“This is sunlight, and fresh air. I know you’ve probably forgotten what it looks like,” Marianne’s sweet voice teased from next to Liliana, where the princess had linked their arms together tightly.
“The horror. I think I’m dying. Help. It burns. Oh, no.” Liliana responded, deadpan. A choked snort came from behind them and Liliana looked over her shoulder to see Alistair muffling laughter behind a hand. Emyr was smirking next to him.
“And over there, those are people. You know, for you to talk to and socialize with.” Marianne continued as if she hadn’t heard Liliana’s comment, though there was amusement in her voice.
“Oh, now that’s actually terrifying. I’ll have nightmares tonight.” Liliana kept her deadpan tone up as she was dragged towards the towers marking the elective buildings. There was a soft, quiet chuckle behind them and Liliana smiled, knowing she’d gotten the laugh out of Emyr.
“You’re a nightmare.” Marianne muttered. Liliana smiled benignly at her, widening her eyes a little to sell the innocence.
“You love me,” Liliana informed her, leaning closer. Marianne huffed and rolled her eyes, but her lips twitched into a smile.
“Unwillingly.” Marianne said.
Liliana’s head turned as sounds of battle reached them. They were passing the outdoor training grounds, and it seemed an upper year class had Battle Training today. Her steps slowed, and she veered towards the grounds, curious about what class was fighting, what they were learning, what they were doing.
“No. Nothing about fighting right now.” Marianne ordered, digging her heels in to try to slow Liliana. It was hilariously ineffective, but Liliana slowed anyway. Marianne might not be able to overpower her physically, but she truly didn't want to earn her friend’s ire.
“But.” Liliana whined, bottom lip protruding as she pouted pitifully. Marianne raised an eyebrow, face stern and looking so much like her mother that Liliana found herself straightening and turning away from the training grounds on instinct.
“Good. Now what electives have you been considering?” Marianne said as she patted Liliana’s arm. Liliana shot one last, longing look at the training ground before she trudged along beside Marianne.
“Soul and Telekinesis are ones I need to take, then either Wind or Astral for my third.” Liliana murmured.
This was why she didn’t feel much need to check out the electives. She already knew what she wanted. For clubs, she was going to take Alchemy and likely Beastology, if it met on alternate days. She’d considered Herbology, but three clubs would fill her time too much. They’d gotten packets that detailed the clubs and electives when they were accepted, and she’d already went over all the information before she even stepped foot on Academy soil, bolstering what she learned from the packets with game knowledge.
“I was thinking of taking Wind too. If you take it, we’ll be together!” Marianne gushed excitedly.
“Wind? Why?” Liliana inquired.
“I want to get the Music sub-affinity, it’s a good support affinity.” Marianne said with a shrug of her shoulders. Liliana blinked, a bit surprised.
“Why Music, though? Wouldn’t Purification or Creation be better?” Liliana asked curiously. Marianne gave her a heavy look.
“If you’re a dancer, you need music. Don’t you?” Marianne asked. Liliana gaped at her, something choking her throat even as her eyes stung fiercely as she stared at her friend.
Liliana felt an almost overwhelming urge to hug Marianne and never let her go. It was ridiculous, childish, truly, that something like this would choke her up and throw her entire mind into turmoil. But it was the simple certainty held in Marianne’s voice and eyes, that she and Liliana would be friends for so long that choosing an affinity to match their fighting styles together would be necessary, would be a good investment.
People’s builds were sacred in this world. It was so hard to change them once they became set. Your affinities, your fighting style, dictated the classes you could get, which would determine your life. After a certain point, it became unchangeable. Marianne was telling her, in far fewer words, that she planned for them to stay friends, to stay so close they would be fighting together, for a long, long time.
For a girl who had gone so long with no friends, with so very few emotional connections, it meant something to Liliana. She wouldn’t admit it, but some part of her always expected others to discard her, eventually. To leave one day, as everyone else had in her first life. Insecurities that had stuck with her past the veil of death and into a second life. Something only reinforced by the memories she’d witnessed, the loss she’d already undergone since coming here.
“Y-Yea,” Liliana said, instead of the hundreds of things that were flying around her mind.
Yet it seemed Marianne understood everything she didn’t say, read it in her eyes and her shaky voice and wide eyes that shone a bit too much to brush off. Marianne’s face softened, and she pressed more firmly against Liliana, leaning her head against the taller girl’s shoulder. A simple understanding, an unsaid ‘I see you’.
“I’m going to take Crystal and Metal.” Alistair jumped in, either unaware of the emotional moment that had just happened or aware and trying to lighten the mood. It was a toss up with Alistair. He could be incredibly empathetic but also emotionally dense as well. He was definitely dense in regards to his own emotions, if he hadn’t figured out he was in love with Emyr yet.
“Oh? Anything else? You have a third slot. Or do you want a free period?” Marianne took to opportunity to move to less heavy topics easily. Liliana settled her breathing, subtly wiping at her eyes to banish any damning wetness.
“Well. I was thinking. Maybe. Water?” Alistair mumbled the last word, so very hesitant, and Liliana didn’t have to look to know he was watching her closely for her reaction. She stopped for a moment and let Alistair come up next to her, slipping her arm through his and squeezing it comfortingly.
“Water would be good, to get you to Ice or Muck.” Liliana said simply. Permission to her brother that she wouldn’t hold it against him if he took the one element she refused. She had her own reasons for forsaking the element of Water and all it offered, for refusing to take up what was her so-called birth right. But it didn’t mean she would demand everyone around her follow the same path.
Liliana didn’t tell him she was almost relieved he would be taking a Water affinity. It was the Rosengarde element. Every Rosengarde since their house was ennobled had a Water affinity. It wasn’t a stated requirement for the heir, Duke, or Duchess to have it, but it was an expectation. If Alistair had the element and she didn’t, it would give him a better chance of retaining his position of heir, something Liliana didn’t want, had never wanted, and would never want.
“Exactly! I was thinking, since I can’t move around much or very quickly, an affinity that will slow down or trap my enemies and negate any Speed advantages they have on me would be best. Plus, if I can keep them down, it gives Emyr time to set up,” Alistair shot a grin at his friend, who had slunk up beside him.
Emyr stumbled for a moment, apparently as easily thrown off as she by the easy confidence their more open friends had that they’d stay friends for so long their fighting styles would need to blend together well. Emyr handled it better than Liliana, his surprise hidden so quickly that anyone who didn’t know him wouldn’t have noticed it.
“I’m going to take Fire, Celestial and the Mage training class.” Emyr said simply, his voice a bit more rough than normal, but it was barely noticeable.
Liliana smiled secretly to herself, catching Emyr’s eye when he looked over at her. She raised an eyebrow, and he glared before looking away. Her smile widened. Hopeless, her boys were utterly hopeless, pining fools. And she loved every second of their nonsense.
“Let’s check out Wind first, since two of us are going to take it.” Marianne decided, leading them at the split in the path to the designated tower. Alistair shrugged, a cheerful smile on his face. Emyr didn’t speak up in either confirmation or denial, but the fact he stayed with them was his own version of approval.
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They walked into the tower, all four pausing and blinking for a moment to adjust to the dimmer interior before Marianne led their group to a classroom where the sound of a voice was emerging. Looking in, they could see a small gathering of first years sitting down while a professor went over what they could learn in the class. They settled into seats close together and listened. Liliana noted that students entered and left without comment from the professor. It seemed they had free rein to pop in and out of the speeches given. Once the professor’s speech looped back around to where it had been at when they walked in, their group got up and left.
Marianne took point, leading them through the elective buildings. They hit the Life class next, one of Marianne’s considerations, as it was closer. Then they followed the buildings, hitting Water, then Support, then Mage, and Healer classes. Marianne was debating between Support or Healer for her third elective class. They visited Fire, then Metal and Crystal. Liliana’s mind was stuffed full of information on affinities and classes she never planned to take, but she would admit even if the information was technically unnecessary, it had been interesting to learn a bit about her friend’s classes and affinities. She was relaxed and enjoying herself when they walked into the Telekinesis class, the one she was most excited about.
“Natalia?” Liliana whispered, her eyes wide as she froze in the doorway.
“Isn’t that the performer Lili had a crush on?” Alistair asked, eyebrows high, as he looked at the woman standing in the front of the class. She was almost unrecognizable out of her costume and in the Academy professor uniform.
“It is,” Emyr confirmed with a smirk.
“I didn’t have a crush on her!” Liliana hissed, that comment breaking her from her stupor. She stomped to a seat. However, her words held no real heat.
“A crush?” Marianne asked, her voice excited at this tidbit of gossip.
“It wasn’t a crush! I admire her in a professional way. Like a role model.” Liliana bit out, folding her arms over her chest as she scowled at her friends.
Despite her protestations, her eyes were inevitably drawn to the front of the room, where Natalia was telling the gathered students what they’d learn in her class, daggers dancing around her in a visual representation of the affinity. They swooped and flew through the air, maybe twenty of them overall, moving as if they had a life of their own. Natalia’s eyes caught Liliana’s for a moment and there was recognition in her eyes, and a small, brief smile and perhaps even a nod, before the woman’s gaze drifted to another student as she spoke.
“We’ve lost her.” Alistair said, his voice solemn, but when Liliana looked at him, amusement was bright in his eyes and his lips were stretched in a smile. Some part of her heart melted.
That smile of his, the carefree one that radiated so much happiness he looked like he would burst, was so rare these days. He used to hand out that bright smile like candy to anyone and everyone, but overtime the cruelty of others had dimmed that sparkling smile and made it something precious, sometime he hoarded and rarely bestowed anymore. It was like watching the sun itself slowly lose its light.
Not to say he didn’t smile anymore, he did, but the smiles that truly showed happiness, that was carefree, effortless, without shadows darkening his eyes. Those were seldom seen.
“Hush you.” Liliana grumbled, kicking at his chair with her foot hard enough to nearly send him toppling. He yelped, quiet as they were in a class, but his smile didn’t dim.
Maybe this school will be good for all of us. To remind us, we are kids. And how to be happy, again. Liliana thought wistfully.
“So, is this who any of your suitors will have to measure against?” Marianne asked, and it seemed her friends weren’t going to leave this. Liliana felt her face burn as she shrunk down in her chair petulantly.
“I told you. I don’t have a crush on her!” Liliana insisted but the disbelieving looks sent her way, heavy with mischief, said her friends didn’t believe her. Or if they did, they would not let go of it anyway, if only so they could continue to poke at her.
“Strong and forbidden, it’s her type.” Emyr decided with a nod, lips in a half smirk as his eyes dared her to disagree, because if she did, he’d just keep needling her.
Liliana met his eyes, raising a single brow. If anyone should be teased for a crush, it should be Emyr. He met her gaze, but when her eyes quickly flickered to Alistair before returning to him and she raised her brow higher still, his smirk dropped. He rolled his eyes and crossed his arms, leaning back into his chair in defeat. Liliana settled back into her chair with a satisfied smirk.
“I never realized, Lili. You never told me you had a type.” Marianne teased.
“Because I don’t have a type. I haven’t really thought of romance or dating or stuff like that before.” Liliana said with a huff.
It was true. She had never really looked at others with the idea of who she’d want to date or not. She wasn’t even sure herself what her type was. Or what it would be. Sure she’d had crushes on celebrities in her last life, didn’t everyone? People in books, who were impossibly perfect, or in games. False images, not real people with flaws and baggage and complications. But romance had never been something she had a chance to explore or even give serious consideration.
“Anyway, if you three could be quiet so I could focus on the class.” Liliana hissed at her friends.
Alistair raised his hands in defeat and Marianne frowned, but they both quieted. Liliana gave them one last suspicious look before looking to the front, where Natalia was telling them about the varied uses of Telekinesis, both for combat and not.
Apparently Telekinesis aided in multitasking, as you had to focus your mind on multiple different things at once to truly excel at the affinity, it was a mentally draining affinity to use and many barely got further than a few skills or spells before hitting a wall. You had to be able to focus your mind, and a chaotic mind or one ruled by emotions wouldn’t be able to master the affinity, as emotions could muddle the thoughts.
Natalia’s refusal to teach her before made more sense now as she listened. As she was a year ago, Liliana would’ve never been able to master Telekineses. It would’ve been a useless endeavor for Natalia to teach her and a fruitless, frustrating lesson for Liliana.
Liliana’s mind wandered to the advancement of the affinity she’d seen, with the new information she could see her success with progressing in the affinity, and the evolution of her spell [Grasp] into [Threads of Control] did coincide with her emotional growth. As she let go of her hurt, her anger, her hate, learning the affinity had become easier.
Liliana was certain, before she even saw Natalia, that she would take this class. Seeing the woman she had looked up to teaching it simply reaffirmed that decision. Liliana would finally get the chance to show Natalia that she had grown from the girl she had been, that she didn’t let her anger or hate fuel her anymore.
She still got angry, and she wouldn’t say she was an overly calm person, but she thought perhaps she was becoming someone she could be proud of. It surprised her a little, that she was so strongly hoping for Natalia’s approval, this woman she barely knew and who, during their one conversation, had insulted her more than anything. But she did want that approval.
As Natalia’s speech wrapped back around to where she’d started, it seemed all the professors had pre-planned speeches and demonstrations they just repeated through the day so all the students could get the same information, Liliana’s group stood to leave. Liliana was the last out, looking back at Natalia once more. The woman met her eyes again, and this time Liliana knew that was a nod of approval she saw.
“Definitely a crush.” Marianne commented when Liliana joined them, a beaming grin that would do Alistair proud on her face and her eyes lit up with happiness.
“Aw, my little sister is in looove.” Alistair cooed.
“That’s it.” Liliana growled.
Alistair’s eyes widened, and he made a high-pitched squeak before bolting out of the building, Liliana hot on his tail. As they zig-zagged across the grass in front of the towers, dodging around other students, Alistair laughed brightly, loud and free.
“Get back here!” Liliana shouted at him, but her smile hadn’t left her face.
When she finally caught up to her brother, she leaped and jumped onto his back. Alistair stumbled, but didn’t fall, and his arms came around to hold her legs as she smacked his head lightly.
“I give! I give! Have mercy!” Alistair yelled out between bouts of laughter. His mirth was infectious and Liliana was soon giggling helplessly, her face resting against Alistair’s shoulder as he ran around with her like an oversized backpack, her body shaking from the laughter filling them both. She wrapped her arms loosely around his neck and took a deep breath as their laughter finally subsided.
“I love you, Ali.” Liliana told him. She didn’t say it in words often. Such emotional admissions always made her uncomfortable. She preferred to show it in actions, in looks and other ways.
“Love you too, Lils,” Alistair said, his voice soft and full of emotion.
Liliana tightened her arms around him in a hug, her chest so full of sweet warmth she thought she might burst from it. After a moment, he started to walk back towards their friends and Liliana just reveled in the knowledge that her brother would always be there for her. No matter where they had started, estranged and full of complicated emotions, too afraid to care for each other because of the pain it would guarantee, she knew that now nothing could come between her and her brother.
They were family, born not just of blood, but built on a foundation of trust and through the harsh tribulations of battles, not fought simply in a dungeon or in a forest, but wars raged in their own home. A bond so strong nothing would sever it.
A brother wasn’t something Liliana had ever thought she’d need. But now, she couldn’t imagine her life without one. Couldn’t envision a future where Alistair wasn’t with her, supporting her when she was weak. Where she wasn’t beside him, reminding him how to smile when he forgot what it was like.
When they reached Marianne and Emyr, Alistair unceremoniously dumped her on her ass. Liliana kicked his leg hard enough he fell over, clutching at his leg as he whined, but the laughter that filled the air stoked that warmth in her chest ever higher. Even if they did get their share of odd or hostile looks for the scene they caused from other students, they didn’t care; they were happy, and that was far more rare than it should’ve been.