Liliana woke up the next morning to sunlight burning the lids of her eyes once more. She grumbled and turned over, trying to hide herself from the cursed daylight. It felt early, and the doctors would be in later to run their tests. She wanted to get more sleep before then.
“Lady Liliana, it's time to get up,” a voice called out. At first, both unfamiliar and achingly loved all at once.
Come on, I just found out my soul was put into the body of a villainess destined to live a lonely, loveless life until she dies. Couldn’t you let me sleep for another hour or so?
The memories from the past...day? Hit her all at once and a flood of emotions hit her without mercy. Panic was strongest, filling her veins with it, speeding her heart up and constricting her lungs. She was in a strange world, in someone else's body. She couldn’t even remember her name. She was expected to save this world from something, a task granted to her by some Goddess who obviously didn’t care much for a mortal’s mental wellbeing. The little ‘family time’ she’d had with the Duchess the day before only heaped more panic on top of it all. It was too much. The shock from yesterday had held the panic at bay but now it had returned with a vengeance, unlocked from its constraints it rampaged through her.
“Liliana, can you follow my breathing?” A voice pierced through the panic clogging her throat like poisoned honey, filling her lungs until she couldn’t get air in. Her mind latched onto the voice, her body reacting to it instinctively. Her body knew this voice, trusted and loved it more than anything in this world. It gave her an anchor that she desperately needed in the storm of her own mind.
A hand tapped on her chest, a slow rhythm that she focused on. Slowly, Liliana could feel her lungs expanding more, deep breaths full of precious air filling her. As her breathing came under control, Liliana became aware of her surroundings. She was in the bed she’d woken up in yesterday, with its plush comforters made of a soft fabric that was obviously expensive yet seemed worn. She could see now as she looked at them places they’d been carefully patched, almost invisible yet her eyes locked onto the stitching.
“There you go, my flower,” a voice hummed, low and comforting.
A hand came up, rough and calloused from years of hard work yet so warm, and wiped at her face. She realized belatedly that her face was covered in tears and snot that Astrid cleaned without a complaint. Her body still shook occasionally with left over sobs and her hands were shaking weakly where they’d clenched into the woman's apron. She’d grabbed onto her as if she was the only thing keeping her head above water, and maybe she was.
“You haven’t had a fit of hysterics like that in a while, my lady, though under the circumstances it’s understandable,” Astrid’s warm voice soothed her more and Liliana nodded along.
She winced a bit at the term hysterics. It was an ancient and misogynistic way of referring to when a woman had a panic attack. She had panic attacks before, in the hospital. When it was dark and she was alone and she couldn’t always push the swirling emotions away entirely. Often a nurse would be drawn to her room by her heart monitor picking up, and they’d sit with her and help her calm down. She knew how to calm herself down, yet it had been so long and she hadn't dealt with emotions like that in equally as long that they’d taken control of her completely, her mind trapped in the vortex.
This is all too much. Couldn’t I have had a demo run or something instead? Or you know, been put into the body of some NPC or one of the heroes? Vita, I fucking hate you. No amount of broken OP buffs is going to make up for this, dammit. Liliana could feel the anger, still fresh and potent, directed at the Goddess that had stuck her in this twisted fate. It scratched uncomfortably through her. She felt shaky, weak, and rubbed raw by the unleashed emotions scraping every part of her with sharp claws. So even if a guilty part of her knew this wasn’t her comfort to seek, she curled deeper into Astrid's embrace, letting the warm love she felt for the woman soothe the ache inside her heart and soul. It might not be her love, but it helped nonetheless.
“There, there,” Astrid murmured, stroking her hair as she let Liliana come down from the panic. A few minutes later, when Liliana had stopped shaking, the woman carefully disentangled from her. Liliana shivered and pulled blankets around her, feeling so cold without the comforting presence of the other woman. Yet within moments she was back and sat behind Liliana, dragging a brush gently through the thick waves of her hair.
Liliana almost cried again. She hadn’t appreciated it the day before but she hadn’t had hair for so long. It had been one of the things she missed most on Earth. She had always loved her hair and having cancer strip it from her had hurt. Feeling a brush drag through the thick and long waves of her hair felt like a miracle, a gift from the gods. Which, in a way, it was.
Liliana melted under Astrid’s tender ministrations. The woman’s fingers were deft, and any tangles were handled without a single pinch of pain. When she was done, Liliana pulled the hair forward eagerly, her fingers slipping through the silk-like strands. She marveled at the luster of the locks in the sunlight, her hair was black, but in the light, she could see the vibrant blue tones that shimmered through the strands.
“Let's get you some breakfast and then we’ll get you bathed and dressed. After that, we can take a small walk to the garden and get you some fresh air,” Astrid decided.
When Liliana had been fed, washed to an inch of her life, and then coated in oils and lotions until she felt like a very seasoned thanksgiving turkey, she stood before Astrid in this world version of undergarments. Being manhandled in the bath had been familiar and foreign all at once. The nurses at the hospital had often bathed her once she got too weak to handle the task on her own. Yet they’d been rough and clinical in their ministrations, and they certainly had never taken the time to coat her in soft lotions and oils afterwards. Still, her time in the hospital had well prepared her for such invasive experiences. She’d rather go through being bathed a million times than have another catheter inserted.
Liliana was waiting in the middle of her room in the rather large, and strange, undergarments she’d been dressed in as Astrid rummaged through what she presumed to be her closet. The part of her that had always loved playing dress-up in princess costumes and her mother’s dressers was urging her to inch forward and examine the plethora of garments she saw and Liliana couldn’t stop herself from leaning forward to get a better look as Astrid compared different gowns. Some were far more extravagant than anything she had owned before. She had always been more partial to pants and t-shirts or simple dresses in her last life. Other dresses looked more simple, though all looked to have more fabric than anything she’d ever owned before.
Astrid emerged from the closet carrying one of the more ‘simple’ dresses, a light periwinkle blue. Liliana’s mind informed her it was a tea dress, something typically worn only around one's home as they didn’t need corsets, though recent fashion trends had them appearing in other settings as well, though it was very new. Liliana breathed a small sigh of relief. She had been afraid she’d be put into a corset or something. Liliana wasn't too sure what the clothes were like here. She knew what the two playable female characters wore, but those were given or bought as outfits. She had no idea what was under them! Also, once they got to the Academy, the clothing changed a bit on account of the uniforms.
Astrid quickly dressed her in the dress, Liliana needing to do nothing more than raise her arms a few times, thankfully. As simple as the dress might appear, it was certainly more complicated than anything from her previous life. If Liliana had to dress on her own, she’d undoubtedly get herself tangled beyond redemption.
Liliana looked down at the dress. It was ruffled and made her feel for a moment like some kind of fairy princess. Her hands trailed over the fabric, marveling at the lace that decorated it. She knew this was a simple dress, yet it was still far more ornate than any clothes she’d owned before. She had an almost overpowering urge to twirl around in the dress, though she contained it, if barely.
Dressed, she was directed to a seat in front of a vanity covered in pots and bottles that she assumed held cosmetics and perfumes. Liliana wanted to reach out and play with them, memories of how she’d sit in her mothers lap, her real mother not Liliana’s, and watch her do her makeup rising. Her mother would often let her play with makeup she no longer used and she could remember painting her face with a multitude of colors that only a parent would ever call artwork. She resisted the urge to reach out as she sat and met the sapphire blue eyes in the mirror.
It was still so odd to look into the mirror and see a stranger. Every feature was familiar and alien. She’d seen Liliana in the game many times, yet it was different in person. Different being her. No game could ever really catch the way her eyes glittered in the sunlight, just like the gemstones they so resembled. Or the way they darkened like storm clouds obscuring a blue sky as her mood took a dour turn. The game couldn’t properly show how her skin glowed lightly, despite her recent illness, as if Liliana had an inner fire that wouldn’t be contained. They had never fully shown how the blue in her hair was so vivid as it danced across the strands in the sunlight that bathed her.
Astrid grabbed combs and ribbons and set to work, turning the thick waterfall of hair into a ladylike style as Liliana was mesmerized by her own reflection. A slender hand tipped with delicate and long fingers, pianist fingers her mother would say, rose to press against the skin of her cheek lightly. They lightly grazed the prominent cheekbones that were just shy of being too sharp. They trailed down to her lips, a dark pink despite the fact that no cosmetics had been used yet.
Her skin was clear as well, something she noted with a tinge of jealousy. At fourteen in her past life, she’d had to deal with acne born not just of her age but the treatments she’d undergone. Liliana seemed to have been spared such unpleasantness, along with a face that held a cold kind of beauty, one that could so easily become a cruel beauty.
She dropped her hand from her face as Astrid finished her work. A more elaborate braid than Liliana ever had hoped to recreate now hung behind her, the hair on top piled a bit. Astrid pulled out a hat that Liliana hadn’t seen her grab. It was wide and matched her dress in color with feathers on top of it. This all seemed like quite a lot to just go walk in a garden, yet she knew that it was necessary. It would be improper for her to go out in anything less than this. She was just lucky that tea dresses were appropriate wear and she would not yet be submitted to being laced in a corset.
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Still, it was odd to her modern sensibilities. Where, before the cancer, she’d been able to throw on a shirt, some pants and a pair of flip-flops to play out in the yard. Here it was a multi-hour affair just to get ready to leave her room. Already Liliana felt a bit peckish for lunch as Astrid slid on her small heels, which felt horribly impractical, but the intrusive thoughts informed her was typical of noble lady footwear. Apparently, even the men wore heels!
They were finally ready as Astrid grabbed a parasol and Liliana froze for a moment when she realized as a lady she would need to lead the way to the gardens. It would be the height of impropriety for Astrid to lead her anywhere as a servant and a lower class than her.
She hesitantly stepped towards the door and opened it, revealing a sitting room. It was like her bedroom, full of obviously expensive furniture that had been worn down and used. Probably meant to be thrown away before they were ‘gifted’ to her.
After taking in the new environment, Liliana slowly made her way to the next door. Opening it, she looked down the halls in confusion until she felt a tug towards the right. She assumed the body remembered the path to the gardens, and she sighed in relief. Her entire cover would have been blown if she needed to ask for directions. She knew some of the manor from the game, but not all of it had been explorable, and Liliana’s rooms fell under that.
As her feet moved on their own, she looked over the walls, seeing the artistic wallpaper that was just shy of being gaudy. Paintings hung on the walls, showing off the wealth of their family. Landscapes, even a few portraits as they traversed to a larger hall. Liliana saw staff through the halls, all of them avoiding her eyes and curtsying or bowing.
Some part of her knew some servants didn’t curtsy or bow the depth necessary for someone of her rank. That same alien part of her held her tongue from calling out a greeting and her hand from raising a wave. Noble ladies didn’t call out in greeting to servants, they didn’t wave their hands. It was odd; in her previous life, it was normal to greet others. Yet in this life, such a thing would be a huge misstep that would bring up uncomfortable questions.
Liliana felt a shiver skitter down her spine, fear leaking into her veins. She might be in a fortified house, might be a nobleman's daughter, but she was not safe here. She hadn’t realized it when in her room, but now it was obvious. Nobles had a complicated web of rules they had to follow. A web the original Liliana would have known well, yet she herself did not. She thanked the goddess in her mind for letting her keep the memories of Liliana. Otherwise, she’d have been found out in minutes.
I’ve only seen a few servants and yet I’m already sweating with nerves. I hope I don’t run into any of Liliana’s family today. I don’t think I could handle that after yesterday. She thought as she turned yet another corner into another hallway. They were becoming more familiar to her though as she moved, paintings and decorations she could remember from the game. They were close to the garden, though she was already half tempted to turn around and go back to her room. Back to the relative safety she could find there, far from the eyes of others. The walk through the frankly ridiculously large house and the fear that still swam in her veins had tired her.
When she finally reached the doors to the garden, Liliana let out a sigh, a small feeling of pride in her chest. It was such a simple thing to others. She’d walked through a house. Wow! But she’d managed to keep any of the servants who’d seen her from realizing she wasn’t the same Liliana Rosengarde who had walked these halls a month ago.
You have met the Requirements for the General Skill [Deception] Would you like to accept this skill?
Ah, the System blesses me, Liliana thought wryly as she waited at the doors. Astrid would need to open them for her. The boxes didn’t take up her entire field of vision. In fact, she found it was less that she saw them, as she simply knew they were there and what they said. It was odd and her mind hurt if she tried to understand the how and the mechanics of it, so she left it be.
As Astrid opened the door for her and Liliana stepped out, she focused on the skill to get more information.
Deception: You are more adept at telling lies with both your words and actions, aiding you in making others believe what you wish for them to believe. Effect improved by higher Charisma.
Liliana accepted the skill quickly. Something like that would be imperative to her survival here. Unlike [Identify], this skill seemed to make subtle changes to her that she focused on as she moved, her body on auto-pilot as she walked through the gardens. It wasn’t drastic, more her body just seemed to know how to better move to fulfill her purpose of making anyone who saw her believe she was a noble lady.
She found her walk smoothing a little, the frown she hadn’t noticed on her face vanishing under the skill's effects. She was sure the body she was in would’ve been able to tell her to do these things as well. Liliana was a noble, but she still wasn’t entirely sure how to consistently make her new body forthcoming with information. For now, [Deception] helped fill her gaps.
Liliana was satisfied and excited with the minuscule changes of the skill. This was the first skill she’d gotten that had made a noticeable change to her! It was incredible and made her think of what other skills she could get that might help her. Her first thought was combat abilities. Most of her experience with the game had been combat. She wondered how a skill like [Dagger Mastery] or some such skill would affect her ability to use it.
Would it be subtle, slowly improving her abilities over time? How would she improve it? What kind of effects did it have at higher levels? She knew in the game high levels of weapon mastery skills made the user deal higher damage, but in this world was it because it increased your knowledge or did the skill itself also improve damage on its own?
Her mind was running wild with questions again. She had so many and so little information. She felt a mourning for the Internet. The easy access to unlimited information would’ve been amazing right now. For now, she had to find the answers herself by examining the world she was in and perhaps finding some books that might shed more light on matters.
Maybe there's a ‘Manual for Souls Dragged From Another World’ in the library? Or a ‘Skills and the System for Dummies’? Liliana thought with an internal chuckle. She doubted it would be that easy.
Looking around the garden, Liliana spied a few gardeners working hard on the garden, keeping it beautiful through magic and hard labor. Even as she watched, one gardener touched a tree and flowers blossomed along its limbs. Her eyes trailed further and fear spiked through her. Far across the garden was Imogen, the Duchess, and walking with her was Alistair. They hadn’t spotted her yet and an overwhelming urge to flee like a rabbit before a fox filled her.
Liliana turned and darted away, cursing her new body as it forced her to keep her steps small and not to take the great strides her fear demanded. She heard Astrid call out behind her, but Liliana was certain the woman would have no trouble keeping up with her. Liliana kept throwing glances over her shoulder to check that the Duchess and her stepbrother hadn’t spotted her when her view was suddenly blocked by greenery. Liliana didn’t let this stop her and she let her body guide her steps further until she came to a stop, panting from the unexpected exertion.
Looking around, Liliana’s eyes widened as she realized she was deep in the gardens now. In fact, she was in the middle of the hedge maze she knew. It covered a good fourth of the garden in the game. She didn’t remember navigating it, so consumed by fear and the need to get away. In front of her was a large fountain, white marble carved in the form of a rearing unicorn, water spouting from the tip of its horn. The water itself had a light golden sheen to it not caused by the sun above them.
“My lady! Why did you make such haste? You should be taking better care of yourself!” Astrid had followed her and the woman’s face held a stern expression. Liliana ducked her head shyly, feeling shame welling up inside of her. For some reason, disappointing this woman made her feel almost sick. It was so odd to be around someone she both knew so very well, yet not at all.
“I got so excited to be in the garden, I apologize,” Liliana answered.
Some part of her urged her to keep quiet about her meeting the duchess the day before, and her running from the woman and her son just now. Had the original Liliana kept much of the abuse she suffered at the woman’s hands a secret from her maid? And the bullying from Alistair, too? A feeling, faint, seemed to push that it was somehow Liliana’s fault that the woman targeted her so, and it answered her question. Had the original Liliana thought she deserved such treatment? That wasn’t right. The duchess was an awful woman, and Liliana was a child. Liliana stamped the feeling out.
This world might change her, her new home might change her, the memories from the original Liliana might change her. But she would let nothing in this world or the last make her think for a moment she deserved to be mistreated. She hadn’t let such intrusive thoughts affect her in her past life, where thinking one had done something to deserve a terminal illness was common, and she wouldn’t start now. Fuck that.
“Well, I suppose I understand. But please, be careful with yourself, Lady Liliana. You’re still weak from your sickness, if you exhaust yourself it could take even longer to heal,” Astrid chastised her gently and Liliana nodded, still fighting with the feelings of fear, inadequacy, guilt and now shame from Astrid.
To distract herself, Liliana raised her head and took another look around the center of the maze she had gotten herself to.
Behind the fountain she’d seen sat a gazebo, made of delicate white metal that twined around elegant pillars in fanciful and beautifully intricate designs. The twisting metal converged at the top, the entire gazebo covered in panes of glass. Inside sat a table and chairs, all made of the same white metal with the same delicate designs. Liliana walked towards the gazebo, her legs informing her that they very much wanted to sit and she was certain if she didn’t heed them, she’d soon find herself on the ground. 100 Stamina truly was not much, it would seem. Astrid perhaps had a point about not exerting herself.
As she moved, she looked at the walls of greenery surrounding her. Roses bloomed on the walls, their floral scent filling the clearing. Liliana took a deep breath of the fragrance, tears popping into her eyes. Her mother’s favorite perfume was a rose scented one, and the smell reminded her of bittersweet memories from Earth.
The roses were white, matching the general theme of the clearing, and Liliana half expected to see card soldiers bursting in to paint them red. The inane thought was shoved aside even as a small smile graced her face at the image. It helped dry the tears that had tried to spill onto her face.
Liliana paused as she walked into the gazebo. The lighting was darker than outside, despite the glass walls and ceiling. It wasn’t dark enough to make it hard to see, but it gave a comfortable shade.
More magic. Its so common they use it for a gazebo and a fountain? Liliana marveled as she moved again, finally sitting down. She winced as her legs cried out in relief. Yes, Astrid certainly had a point. Weeks in a coma had led to a weakness in her muscles. Yet she welcomed the pain, because it was proof she had moved. She had walked all on her own. No one was there to help her, no wheelchair. More than the magic, that simple fact was by far the most marvelous to her. She had her agency back. No one would take that from her again.