„To be damned if I understand something of all this,” DooSan scolded himself, bowing his head a little to allow the hot water jet to flow on his entire body and then right into the tub. A hot water jet that was meant to calm him down, but which irritated him more, even if he didn’t understand why because he had been in the showers for more than half an hour already without being able to control himself. „As though, the fact that she went today, without looking back at departure, was a breakup and not a simple „goodbye” among colleagues.”

DooSan sighed. He did that with all his heart, feeling a big rock pressing over his chest. A pressure that he felt only a few times in his life, but which always left him breathless.

That inner pressure made DooSan nervously move under the hot water jet. „What the hell happens to me?” DooSan suddenly wondered, gnashing his teeth right after this. „I feel so deserted inside, so weird; as though I lost someone I cared about…her. No, it can’t be because of SolHi. It’ll be damn weird if it’s so. That’s why, Han DooSan, if you feel all this because of her, you have lost your mind! For God’s sake: she’s the one you have to hate, forever, not to miss!”

And yes… DooSan hated SolHi for a long time. He wanted her his victim, the one whom he could trample at his will just to make sure he’d feel avenged. An act of revenge he fully enjoyed when he said those words at the table, but still one that hurt him a lot too because… he felt so miserable after this when he saw SolHi leaving while she hadn’t looked back even for a second.

„Those had been only words eventually,” the man suddenly murmured, then sighed. „They’d been words that hurt us both because we told them to comfort our ego. Yet, it seems that she felt them deep inside, as though the one who hurt her was…”

No, it was too much even for DooSan to think about this. „The man whom she loved?” How the hell could he think about this? Even though he felt something strange inside, especially lately, each time he was around SolHi to be more precise, to think such stupid things related to her, it seemed a stupid thing to him. „Yeah, it’s really stupid to think that I’m a kind of lover for her. A foolishness I have never thought about before. And, Han DooSan, I don’t understand you lately. What happens to you, man? Did you get to have sick fantasies with the one you wanted dead so many times before?”

Yet, there weren’t simple fantasies. At least not that kind of sick fantasy. What DooSan felt was something pleasantly, something that moved him inside, not in a painful way. When he thought about SolHi, he often felt well. He felt even reinvigorated sometimes and was often catching himself smiling, even if he couldn’t remember the reason for that smile after this. Even so, he found it pleasant to act weird from time to time, „Like a teenager that fell in love with a girl for the first time, but who is too shy to approach her and tell her that he likes her a lot. And… damn!” He suddenly shouted, kicking the tub.

That hit hurt like hell, making DooSan gnash his teeth when he felt a burning pain in his pinky. Even his eyes bathed with tears after this because DooSan hadn’t felt such pain for a very long time. Because of this, he started to jump, in a single leg, under the hot water jet, sending everybody and everything to hell, cursing, and mumbling everything that came into his mind at that moment, and all this while touching the hurt toe, which had no blame for his foolishness eventually.

In the end, when the pain was gone, DooSan deeply breathed in, painfully sighing after this when he decided to allow the air he kept inside his lungs to exit his body. Yet, this didn’t make him feel better. On the contrary: DooSan felt dizzy. Then he felt that something pressed his chest again. Because of this, he squatted in the tub, with the hot water jet bathing his naked skin, something that made him look like a wet puppy, beaten and abandoned by everybody, who had never been loved. And yes, Han DooSan wanted so badly to cry at that moment because… „You screw things up this time, DooSan,” he scolded himself. „You hurt her just not to allow her to win in front of you, and now you suffer worse than a dog. You are pathetic, dude. A frick, an insufferable, who allowed himself the luxury to hurt the one you wanted next to you. That kind of magic bird that flew from the nest not to turn back ever to you. What’s left now is to keep complaining and, if it’s unbearable for you, then… go and throw yourself into the river to be forgotten by everybody because this is what you deserve for how you acted today. Idiot!”

Han DooSan was scolding himself too harshly at that moment. He also knew that, but he couldn’t stop doing this. It was too difficult for him and too insufferable the thought that he made SolHi suffer, even if he couldn’t explain to himself why he felt all this because „I don’t understand why she felt hurt when she hurt me first. What? Did she dislike our kiss? Has it been an ordinary one, which she won’t ever remember? Hell no! I’m sure she’s lying because… it felt so well then… for both of us.”

No, it wasn’t. He also remembered this. It’s better to say that he remembered the moment he tried to asphyxiate her, pressing over her throat. Then, in a fit of anger, he left her alone, in a forgotten-by-the-world place, with a lot of criminals around her - the lavender, which almost killed her that night.

Yes, he saved her after this, and SolHi should have been grateful to him for an entire life, but… did he deserve her gratitude after he made her suffer so much? No, DooSan was also aware of this because „Nobody loves his butcher and nobody respects him. A person only fears that butcher and attacks him each time he can, just as SolHi is doing.”

Such thoughts overwhelmed DooSan eventually, making him feel completely isolated from the rest of the world. It didn’t last long because, soon after this, a loud knock on the door, a punch better to call that sound, made poor DooSan jump to his feet. He said nothing after this. He wasn’t even breathing, waiting for the next move because he was sure that the one who punched the door wouldn’t give up so soon. Yet, minutes after this, nothing happened. This made him think that probably someone hit the wrong door. And, thinking that he had a fright in vain that night, he breathed a sigh of relief, finally determined to leave the tub.

The moment he stepped outside of the tub, turning off the shower, a second powerful punch in the door was heard. This made DooSan wince, his foot, which stepped on the wet floor, slipped, and he stretched his both arms in front, intending to grab the sink to avoid falling. Yeah, right! Having wet hands too, right after he grabbed the sink, which was also wet, the second foot, which DooSan was about to take out of the tub, also slipped, the first one bent because of the wet floor, and poor DooSan awoke eventually on the floor, with a painful bump on his forehead after he hit the sink while falling. Even so, he’d been lucky that night that only a bump appeared on his forehead, and had no broken leg or arm because, in case this had happened, he hadn’t how to explain what the hell happened to him that he’d been about to kill himself.

„As though having such a beautiful bump is something to praise for a thirty year-old-man,” DooSan mumbled while forcing himself to stand up. Something damn difficult to manage because of the wet floor. Even so, he made it eventually. Then, barely keeping his balance, but still gnashing his teeth, he put the bathrobe on himself because the knocks on the door were heard louder and louder.

Eventually, ready for a fight, DooSan left the bathroom, slamming the door behind him while a long „You are dead for sure” was hissed through his teeth. He didn’t say that to himself, but to the one behind the door, who was insistently hitting the door with his fists as though there was a fire somewhere and DooSan had to open that door to save him. „A drunk idiot for sure,” the man thought, preparing himself for a fight as he had never had before because he was definitely in the mood to argue with someone that night.

Two steps from the door, DooSan stopped. He even swallowed hard when he recognized SolHi’s voice the moment she yelled, „Ia, Han DooSan, you, bastard: open this damn door! I know you are there! So, stop playing the deaf dumb and open it, did you hear me? Open it now or I kick it down, I swear!”

That „I will kick the door down” wasn’t a simple threat. SolHi even started to run toward the door, intending to hit it with her shoulder as she had seen in the American movies that others kicked the doors down. Yet, the moment she was about to kiss that door, it opened, and SolHi landed in DooSan’s arms.

„Too soft,” she mumbled, the moment she felt that she didn’t hit the wood with her head, but something pleasant to touch. Looking up and seeing DooSan squinting at her, SolHi smiled. „You were home! And I thought I misread the door, and that’s why you didn’t open it!” Then, when she felt DooSan’s hand touching hers, to help her keep her balance, SolHi frowned and painfully slapped the man’s arm, hissing through her teeth, „Don’t touch what’s not yours.”

„As though what you touched now was yours,” murmured DooSan because, after SolHi hit him instead of the door, she intensely touched him to make sure he wasn’t an illusion.

„I just tried to make sure that I touched you for real,” SolHi whispered, hiccupping after this. „With no mean intention!”

„Yeah, sure, just as it hasn't been with a mean intention that you punched my door, right?”

SolHi shook her head. „An emergency! Yeah, it was an emergency! I had to find you at any cost today!”

„The reason?” Asked DooSan, looking for trouble because he disliked the fact that SolHi came there, dead drunk and looking for a fight, as he could understand at first glance. More than that… DooSan couldn’t understand how the hell could she come there after the small fight they had. A real surprise, actually, but not bigger than the one that came after this. It happened so suddenly that poor DooSan pulled back when SolHi approached him and started to sniff him. „Are you a dog or something?” DooSan asked her, hissing the words through his teeth and pushing her away from him. „And… How much did you drink, SolHi?” He yelled when he felt the strong smell of alcohol from her.

„Enough,” SolHi replied idly. „That’s why, stop pretending to be the innocent child who has never drunk in his life! And… move aside!” DooSan pumped his eyes after her demand. SolHi, at all bothered by his glance and this because she didn’t see it once she bent to lift the bag with shopping she had brought with her, she pushed him from in front of her and entered his apartment.

SolHi’s „courage” confused DooSan for a few moments. Then, when he could finally control himself, he looked behind her, and saw SolHi in the middle of the living room already, hissing through his teeth in the end, „Where are you going now?” SolHi didn’t answer. This drove him crazy because he yelled after this, „I asked you where are you going, Ian SolHi! And you should better answer that question and… this one: what the hell are you doing in my apartment? For God’s sake: it’s 2 a.m. This isn’t at all the perfect time for a social visit in a young and single man’s apartment by the way. SolHi burst into laughter, taking DooSan by surprise. „What now?” He asked her, raising his voice.

„Just… it cracks me up, finding out how changeable you can be. More than that, it amazes me a lot that you act like a man now when… before that… you seemed to be a simple pu… ups, I’ve been about to let the canary fly out of my mouth.”

„It wouldn’t have been the first time, by the way.”

„Said this the one who curses all day long,” SolHi cut him off. Then, bending, she took the bag from off the floor, a bag full of beer and soju bottles. After that, holding that bag with both hands, she stared at DooSan, who squinted at her, to whom she said, „Relax, man! I’m not used to eating people. At least I won’t eat you because… you are bitter!”

Bothered by her commentaries, DooSan cooked his nose. „I’m not a man recently, huh? Well, Ian SolHi, you wanted this! Don’t complain after that!” And, furious, he kicked the door to close it behind him. Then, he took a few steps toward SolHi, whom he didn’t lose sight of because he saw her insistently looking for something in his kitchen. SolHi didn’t spend too much time in his kitchen. When she finally found what she was looking for… two glasses… she held them to her chest and returned to the bag she left in the middle of the living room, on the floor. Arriving next to the bag, SolHi sat next to him, hiccupping. „And… this cheap play, what does it mean if it’s not a secret?” DooSan asked, frowning.

„Nothing out of the ordinary,” replied SolHi, smiling, opening one of the beers while using the spoon. „I just passed by to have a drink with you. And… damn smart owl you are, Han DooSan: you are memorizing and know everything. Even the fact that I wanted to drink you anticipated. So, tell me: do you see through space or what?”

„I’m just jumping to conclusions,” said DooSan ironically.

„A smart dumb then.”

„Should I take it as a compliment?”

„No, as an insult, Han DooSan. Yet, as I doubt you’ll make the difference, just… think whatever you want. And… take a seat! I don’t bite, you know! Not if my prey listens to what I say.”

DooSan sighed after such words. „Remind me to return this favor to you when you are sober,” he said, turning his back to her. Yet, he suddenly stopped when SolHi grabbed his bathrobe. „What now?” He growled.

„I was just wondering where you were going when I said that we have to drink not leave!”

„We’ll drink, don’t worry. First… let’s take care of… possible accidents. I mean… to try to avoid them.”

SolHi hiccupped again. „Accidents? What the hell are you talking about?”

„About this bathrobe that can open if you keep hanging on it?” DooSan asked in mockery. SolHi squinted at him instead, not understanding too much of what he said. This made DooSan smile, finding her way of looking at certain things innocently. Then, squatting, right in front of her, DooSan whispered into her left ear, „I was talking about me and about the fact that I wear only this bathrobe. Why? Because, when you started to punch my door, like a desperate soul, I was in the shower.”

„What you want to say is that you are naked. No need for big philosophical words.”

„Then, in your opinion, what should I do, SolHi? To show up, shirtless, in front of you?” SolHi hiccupped again, seeing DooSan’s naked chest through the bathrobe that opened a little on the upper part. „Or… should I show more than this?”

„No need for that,” she mumbled, confused, suddenly looking elsewhere. „I saw enough.”

„When exactly?” SolHi shook her head, stubbornly, not wanting to answer that question. This made DooSan frown. „Don’t tell me: are you having sick fantasies with me?”

„Only… thoughts! And now… get lost before you remain without that bathrobe!”

Such words made DooSan smile. He felt so well seeing the innocence in SolHi’s glance. More than that, he felt something pleasant inside when he spotted her blushed cheeks, the color of fresh roses, something that hinted to him that she talked more than she should have done about her dreams and fantasies. That blush meant only one thing: she felt ashamed and awkward; she felt her heart strangely beating in her chest. At the same time, she heard a strange buzzing in her ears because of the pleasant scent that was felt at the man in front of her, a man that was naked under that bathrobe… something that made her dream about that kiss again, a kiss with a man that was forbidden to her. Even so, she was still free to dream about him… in her head.

„SolHi,” DooSan called her name eventually when he saw her looking elsewhere. „What happens to us in the end?”

„Nothing,” she replied, clumsy. „We are just… two strangers that feel strange when they are side by side… naked.”

„Naked?” DooSan asked, then burst into laughter. „None of us is naked, in case you didn’t notice this.”

„Practically - no, theoretically - yes. And, damn: I talk garbage right now!”

Saying this, SolHi emptied her glass of beer, which she filled not long ago. Yet, the cold beer didn’t manage to cool her inside. On the contrary: she felt the fire in her heart more intense than ever while her eyes kept staring at the naked chest of the man in front of her, at that small part that was seen through the half-open bathrobe… which was a kind of impassable border for SolHi at that moment.

***

Returning to the living room, wearing trousers and a white T-shirt, DooSan understood that the surprises for that night weren’t over. What made him think so? Well, at SolHi’s feet, more or less fifteen bottles of soju and beer were seen. Seeing them, DooSan slapped his forehead. „Wonderful,” he mumbled. „She has drunk enough to kill a horse, but it doesn’t seem enough for SolHi, even if she barely stands, I’m sure.”

„They aren’t all empty and not all are for me,” said SolHi, seeing him reproachfully shaking his head. „I have for you too. Here.” Then, using the spoon again, she opened another bottle of beer.

DooSan frowned, then sat by her. After that, staring at the spoon, he asked SolHi, „Where do you have it from? Don’t tell me: have you flown on it to come here?”

SolHi grinned. „I got here on the broom. The spoon is from your collection of flying things. Something strange.”

„What exactly?”

„That you have so many flying things. The first one to fly was the Rolls Royce, the second one - the wheel, and now the spoon,” SolHi chortled.

„Don’t start it, okay?!” DooSan hissed through his teeth.

„Why exactly? It’s funnier this way. And it’s a shame that I don’t have any other screw to return it to you because…”

„Ian SolHi!”

„What?” She also screamed, pressing with more force on the spoon’s tail while trying to open a bottle of beer for DooSan. Because of the force used, the cap of the bottle flew beside DooSan’s ear, forcing him to catch it on the fly eventually. After that, he slowly growled, furious, seeing SolHi smiling. „Ups, no offense, but… it’s not my fault that everything flies in this house. I even feel myself inside of a flying saucer.” Then, without caring that the bottle was for DooSan, she sipped from it, cooling her soul.

Seeing her acting like that, DooSan sighed. „I’m definitely in trouble tonight because of you,” he murmured. SolHi said nothing, even if she heard what he mumbled. She only focused on what she was already doing - on drinking from that bottle, which she half emptied already, paying no attention to DooSan. This made DooSan grab that bottle in the end, asking her shortly after this, „Why are you here, SolHi? I don’t think that you came here only to have a drink with me.”

„You are right, Han DooSan! I didn’t come here for beer but for a kiss.”

DooSan swallowed hard. „Kiss? Which one?”

„The one you owe me?” SolHi asked him in an innocent tone, staring into the man’s eyes. „I… I gave you one on the lavender field to save your ass. Now… you owe me one too. Do you know why? I mean… why I’m here… for that kiss: because I don’t like to have debts.”

„What the hell is she talking about?” DooSan wondered, reproachfully shaking his head. „Nothing good for sure. Not after all the beer and soju she drank.” Saying this, DooSan was right because, while he changed that bathrobe for something more practical, SolHi managed to finish two bottles of soju and two of beer. Enough to come with surprises because, soon after this, DooSan saw her approaching him on all four. „And this… what the hell should this mean?” He asked, seeing SolHi right in front of him, staring into his eyes while she was still on all fours.

„I try to see what an asshole’s face looks like.”

DooSan frowned. „It didn’t sound nice.”

„I agree with you this time. I agree because only you can be such a jerk. Yet, you are one I think about every day.”

DooSan’s breath stopped after such words. Why? Because he had never expected to hear such a confession from her. More than that, he didn’t expect to have such a small distance between them while their bodies almost touched each other, just as their lips were about to touch and their eyes spied each other in silence, looking from time to time at those pink lips… wet and tempted that were instigated them to a kiss.

Yet, even though he badly wanted to feel that kiss on his lips again, DooSan managed to control himself in the end. Then, touching her shoulders, he slowly pushed her away from him because he realized that they were both so close to the edge of that chasm of passion… a bottomless one. And, if they had fallen into that chasm someday, then they wouldn’t have been able for sure to escape that trap again. No, they wouldn’t have been able to escape it while their hearts were pleasantly beating in their chests… in the same rhythm of the dance of her heart that was so pleasantly felt on the skin of his chest.

„SolHi, this is not fair for me to hear such words from you,” DooSan managed to murmur eventually.

„Why?” She also asked, looking with pleading eyes at him. „Is it because I don’t deserve even a kiss?”

DooSan looked at her, confused. „What are you talking about?”

Instead of answering, SolHi smiled: sensually, beautifully, temptingly while her lips whispered a barely heard, „Just kiss me!”

DooSan’s heart stopped in his chest again. He felt that he touched Heaven after this and then… he got to hell. Why did he feel all this? Because SolHi was asking him to give up on principles and vows, to fall into the arms of the monster whom he swore to close into a cage in the end. Even so, he also wanted this. He wanted this so badly, like a dying man that lacked air. He wanted the kiss and the passion, and… how not to feel all this with that pleasant scent of lavender he felt from her hair?! He had been missing that scent for years, even though he also didn’t know the reason why he felt it.

Eventually, DooSan yielded to the temptation. His arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her toward him, and feeling her chest touching his so soon after this. The moment she touched his chest, SolHi’s breasts blossomed under the cloth of her T-shirt, just as it happened to her when they had that hot kiss in DooSan’s car. At that moment, she was looking for their salvation in the euphoria of fear while there, in DooSan’s apartment, she lied to herself that it was madness, only to save herself.

Not only SolHi thought this. DooSan felt the same while looking into her pleading eyes and at her lips when SolHi asked him, „Who am I for you, Han DooSan?” A question that made him confused. „I mean… who am I for you at this moment? A friend? An enemy maybe? Or… am I a fool who believed in you that night, offering you a hot kiss as a gift?”

DooSan didn’t answer her questions. He said nothing to her not because he didn’t know what to say, but because he wasn’t sure what was right to answer at that moment. Not after what he said at the dinner, that their kiss didn’t mean anything to him. At the same time, he wasn’t to tell her that he lied to her about that kiss and he lied just to hurt her. And, understanding how clumsy and pathetic they were, hating each other in front of strangers, but looking for the other one’s warmth when they were alone, DooSan smiled.

„I know this smile,” whispered SolHi. „I remember it from that moment when you beautifully smiled at me, for the first time.” Then, with shaking hands, she touched DooSan’s lips, making him shudder because it was really weird for him to feel desire for the woman he tried so hard to hate, but whom he couldn’t hate ever. Yes, DooSan stopped hating her on that lavender field, after their hot kiss. Thus, feeling all this, feeling that he wasn’t able to hurt and hate her anymore, not when he had her so close to him, DooSan felt the mad desire to kiss her again.

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That feeling killed him inside, making him feel two opposite things at the same time: desire and guilt. Not even he could understand why he felt all this, but this confused him a lot because he had never felt this before, not even with his former lovers. Thus, finally understanding this cruel truth, DooSan realized, for the first time in his life, that he had never known what love meant and that what he felt for SolHi was something new, something he had never expected to feel one day. „As though I am in a Carousel of Fate, about to lose my mind.”

„Even so, this is real,” whispered SolHi, smiling. She sadly smiled because she understood that she wouldn’t ever have what she asked for that night: a kiss. Because of this, she suddenly pulled back, trying to run away from that cruel truth. Yet, she couldn’t go too far because DooSan, feeling her moving away from him, suddenly wrapped his arms around her body, holding her to his chest again.

„You don’t even know what you are doing to me,” the man whispered eventually, almost touching her lips. This closeness made SolHi shudder, more when she spotted his glance focused on her lips. She spotted his hungry glance, just as her glance was at that moment: starving for a kiss, for a deep love, for a love she dreamt of… a love they were sure was forbidden for them. This was so because both of them were stubborn and refused to tell the other one about what they felt. Yet, their hearts weren’t as reckless as their minds were, hearts that pushed them from behind, toward passion, one which SolHi suddenly realized that she couldn’t run away from anymore… just as she couldn’t escape the trap of the man’s arms.

„Yet, I have to.”

„To do what?” DooSan whispered.

„To run away from us, from the truth, and from the lies that surround us. Especially at this moment.”

„A lie?” The man frowned. „What are you talking about, SolHi? There can’t be a lie between us when our hearts beat like this, don’t you also think so?”

SolHi smiled. „Then? Do you think that these hearts, which are strangely beating in our chests, tell us the truth?”

„Honestly, I don’t know. At least I feel that they aren’t fake. Our heartbeats… our breath that is stopped in our chests… which hurts.”

Hearing the word „hurts,” SolHi suddenly looked elsewhere. She felt that she had to run because… pain had always been part of her life, at least in those last seven years. Even so, she had never gotten used to it. Understanding this, she asked DooSan to release her. Something that DooSan stubbornly denied because… He really couldn’t understand why SolHi came to his apartment that night. More than that, he couldn’t understand why she lied at the dinner that the kiss they had in that lavender field meant nothing to her. He didn’t know why that life kept tormenting him by bringing the woman he dreamt about into his arms, a woman whom he could never have into his arms as he wanted… as his beloved woman and not as his enemy.

Because of this, DooSan’s eyes filled with tears. He felt tears in his eyes when he spotted the same in the eyes of the woman he had in his arms, the woman that was slowly shaking in the sweet trap of his arms, whom he asked after this, „What are you trying to do with my life, Ian SolHi? Why don’t you run away from me when you know very well that nothing can be between us? Nothing from what you want and maybe… from what I want too.”

SolHi gnashed her teeth. „I don’t know,” she said idly. „I just felt the urge to come here today.”

„For what? Looking for what? Dreaming about what, SolHi?”

„Looking for answers, DooSan. This is what I want from you: answers. Those… I’m not sure I want to hear them anymore.”

„Because of fear?” The shaking of her body let him understand that he was right. At the same time, he saw the hesitation in her glance and the slow movement of her chest that was practically stuck to his.

The slow movement of her chest made DooSan vibrate. He wanted more from her even though he knew that it wasn’t right to feel this. Even so, he loved the madness of the passion vibrating in his soul, just like he adored the mad flowing of the blood through his veins after this. How not to love it when he saw SolHi biting the pink of her lips… timidly. This innocent bite of her lips made him wonder again about that sweet torment that got to his arms that night and why she was there.

Suddenly, he winced. The reason? A sudden kiss when SolHi felt the urge to stick her lips to his. Then… she waited. She also didn’t know why she was doing this. She only knew that it was right to do this. Yet, the seconds passed, at mad speed beside them, without anything else happening between them. Because of this, they looked like living statues at that moment, statues that forgot to breathe… carved in the air by that skillful master of love.

The longing and the waiting didn’t last long: only seconds. This happened because of SolHi, who felt clumsy after she understood that if the man didn’t react to her kiss, it meant he refused her. Because of this, she suddenly pulled back, intending to break the magic, chase the madness away, and interrupt that childish game of love, which she thought she could play that night.

SolHi was wrong in thinking that DooSan refused her that night. He, clumsy and afraid, feeling her moving away again, held her to his chest, completely charmed by the pink of her lips and by the pleasant scent of her woman’s body. Then… he kissed her.

That kiss was a strange one. It wasn’t strange because it happened, but because of what it awoke in their souls. At the same time, it was a miracle that they had never expected because, only two souls, which suffered so much in life as they suffered, were able to appreciate that sweet madness, one that lasted so few, but which filled them to the brim with magic.

***

Just the two of them at the table, after the rest of the team left, Kan and Yu decided to stay a little bit more there. The reason? They felt responsible for how the dinner ended that night. Kan felt this in particular because the rest of the team found out about SolHi and YuSan that night. And, also because of this, DooSan talked so harshly to the woman he liked. Everybody knew that. Only Han DooSan was still pretending not to understand this, ignoring the truth.

Not the same happened to Kan, who wasn’t ignoring the truth and who mentioned that „love scene” trying to make them understand this too. He said that when he saw SolHi and DooSan so gently touching their hands. Then, it happened what happened that night, and Kan started to blame himself for this because he understood that he had been wrong in revealing the feelings the two lovers had for each other. More than that, Kan felt guilty for SolHi, who left that night and wandered the streets when she should have stayed with them, aware that she felt so bad that night. „As she always feels after such cases,” murmured the detective, sighing, and pouring more whisky in his glass.

Kan drank a lot that night, but, even so, he was still sober, even though he would have liked not to be. He hadn’t gotten drunk since long ago, since life slapped him so badly, and he started to drink more often. Thus, even though he drank strong liquor, Kan was always sober, and this often enraged him because he would have liked to forget things and sleep. Just as he would have liked to happen to him that night.

Inspector Yu was as sober as Kan. He also drank a lot, but this didn’t darken his judgment. And, just like Kan, he understood what happened that night between SolHi and DooSan, but said nothing about this. He also didn’t reproach Kan for talking more than he should have done. The inspector only calmly waited until Kan said, „You are right in thinking this about me, that I’ve been a coward when I asked SolHi not to tell anyone about her and Han YuSan. I should have let her tell at least you about this.”

Yu sadly smiled. „I knew already about this.”

„Did SolHi tell you about this?” Yu nodded. „Honestly, I had no idea she told you. I thought she wouldn’t ever tell this to anyone. And… she’s not guilty for what happened. I’m pretty sure of this, even though others think differently. Honestly, if SolHi hadn’t been involved in Han YuSan’s case, maybe her Fate would have been different now.” Yu stared at Kan, confused. „Didn’t you know about this?”

„No. I found out from her only that she decided to enter the police because of what happened to Han YuSan. I found out more details about the case later. Not that they had worked together in another case.”

„Yet, they worked together. That one was a case that brought them closer to each other, the case of one of SolHi’s students, who was abused seven years ago. Han YuSan had been the prosecutor in charge of that case while SolHi supported the girl. The rest… you know it, I’m sure.”

„Even so, I still can’t believe they knew each other.”

„They not only knew each other. SolHi even got to accuse him of having something to do with the rape of her student.”

„What? This is crazy! Han YuSan wasn’t capable of protecting a criminal. Not one that abused an underage girl. Kan, I knew that man. He was a good man, a brave man. He wouldn’t have ever attacked someone.”

„I advise you not to account for anyone, Inspector. And, to be more precise, SolHi didn’t accuse him just because she wanted to accuse someone. She had evidence. Strong evidence, by the way.”

„Evidence you can’t tell me about.”

„Exactly. Why? It’s personal. Not for me, but for SolHi. She’s the only one who can talk about this. And, if we talk about this now, I wanted to ask you why you didn’t know about SolHi if you and Han YuSan were working together at that time.”

„You are wrong now, Kan. Han YuSan and I stopped working together months before his death.”

„The reason?”

„Nothing personal. Let’s just say I’ve been considered the perfect patsy for another case. Not even prosecutor Han YuSan could do anything at that moment to keep me on his team. That’s why, when he died, I was working somewhere in the countryside. I didn’t know he died. I found out about the tragedy three years later when I met prosecutor Han DooSan. He told me about his brother’s death.”

„Did Han DooSan look for you?”

„Yes. He had just entered the Law School when we met. He looked for me to ask me for details about the case. He told me then that his brother died because of a woman. He never told me who that woman was. I found out only today when SolHi said that. Well, she told me about this a few days before, but I didn’t pay too much attention to this.”

„Why?”

„Because I thought that it was something personal and I didn’t want to ask for details when she seemed not to be eager to talk about this. More than that, it’s not my job to judge her, not after I got to know her.”

„Something you’ll do sooner or later. Eventually, this will also influence you… the truth you have found out today. You will also judge her just as others are doing because… it has always been so. Just as I think that’s wrong for her and Han DooSan to work together because… the others already gossip that they are lovers.”

„That’s a stupid thing. Everybody knows why Han DooSan hired SolHi.”

„We know this, Yu. The rest of the people simply ignore this thing. For them, it’s better if SolHi is still the butcher while Han DooSan is the victim. It’s easier for them to blame a criminal for manipulating the victim’s brother than to look for the truth. It can’t be worse than this. More than that, nobody ever will be by SolHi’s side. What will happen to her starting today is to receive more slaps than before and we’ll cry more… much more than she has already cried for what has happened then.”

„Something she can avoid if she leaves. Nobody will judge her for this. Not us.” Kan smiled. „Don’t you think so too?”

„Yeah, I have a different opinion, just as I’m sure SolHi won’t ever leave. Not even if she’s forced to wash her „shame” with a lot of tears, wearing a huge cross on her shoulders - the one of Han YuSan’s death. She can’t forgive herself for what happened that night. How will others forgive it if she can’t do this? More than that, even if she leaves, this doesn’t mean she’ll happily live after this, just as it’s a sure thing that nobody hires her after this.”

„Then… maybe it’s time for her to start to think differently, don’t you think?” Said Yu, pouring whisky into their glasses. „I mean… turning herself from prey to predator.”

„Do you think she didn’t try this? Of course, she tried it, but it didn’t work. Even so, SolHi is a great woman. She’s the kind of woman you rarely meet nowadays. She’s tough as many police officers call her, and she fought for this „honor” with teeth and nails… to make sure she’d been respected. To make sure others will respect her, SolHi has done everything. She never ran even though the case was difficult. She worked side by side with us day and night. She even supported others, even though those whom she helped never thanked her for this. Same thing Han DooSan does now: he only tries to take advantage of SolHi while working with her. More than that, he wants her dead even if he sees how much she suffers and how many tears she sheds because of that night.”

„You can’t also blame him, Kan. He lost his brother that night.”

„She also lost someone dear that night. SolHi lost more than Han DooSan that night. Even so, you are also right. It would have been even weirder if none of them had lost his mind after what happened.”

Yu frowned. „You said SolHi has also lost someone that night?”

„Yes, but… I can’t tell you whom she lost. If she wants this, she’ll tell you one day. I won’t ever talk about this.”

„It seems fair to me because… it’s not your right to tell others about her secrets. You can only be with her and observe how hatred turns to love.”

„What the hell are you talking about, Yu?”

„About the kiss between Han DooSan and Ian SolHi. Or what, did you believe what they said: that it was a kiss that didn’t matter to any of them?”

„Honestly, I have no idea. Although, SolHi said so.”

„Hell no: she’s lying. Both of them are lying. And… trust me, I know what I say. I know this from those who work for the DEA.”

„DEA? And… how the hell have they found out about this?”

„They saw them,” said Yu, smiling. „Right from the first row.” Kan frowned. „They caught our pigeons kissing in the car.”

„SolHi told me that they kissed because they feared someone would catch them there. Improvisation or something like that.”

„Maybe! I mean, maybe they did that at first because SolHi didn’t know the boys from DEA. Seeing them approaching their car, they thought that those two were the men following them. To save themselves, they decided to improvise, something that turned damn real. And, trust me: that kiss was real. Not even the best actors can improvise something like this, Kan. Not in the car and not… how DEA saw them there.”

Kan coughed to chase that awkward feeling away from them because it turned strange for him to hear Yu talking about SolHi and DooSan’s kiss. After that, nervously, he emptied the glass and said, „I don’t believe what you say, honestly. Not when I know what kind of hunting dogs these two are. They rather rip off each other’s skin than… pass to another kind of action.”

„It’s up to you if you don’t believe me. Even so, I say the truth. Something that we’ll all find out, sooner or later. And, I’m also sure that Han DooSan will suffer more because of this relationship than SolHi.”

„You are talking nonsense right now. What relationship, dude? It was only a kiss. Yeah, maybe it turned a little bit hot, but this happened because hormones work faster when people are young. This won’t turn into something more than this. Trust me! Not after everything that happened between them.”

„Honestly, you seem strange,” said Yu, smiling, pouring more whisky into the glasses. „You look like a dad who tries to protect his daughter. Yet, „daddy,” it’s time to open your eyes because… oh, man, Han DooSan has stolen your girl already. And, trust me, if Han DooSan awakes someday and realizes that if he doesn’t do something quickly he can lose someone important, then you won’t ever split these two. Something that I’m sure we’ll happen one day. Nea, this happens yes or yes, I know what I say!”

„What I know, also for sure, is that one of them will get buried and the other one behind bars for his murder if we leave them alone again. So, better than talking nonsense, you’ll do us a favor if you keep an eye on them.” Then, furious, even if he didn’t know why he acted like that, Kan took the bottle from Yu’s hand and poured more whisky. He did that while feeling that he was burning inside, as though the alcohol would have helped him extinguish the arson from his soul.

***

Less than half an hour after his conversation with Kan, Yu received a strange phone call. This brought him to the Kanam police station eventually, twenty minutes after the phone call. The reason? A considerable family problem.

Entering the police section, Yu approached one of the detectives to ask him where he could find Detective Gi, who gave him that strange phone call. Seeing Gi waving him to come to his desk, Yu excused himself with the first detective and then headed toward Gi’s desk. A few steps from Gi, seeing the back of a young man, who wore a black parka and was with his back to him, Yu cooked his nose. Then, suddenly, he slapped that one’s head.

Yu’s „sweet” caress made the young man jump to his feet and stare at the Inspector. He looked at Yu from above, being taller than the Inspector, about 1.8 in height probably while Yu barely got at 1.65. Yet, this didn’t scare the Inspector, and neither did the young man do something to the one who slapped him. What the young man did was purse his lips and, somehow scared, he murmured eventually, „It hurts, Dad!” Then, he looked elsewhere when he saw Yu staring at him like a pitbull thirsty for blood.

„It hurts? Dad?” Yu hissed through his teeth. „Did you finally remember that you have a father, Yu SuJin? Wow, such a great surprise, you, damn idiot! So, tell me, what have you done this time?”

„Nothing special! Just they picked me up by accident.” Seeing Yu’s eyes sparkling because of anger, SuJin sat down on his chair. He even moved on to the next chair, trying to make sure he was as far as possible from Yu’s special caresses.

His son’s reaction made Yu sigh. „You’ll kill me one day for sure. You and your stupid ideas.” After that, sitting on the chair while squinting at SuJin, he told him, „You go to the army for sure, once we are out of here.”

„Before the army, this young man must pay for what he did,” said Gi, smiling. Then, he put a file in front of Yu.

Looking through the file, a thick one, Yu frowned. The inspector’s grimace made SuJin carefully look at his father, knowing very well what Yu could do when he was mad. The poor young man even winced when he heard Yu hissing through his teeth, „Wow, something new this time: electronic espionage! What a surprise and I thought you were as dumb as the night. Oh, no! The stupid one between us two was me, who thought that my son, an idiot who barely finished school, had no idea what life meant when he knew more than me. How to steal someone’s bread, for example.”

„He didn’t do that alone, anyway. He had his back assured by the gang over there,” Gi informed the inspector, smiling, even though he knew that it wasn’t the right time for a comic commentary. „The guy’s name is Ko Gi Hiok, the leader of the gang I mean. The one who, along with Yu SuJin, helped someone to take money from an underage boy’s account, who’s invalid.”

Yu seemed surprised. Only for a few minutes. Then, of an impressive calmness, something that amazed Gi too, he asked, „And? How soon can you send this one to jail?”

The inspector’s question made SuJin and Gi widely open their eyes. The detective even stuttered while asking, „To send him behind bars? Not to take him out?”

„What for? If he is in trouble, he has to pay for them. Just like those I pick up every day.”

„But I did nothing, Dad. I swear I’m innocent. I only tried to help the poor man to check his bank account.”

„Why didn’t he go to the bank if it was so urgent?” Yu asked in a hissing tone.

„Because he forgot his password?” SuJin innocently asked. „He didn’t remember it. That’s why he asked us for help. By the way, we are for this: to help those that have problems.”

Yu’s roar made everybody present in the police station wince. The ten guys, both police officers and delinquents brought there for investigations, stared in amazement toward Gi’s desk, waiting for SuJin’s answer when they heard Yu’s question, „Yu SuJin, are you stupid or only pretending to be one? How the hell can you be that idiot to talk such nonsense things in front of the police officers? More than that, you said this in front of your father, who knows very well who you are.”

„Honestly, I don’t understand why you are so furious.”

„Because I’m aware that your little brain doesn’t think at all? Or what: do you think that everybody is stupid and you are the only one smart here? If you think so, then… surprise: there are smarter guys than you are. Those who work for the bank for example, who are more than capable of changing passwords if an idiot has forgotten it. If they hadn’t been capable of this, the State would have hired smart idiots like you to break into their accounts then.” After that, so angry that the entire police station resounded after this, Yu SuJin’s head felt another slap.

Not even after the second slap, SuJin said nothing, even if it hurt like hell. He only hunched a little, looking at Gi, with pleading eyes, asking at least that one for mercy when he understood that Yu wouldn’t show it. That look made Gi smile again. Then, he told Yu, „You know, there is good news too.”

„Only crap!” Yu hissed through his teeth, ironically. „Surprisingly, we have good news too. Like?”

„Like the one that if SuJin accepts his guilt and does some community service, he gets free.”

„And, if he gets free, what goes after this: NASA? PENTAGON? A spaceship into whose systems Yu SuJin „accidentally” breaks in? No, thanks! I know what I can wait for from him if he doesn’t go to jail this time!”

„Not if he learns the lesson.”

„Something I doubt! Or… who knows? Maybe he learns this too as he has learned so many things behind my back, right, Yu SuJin?”

The young man pursed his lips again. „You know, Dad, talking like that about me, in front of others, shows disrespect. More than that, you are insulting my intelligence and not accepting my power as the Black Unicorn of the team.”

„The black… what?” Yu asked, pumping his eyes.

„Unicorn,” replied Gi, smiling. „Your son’s nickname in the gang’s database.”

„I think you wanted to say the Black Cobra. One that bites from behind because… otherwise, I can’t explain why he’s as dumb as the night. So, Black Unicorn, tell me: from where to pick you up next time? From what police station or grave, I mean!”

„None,” SuJin mumbled. „I understood my mistake.”

„Something I doubt. But, if you say that you’ve learned it, then… sign the paper and accept your guilt. After that, we’ll see where I pick you up next time.”

„Hell no!” SuJin snapped at his father. „Why should I accept something I haven’t done? More than that, I’m an adult already and can decide this on my own.”

„Really?!” Replied Yu in a mocking tone. „Then, if you are a grown man, why did they call me here if you can decide on your own?”

„What do I know?! I haven’t insisted. If I had called you here…”

„Wonderful then! It means I’m free! Yet, Yu SuJin: if I go and you don’t sign that paper, consider you have no father! Thus, as I’m dead for you, you are also dead for me! More than that, once we are dead for each other, in the same grave we don’t fit… house I mean! So, it’s up to you if you choose to live with us or alone!”

Without a whimper, because he knew very well that if Inspector Yu decided something, he wouldn’t change his mind for anything in the world, SuJin sighed. After that, he signed the paper, accepting his guilt. If not… he was dead for sure.

***

Still sleeping, SolHi turned her back to the window. She did that when she felt that the light bothered her. After that, feeling thirsty, she started to grope around, looking for a bottle of water. Instead of a bottle, she grabbed someone’s nose, yelling blue murder after this, that poor DooSan jumped out of bed, rolling on the floor eventually.

„What? What? What has happened?” The man asked, looking around, frightened. „Did someone break into the apartment or what?”

„Yeah, you, into my room!” SolHi yelled at him. „What the hell are you doing in my house, Han DooSan?”

Her question made DooSan raise an eyebrow. „Your house? Are you sure of this?” This made SolHi carefully look around. „Wow, this is magic: instead of your house, you are in a single man’s bed. Is this another magic?”

„No need for your ironies.”

„And what I don’t need is to be accused of entering someone’s bed when it was the opposite.”

„Then, what should I accuse you of? That you took advantage of me?”

„While you are still dressed?” DooSan asked her ironically. SolHi cooked her nose. „Last time I checked, I used to sleep with a woman undressed, not to abuse her through clothes.”

„Don’t exaggerate, okay?”

„Of course not. I’m only calling a thing by its real name because I did not need such an awakening this morning. Not after the last night when you made me cross through all the circles of hell.” After that, a little bit furious, he grabbed a bottle of water and threw it to SolHi.

Catching it on the fly, SolHi rushed to take the lid off and thirstily drank. Yet, she did that not because she was thirsty, but trying to camouflage her shame and look for an escape from that room. Yet, she had no way to do that. Not as long as DooSan kept an eye on her. Thus, to make him take his eyes off her, SolHi idly said, „Well, be as you wish! You won this time!”

„What a relief!” DooSan bit the bait. „That you accept the mistake, I mean. At least from time to time because I don’t need a visit to the police station right from the morning, being accused of taking advantage of you when I haven’t even touched you because…”

Poor DooSan kept silent in the end, staring with pumped eyes behind SolHi, when she jumped out of bed and got out of the room through the half-open door. Seconds later, he heard the front door slam, a hint that SolHi left the apartment. Only then did DooSan breathe, murmuring, confused, after this, „And that? What the hell was that? A war or something?” Then, still amazed because of SolHi’s reaction, he reproachfully shook his head, looking through his things to find a T-shirt because he was still shirtless.

***

When the elevator’s door opened, SolHi hopped out of it while still struggling to put the second shoe on. She was furious because… on one hand - she didn’t remember how the hell she got to DooSan’s apartment, and… secondly - she felt strange after she accused him of taking advantage of her while she was still dressed. „As though I’ve lost my mind. The alcohol dumbed you, Ian SolHi, nothing else because… how the hell could you come to his door last night? Drunk and… looking for what? Comprehension? For him to apologize for what he said last night? Yeah, sure: what you got was more mockery on his part because he would make fun of you for an entire life after this. Well deserved, by the way!”

Hearing someone’s steps descending the stairs, SolHi became attentive. She hit the pike only when she listened to DooSan’s voice, who asked her to wait for him. This made her jerk from her place, pushing the front door to get out. Soon after this, she stopped, confused, when an egg, thrown by someone from the crowd that was in front of the building, touched her head and leaked on her face after this. A turnabout she hadn’t ever expected, just as she hadn’t expected to hear those people, a few dozen men and women that were gathered there, yelling at her while asking her to vanish from the earth’s surface, cursing the day Ian SolHi was born.

Their curse was everything SolHi was able to hear at that moment. She heard and saw nothing else than this. She didn’t see DooSan exiting the building behind her and freezing a few steps from her. Just like her, DooSan was in over his head because what happened in front of the building it was too much even for him. DooSan didn’t react, not even when someone grabbed SolHi’s hand and pulled her into the middle of the crowd, punching and kicking, and yelling at her that she was shameless, an assassin that didn’t have the right to be happy with the brother of the man whom she cold-bloody killed seven years ago.

SolHi also didn’t do anything to protect herself at that moment. She also didn’t ask for help. She only stared at DooSan, eyes bathed by tears, wondering if that was the end: in the claws of those who wanted her death at any cost. Yet, her torment didn’t last long because Kan, Yu, Yoon Suk, and two patrols with police officers appeared in front of the building a few minutes after her nightmare started. Even if they got there, they needed another few minutes to take SolHi from the middle of the crowd.

Only then did DooSan react and try to get to her and drag her to shelter, inside of the building. He didn’t care about the insults the crowd started to yell at him, accusing him of being SolHi’s accomplice and predicting death for him for being with the woman who killed his brother. Even so, even if he struggled with the crowd, DooSan couldn’t get to SolHi. This happened because of Yoon Suk, who helped him to get out of the crowd, and told him after this, „If you want to help her and for her to be safe, stay here! No, go and hide! It’s everything you can do for her!”

DooSan did that eventually: he stood there, looking behind SolHi, who was leaving. He saw that SolHi refused Kan and Yu’s help, and didn’t enter their car. She just left: without looking back or saying something. This hurt him a lot. Moreover, DooSan felt overwhelmed the moment he understood that SolHi suffered again because of him, but he did nothing to help her. He did nothing for her again.