„Your footsteps, which wandered the world, where are they now, Mother? Why don’t you come when I feel I lack air without you?” These were SolHi’s thoughts when bitter tears were bathing her cheeks. She was crying: with all her heart, with her soul, and with all her body while holding SinHa’s lifeless body to her chest. A SinHa that had been found drowned in the same sea SolHi had loved the most, leaving SolHi knelt in front of the sea of pain, the sea that left her orphan eventually and, for the umpteenth time, deserted.

***

„Nuna, Nuna, they found her, at the rocks!” The ten-year-old boy shouted, the kid of SinHa’s neighbor, suddenly entering the yard. „They found her at the big rocks,” he shouted again when he saw SolHi running out of the house and approaching him.

„At the rocks?” SolHi asked, dumbed. „Why at the rocks? Why?” Yet, even if she asked these questions, she didn’t wait for the answer because her heart started to beat madly in her chest. Heart beatings that she heard also in her ears, hinting to her that life was about to bring her again to her knees.

Soon after this, SolHi left the yard, running as chased by the devil toward the place where the kid told her that her mother had been found. She ran toward the same rocks where she loved to spend her free time each time she stopped by the village, the same rocks from off which her mother threw her into the water when she was still a child, one day when SinHa had had one of her usual fits of madness.

That day, after a big storm when the sea was still tormented, SolHi had been about to drown. This happened because, even if she asked SinHa, who was on the rocks and laughed like a mad person, to help her, SolHi didn’t receive any help. Who gave her a hand was a stranger, who passed by that place and saw when SinHa threw the child into the water. Because of this, he ran as fast as he could toward the rocks and saved her, giving another chance to life to SolHi.

Even so, SolHi didn’t have a better life after that day. She only started to fear cold and dark waters, just as she started fearing her mother. Yet, feeling all this, SolHi couldn’t abandon her mother or vanish from this world because she knew she had to be grateful for being alive, no matter that she had a difficult life and that SinHa treated her like the worse thing in her life.

At the same time, SolHi stopped bothering about the past, just as she was doing at that moment when she ran as fast as she could toward the sea. She was barely breathing, asking God over and over again for her mother to be safe. She even started to say, „She’s fine. She’s fine for sure. My mother must be fine. She only hid because of fear…” Yet, her thoughts and prayers had been in vain: she lost that day all she loved in life - the only person SolHi loved with all her heart, despite the suffering and bad moments she lived next to SinHa.

These moments were part of the past though. All that mattered to SolHi was that she still had a mother and a place to call home, a place she could return to when she had a bad time. Yet, as it always happened in her life, the cruel world took her the last chance to be happy and have a place to call home. How did Life do that? Simple: it took the life of the woman SolHi always warmly called mother.

„No, it’s not her!” SolHi stubbornly denied the fact, although she saw the villagers carrying SinHa’s lifeless body toward the beach, after taking her out of the water that swallowed her a week ago. „No, it’s not her for sure!” SolHi kept saying, shaking her head. Yet, the moment she intended to turn her back to the lifeless body, she finally saw the truth: the bracelet on SinHa’s left wrist, a bracelet SolHi gave her the last day she stopped by the village along with DooSan.

„Don’t lose it, okay?” SolHi told her mother that evening, putting the bracelet on SinHa’s wrist. „I bought it for you!” Then, while SinHa continued to enjoy the gift she received, like a child, SolHi continued to comb her wet hair, the same wet hair SolHi was seeing at that moment in front of her eyes. Yet, at that time, she didn’t see it falling on SinHa’s shoulders like that night, but on the sand… on the sand of that cold and unfriendly beach, something that made SolHi scream as though she lost her mind, „No, mother, please, not you!”

Finally accepting the reality, SolHi felt that the sky collapsed over her shoulders. She also felt the storm from her soul and that she wanted to be in her mother’s place, giving her a new chance to live, even for one more day. Yet, SolHi didn’t have such a power. She could only cry, holding SinHa’s lifeless body to her chest, and imagine that SinHa was still alive, just as she held her mother to her chest that evening when she gave her that bracelet.

All the villagers saw SolHi’s pain that day. The same pain that Iu Min saw too, the moment he tried to impede her approach SinHa, telling her, „It’s not worth it, SolHi! She’s…”

„Out of my way!” SolHi shouted at that moment. After that, as though she had lost her mind, she pushed him away from her and knelt next to the lifeless body of the woman who gave her life. And, with shaking hands, she started to caress her face, the wet hair, and her livid lips while SolHi’s lips, also livid because of so much biting them, were restlessly murmuring, „Come on, mother, don’t be like that! Wake up and let’s go home! Let’s go home, Mother! It’s what you want, isn’t it? It’s what you want!”

SolHi wanted to go home at that moment; she wanted to be in her mother’s arms. Yet, there wasn’t a way back home for SinHa, at least not that path onto which she could walk on her own feet. A thing SolHi didn’t want to understand at that moment, just as she couldn’t accept that life left her mother’s body in the form of a white bird, a magic bird of innocence because SinHa had always been the innocence for SolHi, reminding her about childhood and home.

***

„We found her between the rocks,” Iu Min told DooSan and Kan when they approached the beach, finding out about the tragedy. „It kept her away from the currents that could have dragged her on the high seas. If this had happened, we wouldn’t have found her ever.” Then, with sad eyes, he looked at SolHi, who looked frozen at that moment, staring at the tormented sea that took her mother from her while holding SinHa’s body to her chest.

DooSan saw the same when he looked at SolHi. Because of this, he felt his heart squeezing in pain. He also felt that he had to approach SolHi, hold her to his chest, and take her away from there because it was too cruel to let her keep her mother’s lifeless body in her arms. He knew that, but he didn’t dare do that. He couldn’t take from her the last moments she could spend along with her mother. At the same time, he couldn’t forget that he was there as a prosecutor too. Thus, once SinHa’s missing and death seemed strange, he knew he had to investigate them. SolHi wasn’t able to do that. That’s why he had to do that for her, although it meant to be cruel and cold with SolHi.

That’s why he asked Iu Min in a serious tone eventually, „How did you find out that she was at the rocks?”

„One of the locals told us,” the young man said in a low voice. „He saw someone at the rocks that night, the same night Aunt SinHa disappeared. He was coming back from work, late at night. Yet, as everybody here knows that SolHi loves to spend some time there when she comes here, he thought she was there and didn’t check.”

„When did this happen?” Asked Kan.

„A week ago!”

This answer drove Kan crazy. He even powerfully gnashed his teeth when he said, „She disappeared a week ago, but you called the police only now? And, more than this, why didn’t you tell SolHi about this? Why?”

Iu Min stared into Kan’s eyes. He wasn’t either furious or nervous but disappointed. He felt that not because Kan would have suspected them of crime, but because the people from his village had disappointed him, who often preferred ignoring things or staying away from others’problems than help. Then, understanding that silence wouldn’t help any of them, he said, „I also found out about this today, when I returned to the village. And, from what I found out, Aunt YeJin and her son hid this from many people here. The rest of the village helped them to look for SolHi’s mother though.”

„The villagers helped them,” said Kan ironically. Then, squeezing his fists while looking at SolHi’s sufferance, he said through his teeth, „As though this helped them in something…”

„Detective Kan, not now,” whispered DooSan. „Now we should find out the truth and make the necessary arrangements.”

„Make arrangements?” Iu Min asked in amazement. „I don’t see what else you should do when we can find everything for the funeral here. Yes, this village is small, but…”

„I was talking about the investigation, young man. Or what, doesn’t it seem suspicious to you, how Ku SinHa disappeared? It seems like that to me. That’s why, once I have my doubts that this isn’t a simple missing but a crime, I won’t leave this to chance. Especially, nobody touches that body except for SolHi. Not until the forensic team is here. At the same time, no word to SolHi about this. Just let her say goodbye to her mother, once she still can do that!” Then, feeling a deep pain in his chest, DooSan finally headed toward SolHi.

Kan and Iu Min, seeing DooSan’s hunched shoulders while heading toward SolHi, exchanged glances. At the same time, they understood that the prosecutor was right: Ku SinHa disappeared in strange circumstances. That’s why nothing could be left to chance.

***

The forensic team led by GhiYon got to SolHi’s house when it was night already. Because of this, DooSan told Kan and Yu to take SinHa’s body from the beach and leave it in the house, where SolHi was at that moment, knelt next to her mother, who had been taken to her room eventually. SolHi was too immersed in thoughts at that moment, that’s why she didn’t see the forensic doctors when they entered. Only when she felt some movement in front of her, did she look there and see four men in white entering her mother’s room.

Seeing them, SolHi shuddered. Then, in a shaking voice, she asked, „Doctor Park, what… what are you doing here?” Then, scared, she stood up, blocking the doctors’way toward SinHa’s body.

„Detective Ian,” said GhiYon in a low voice, seeing her like that, understanding very well how much SolHi suffered at that moment. „Just let us do our job! We’ve been called here for this. And, I promise you that I’ll take care of your mother’s body not to suffer too much.”

„Out,” shouted SolHi, at all eager to hear what the forensic doctor wanted to tell her. Her shout brought the others to the room eventually, people SolHi didn’t see at that moment. The only ones she was seeing were the forensic doctors, who were a real threat to her and her mother. Thus, as if she completely lost her mind, she started to push them away from SinHa’s body, yelling at them, „I said to get out! Out! Nobody touches her! None of you will touch her or I won’t be responsible for my acts!”

She stopped her crazy movement when DooSan grabbed her arm. This movement made SolHi look at him with the eyes of a beast, considering him her worst enemy, one whom she didn’t consider worthy to say a word. The same DooSan did: he only looked straight into her eyes, trying to make her think rationally and make her understand that she wasn’t alone there.

SolHi didn’t care about him or his care for her though. She didn’t care about anybody else, not even about Kan because she glared at him when the detective told her, „SolHi, I think you should accept reality and do what Prosecutor Han says. Eventually…”

„I don’t really care about your ideas,” SolHi said through her teeth, releasing her arm. „All I care about is her and that nobody should touch her, not when she suffered so much in her life. I won’t let her suffer more now that she…”

„What I won’t allow is her death to remain unpunished, SolHi. She disappeared so suddenly and this is suspicious,” DooSan shouted. „Just as I won’t allow the one who’s guilty of this to remain unpunished, not when Min SinJu can be responsible for this.”

„Min SinJu? Who’s Min SinJu?” The neighbors gathered in front of the door asked.

„Nobody. A fairy tale character,” replied Kan sarcastically. After that, with Yu and SuJin’s help, he pushed the curious ones out of the room, so as not to bother the forensic doctors.

Hearing Min SinJu’s name, SolHi got to hate him more than ever, suddenly coming back to her senses. Yet, even if she understood that maybe DooSan was right in suspecting SinJu for what happened to SinHa, she still said, „Even if he’s guilty of this, Prosecutor Han, I won’t…”

„You’ll do that, Detective Ian, because it’s an order,” said DooSan. „This is a crime and it’ll be investigated like any other crime. And, even if I know what kind of relationship we have, I won’t let this be an exception, not even for your sake.”

His authoritative voice and its coldness made SolHi stare into DooSan’s eyes. By doing this, she let DooSan understand that the hatred in her soul was increasing, a hatred for him. Even so, DooSan didn’t give up. He kept staying in the same place, without taking his eyes off her just to let her know that he wouldn’t give up on his decision and that he considered that order fair.

GhiYon thought differently though because DooSan’s sudden „authority” with SolHi seemed exaggerated to him. That’s why he said eventually, „Prosecutor Han, I think you go too far right now! And…”

„No exceptions, Doctor Park,” hissed DooSan through his teeth, staring into GhiYon’s eyes. „Just as I see that you aren’t doing the job I’ve summoned you here for. Or should we do that in your place?”

„I told you already that you are crossing the line, DooSan!” GhiYon replied in the same authoritative voice. „We are talking right now about the woman…”

GhiYon kept silent eventually, understanding that DooSan was adamant. A stubbornness he disliked, just as he hated the cruelty DooSan used to do things at that moment. It seemed to him that DooSan did everything to hurt SolHi more or maybe to take revenge on her.

Yet, DooSan wasn’t taking revenge on anybody at that moment. He acted like that because he understood that it was the only way he could make SolHi react, aware of her stubbornness and of the fact that if she decided something, she wasn’t giving up on this for anything in the world even if she knew she was wrong. Because of this, he decided to play the role of the antagonist in that story, just to make sure she wouldn’t regret later not having done everything to do justice to her mother.

DooSan did right by acting like that because this made SolHi suddenly move aside from the paramedics. This reaction amazed even GhiYon, who thought she wouldn’t ever give up and let them work. At the same time, the forensic doctor was amazed by the stubbornness he saw in her glance, a stubbornness he hadn’t ever seen in her eyes, but which was still useful at that moment. Even so, with all the „seriousness” that SolHi showed at that moment, he still saw how much she suffered. It was clear to him because he heard her gnashing her teeth and he saw her squeezing her fists to the blood too, hurting her palms with her nails because of impulsiveness.

Yet, even if SolHi did that to control herself, she still managed to move GhiYon. This made him approach SolHi eventually. And, touching her shoulder and looking at her while SolHi looked somewhere past him, the forensic doctor told her, „I promise you, Detective Ian, I’ll do my best for her not to suffer much, just as you wish. Just as I promise we’ll bring her back as soon as possible for funerals.”

SolHi said nothing, not until the forensic doctors left the room, taking SinHa with them inside a mortuary sack at which SolHi didn’t look. Only then did she look at GhiYon, telling him, „No exceptions, Doctor Park! Just… do your job! It’s all that matters to me, just as I’m interested in the results and to make justice for my mother. Yes, I’m Ku SinHa’s daughter, but I’m also a detective, one that has always done justice to others and I’ll do the same for her.”

„We’ll do it so then,” murmured GhiYon. Before leaving the room, he looked only for a moment at DooSan, who was standing not that far from SolHi, looking not at her but somewhere in front.

Only the two of them into the room, DooSan and SolHi kept looking randomly around them but not at each other. Only when the siren of the ambulance was heard when it left the yard did the man dare to look at her and said, „Listen, SolHi, I just…” He even tried to grab her hand.

SolHi pushed him away from her. Then, glaring at him, she said, „I don’t want anything from you, Prosecutor Han. I really don’t need anything from you. Even so, you managed to trample every single beautiful thing that was between us. I can even congratulate you because, once again, you made it: you showed me who is the boss, in my house, in front of my dead mother.”

„All I did was to make you see reality, SolHi. Or what, will you deny that you weren’t rationally thinking?”

„Yes, I agree now: I wasn’t rationally thinking because my mother was lying on this cold floor after a week of staying in cold waters. Even so, I’ve been forced to see the reality. So suddenly, and this thanks to you, who took care that I see the damn truth.”

„I did that for you!”

„No, Han DooSan, you did that for you. Thus, nobody will ever reproach you that you’ve done someone a favor,” she said in a harsh tone, leaving the room after this.

DooSan sadly looked behind her. His heart hurt him because of her reaction and because she judged him so harshly. Yet, he understood that he deserved to be coldly treated by her. Eventually, he’d been harsh with her too, not letting her feel sorrow for herself as she generally used to do.

***

After what happened in SinHa’s room, SolHi had another surprise once she got to the yard. This happened because Kan and SuJin, who, returning from the village, where they checked what the street surveillance cameras had recorded, told Yu, „Only one black van entered the village that night. It had no plaques and, because of the tinted windows, we couldn’t see who was behind the wheel. Even so, from what the villagers said, the van headed in the direction of the deceased’s house.”

„What?” SolHi murmured, thunderstruck. Her whisper made the three men turn toward her, understanding that they made a mistake talking about that there when they should have gone somewhere else or at least checked she wouldn’t hear their talk. Yet, it was already too late because not only SolHi heard what they said but also DooSan, who followed SolHi seconds after she left the room. „What van are you talking about, sombe?” SolHi asked in a shaking voice, seeing the three men exchanging glances.

„One that entered the village that night,” replied Kan, stuttering. „We saw them in the video the street surveillance cameras recorded, but even so we aren’t sure if it had something to do with your mother’s death or it just passed by here. Yet, we suspect that it might be because of Min SinJu’s request to find out more about your past. That’s why I…”

„What you mean is that they might have come to this village at Min SinJu’s request to throw my mother into the water?”

„SolHi, it’s just a supposition,” said Yu, taking a step toward her. Yet, he couldn’t touch her arm as he intended because SolHi shied away. This didn’t discourage the Inspector, aware that she wasn’t acting normally at that moment. That’s why he added, „Actually, we suspect that because of Yun Shi Yon, who had the same death as your mother.”

„Let’s not forget that Yun Shi Yon was killed at Min SinJu’s order because she knew that he’d been to Lee Ha Ni’s apartment the night she’d been killed,” said DooSan. „In the case of SolHi’s mother… they didn’t have a reason to do that because…”

DooSan kept silent and winced as the others did the moment SolHi moved away from them and, quickening her pace, she approached Old YeJin and her son when they entered the yard. SuJin had even been forced to block SolHi’s way when he realized that she was capable of everything at that moment. He wasn’t wrong in thinking so because, two steps from the two, held away from them by SuJin, SolHi yelled, „How could you do that, Old YeJin? How could you hide from me that my mother was missing?”

„SolHi, I… we…” the old woman stuttered, looking elsewhere.

The fact that the old woman hesitated to answer her question and avoided looking into her eyes drove SolHi crazier. Because of this, unable to control herself anymore, SolHi yelled again, „Talk to me! Tell me why! Why did you do that, Granma YeJin? I trusted you! I let you take care of her because you promised me that. You instead…” SolHi kept yelling, struggling to release herself from SuJin’s arms to get to the old woman and her son.

SolHi looked with hatred at the old woman’s son when he snapped at her, „What’s your problem with this old woman, dement? Are you stepping in your crazy mother’s footsteps or what? If yes, go and hospitalize yourself in a madhouse and stop making others suffer because of you as your mother did all these years because she took care of the crazy one while you were having fun in the Capital City, living your life well. Or what, am I wrong now or what?”

The story has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.

All that SolHi heard at that moment were more insults about her mother. This made her feel hatred boiling inside her. A hatred that made her suddenly hiss through her teeth, „Crazy? Dement?” After that, pushing SuJin away from her, she tried to approach the idiot in front of her and punch him.

She couldn’t do that eventually because of DooSan, who suddenly took her in his arms and whispered into her ear, „It’s not worth it, SolHi! They’ll pay for what they did for sure!” Soon after this, DooSan and SolHi looked in amazement toward Old YeJin’s son, who was lying on the ground with his lips stained by blood, which he was touching at that moment.

Who punched the man had been Kan. This one, at all impressed by the old woman who started to cry seeing her son lying on the ground and hit, said in mockery, looking at his fist, „All I did was to chase a fly away. I hope I didn’t exaggerate too much.”

„Enough!” SolHi suddenly whispered, making everybody look in amazement at her. „Revenge isn’t something that interests me right now. All I want to know is what happened to my mother. So, Old YeJin, tell me: what exactly happened then? Did those men really stop by our house?”

Fixing her glance into the old woman’s eyes, SolHi saw her looking elsewhere, a reaction that seemed strange to everybody. Especially, they found this weird when they heard her saying, „We don’t know, SolHi. We were gone for a very short time. Yet, when we were back…”

„You were gone? You came back?” SolHi murmured, confused, shaking her head. „Wait a minute because I don’t follow you! What do you mean by… when you were back? Are you trying to say that you’ve left my mother alone?”

„Yeah,” Old YeJin’s son arrogantly replied while standing up and touching his bloody lips. „She wasn’t to stay with your crazy mother 24/7.”

His commentary brought SolHi’s madness back. Thus, feeling her blood boiling in her veins, she yelled at him again, „Of course, she was forced to stay with my mother, 24/7. Why? Because I was paying you very well to do that. I paid for every single debt you got in a gambling house, by the way.”

Only then did DooSan understand what exactly SolHi experienced in her life. Then, sad and disappointed because of people, he whispered to himself, „I see now why you don’t trust people, SolHi. They had really disappointed you and always brought you to your knees as you said.” He even looked elsewhere after this, disappointed because of himself and feeling sorrow for every single bad word he told her that day at the hospital.

Yet, it was too late for regrets. All he had to do at that moment was to stay with her. That’s why he squeezed her hand at one point, letting her know that he was there for all she needed.

SolHi didn’t feel his support though. All that mattered to her was that she finally found out the truth: she paid more money than she had to pay to protect her mother but even so it hadn’t been enough because SinHa had always been unprotected. This truth hurt her so much. She felt it like a sharp knife stabbed into her heart, something that made her feel that she wanted to vanish from off the earth’s surface again. She couldn’t do that though because she had to make justice to her mother first. Because of this, she said in a shaking voice eventually, „You should have told me then: that it was too hard for you to take care of her. I would have found another place for my mother, a place where she would have been protected. Now…” SolHi burst into tears. „At least… you should have told me the day she disappeared. If this had happened…”

„We didn’t say a word because we thought we could find her quickly,” the old woman tried to justify her acts, struggling to grab SolHi’s hands, which SolHi pulled back each time she felt the woman’s fingers touching her skin. SolHi even felt contempt at one point because of that touch. Yet, Old YeJin seemed not to care about this. All that she wanted was to go away with it and justify her decisions. „You know very well that SinHa had disappeared before too. Yet, we had always found her. That’s why we thought that…”

„But you didn’t find her, Old YeJin,” said SolHi through sobbing. „You didn’t find her as quickly as you thought. Even so, all of you kept silent about this, even if you knew very well where I work and that I could have done something to find her easily. Because of your silence, my mother spent days there… where it is dark, cold, and where nobody could hold her in his arms and tell her that she could finally rest in peace because… my mother lived too long in darkness. She shouldn’t have lived in the same darkness even after her death. You instead… you…”

„I know, SolHi… Yet, we… we couldn’t tell you,” the woman kept lamenting, trying to reach SolHi again. Yet, she couldn’t do that because of Kan and DooSan, who, understanding how much pain the old woman was causing SolHi at that moment, blocked her way.

DooSan even held SolHi to his chest when she burst into tears again. He said nothing to her though because he knew that words weren’t necessary at that moment. All that mattered to him was that he was there for her, next to her, and that she wasn’t alone.

Thus, held to his chest, SolHi cried a lot. She still heard Old YeJin’s laments, who asked her to forgive them. That’s why SolHi murmured eventually into DooSan’s ear, „I want them to vanish, DooSan! I want them to disappear off the earth’s surface if possible! I just want to never see them again.”

„Got it!” DooSan whispered, caressing her hair. Then, he pointed with his head toward the old woman and her son, letting Kan understand that it was time to take them away from there. An order Kan and Yu fulfilled right away, taking the two out of the yard to the patrols.

***

Although water always took from her the people SolHi loved, making her sad, it also always calmed her down. Because of this, she went to the rocks each time the storm turned back into her soul, as it happened that day when she lost her mother forever. There, at the rocks, SolHi hoped that the sea breeze and the coldness of the water would caress her cheeks bathed by bitter tears.

That day the sea didn’t calm her down as SolHi hoped. On the contrary, it seemed that the breeze ignited more and more the fire from her soul. A fire that smoldered until that moment, but which blew up once she got to the rocks. This made her feel at one point that she lacked air.

All this made SolHi suddenly shout, „I want to breathe! I want this to be over! I want to see the sun in the sky again. Do I ask so much, God? Do I ask that much?”

She didn’t receive an answer from the stars. SolHi only felt that DooSan put his jacket on her shoulders. After that, when SolHi sat down on one rock, lacking power, the man sat by her side and told her, „If you feel that, cry, SolHi! Cry as much as you need, until your soul calms down and you’ll be able to heal eventually.”

SolHi didn’t say anything after that whisper. She only looked elsewhere, in the distance. She was upset with him because he took SinHa from her and gave her mother to GhiYon to take her to a cold and unfriendly room, which SinHa had always been afraid of. At the same time, she knew DooSan didn’t do that to hurt her but because it was fair and the only way they could find out the truth. Yet, this didn’t mean that this hurt less.

On the contrary, sitting by him, she felt she lacked air because, on one side - she wanted with all her heart to cry at his chest, tightly hold between his strong arms, while, on the other hand, she wanted to run away from him, considering him her enemy. She couldn’t run though. There wasn’t a place for her to hide, just as she was forced to hear everything he wanted to tell her, although SolHi would have liked both of them to keep silent.

DooSan thought differently though. All that mattered to him was to know her next to him because he knew she was fine and far from madness. That’s why he told her eventually, „Even if I know you want me far from you, I won’t do that, SolHi. I’ll stay here as long as you need this.”

„Even if you know that’s not what I want?” She asked him, not watching him.

„Mmm, I won’t leave. Even if you want this.”

„Why?” SolHi asked him, finally watching him.

„Because… you need me,” murmured DooSan. Then, grabbing her hand, he pulled her to his chest. After that, hiding his face in her hair, the color of the ripe chestnuts, he deeply breathed in her perfume, which was so strong at that moment because of the sea breeze.

Seeing that SolHi didn’t fight with him after that hug, DooSan seemed so amazed. How not to be when he felt SolHi’s arms wrapping around his body after this while she kept hiding her face at his chest, slowly shaking under the burden of the tears that finally wet the shirt’s cloth. Tears that made the man sadly smile eventually. At the same time, he was happy, and not because he was there, but because he knew that the tears would release her soul and allow her to breathe again.

They thought they were alone there, but they were so wrong, just as DooSan was wrong in thinking that he was the only one who cared about SolHi. A few steps from them, Iu Min was, listening to their whisper in silence. This made Iu Min feel so deserted because it hurt him so much to see SolHi in the arms of a rival, one who so gently kissed the top of her head, another man who dared to let her know he loved her.

And, so suddenly, Iu Min wished the same: to hold SolHi to his chest and finally accept he also loved her. He didn’t do that though, not at that moment, aware that it wasn’t the right time for that. By doing this, he gave his rival the perfect chance to tell her about his feelings, something Iu Min always wanted to do, but what he had never done because of his cowardice.

***

„Still, you lied to me, Old YeJin,” SolHi told the woman the same night when they came to Seoul for the funerals and she went to Kanam Police Station where the woman and her son had been taken at DooSan’s order, for further investigations. „You told me that you left her alone for a very short time. Yet, it was a lie because you returned in the morning. Don’t even try to justify yourself or tell me that’s not right because the neighbors saw you entering our yard only in the morning.”

SolHi’s words filled the woman’s eyes with tears. Because of this, she murmured in a shaking voice eventually, „SolHi, I just…”

The old woman’s tears didn’t impress SolHi. On the contrary, it hardened her heart more because she asked her in a harsh voice, „Why did you do that? Why did you leave her alone when you always said that my mother was like a daughter to you? You even swore you wouldn’t ever make her suffer. Instead… due to the same „care,” she died alone, in the coldness and the darkness of the waters. She didn’t deserve that. My mother suffered too much being alive to suffer even after death.”

Mirroring her glance into the teary one of the old woman, SolHi felt hatred. She didn’t feel this for the old woman, but for herself, for not being able to protect her mother as she swore still being a child. Even so, when Old YeJin said, „As SinHa’s daughter, you have the right to hate me,” she started to shake slowly. More when she heard the woman saying, „Even so, I don’t regret anything because I’ve done everything I could to find her as soon as possible. All I did was because I didn’t want to hurt you more. After all, you also suffered so much in this life.”

„Still, you did that,” SolHi whispered with hatred. „You lied to me. You are lying to me right now. Lies I’ve always been aware of, like the one that my mother destroyed things in the shop of Mrs. Ho when you needed that money for your useless son, in fact. You asked for that money, thinking I didn’t know anything. For the same reason, you didn’t tell me about my mother: you hoped that you’d find her and hide from me what has happened just to be able to make me send you more money as if nothing happened.”

„It’s nothing like that, SolHi. We didn’t hide this from you because we were afraid. We only wanted to find her as quickly as possible.”

„You are lying to me again, looking into my eyes. Why? Because you knew very well that I was working for the Prosecution and had the resources to find my mother.”

„This doesn’t guarantee the fact that we have found her alive, SolHi. We don’t know when SinHa fell into the water and…”

„You would have known that if you hadn’t left her alone!” SolHi hissed through her teeth. „You would have known that if you had really cared about her. You instead… only cared about money. That’s why you hid everything from me: to have a sure and continue source of money for your loan sharks, whom your son always owed something. Or… am I wrong?” SolHi asked this, supporting her elbows on the table and leaning in front a little.

SolHi’s glance, fixed into the woman’s eyes, made the old woman finally look elsewhere. Then, in a shaking voice, Old YeJin said, „No, you aren’t!”

„At least you accept that!” SolHi replied, disappointed. Then she closed her eyes. She was completely grossed out, hearing the woman’s muffled cry. SolHi even squeezed her fists at one point when she felt she was capable of destroying everything around her.

DooSan also saw her doing this. He was in the Monitoring Room at that moment, watching the interrogatory. Actually, DooSan was there with SolHi’s acceptance because this had been his condition to let her see Old YeJin that night. Yet, DooSan did that because he was afraid that SolHi, in a fit of madness, would pounce on the old woman and make justice with her own hands. However, seeing so much sufferance in the eyes of his beloved woman, he understood that he had been wrong allowing her to see the old woman. At the same time, he was aware that only by facing reality, SolHi could stand up again, avoiding sinking in the darkness of pain that would have destroyed her soul, always wondering, „What if…”

DooSan even shuddered at one point when he heard SolHi saying, „You haven’t ever been underwater, Old YeJin. You don’t know its debts and you have never felt the cold-like-ice on your skin. That’s why you don’t know how is to die there. I know that though. I know what it feels like to be in cold waters. That’s why it hurts so much to know how my mother died.”

„She died in the same place where she tried to kill you twenty years ago,” the old woman said in a serious voice, as though trying to hurt SolHi by saying this. Whom she managed to stun eventually had been DooSan, who hadn’t ever been aware of SinHa’s attempt to kill her daughter.

At all impressed by the old woman’s words, SolHi drily replied, „Still, I don’t judge her, for the simple fact she wasn’t aware of what she was doing.”

„That’s why you’ve forgiven her?” The woman whispered. „For throwing you off those rocks to save herself, are you forgiving her only because of madness?”

„You are nobody to judge my mother, Old YeJin. What she did was her sin. And, if someone has to judge her, it’ll be God.”

„What about you, SolHi? What about your feelings? Have you forgotten everything she did to you? If yes, you are stupid because another one in your place would have turned his back on her and left long ago.”

„To leave, Grandma? Where? To run? Why? More… why should I have done that? To live better? Do you really think that by forgetting his parents and his childhood, one lives better? I don’t think so. Just as I haven’t forgiven anything or judged nobody’s faults. Especially, I didn’t judge my mother, and this was because I was just a child when this happened. I was a child who wasn’t to blame for her madness. Even so, I paid for this and for others’fault. Yet, this didn’t ever give me the right to turn my back on the one who brought me into this world.”

„Being someone’s mother doesn’t justify the pain one causes to her child, SolHi.”

„Do you think I don’t know that? Of course, I know. Yet, I didn’t care about this. All that mattered to me was that I still had a family, one I lost because of your greed. That’s why I won’t ever forgive you, Old YeJin, as long as I still breathe.” SolHi stood up after this, intending to leave.

SolHi kept sitting on the chair eventually because of the old woman who suddenly grabbed her hands and squeezed them. Then, staring into SolHi’s eyes, she told her in a pleading voice, „Please, SolHi, I beg you: no matter what you feel right now, don’t take revenge on my son for what has happened. He’s not to blame for this, only me. That’s why, if you want to take revenge on someone, then… take revenge on me because I’ve left her alone. Please, SolHi, save my son because… he’s the only family I have.”

The woman’s words made SolHi smile. She sadly smiled, weirdly. After that, grossed out, she released her hands from the trap of the old woman’s hands. And, looking straight into her eyes, SolHi told her, „To save him? The parasite that turned me into an orphan when he took my mother from me, although he’s still alive thanks to her? No, Granma: I won’t do that. Why? Because he took you from my mother that night. If he hadn’t been there, you would have spent the night with my mother and she would have been alive now.”

„Even so, SolHi,” the old woman insisted, holding SolHi’s hands into hers again, „I’ve always been with her. All these years, I took care of her. So, if you have some mercy on me, then…”

„Mercy? Care? No, Old YeJin, your „care” had a price. I paid you very well all these years. I paid more than we agreed. Care that cost me too much, and I’m not talking about all the money I sent to pay what my mother „destroyed,” money that got into the loan shark’s pocket while I was practically starving. Even so, I said nothing. I told myself that I had to be grateful and accept everything, something I regret so much right now. Why? Because… if I had dared to hospitalize my mother, she would have been fine right now and wouldn’t have spent her last minutes of life in the hands of assassins like you and your son.”

SolHi hissed the last words with hatred, gnashing her teeth eventually while releasing her hands. Then, standing up, she stared into the old woman’s eyes when the woman asked her, „Why are you doing all this, SolHi?”

„For justice, Grandma! For justice, even if I swore not to do that. I’ll do it though because those, who told me not long ago that I beg for mercy instead of fighting, were right. They have been also right in saying that I’ve always done everything for others but never for myself. Something I’ll start doing right now: I’ll do justice to my mother and myself. Yet, don’t worry: I won’t do that with my own hand. I won’t stain my hands with your blood. Even so, I’ll take care of this, asking the justice to make you pay very hard for what you’ve done.”

Saying this, SolHi turned her back to the old man and left the Interrogatory Room. She didn’t look back even for a second or care about the woman’s tears, who knelt behind her, begging to save her son. She just left everything behind. And, closing the door behind her, SolHi felt that she was so powerless, something that made her squeeze the doorknob to avoid falling.

When DooSan approached her, he found her staying by the door and staring in front. She seemed absent at that moment. That’s why he asked her, somehow afraid, „Are you alright?”

Looking at him, with teary eyes, SolHi whispered, „I can’t be fine, DooSan. I can’t when this burden presses over my chest and doesn’t let me breathe.”

DooSan said nothing after this. He only held her to his chest again. Then, he allowed her to cry all the tears she had to cry, without caring about the curiosity seen in their colleagues’eyes, who were wondering if something was between them.

***

Hungry flames were eating the sarcophagi inside of which SinHa’s body had been put. A wooden sarcophagi, beautifully ornamented, as SinHa’s last wish was. She wanted to spend her last moments on earth like that, a wish she told SolHi about when she was still little, one day when SinHa was lucid, „Let the flames burn my body, SolHi! If I die, you should spread my ashes over the sea. Thus, I’ll be able to float above the water and feel myself free, forever.”

SolHi remembered what her mother asked her to do when Kan asked her how she’d like SinHa’s funerals to be. It’s when SolHi drily replied, „We’ll stop by the crematory before returning to the village.” After that, she headed toward the car and left along with Yu and Yoon Suk while Kan and DooSan followed them in a second car.

While heading toward the crematory, SolHi looked at the crowded streets of Seoul City, leaning her head against the car window. Thus, SolHi took thoughts and remembered the day SinHa told her about the last wish. SolHi was only eleven at that time. Even so, she clearly remembered her mother’s words, who told her that day, „If I die, SolHi, let the flames turn my body into ashes.” SinHa told her daughter these words one evening when the girl turned home after she and Iu Min finished washing the fishing boat for a few pennies.

Little SolHi didn’t understand very well what her mother told her that night. That’s why she looked at her, confused, staying right in front of SinHa. She had even been stunned when SinHa held her to her chest, for the first time in her life, or at least this was what SolHi remembered. Then, touching SolHi’s forehead with her forehead, SinHa added, „I don’t want a traditional funeral, SolHi. I don’t want to lay under the cold ground. So, just turn me into ashes and let me freely fly above waters.”

Yet, even if SinHa’s words seemed so cruel that day, at that moment when SolHi was in the car and was heading toward the crematory, looking at the rush of the cars that passed by, she smiled. She did that, realizing that her mother didn’t hate her, but she also trusted SolHi if she asked her to bury her like that. She felt that her mother also loved her, and not only hated her or asked her to vanish from in front of her as SolHi always remembered her childhood had been.

These memories made SolHi whisper eventually while looking at the flames that were dancing around the sarcophagi, „Your dream was fulfilled, Mother.” Then, squeezing DooSan’s hand, who was next to her, SolHi smiled through tears, understanding that she wasn’t alone in that difficult moment for her.

***

The next morning after the cremation, SolHi and the rest of those who came to SinHa’s funerals went to the beach. She did that because she knew that if SinHa hated something in life, it was to be closed inside a house. That’s why SolHi decided to give her the freedom SinHa asked her for instead of closing her into a cold jar, in which she put her mother’s ashes after the cremation.

The place SolHi chose to spread the ashes was that part of the beach, the one next to the rocks off which SinHa fell. She chose that place, thinking that her mother’s soul was still there. Thus, she would have seen that SolHi fulfilled her last wish. Yet, before giving her mother’s ashes to the wind and the sea, SolHi allowed the villagers, who had taken care of SinHa all those years, to say goodbye to her.

For this, to allow them to show respect for the one who died, all those who approached SinHa’s photo and the small white recipient with her ashes, which were left on a white sheet right on the sand, left a white flower and a stone next to it, building a kind of small tower. Then, one by one, they bowed in front of SolHi, saying nothing.

Only Old Pan, who had been the last one to approach SolHi, told her, „Forgive our mistakes, SolHi. Forgive our sins, those we made in this life or after it. Sins we’ll pay for when we see your mother again. Yet, until this happens, I say to let this go because a life full of resentment doesn’t do any good to any of us. Just allow beautiful memories to enter your soul.” After that, the old man bowed three times in front of SinHa’s photo.

SolHi didn’t look at the old man, neither while he talked nor when he left. She only bowed in front of him, as the traditions asked to show respect. Then, she hugged Mina, who approached SinHa’s photo to say goodbye to her too. After that, deserted and so empty inside, SolHi looked at the sea, for so long.

Eventually, when the last villager said goodbye to SinHa, SolHi took the white jar with her mother’s ashes and approached the sea. There, once the water got to her knees, SolHi took the lid and, sinking her hand into the warm ashes, she smiled and said, „It’s so warm! As it had been your hand while you were still alive, Mother, and I could touch it!” Saying this, SolHi took her hand out of the jar and, opening her palm, she let the ashes freely fly above the water on the wind’s wings.

***

ONE WEEK BEFORE. THE NIGHT WHEN SINHA DIED.

Sleeping on the floor, with the doll held into her arms, SinHa moved in sleep when she heard some noise outside. Then, when the noise turned louder, SinHa sat on the floor and carefully listened to what was heard outside. Yet, seeing that nobody entered her room, even if she thought Old YeJin returned, SinHa approached the door, which she cracked a little, and looked at the yard. There was nobody. Only in front of the gate, she saw the black van and about 6 men in black that got out of it and headed toward the fence, over which they jumped and headed toward the house eventually.

Seeing them, SinHa turned nervous. „Bad men!” She murmured. „Evil people are here, they came after me!” Then, scared, SinHa grabbed the doll by the hand, squeezing it, and jumped through the open window into the backyard.

SinHa jumped through the window just in time because, a few moments after this, the aggressors entered the room, trying to make less possible noise. Seeing the open window, they understood that the woman had run and decided to catch up with her as soon as possible. Yet, not after minutes in a row, of looking for her in the backyard and the surroundings, they couldn’t find the place where SinHa hid. She saw them though, hiding behind some bushes, and covering her mouth with both palms, afraid not to be heard moaning.

Only when they passed by her in a hurry, SinHa understood that they left. That’s why she got out of her hideout and ran as fast as she could toward the beach. She made no sound while running or asked for help as she used to do each time she was scared. She just kept running toward the rocks, aware that SolHi used to spend some time there, thinking that if she had found her daughter, she would have been saved eventually.

Arriving at the rocks, SinHa didn’t find anybody there though. Even so, she still climbed on them. Not even the fact that she hurt her legs and palms because she slipped didn’t impede her from getting on top of them. Then, up there, SinHa looked around, allowing the sea breeze to comfort her skin. She fully enjoyed those moments there, the silence she had always been afraid of, but which calmed her so much at that moment, alluring her toward the waves more and more.

Eventually, hearing someone approaching, SinHa turned and looked at the road. There, she saw the weak light of one bike. This made SinHa yell, „Home! SolHi, it’s you?” Nobody answered because the villager on the bike was too far from her to hear her shouts. Even so, SinHa was happy, thinking that SolHi was coming home, and rushed to descend off the rocks. Thus, because of the sudden move, her sole slipped and she dropped the doll, which had been right away swallowed by the waves.

Seeing the doll swallowed by the waves, SinHa got crazy and started to yell, „SolHi, my little girl fell into the water! Someone, help me! Please, help me!” Yet, there wasn’t anybody to hear her words or help her. There was nobody even when SinHa squatted and stretched her hand to grab the doll that surfaced eventually, seeing not a doll there, but little SolHi, whom she had thrown into the sea twenty years ago and was struggling to stay in the water surface and not drown. A memory of that day, which allured her closer and closer to the water, being swallowed by it eventually… forever…