A strange sound of barefoot soles stepping on a wet floor has been suddenly heard around. Yet, no matter how hard she didn’t try to see who was approaching her, SolHi couldn’t do that. On the contrary, the darkness all around her seemed even thicker than before with each breath she inhaled. Because of this, she started to feel the cold all around her too, just as she started to feel the cold beads of sweat running down her back and a strange feeling of dryness inside her throat.

Then, suddenly, a blinding light pierced the darkness. This bothered her and made her cover her eyes with her arm in order not to get blind. Yet, opening them again, she shuddered when she saw other barefoot feet at her feet… feet covered by blood that made her fear with all her heart.

Seeing them, SolHi pulled back, scared, thinking that the woman whose bloody feet she saw was heading toward her. Then, feeling something cold under her soles, she looked down and, instead of the faience floor of her bathroom, she saw a cold cement floor of an unknown place. She saw something more strangely there: that those bloody feet were hers, something that made her shudder from top to toe. More than that, she felt terrified when she finally noticed that red liquid that was approaching her… something similar to a high tide. Then, that red liquid got up to her ankles, making her shudder more while feeling the coldness of it deep inside her.

When she felt the water rising on her feet, SolHi covered her mouth with both palms so as not to shout because she suddenly felt a great pain in her chest. She wanted so badly to yell her pain at that moment. Yet, she couldn’t do that eventually because her yell suddenly stopped halfway through her throat, making her suffer more. She felt all this when she saw another She in front of her, a different she, something that scared her like hell.

Soon after this, SolHi understood that she didn’t know that woman. At least she thought this because of the darkness that surrounded her again. Even so, when she spotted that woman heading toward her, SolHi demanded her, in a shout, to stop because she didn’t want to see her. And, to make sure she wouldn’t see who that woman was, SolHi tightly closed her eyes.

She opened her eyes right away the moment she realized that the stranger was wearing a white dress. „The same dress I wore then. But… why? Why is she wearing a similar dress? Why is she here? Why now? Why?” SolHi kept yelling in her head, desperately trying to find an answer to all her questions.

She didn’t find an answer to her questions eventually. Instead, the fear turned back in her chest the moment she heard a shriek, something made by a metallic bar dragged on that cement floor. This made SolHi attentive because she knew that noise, she heard it before, and it meant only one thing - danger. Yet, even if something told her to leave that place immediately, she couldn’t move as though her entire body was paralyzed.

What she could do was to look at the faceless woman again, seeing her in the same place SolHi had seen her before. „She’s probably also afraid. That’s why she isn’t leaving,” SolHi caught a thought crossing her mind. Yet, she didn’t think too much about this because, suddenly, she saw the metallic bar in the woman’s hands and she hit the air.

The faceless woman hit so suddenly that SolHi shuddered because she thought the stranger would hit her. At least she thought this at first. Yet, when the metallic bar passed by her, SolHi looked behind and saw the object hitting the wall behind her and falling on the floor eventually. Then, she covered her ears with both palms when she heard the noise produced by the metallic bar in contact with the floor. After that, feeling the pain piercing the top of her head, SolHi covered it with her palms and pressed, repeatedly murmuring, „Why are you doing this? Why?” Yet, the stranger said nothing, not even at that time. Even so, SolHi knew that the other woman was still in front of her. She could see her feet. And, finally daring to look at the stranger again, SolHi saw herself… covered by blood and looking in front, as though she was a crazy person that completely lost her mind.

The other She that was staring at something behind her made SolHi finally look back. She did that because she felt a strange impulse inside because those empty eyes, of the other She from in front of her, seemed to talk to her and tell her to do that. Thus, looking behind her, SolHi saw someone lying on the floor… a man. He was with his back to her, with a deep wound at the back of his head, and wore a black suit.

Seeing another victim there made SolHi want to stand up. She couldn’t do that though. She felt that her legs didn’t listen to the command of her brain. Even so, something told SolHi that she had to help that man. Yet, she couldn’t do that because she felt that lacked more power than before. That’s why she looked in front again, intending to ask the other She for help. Nevertheless, the other SolHi wasn’t there anymore.

This scared SolHi a lot… the one that was still squatting. Even so, she kept looking around, thinking that if she had tried to see the other She, it would have been possible for sure. And she saw her… unconscious, lying next to that man. After that, SolHi saw someone mercilessly kicking her. She heard herself asking for help, telling that monster that was hurting her to let her breathe and live. Yet, he didn’t listen to her. He seemed to kick her more powerfully than before despite her supplications. This made SolHi, the observer, want to yell, ask for help, and live. She couldn’t do that at that moment… she could only grope for something around her, thinking to find the metallic bar and help herself, but she couldn’t… She couldn’t because there was nothing there to help her… There was only darkness, a cold cement floor, an unknown place, two victims, and a monster that hurt her…

***

„It was just a dream,” SolHi murmured, eyes bathed with tears. After that, she sat up in bed, realizing that nothing from what she lived in that dream was real. Even so, she felt it so real, she fully lived it, and something that bathed her in cold sweat and made her heart madly beat in her chest. At the same time, she kept hearing a strange buzzing in her ears, something that made her want to vomit eventually. Then, when she could control that dizziness, SolHi told herself, „It was a dream, but I don’t understand why I had it. Is it because of what Dja Iun said? That many of those girls never return from that hell?”

„Probably yes,” SolHi responded to her own question. She kept sitting on the bed, running her hand through her hair as though this would have helped her to think. Feeling tears running down her cheeks made her come to her senses eventually. And, touching one tear with her index finger, SolHi looked at it although it was dark in the room. Thus, she saw a blind sparkle and nothing more, a product of the weak light that entered the room through the half-open curtains. „And I think I’m losing my mind,” she murmured in the end, wiping the tear with the other fingers. Then, she intended to lay back and sleep. When she did that, SolHi felt a sharp pain crossing her stomach and stopping in her belly, something that made her crouch in bed.

„Please, not now,” she murmured. „Not now when he is here.” And, not to be heard moaning and make the pain easier to bear up with, SolHi crouched more, thinking that if she had stood like this for a while, the pain would have gone eventually.

Instead of going away, the pain intensified. Even the fever started to shake SolHi’s body, as it happened each time she had a crisis. And, understanding that the crisis was inevitable and because she didn’t want to be heard by DooSan moaning and crying, SolHi crawled out of bed. After that, half-bent, she entered the bathroom and locked the door. She intended to get to the sink, but she felt powerless next to the door, where she collapsed, starting to convulse.

Although she was convulsing, SolHi’s mind still clearly thought, telling her that she had to get to the sink and to the cabinet that was above it and take her medicine. If she hadn’t done this, she would have been lost for sure. Because of this, as she could, SolHi started to crawl toward the sink. Once there, she felt that the pain weakened a little and she could breathe again.

That short phase of relaxation didn’t deceive SolHi or tell her that the pain was gone. It happened to her before and she knew that without the medicine the pain would have returned very soon. Knowing all this, SolHi decided to take advantage of that short time of free pain, and, grabbing the edge of the sink with both hands, she pulled up, trying to stay on her feet. Doing this, SolHi moaned, biting her tongue so as not to moan loudly. After that, she opened the cabinet’s door and stretched her left hand toward the bottle of medicine. She didn’t reach it because of the convulsions that suddenly returned, even more intense than before.

Feeling all this, SolHi started to slowly cry, asking God for mercy and to give her more time. Yet, God seemed not to hear her at that moment because the pain was unbearable. Even so, SolHi kept struggling with herself to get to that medicine bottle and save herself. Yet, the moment her fingers got to the medicine bottle, she collapsed to the floor again, throwing the medicine bottle too, and the pills spread all over the floor.

Even if that noise was almost deaf, DooSan still could hear it. Thus, awakening because of the noise, he sat up on the couch, looking around, confused. He noticed that SolHi wasn’t in her bed and this made him frown. Then, hearing deaf but rhythmic hits on the bathroom door, he stood up and headed toward the bathroom. Once next to the door, DooSan knocked but heard no answer. This made him insist because those deaf hits started to preoccupy him. „SolHi? Are you there?” He asked. No answer was heard, not even this time. Even so, DooSan didn’t leave because the anxiety sneaked into his soul because of the weird noise heard from the bathroom as though something would have repeatedly hit the bathroom or the tub. Feeling all this, DooSan insistently knocked on the door, almost yelling the questions this time, „SolHi, what is going on there? Why aren’t you responding to me? Do you hear me? Say something, SolHi! Say something!”

Although she clearly heard his questions, SolHi couldn’t answer them. She simply couldn’t do that. She had power only to grab the towel she saw next to her and bite it to impede DooSan from hearing her moans because of the pain that was intensifying.

Yet, when she heard DooSan saying, „If you don’t open this door, I will knock it down,” SolHi understood that she had to do something because he wouldn’t have left her alone. She didn’t know what to do even if she knew she had to do something. For the moment, it was a good idea to let him in and, as she could, pretend to be in pain because of her period or something like that. This could have deceived him at that time. And, having this thought, although she had so little power, SolHi sat up on the floor and unlocked the door.

Letting DooSan in, SolHi understood that it hadn’t been a good idea because the pain was simply cutting her inside. She even started to hit the wall with her head, not being able to control herself. Seeing her looking like a ghost, DooSan was scared to death and intended to call the ambulance, but SolHi grabbed his arm and, through moaning, whispered to him, „Don’t do that! There is only colic. I’ll be fine soon.”

„You’ll be fine? Colic? SolHi, do you know how you look right now?”

„Mmm, I know this because I look like this… each time… I have them. I just need to take my pill. I’m here for this, but… I couldn’t get it… and…”

Understanding that he wouldn’t get anything fighting with SolHi at that moment, DooSan said nothing else. He only grabbed the medicine bottle from the floor, put a pill in his hand, and gave it to SolHi to drink it. After that, he took her in his arms and took her to the bed, laying her on it.

Lying in bed, SolHi felt worse than ever. Yet, she couldn’t do anything else than bear with it because DooSan was there and would have been impulsive on her part if she had done something else at that moment. She would have given him more evidence against her for sure, something she couldn’t allow. To make it easier for her to bear up with the pain, SolHi turned her back to him and, for him not to hear her moaning, she bit the blanket, desperately asking the man, in her head only, to leave her alone because she felt worse while he was with her. And, for the first time, SolHi started to regret that she allowed him to live with her.

She wanted him to leave, but she didn’t have the power to ask him to do that. Not at that moment. Yes, she couldn’t because she didn’t have a reason to make him leave that place. She had to accept him with her, right next to her because DooSan sat on the bed, worriedly looking at her, something that was saying to her that he was doing this on purpose to prolong her pain.

While thinking about all this, SolHi realized that „It was the first time I have had a crisis since he came here. Why?” She was right in thinking so because, before DooSan came there, she could have crises every day. Nevertheless, in the last two weeks, she slept well and didn’t have nightmares. She wouldn’t have probably had them anymore if Dja Iun hadn’t told her about those girls and the hell they were living in.

Eventually, feeling DooSan standing up and moving away from the bed, SolHi calmed down a little. The pain, although wasn’t so intense, was still there, and this was a bad sign because, generally, when she was taking the pill, the pain was gone in a few moments and she could sleep. However, this didn’t happen that night and this concerned her, making her think that it would last forever.

Soon after this, SolHi felt something warm touching her stomach. This made her pleasantly moan, feeling the pain slowly going away. After that, she crouched, holding the thermoform closer to her stomach when DooSan covered her with the blanket up to her neck. Then, seeing SolHi relaxing because of the thermoform, DooSan sat by her and started to tap slowly on her left arm, something that calmed SolHi down and pleasant drowsiness sneaked into her bones eventually. „Is it better?” She heard DooSan’s voice in the end.

„Yes, it’s better,” she murmured, almost asleep. After that, feeling her eyelids so heavy, SolHi closed her eyes and allowed that pleasant drowsiness to take her into its arms. Even so, from time to time, DooSan still heard her moaning. This didn’t preoccupy him this time because he knew that it was her body’s way of relaxing after a sharp pain.

In the end, after he made sure SolHi was definitely asleep, the man stood up and entered the bathroom. He felt a strange sensation in his chest because the bathroom looked like a battlefield when the storm passed. Even the towel, which SolHi bit not to be heard moaning, made him attentive. And, lifting it from the floor and frowning, DooSan wondered, „What the hell happened here, SolHi? More than that, since when does someone get rid of colic with painkillers?” He was right in asking such questions because it was clearly written on the medicine bottle - „Painkillers.”

Nobody gave him an answer to his questions because there were too many questions to answer in a single night. Even so, DooSan was sure that sooner or later he would find out the truth he was insistently looking for. That’s why, he only threw the towel into the laundry basket, took the pills from the floor, and threw them into the toilet eventually, taking the medicine bottle with him.

Before going to sleep, DooSan stopped by the bed and looked at SolHi for a long time. A single thought was spinning in his mind at that moment, „What are you hiding from me, SolHi? I’m sure that’s something bad if you tried to hide your pain from me tonight. Yet, what exactly is hidden behind all this? What? Questions that will remain without an answer from you, I’m sure of this. That’s why, I’ll find out all your secrets on my own no matter what because I have come here because of this.” Whispering these words, DooSan frowned again. After that, turning his back to her, he lay on the couch again.

That night, DooSan couldn’t fall asleep again. A lot of questions were spinning in his head, tormenting him. Many of those questions were about what happened that night and about his decisions, one of them being that he came to her apartment spurred by jealousy. Eventually, he found out secrets, something that made him believe that she was hiding something as GhiYon suggested. She was hiding that truth he was desperately trying to find out, he was sure of that after that night. Yet, even if he knew all this, DooSan was also aware that he had to wait for her to trust him and only after that to make her tell him the truth, he wanted to hear from her.

***

Ready to go to work, DooSan approached the bed and looked at SolHi, who seemed asleep while staying with her back to him. Seeing that she didn’t react when he approached her, DooSan slowly bent over her and, touching her arm, told her in a low voice, „It’s time to go to work, SolHi. Or… will you take the day off?”

„No, I’ll come, but a little bit later. I hope that’s not a problem,” she told him without looking at him.

„Okay, no problem,” DooSan responded, frowning because she seemed so pale in his eyes and this concerned him. „Although I think that’s better to see the doctor first. If you need to come with you…”

„It’s not necessary. To see the doctor, I mean. I only need to sleep a little longer.”

DooSan sighed. „Be as you wish,” he whispered in the end. „In case you change your mind, you know where to find me, right?”

„Mmm.”

DooSan found her elusive answer weird. Even so, he said nothing about this but left the apartment. Something was bothering him inside because of her behavior. That’s why, before going to work, he took the medicine bottle with him.

Hearing the door closing behind him, SolHi finally turned and looked at it. Then, she looked at the apartment, finding it too quiet and unusual. Yes, that apartment was different because, ever since she moved there, she’d always been alone with her pain. However, someone pitied her that night and took care of her all night long because she felt DooSan often checking her pulse or touching her forehead to see if she had a fever. When she remembered this, SolHi’s eyes filled with tears because, since she left Mina’s house, who took care of her when she was in pain, SolHi thought that she would face her inner demons alone for an entire life while swallowing pills. Yet, life showed her that it was better when someone was around.

SolHi always knew that it was better when someone was around when she was suffering. Even so, she was lying to herself and Mina, telling her that she was fine thanks to the pills, although they didn’t help her in the majority of the cases. What the pills did was to comfort her for a short while, and that was all. Even so, SolHi was afraid to tell Mina about this. She feared that Mina would send her to the hospital, closing her there, and it wasn’t just a groundless threat because, last time Mina gave her the pills, she told SolHi that if the crises continued, she would send her to a specialized hospital because such pains could be treated only there.

That threat made SolHi hide more things from Mina because she was afraid of hospitals as hell. For her, to be closed somewhere even for a short time, meant to relive the past. Yes, when she was closed somewhere, SolHi relived the nightmare she lived in the prison because, shortly after the doctors allowed her to leave the hospital, two months before the trial, she’d been arrested and forced to spend the time before the trial in jail.

Going to jail was her choice too because she knew what was waiting for her if she had left the hospital. Even so, SolHi insisted on being discharged, and this happened because she felt guilty in front of the man who died because of her, and she wanted to pay at least somehow for his death. Yet, in that cold cell, the real nightmare started - the convulsions, the attacks, and the threats, something she understood she wasn’t capable of facing alone.

Even if she knew all this, SolHi told nobody about her suffering. She told herself that the Hans’hatred would decrease in time and she’d be released. However, she had been wrong in thinking so because Marie and DooSan insisted on her being judged in an open trial, even if they sentenced her a long time before that trial, punishing her for everything that happened to Han YuSan. Thus, through everything they did to her, they turned the time she spent in jail into a real nightmare. That’s why SolHi started to feel that being closed was the equivalent of hell even after she’d been released.

After she had been released, her nightmare continued. A different nightmare this time, which had the form of questions like, „What if I’m not guilty? What will happen to me then?” These questions hadn’t ever been answered by anyone, even by herself because she was stubborn to keep that question mark at the end of the sentence each time she was thinking about what happened. Because of this, because she was tormenting herself so much, and then because of the stress that she had at work, SolHi’s anxiety crises turned worse than ever, crises that were also somehow fed by SinHa’s disease. Thus, having no time for her, SolHi started to get used to the pain, saying to herself when she was thinking about this, „I’ll have time for me later,” although she never knew when that „later” would come. That routine turned her into a lonely person, in the end, one surrounded by the ghosts of the past, by pain, and suffering.

Things changed eventually when DooSan moved to her house. Thus, with him always hovering around her, SolHi didn’t have time to think about those questions anymore, and she even stopped having her anxiety crises, something she hadn’t been aware of until that night. Even so, SolHi told herself once she was alone in the apartment, „I must make him go. He has to leave this place forever.” After that, finding the power to stand up, she got out of bed and headed to the bathroom, intending to take a hot shower.

In the bathroom doorway, SolHi felt that she lacked power again. She felt that not because of what happened a night ago, but because of the thought that suddenly started to spin in her head, „Why should I force him to go?” Asking herself this question, SolHi felt fear sneaking inside her again: the fear of solitude because between the fear that DooSan could find out her biggest secret and the fear of being alone again, the biggest fear was the last one. Understanding this, SolHi shuddered. After that, with her eyes bathed with tears and touching her chest with her palm, SolHi looked at the bathroom and saw that it was clean. She understood that DooSan took care not to leave any trace of her nightmare behind, something that could have reminded her about her pain. That’s why she allowed the tears to bathe her cheeks again, feeling that she also needed someone to take care of her.

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Eventually, feeling that she wasn’t able to move from that place before the river of tears from her soul would dry, SolHi sat on the threshold and stuck her back to the door. After that, she looked at the front door that was closed at that moment. And, for an unknown reason, SolHi compared that door with the cell door, one that she always waited to be opened and for her to be left free.

Thinking about this, SolHi started sobbing. She held her knees to her chest and her forehead was stuck to her knees. While staying like this, she started to murmur, „I don’t want him to go! He mustn’t go, SolHi! He mustn’t leave you alone again!”

***

„Whaaat? Is she taking painkillers for colic?” GhiYon shouted. To avoid going deaf, DooSan moved the phone further from his ear. Even so, he still heard well what his friend shouted.

Eventually, when GhiYon kept silent, DooSan jokingly said, „Are you calm now?”

„As I’ve never been,” Park GhiYon replied in an innocent voice, making DooSan burst into laughter. „Stop laughing and tell me what you found out.”

„Nothing more than you already know. I also sent you a few photos of the medicine bottle. I need you to find out everything you can about them. I’m especially interested to know what they are used for because… I found already on the Internet that they can be bought only with a medical prescription.”

„Something that doesn’t surprise me,” GhiYon growled. „I’m sure that her friend, the psychologist, prescribed her this medicine. Pack Mina or what her name was.”

„I’m also sure of this. And… I also think that I’ve done well by entering her house.”

„You see?! And you said that I was going crazy when I suggested you live with her. If you had listened to my advice right from the beginning, we would have solved this case a long time ago. Now…”

„Yeah, yeah, mother, as you say,” DooSan teased his friend. „Now, the next question on the list: can you do me another favor?”

„With the furniture?” GhiYon asked, frowning. „You said Ian SolHi was home. Cannot she do that for you?”

„Yeah, she won’t do that. And… although she was home when I left, I don’t know for how long. She’s damn stubborn and I’m sure she is already on her feet. And… I don’t know why I also have the feeling that she’ll visit her friend, the doctor, soon.”

„Because they cannot live without each other?!” GhiYon mumbled, grinning. Then, when he heard DooSan telling him something „nice,” GhiYon hung up the phone without saying Goodbye to his friend. Even so, he didn’t seem bothered because he did that to DooSan. Why? He was too busy to smile because DooSan’s request to help him with the furniture gave him the perfect chance to check what SolHi was hiding in her apartment.

***

„Other pills? Ia, Ian SolHi, I gave you that medicine bottle a week ago. Don’t tell me that you finished them already!” Mina said in a serious voice while she and SolHi were having a walk in the hospital’s park. „More than that, what about your arm?! Didn’t you have enough with all the problems you had that you injured your arm too?”

„I didn’t look for it, okay?! More than that: it’s only a sprain, don’t exaggerate. And, related to the pills: let’s say that Han DooSan took care of them. That’s why I ask you to prescribe me another dose.”

„And with… he took care of them… do you mean?”

„What do I know?! He threw them… sent them to his friend - the lover of dolls…” or to someone else to check what they were for?!”

„You say that as though you are at the supermarket, buying ice cream, SolHi. Are you serious now? If Han DooSan finds out what those pills are for…”

„…he’ll dig a huge hole into the… sea,” SolHi replied, laughing. „What will he do if he finds out that I’m taking pills for paranoia? Will he send me to a psychiatric hospital? He can try this if he wants, but I’m sure it’ll be in vain! More than that, I’m sure he won’t do anything like this. Why? Because he wants me dead or in prison, not locked in a psychiatric hospital.”

Mina kept silent for a short while. Then, sighing, she said, „I don’t know, SolHi. All this seems too confusing to me. Even the fact that you live together when you hate each other to death seems weird to me. Why do I find it weird? Because I can’t understand how a healthy man and a healthy woman can live together and nothing happens between them.”

SolHi squinted at Mina. „He’s not a bull to see red in front each time he sees me.”

„Something that can change if wearing sexy underwear…”

„Ia!”

„What? If you do that, you will at least make sure he’ll keep silent about those pills because…” She kept silent eventually when SolHi received a text message. Then, seeing SolHi focused on reading the message, Mina approached her more and, peeping over her shoulder, she managed to read, „I don’t know if you are at home today or not, that’s why I asked GhiYon to help me with the furniture. Sorry, but I don’t want to sleep on the couch anymore. It kills me.” After reading the message, Mina hissed through her teeth, „Interesting! He doesn’t want to sleep on the couch anymore. Yet, the question I still have is… where would he like to sleep then? In your bed?” SolHi stared at her. „What? I was just saying! Just as I’m saying that’s a damn good idea to try my idea with sexy underwear. Who knows: maybe you have the chance to try the new bed today and see if it’s something durable?!”

„Aga: in his dreams! And… in yours, of course! Now… I go because I have more important things to do than listening to you speaking nonsense things about me and the… vampire!”

„What you forget is what I told you about the vampires and their women.”

„What you shouldn’t forget is the prescription, Mina,” SolHi hissed through her teeth. „I need it more than your advice about the vampires.” After that, pissed off, SolHi left.

Mina looked behind her for a while. Then, she grinned when she said, „You have the right to be stubborn, Ian SolHi! Yet, sooner or later, I’m sure you’ll try the bed with Han DooSan. Then… you’ll agree with me!” After that, still grinning, Mina took the phone out of her pocket and, entering a web page, she looked for sexy underwear, stopping at a red one with black stripes on it. „A real explosive thing this one,” she said, smiling.

***

Entering the Prosecution Building, two hours after she saw Mina, SolHi was still nervous. Because of this, she kept mumbling something incomprehensible. At the same time, she was furious with Mina because her friend kept sending her messages with different types of sexy underwear, asking her which one to buy for SolHi or asking her when she and DooSan would try that bed. Yet, the moment she saw GhiYon approaching DooSan, who was waiting for the elevator, SolHi forgot about her anger and focused on them.

„Isn’t that one Park GhiYon?” She wondered, frowning. „Yes, he is! Something strange because… he is here when he has to do a favor to his friend and receive the furniture. Or what, did they think that I was home and I did this favor to them? Yeah, right! If you thought that, then… I’d surprise you for sure.” After that, in the mood to fight, SolHi headed toward the elevator.

Once next to one of the pylons that weren’t that far from the elevator, SolHi hid the moment she heard GhiYon telling DooSan, „We have to talk! Urgently!”

„Urgently? About what?” DooSan asked, extremely surprised to see his friend there. Then, seeing the bottle of painkillers that GhiYon took out of his pocket, DooSan kept silent and frowned. „The same pills that SolHi takes. Where… Do you have them?”

„Let’s go to a safe place and I’ll tell you everything. Here… even the walls can hear things.” After that, looking around, GhiYon forced SolHi to hide again when she stared at that bottle of medicine since he had taken it out of his pocket.

SolHi stood hidden until she saw them entering the elevator and the doors closed behind them. Then, she got out of her hideout and, staring at the elevator doors, she hissed through her teeth, „Now I understand your trick with the „furniture,” Han DooSan. You did that to have a chance to check my things. Well, you looked for this for sure because… starting today, you won’t have a good life in my house.” Saying this, SolHi headed toward the stairwell, determined to get to the place where DooSan and GhiYon were because she knew where they headed after leaving the lobby - undoubtedly to the roof.

***

„What did you say? Is SolHi having phantom pains?” DooSan asked his friend, perplexed.

„That’s right! I asked a good friend, a famous psychologist, what this medicine is used for and he told me that it’s used for treating paranoia and phantom pains. In other words: SolHi sees things, and this makes her think she is in pain when everything is just memories.”

GhiYon’s explanation didn’t help DooSan too much to understand what his friend tried to say to him. That’s why, frowning, he kept staring into GhiYon’s eyes, thinking about what he said. Then, shaking his head, DooSan said, „Wait a minute: what the hell are you talking about? Is it possible for someone to suffer as she suffered yesterday and be only memories? I don’t think so! For God’s sake: she looked like a ghost. She was pale, gnashed her teeth, convulsing, and… I won’t mention the fact that she bit a towel so as not to be heard moaning. I don’t think that’s only a phantom pain for what happened seven years ago. Or yes?”

„It can be, DooSan. Let’s not forget that in Court SolHi mentioned that she suffered from amnesia, a theory her friend put forward, but which wasn’t backed up by other doctors.”

„A theory that nobody believed then. Not even you. And this… damn, I think we rushed to judge her then and none of us thought about checking everything, up to the end.”

„Do you think something would have changed if we had done this? No, DooSan. Why? Because even if SolHi had told you about her phantom pains, it wouldn’t have helped you in anything in Court. On the contrary, you would have just given her another chance to be left free. More than that, SolHi and Pack Mina hid that. If they hid her phantom pains, this must be for something.”

„What the hell are you talking about at this time?”

„I’m talking about Ian SolHi, who is lying when she says that she suffers from amnesia. This is what I’m talking about because… after what I’ve found out today, I’m sure that she not only remembers that night, but she also suffers because of this because… she’s experiencing YuSan’s pain, in fact.”

DooSan looked thunderstruck at his friend. „She’s experiencing YuSan’s pain? What the hell are you trying to say with this?”

„That she’s living everything YuSan lived before his death: his pain and feelings.”

„This is insane, GhiYon. It’s unbelievable. Do you at least listen to what you are saying? A few moments ago, you supported the theory of amnesia. Now you say that the phantom pains are those YuSan felt before his death. Something illogical.”

„Maybe! Yet, even if you think that my theory is absurd, I still think that’s real. Why? Because she is hiding something. Something like this.” Saying this, GhiYon gave DooSan a file with a document he found while checking SolHi’s things.

„The proof of ownership of a… tree?”

„That’s right! So, if you carefully look at the date written on the document, you’ll see that she got it 7 years ago. This means that Ian SolHi hasn’t killed only YuSan that day, but also someone else because…”

GhiYon kept silent eventually and turned toward SolHi, the same as DooSan did, the moment she grabbed the file from DooSan’s hand. Then, she stared straight into DooSan’s eyes, like a crazy pitbull, letting him know that if he had said something else, even whispering her name, she would have been able to break him into pieces. After that, taking the arm sling off, she threw it on the floor, hissing through her teeth while still staring into his eyes, „I don’t want to hear anything from you, Han DooSan, or I swear that I’m capable of throwing you both off this roof. What? Was it so important to you to check my things to discover secrets? Did you fall so down, DooSan?” Then, she looked at GhiYon. „You too, Doctor Park. I didn’t know that you were not only that kind of person who loves playing with the dolls, but also checks the things that belong to others.”

„Nobody would have done this if you hadn’t hidden things.” Words that drove SolHi crazy. She, not letting GhiYon finish his thought, suddenly slapped him.

„Hide?” SolHi murmured, looking with hatred at the forensic doctor. „What do you know about me to talk to me like that? Who the hell do you think you are to ask me to explain things to you? You are nobody, Doctor Park GhiYon. Why? Because, even if I killed someone that day, he wasn’t someone close to you.”

„Of course, he was! Han YuSan was my friend!”

„A friend, not your brother or lover! So, if someone has to ask me to explain things, it is him and not you. Did you hear me, you… lover of dolls?” Saying this, SolHi threatened him with the fist.

The moment DooSan tried to take her away from GhiYon, he did that because he knew that SolHi was able to throw GhiYon off the roof if that one told her something else, SolHi pushed DooSan away from her. After that, hearing DooSan saying to her, „He didn’t kill anybody, SolHi! That’s why, you should stop threatening him and explain to him what happened,” SolHi furiously looked at him.

„I have nothing to explain to him, DooSan. And it’s a crime to check my things without my permission. And… what? Did you play the good guy yesterday, making me feel good and trust you just to be able to stab my back today?”

„Nobody stabbed your back, SolHi! I just try to find answers to all the questions I have because… what happened yesterday…”

„It’s nothing you should care about. Why? Because… even if I’m crazy, I suffer from paranoia, or… live someone else’s „death,” it’s only my problem and not yours. That’s why, Han DooSan: get lost once and forever because I don’t want to see you again: neither close to me nor in my apartment. And you, Park GhiYon, if you are so sure of your theory, find evidence and sue me. Yet, I assure you that you’ll lose the trial and the sentenced one will be you for infamy.” After that, taking only the file with her, SolHi left the roof.

Seeing her leaving, DooSan tried to grab her arm when he said, „SolHi, listen to me: this is not what you think!” He even tried to catch up with her, but he couldn’t do that because of GhiYon, who grabbed his arm and stopped him. Then, GhiYon told him:

„Let her go, DooSan! Eventually, she has the right to be upset because I checked her things, just as we have the right to find evidence. And, if we prove that I’m right, then, in Court…”

„Just try it!” DooSan yelled at his friend, looking with hatred at him. „Do that, GhiYon, and I swear I will break you into pieces. Why? Because… if someone has to do that, I’ll do it. Yet, I won’t do that because I don’t believe your theory, which is stupid, just as no judge will believe it. More than that, I don’t look for justice only to bring someone to his knees in front of me. Not if that person doesn’t deserve this.”

„Then… won’t you do anything to avenge YuSan?”

„I always did that. I still work to solve this case and I’ll do it, with real and solid evidence, and not supporting such stupid things like phantom pain and that she lives the same thing as YuSan before his death.”

„This isn’t a stupid theory, DooSan. This is the truth. And… I can’t believe I’m the only one who still fights to make justice for his friend.”

„Yes, GhiYon: to a friend only, because… YuSan was this for you - just a friend. Yet, besides being your friend, YuSan was my brother, and I assure you that I’m more interested than you in giving justice to him. I’ll make the one who killed him squirm in hell when I find out who he is, no matter who he is, but I’ll do it only when I’m sure that his criminal is guilty of this. That’s why, just stay away from this and wait for results because you’ll see them… sooner or later. And… while waiting, don’t even try to talk to my mother about this or I swear I won’t be responsible for my deeds, GhiYon. Why? Because she suffered more than you suffered. That’s why she doesn’t deserve to cry more than she has done this already. I won’t allow this because I’m the only one who saw her squirming on the floor while mourning for her beloved son’s death. The same as I did after YuSan’s death.”

„Yeah, you suffered, just as I see how much you „suffer” for her. Or… am I wrong in thinking so?”

„No, you aren’t! I suffer for her indeed, because… you didn’t see her last night, GhiYon. You didn’t see how much she suffers and I assure you that her suffering has nothing to do with your theory of „having the memories of others.” It was her pain. That’s why, GhiYon, stay away from all this because I don’t want justice if this implies her death. At least I don’t want her death before I find out what happened that night.” Saying this, DooSan lifted the arm sling and headed toward the roof door, without looking back to see what GhiYon would do.

He stopped after a few steps when he heard GhiYon saying, „What if I’m right? What if Ian SolHi killed YuSan and she’s just playing with you to avoid being sent to jail?”

„I’ll throw her off this roof if I prove this,” DooSan confidently said. „Yet, I’m sure this won’t ever happen because… nobody can pretend to have such pain as she has. It’s simply impossible to claim something like this, GhiYon.” Saying this, DooSan left the roof, determined to catch up with SolHi and make her listen to him because, for an unknown reason, he didn’t want to lose her. He simply couldn’t lose her.

Staring behind DooSan, GhiYon squeezed his fists. Then, gnashing his teeth, he said, „What you feel for her blinds you, DooSan! Because of this, you won’t ever find out the truth! You, damn idiot! I can’t believe you have chosen such a woman to fall in love with instead of making justice to YuSan.” After that, deeply breathing in, he approached the edge of the roof.

Looking down, he saw the parking lot. He saw nobody there, something that made him consider that view so gray. Then, he looked at the sun that was barely seen through the clouds. Not even this helped him to calm down because… as GhiYon considered, there was so much injustice in that world!

***

Putting a big bouquet of white chrysanthemums next to the trunk of a tree, SolHi squatted in front of that small plaque with the inscription, „An Angel is resting here!” After that, deeply breathing in, she tried to avoid crying. Yet, she lost that fight with her own tears eventually and murmured, „Un, mammy is here! Mammy came again, after such a long time! Yet, it’s been a while since I had passed by here, and… I’m really sorry, Un! I’m sorry that I can’t pass by here more often because… I still feel guilty for not being able to avenge you.”

She winced eventually the moment she heard DooSan’s voice behind her. „Mammy?” This made her suddenly turn and look at him, thunderstruck because she couldn’t understand how he could find her there. Looking at DooSan, she saw him staring at that commemorative plaque that was fixed on the trunk. Then, she frowned, hearing him saying, „SolHi, are you someone’s mother? Whose mother are you? Whose…”

„It’s none of your business!” She said. Then, she tried to pass by him.

She couldn’t advance too much because of DooSan, who suddenly grabbed her by the arm and forced her to stop. Then, he insistently looked at her while SolHi did everything to avoid seeing his eyes. This didn’t disarm DooSan or make him release her arm. On the contrary, he kept staring at her, trying to understand at least something of what was going on there. Then, suddenly, like a flash, he remembered that he had seen her on the street five years ago. He also remembered that he saw the same plaque that day, and he remembered this because of the inscription „An Angel is resting here.” Yet, although he read these words five years ago, he said nothing to her that day and just let her pass by him. Actually, because of the same inscription, DooSan didn’t insult her that day as he did each time they saw each other somewhere. He did that because he felt that she lost someone she cared about. Yet, even if DooSan thought about this and read those words, he didn’t think that it was written for a child who died, something he was sure about at that moment after seeing SolHi in front of that plaque. That’s why he insisted on finding out the truth from SolHi, and asked her again, „Whose child is he, SolHi? Whose child is he?” Questions that made SolHi struggle with him to release her arm and move forward. This drove DooSan crazy and, squeezing her wrist more, he shouted, „Whose child is Un, SolHi? Answer this question, for God’s sake!”

„This is a question I don’t have to answer, DooSan! At least you don’t have the right to know this!” SolHi hissed through her teeth. „And… what right do you have to ask me to answer them?”

„Living with you gives me this right, SolHi! And…” understanding that he was about to tell her what he felt for her, DooSan kept silent.

„No, you don’t have this right,” she said, not aware of what DooSan tried to tell her. „And, as you don’t have this right, I demand you to let me go!” She yelled eventually. Then, using more force than before to release her hand, SolHi felt the pain piercing her shoulder, something that made her moan. DooSan didn’t notice this but looked as though he lost his mind and this forced him to keep her there.

To be sure SolHi wouldn’t leave eventually, DooSan even pushed her in front of him. Then, outraged, he shouted, „What I ask you is to tell me the truth, SolHi! Why? Because it’s unfair that you had a child when my brother was dead because of you.” Words that made SolHi look at him, thunderstruck. She, looking at him, understood that DooSan completely lost his mind at that moment, seeing and hearing nothing more than his pain, something that made him want to hurt her through words. Then she shuddered when DooSan said, „You looked for happiness when my brother was dead. Yet, life showed you that you can’t be happy when others are miserable. Because of your selfishness, the Sky punished you with taking your child… the cruelest of all the punishments, something you deserved because…” A slap over his face brought DooSan back to reality.

Only then DooSan saw tears in SolHi’s eyes and shuddered because he also saw the suffering in them. She was torn inside when she told him eventually, „Did the Sky punish me? Yes, maybe you are right and I’ve been punished this way because I have trusted people. That’s why… you can be happy now when you know this big secret, DooSan! You’ve been right in saying that Heaven took the most priceless thing I had in my life… my child! They took my child from me to make me pay for trusting you! Yes, I lost in front of you that day! I lost in front of the entire world! I’m a miserable that doesn’t deserve to live. That’s why, Han DooSan: you can be happy now because you have been fully revenged.”

„But… why? Why, SolHi? When or how did your child die?” DooSan insisted on finding out the truth. While asking this, he was struggling with the tears that were pressing over his chest. He did that even though he also felt that he was about to collapse, the same as SolHi felt at that moment.

„Why?” SolHi calmly asked this time. „To feel yourself fully revenged and fulfilled?”

Her question drove him crazy again and shouted, „Ian SolHi, stop talking nonsense and answer my question! Your child… Why did he die? When? How?”

„How? Paying for my sins… the same night Han YuSan died.” Answer that made DooSan shudder. Then, he closed his eyes, feeling dizzy. DooSan even took a step back to keep his balance because her words were making him feel powerless. SolHi, feeling no mercy for him at that moment, continued her story, „He died that night because of the blows I received in my stomach. He kicked me… over and over again until this child was gone. Yes, DooSan… this child never saw the light of the day. I was one and a half months pregnant when he died. And… yes… you can be truly happy because even if I killed Han YuSan that night, I paid for my sin. I paid with my child’s life, the worst of the punishments. I paid with his life for taking someone else’s life. That’s why I hope you are happy now knowing what I’ve lost that night. I hope you’ll consider this punishment enough and you’ll get lost from my life… once and for all because… you have no right to ask me to explain things to you… you have no right to ask questions. It’s my problem. It’s my life and…”

Suddenly touching her head with his palms, DooSan forced her to look into his eyes. After that, through tears, he said, „As long as we live together, this isn’t your problem only. This is our problem already because… YuSan also died that night. We…”

SolHi pushed him away from her, yelling like driven crazy, „I didn’t choose any of this - neither to live with you nor anybody’s death. You are who broke into my life. You are who broke into my house too, looking for truths I don’t remember. That’s why I tell you to leave because you won’t find out more things if you are with me. And, if you keep hovering around me in the hope that you’ll lock me into the cage again, then… tell me this right now, Han DooSan because I’m ready to end this here and now. I’m ready to end my life and with your suffering too. Yes, if I have to do that, I’ll die just to be left alone and get rid of you because… I better die than return to that hell… in the hell where you all pushed me seven years ago and are still stubborn to hold me now.”

Her words marked DooSan a lot. Especially, the „I better die than turn to hell. I… better end everything, even my life.” That’s why, the moment SolHi intended to go, he stepped in front of her again and looked into her eyes, trying to understand why she thought that everything that happened to her was their fault.

SolHi didn’t see him. She only wanted to leave and be left alone. Yet, seeing that she couldn’t pass by him, she closed her eyes and murmured in a low voice, „What else, DooSan? What else do you want from me? What else do you want to take at this time from me or what is it supposed that I took this time from you? I paid for everything then, I paid with my child’s life. Isn’t it enough for you? I only want to be left alone, to live my pain as I can because… you don’t know what it means to lose a child. Yet, I do know. I know what it feels to lose a baby, that’s why… don’t expect mercy from me… the one who hasn’t ever had it from others.”

Held to the man’s chest, SolHi simply collapsed into his arms. She felt powerless and killed inside while sobbing with her face at his chest. DooSan felt the same as she felt. He also felt destroyed inside although they were in front of her child’s grave and not in front of his child’s grave. Even so, knowing that her child paid for the sins of others, DooSan felt guilty in front of Un, just as he felt sorrow for all of them because all of them paid for something that night although none of them was aware of this.

Such words kept spinning in DooSan’s head for a long time although he wasn’t aware of them. He only felt that his mind was a big white blank sheet of paper and nothing more. At the same time, his eyes were talking about that big pain, those eyes that were focused on the commemorative plaque with the words „An Angel is resting here” on it.