’s gauging by his high standards, and there probably ain’t anyone who measures up.”
After a long and almost uncomfortable silence, Monk Dumbo is first to speak once again, reiterating the same question he asked before. “Then... what would you have us do?” Before, he asked in challenge, to mock and denigrate my life’s choices, but now, he genuinely wants an answer.
Sadly, I don’t have one, not one I can give without regret. “Truth be told, I don’t know. I envy your lives here and regret having brought violence and bloodshed to your doorstep. I wish we lived in a world where you were free to peacefully pursue your Dao, but calamity has come to humanity’s doorstep and we cannot afford to ignore it. The Abbot knows this and tried to rally you all to your cause, and while I remain ignorant of the details, would I be correct to assume you rejected his call to arms and have decided to remain neutral in this ongoing conflict?” The monks exchange looks, but in the end, Monk Happy is the one to respond, offering a single nod to confirm my suspicions. “Do any of you know what he had planned?” Again, more looks exchanged before Monk Happy shakes his head, which is pretty much what I assumed. The Abbot seems like a fairly hands off leader, a guy used to just doing his own thing while the Brotherhood runs itself. Not the best leadership model, but it’s worked thus far, and if he were more determined to see his vision through instead of letting others choose their own Path, he probably could’ve rallied the Brotherhood behind him without any real effort.
Gesturing towards the comatose Abbot once more, looking so frail and weak upon his cot, with his brows drawn and jaw clenched even in sleep. There’s a good chance I’m responsible for his current frustrations, given how I’ve been bashing the Brotherhood for a good while now, but to be fair, they kinda deserve it. Also, I needed to make the monks feel lost and doubtful, so they’ll subconsciously rely on the Abbot again. “Well, this is the result of your neutrality. Your Abbot stood up against the Bristleboar Divinity, the same man who slew his Senior Martial Brother, and the traitor Wisdom moved to keep him in check. Some of you might disagree with his actions, believe he allowed his emotions to cloud his judgment, and you might even be right, but that does not mean he is no longer fit to be your Abbot.”
“When did we claim he wasn’t?” A squinty eyed monk is first to voice his displeasure, but Mole, Dumbo, Bones, and several others join in soon after. Caught off-guard by their vehement denial, I glance at the Abbot and stifle a sigh, only now realizing how internalized the Abbot’s struggle has been all this time. With his twin status as Abbot and Divinity, this was probably enough to isolate him from his fellow monks who hold him in too-high esteem, meaning he only had Mahakala and Vyakhya to talk to. The former was angry with him while the latter betrayed his trust, so I guess the Abbot was just starved for companionship even though he had several monasteries filled with brothers to talk to, all alone in a crowd of strangers who were supposed to be his family. That’s heartbreaking in so many ways, and I feel the urge to run over and give Taduk a hug, because I bet that’s how he felt before hiding his identity. Oh gods, Pong Pong too, with no Divine Turtle friends to hang out with, running all over the Azure Sea in search of a place to call home.
Immortality is not for me. I’d much rather live a mortal’s life and die long before my loved ones, so I never have to mourn a single one. That’s the dream, one that supersedes even bear hands, a normal, boring, happy life, filled with love and joy aplenty.
Upon hearing the chorus of support for their comatose leader, I put aside all stray thoughts and encourage the monks to speak up, to make their trust and devotion known, because this is exactly what the Abbot needs. He claimed he had no people to love or care about, and so he had nothing left to live for, but that’s clearly not true. Condensing my Aura to match the monks’ energy, I use it to entice Kukku and Tai Shan over as well, who promptly nuzzle the Abbot close in a darling display of affection. Rakky utters a little growl until Pong Pong does something to make him stop, but even then, the diffident tiger remains rooted in place while feigning indifference, though I notice he keeps the Abbot in sight at all times.
Monk Happy is the first to catch on to what I’m trying to do, and he unleashes an Aura of faith and devotion directed towards the Abbot. Several other monks join their Aura to his, while those incapable of doing so take up their drums and chant. Only now do I realize the Sutras are some sort of verbal focus for their emotions, an audible Rune if you will, though the comparison is not exact. Turning my attention to the Abbot, I Send, “These people love and respect you, but more importantly, they need you to guide them. Even if they do not accept your word as law, it does not mean you’ve failed them. In fact, I would say it means you’ve succeeded, because your goal was never to gather followers to your cause, but like-minded comrades to join you on your Path.”
This is what I learned from helping Li-Li repair her Core, that trust and goodwill can go a long way towards Healing. Why is that? Something Grandpa Du said once comes to mind, that ‘Aura is a metaphysical expression of courage or intimidation, whereas a Domain is in many ways an extension of Aura, in that it is a metaphysical expression of authority bestowed by the Heavens'. So what is an internal Domain, the barrier that keeps Chi from affecting another person directly? I likened it to an immune system for the metaphysical body, the parts we don’t know about that allow us to use and control Chi, but it might also be that within our bodies lies our own personal demesne, a space separate from the Heavens within which we hold full autonomous authority. We are the lords of our own domains essentially, and while this line of thought leaves many questions left to be asked and answered, they’re not all that important right now. The important thing is that Taduk said that in order to bypass this natural defense, the easiest way is to convince the patient that you hold no ill-will, which is easier said than done, because this requires an implicit trust that goes above and beyond what most people are capable of. Now, while I myself might not hold the Abbot’s trust, surely so many monks expressing their devotion and heartfelt admiration should be enough to win him over, right? I don’t know how to Heal without attempting to seize control, a flaw I am unable to correct in any short amount of time, but now I’m asking him to trust me for their sake, a plea delivered through Aura and quite possibly Domain. Just like there are emotional variations of Aura, why can’t there be different degrees of Domain, sort of like temporary permission to take control within a limited degree of authority.
In short, I’m backpacking on the packets of trust and goodwill being sent by the Brotherhood and asking the Abbot to trust me enough to give me limited remote access to his Domain, where I can maybe do a bit of troubleshooting and help him fix what’s wrong.
It’s a long shot, but like Taduk said, a drowning man will grasp at anything in order to survive. Muttering a small prayer in hopes that this is enough, I take the Abbot’s hand and close my eyes before opening myself to the Heavens. Drawing the power of Creation and Destruction towards me, I close off my Core and divert the Heavenly Energy towards the Abbot, using not just my own Aura and the remaining usable Heavenly Energy left to me, but also the Auras of all the gathered monks, as well as their directed, soothing chants which fill me with daring confidence. For a second, the Energy of the Heavens wavers in place, and I fear it will soon escape my control and return to the world without ever affecting the Abbot, but then his Core opens to receive my aid, and the torrential surge sweeps me off of my feet.
Seconds, minutes, hours, or even days, how much time passes, I cannot say as I ride the fine line between struggle and surrender to bend the Energy of the Heavens to my Will. Though the details escape me, I know things are going well as the Abbot’s body greedily consumes everything I have to throw at it. His physical and metaphysical wounds far more extensive than I even imagined, but where there is a will, there is a way, and I am nothing if not stubborn. Without warning, the storm breaks and the deluge stalls, a sudden release that catches me off guard as the tension just flows out of my body. Landing in a soft embrace of warmth and serenity, I slip into the dark oblivion of restful slumber, knowing I’ve finally done something right. The Abbot should be back on his feet in no time, and if not, I can just pop over to the nearest battlefield and Succ some Spectres to refuel before coming back to finish. No fuss, no muss, and with all my ducks finally in a row, I can rest easy knowing there are no immediate fires which need putting out.
Now all that’s left to do is go back to the Citadel, snuggle some quin pups, reclaim my place as Legate, and work with Shuai Jiao on a plan to drive the Defiled out of Central before embarking on our crusade to retake the Western Province.
Easy peasy, lemon squeezy.
Chapter Meme