Liliana sat in the middle of her bedroom, ignoring the mess around her. She hadn’t allowed another maid in here since that day, and it showed. Broken furniture had been shoved against the walls, out of her way. She wasn’t sure when all of it had been broken, or even how. She assumed it was from when her tames went feral, or perhaps from when the guards had burst in here. Either way, she had allowed no one in to clean it up. Clothes were discarded around, she would leave used clothes where she disrobed, not caring enough to pick up after herself.

However, it meant her room looked as far from the residence of a noble lady as possible in this manor. She knew when she came back it would be cleaned. The maids finally cleared to enter and clean when she was gone. They wouldn’t want to, but they would at her father’s order. She knew he’d give it. Her having a room in such disarray was not appropriate. She snorted as she thought about that. What did she care anymore about such things?

Liliana’s eyes settled on the two children before her, and her face softened. They’d apparently been in her rooms since that day, having snuck in when Astrid’s body was being removed. She didn‘t know when they’d been eating. Perhaps they’d stolen some of the food the maids left outside the doors that she didn’t eat. Those first few days she was so out of it she wouldn’t have noticed or cared. Now they ate the food that she’d ordered a maid to leave for them daily. She owed them that, at least. Guilt twanged in her chest at those days she’d failed her task as their guardian, but she shoved it aside. She couldn’t go back in time and fix those days.

Liliana had called them in here after she’d finished packing. She’d packed everything she didn’t want strange maids touching into her storage. Astrid had kept them out of her room when she was gone before, but now there was no one to guard her secrets. So she’d emptied her rooms of anything she didn’t want others to see, or steal. She’d grabbed several dresses, useless as they'd be to her. It would keep up her cover story that she was going to a temple. She’d left most of her jewelry. Liliana didn’t care if it was stolen, if it was she knew she could simply tell her father and the offending servant would be found and expelled from the manor, perhaps minus a hand. It was a good test to see how stupid the maids were. If they were dumb enough to steal from her, best she know when they stole something she didn’t care for, and they should count themselves lucky that the only thing they lost from it was a hand and their job.

Maybe that thought should scare me, but I just can’t find it in myself to care about it, Liliana thought idly. Her empathy, not the skill of the human trait itself, seemed to have dissolved in the past week. She cared for those few souls who she deemed worth it, but for anyone else, she had little care to spare. And for the servants of this manor who had so long looked down on her and degraded her, she had even less compassion for. So what was it to her if one of them was punished for crossing her? Liliana shook her head, dismissing such pointless musings as she focused on the task at hand.

“I’ll be gone for a few weeks, about three weeks,” Liliana started, and immediately Flint cried out as Clover clung to his body. Flint looked spitting mad. Clover just looked heartbroken, her doe eyes filling with tears.

“You’re leaving us! I knew it!” Flint hissed at her, his tail standing out straight behind him, the fur puffed out. Actually, all the fur on his body was standing up and Liliana had to remind herself to hold her composure. He would only get more angry and confused if she laughed, even if he looked like a very angry toasted marshmallow.

“No, I’m not leaving. I’m going on a trip. A very important trip. I’ll be back in three weeks, I promise,” Liliana told Flint, leaning forward to take his hands, which were curled into claws. He hissed at her and swiped at her hand. Liliana didn’t flinch. There was nothing he could do to her that would hurt her physically and if it helped him work out his anger, she’d let him swipe at her for hours.

“Why can’t we go? You’re not taking us because you’re going to leave!” Flint spit at her, his sharp teeth barred.

Don’t coo at him, don’t do it, Liliana ordered herself as she fought down a smile. He really was so cute when he was angry.

“It’s not safe where I’m going. I can’t lose anyone else. Not now, not ever. If I took you two with me, you would die. There would be nothing I could do to protect you. And that would kill me too,” Liliana explained. She didn’t believe in lying to children, or sugar coating things. Especially not with Flint and Clover. They’d seen so much cruelty already. Lying to them to spare them would only destroy the tentative trust they‘d built. They were too smart for that. She’d shield them from the depravity of the world as much as she could. She’d make sure they got to have the childhood she’d never get, but she would never lie to them about the darkness of the world or the dangers.

“But… then who will protect you? Everyone’s left us! Even Astrid! And you promised she wouldn’t! Now you’re going somewhere we can’t go a-a-and y-you w-won’t come back,” Flint’s anger was quickly draining, replaced with grief that broke Liliana’s already shredded heart. Tears were sliding down his face, even as he wiped angrily at them, his tail drooping and his ears falling limply on his head.

Liliana couldn’t take it anymore. She lunged forward and grabbed both children in her arms and pulled them into her lap, hugging them as tightly as she could without hurting them. They still felt so small to her, so delicate and weak. Of everyone who held a piece of her heart, they were the ones who needed the most protection. It only solidified her plan for them while she was gone.

“Shh, I’ll come back. I have someone who is coming with me who will keep me safe. But that’s a secret, okay? I promise, I’ll come back to you. I’ll never leave you permanently. I may have to go on trips, sometimes for a long time, but I’ll always come back to you two for as long as you need me,” Liliana murmured to Flint and Clover as she rocked them, both children were gripping her shirt tightly, their tears soaking through it as they tried to press themselves into her.

She did not know when she’d begun to see the two kids as some mixture of her own and siblings, but she did. They were hers. They held a piece of her heart in their little hands that she knew she’d never get back and she never wanted to. Let them hold on to her heart, let them be some of her guiding lights. As long as they held on, she knew she’d always find her way back home. Back to the right path.

Liliana pulled back a little when the tears slowed, morphing into sniffles. The children whimpered when her hands left them but her gentle shushing calmed them long enough for her to lift a chain from her neck .On it was a beautiful, silver waterlily with a small sapphire in the center of the bloom. It had been Astrid’s gift to her for the winter solstice. She’d worn it every day since, it had been the last thing Astrid had given her. The last token of her love that Liliana would ever receive, and perhaps her most prized possession now. It physically hurt her to remove it, but she knew she had to do this, to cement the trust. Liliana dropped the chain over Flint’s head, and he jolted back a bit in surprise as his hands automatically went to grab what she’d placed on his neck. His eyes widened in surprise and then confusion as he looked from the necklace to her.

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“But this is…” He trailed off, as if not willing to put to words what it was, not willing to admit it was the last thing Liliana had ever received from her mother.

“It’s the most precious thing I own. The last gift Astrid gave me. I’m giving it to you for safekeeping. it could get damaged where I’m going, so like the secret I gave you two I need you both to keep that safe for me, okay?” Liliana told the children as her arms wrapped back around them, her voice solemn. She knew this would assure the children she would come back. In a language they could easily understand. They would hold it as collateral for her promise. She watched their eyes widen before they hardened with determination, Flint’s hand wrapped around the pendant, some petals poking through his small fingers. He nodded his head, and Clover reached out and covered his fist with her own.

“We’ll keep it safe, lady Liliana,” Clover spoke this time, her soft voice carrying a steadiness Liliana hadn’t expected from the small girl.

“Good, and I’ll keep myself safe so I can take that back in three weeks, alright?” Liliana told them and she held her hands out, pinkies extended. The kids giggled a little as her offer broke the heavy tension. Their pinkies locked together as they all muttered ‘I promise’ before pulling their hands apart.

A knock at the door startled the children, and Liliana’s shattered heart warmed a little that they immediately clung to her in their surprise and fear. That promise had done more than she expected. It seemed to solidify their trust in her that they sought her for safety. Perhaps it was just her proximity, but she liked to think she made them feel safe.

“Come in, Jason,” Liliana called out as she looked over her shoulder. Jason opened the door, stopping when his eyes took in the disarray of her room. It was a credit to his training and character that he only paused for a heartbeat before striding towards her, the door shutting behind him.

“You called?” Jason asked, standing at parade rest a few feet in front of her. His eyebrow raised a bit when he saw that she still held both children in her lap, but he didn’t mention it.

“I’ll be gone for three weeks. I leave tonight. I’ll be going to a temple for my grief. I need you to watch over Flint and Clover while I’m gone. There’s no one else in this manor I trust with this task,” Liliana informed the guard. She’d chosen him carefully. She had considered several variables that had resulted in her choice.

Jason was loyal to her. She knew that. If she ever left the manor, he would follow her, she was certain. She knew he saw her as family more than just a charge, and she saw him similarly. For those same reasons, she knew if she left, he’d try to follow. He wouldn’t accept her cover story, and wouldn’t understand why she wasn’t taking him with her to a temple. So she had to give him a task to do, something to ensure he didn’t have the time to follow her and get himself killed.

She could’ve asked Alistair to look after Flint and Clover, but Alistair was still a risk to trust. His mother had already killed Astrid, even if accidentally Liliana knew she’d do it again. Imogen had seen what Astrid’s death did to her. If the woman was clever enough, she’d figure out all she needed to do to break Liliana’s spirit was kill everyone she cared about. An easier task than killing Liliana herself. And Flint and Clover were weak, defenseless and easy targets for such a scheme. For that very reason she needed them somewhere safe, somewhere Imogen wouldn’t be able to get to them easily. Alistair was too close. Emyr could do it, but Liliana wasn’t sure he’d do well with children. He’d barely interacted with them since they’d come to the manor.

“Perhaps you should take some leave, show the children Ariowood while I’m gone. I’m sure your family misses you,” Liliana continued, a subtle hint for him. If Jason could be away from the manor while Liliana was gone, it would remove three people she cared about from Imogen’s direct influence. Liliana watched emotions flash over Jason’s face, saw as his mind worked through her words and tried to uncover what she wasn’t saying, what she couldn’t say. She couldn’t take any risks with this. She trusted Jason with her life, but it didn’t mean she had to give him all the details he didn’t need.

“Why can’t we come with you?” Jason finally asked, though his face showed he already expected the answer she would give.

“You cannot,” Liliana told him with ease.

“It won’t be safe, you’ve already been attacked three times,” Jason told her and she could see anger flaring.

“No, it’s not safe. But I’ll come back in three weeks, that I can promise you,” Liliana told him with certainty. She had no intention of dying. If she had to drag her barely alive body back here by her fingernails, she would. She would not die until she’d seen her stepmother and father pay for their crimes.

“Fine.” Jason spat out after several minutes of glaring at her. Liliana nodded her head with a small smile. She knew Jason would listen. She knew she could trust him for this. Liliana slowly got up, letting the children slide off her lap before striding to Jason and throwing her arms around him, hugging him with all her Strength, knowing his body could handle it.

“Keep them safe, keep yourself safe. I can’t lose anyone else, Jason. I can’t.” Liliana whispered into his chest. Jason’s arms wrapped around her as his shock over her uncharacteristic display of affection wore off, and he hugged her just as tightly.

“Same to you, little one. You come back in one piece or I’ll beat your ass,” Jason whispered to her as he gave her one last squeeze and pulled back. Liliana stepped away and gave him a sad smile.

“Threatening your lady, Jason? The audacity,” she chided, but her voice held a trace of amusement. She wasn’t ready to laugh yet, or even truly smile as she had before, but there was some shadow of the emotion in her.

“A lady? All I see is a brat,” Jason teased her with his own sad smile and Liliana shook her head.

She turned to the children, drawing them into one last hug. She pressed a kiss to the tops of their heads before gently pushing them towards Jason. The guard reached out two hands instinctively, and the children grabbed onto them. Liliana smiled to herself. Jason was a good choice. He had experience with younger children, and he was strong. He’d keep them happy and safe while she was gone.

“Go now, leave tomorrow or the day afterwards. Don’t stay here too long if you can avoid it but give at least a day after I leave to make your own departure,” Liliana advised them, her smile fading and being replaced with a cool mask as she uttered the commands. Jason nodded, bowing to her, their previous camaraderie gone as he took an order from his lady. When it came to it, Jason knew how to behave like a proper guard. With that final order, he guided the children from her room and Liliana gave them a last wave before the door closed and cut off their sad faces.

“You can come out now,” Liliana said as she turned to stare at the shadows in the corner of her room, her arms crossed as she watched them shift unnaturally. Her expression didn’t change from her cool mask as a familiar figure walked out, his eyes filled with anger.

“Emyr,”