Returning to the manor was filled with far less fanfare than Liliana thought it deserved. Silas and she arrived through the front, rather than sneaking back in. She had a cover she needed to follow, however little it would matter for much longer.
She knew her plans meant no one knew truly what she had done, knew what she was going to do. But such a momentous event should deserve something more than servants glancing away from her and guards nodding their heads, bored. No one knew that within her storage sat the smoking gun she needed to end this cursed game. No one here even knew the game that they were all playing in.
Liliana wondered if they’d know when it was all over. Would they all realize what had happened, truly? Would they pick at the strands of the web that had been wrapped around all of them? Following them to the tangled and twisted center where Imogen sat like a spider. Or would they all remain ignorant, willfully or otherwise?
Liliana frowned down in annoyance at the skirts of her dress as she dismounted. She’d had to put it on before they came back, Liliana slipping into the part of a proper noble daughter. It itched now, more than ever before. This mask was one she’d happily throw away when everything was said and done. As much as the corset restricted her movements and breath, so too did this mask seem to restrict her. Forcing her to follow rules that felt like they were slowly choking her.
Liliana waved a hand at the guards before she entered the manor, her eyes drawn to the sparkling decoration on her wrist. A soul stone that was tinted black and silver with streaks of blue shot through like highlights. She knew the observant among the guards and servants would see it, notice the silver in her hair. Would wonder, question, and gossip.
Liliana didn’t want to reveal her hand yet, though. So she let them ponder without answering the unasked questions as she followed familiar paths to her room. It was late, night having fallen. It meant Liliana was unlikely to run across anyone, which was best. She had precious little time left before the Inquisitors came and she’d need every last second to get the final pieces in play. Not stopping to even sleep meant they had come back in four and a half days, leaving her just over two to get everything ready.
Liliana was exhausted. She’d had to resort to tying herself to the saddle so she wouldn’t fall off and so she could steal a few hours of sleep here or there, but it was never enough. Her body begged for sleep, but she denied it as she opened the door to her room. She didn’t have time to sleep. She’d sleep when it was all over. Liliana froze for a moment as she stood on the threshold of her room. It was dark inside, no fire lit and bone-chillingly cold. Memories crashed into her, of the hundreds of times she’d opened these doors before, to see a roaring fire in the hearth and Astrid sitting in her favorite chair, sewing, knitting, or working on some project or another. She’d turn every time Liliana opened the door and smile at her. Wide and relieved and so full of love it would make Liliana’s heart ache in the best kind of way.
Now the room sat empty and dark. Astrid’s favorite chair was barren. It was cleaner than before, when half the furniture had been demolished by either the guards or her tames. Somehow Astrid’s chair had survived and now it sat alone, in the same place it had always been. Liliana felt her breath catch in her throat and a sound, half whine, half sob, choked out of her mouth.
Astrid would never again greet Liliana after a trip. Never again would Astrid wait and worry for her to return home. Never again would she see Astrid’s warm, love filled smile. She would never fall into Astrid’s arms when the world got to be too much for Liliana to handle on her own.
A warm, heavy hand dropped onto Liliana’s shoulder, and she didn’t have to look to know who it was. Her eyes closed, and she felt her body shake, from exhaustion or from despair she wasn’t sure. Both emotions had mixed so fully in her she could no longer tell where one began and the other ended.
“She’s gone,” Liliana whispered, words full of far too much pain for how quiet they were.
“Yes,” Silas confirmed, and his own voice was filled with that same pain.
Liliana turned and threw herself into Silas’ body. The man’s arms wrapped around her, far less hesitant that they’d been the first time. His hug wasn’t the same as Astrid’s, didn’t heal all the pain digging in her chest like acid coated barbed wire. But it was warm, it held love, and it made her feel safe. It wasn’t what she wanted, what she needed, but it was enough.
Silas held her tightly as time passed around them. Both standing in the threshold of her rooms, as if there was a barrier blocking them from entering. Liliana could feel tears falling, hear her pitiful sobs as she buried her face deep into Silas’ chest, but Silas didn’t complain. Even when she knew she was ruining his shirt with her tears and snot, he didn’t push her off, just kept his arms tight around her, offering her the comfort she needed and the safety she desperately craved.
Liliana pulled back when the sobs faded and her tears ran dry. She rubbed at her face, sniffling weakly as she tried to clear her tear swollen and exhaustion heavy eyes. She looked up at Silas and saw pain carved deep into his skin, adding lines to a face that had once seemed timeless to her. But she could see care warming his eyes, even as grief still swirled in them.
“She’s gone, but we’re not,” Silas told her, his gruff voice holding a hidden message as it so often did.
Liliana nodded, feeling that hate and rage that had been forged into a weapon inside of her, filling her body with determination. He was right. Astrid was gone, and nothing she did would ever change that. But Liliana was still here. She was still alive, and able to make a change. Able to get the revenge that was long overdue.
“Okay,” Liliana said, her voice hoarse but stronger than it had been.
She nodded her head again decisively before turning and taking a deep breath. First one foot, then another, and she crossed the threshold into her room. Liliana tried to not look at the floor, tried not to see Astrid’s cold body lying there, tried not to let memories of that day take over her mind. It was hard, nearly impossible, and Liliana ran more than walked to her bedroom, fleeing memories and ghosts that haunted her sitting room.
When Liliana entered her bedroom, she breathed a sigh of relief, glad she hadn’t been dragged back to that day. She could feel it hovering at the edges of her mind, the grief and flashbacks. Ready to grab her and pull her back under crashing black waves until she hit the bottom and drowned in her depression and guilt. But she couldn’t let it. Not now. She had revenge to get, lives to ruin.
Maybe when it was all over, she would finally let herself grieve, truly grieve and surrender to the pain. For now, though, she shoved those painful feelings down deep, locking them in a weak box so she could focus on what had to be done.
“What can I do?” Silas asked from behind her and Liliana wasn’t surprised. She thought perhaps besides his care, there was the fear of returning to his empty home. Where he’d be left alone, surrounded by the pain and memories that always seemed to lurk in the dark.
“Guard my room. I don’t want anyone coming in unless it’s Emyr. And I need you to deliver something to my father. No one else can see it,” Liliana stated, slipping into the cold, calculated mindset that had steered her so well these past weeks.
Stolen novel; please report.
She walked to her desk, noting that her bedroom had been cleaned as well. Her bedframe had been repaired from when Lelantos had broken it by lying on it. As she sat down, she wrote out a simple note. She couldn’t have her father summoning her right now. Once she started, she couldn’t afford to be taken away from her plans. Even a single second lost could be catastrophic.
Rank 4.
Liliana was ready to send it off when she paused and stood. She moved to her vanity and rifled through her jewelry box. She snorted when she saw that some things had been stolen. Small trinkets, earrings, rings. Worth more than some of the servants probably made in six months. She moved back to her desk and wrote a second line.
There are thieves among the servants you sent me.
Liliana handed the note to Silas and stood once more as he left. She shook her head when she wondered who had been so dumb as to steal from her. Perhaps they thought her father did not favor her enough to care if her things were taken, or perhaps they thought her too weak and shy to bring up such things. They’d be wrong on both counts, especially now. Her father would want to please her, now that she’d secured herself as his golden goose. A Rank 7 having a Rank 4 Bond? Unheard of. Unfathomable. Impossible.
Sometimes Liliana forgot her own level, her strength was beyond that of others on the same level and her Bonds sometimes gave her a skewed idea of her own strength. It’d been so long since she’d had a chance to level, too. She knew that was normal, but she’d felt like she’d spent most of her time fighting something. To have gone so long without a fight left her feeling jumpy.
Perhaps once this was done, she could go out. Her father had her signed up for that dungeon, she could level there. She still had another Rank to jump up to. She wanted to get to Rank 6 by the time she got to the Academy. Though whatever she wanted to prove via strength was unnecessary, considering her Bonds. But what if she was without them for some reason? Liliana didn’t relish being weak, being protected. All the protection in the manor hadn’t saved Astrid. It wouldn’t save her either.
She loved her Bonds, trusted them with her life, her innermost thoughts, her soul. But she knew at the end of the day the only person who she could really depend on when it came down to it was herself. Having Bonds hadn’t stopped an assassin from nearly killing her. No, only the power offered by a dark entity had done that. And she wouldn't have that fall back ever again. No matter how tempting it was.
I could kill Imogen tonight. Right this second. And my father, all in one fell swoop. A dark voice whispered to Liliana. and a part of her wanted to accept that offer. Wanted to end this entire thing right now. No more plots, no more plans, no more pain. Just blood on her hands and vengeance achieved.
An image filled her mind. So realistic it felt more like a fresh memory rather than the product of an overactive imagination, it played out before her mind’s eye.
Liliana summoned the pendant from the ring it had been stored in and placed it around her neck.
‘I’m ready to make a deal,’ she spoke out, her voice so cold, so empty of anything but hate and rage.
‘I knew you’d call to me. You’re so dark and twisted inside. This was inevitable. You finally stopped denying who you really are.’ The voice slithered through her ears and into her mind. Liliana shuddered as she felt the being all around her, seeing the dark power pouring out of the pendant and surrounding her.
‘What do you ask of me?’ the voice asked her.
‘Vengeance. Kill my stepmother and father,’ she said, her voice almost cracking under the weight of the hate she placed on every single word.
‘My price is access and a favor. After you achieve your revenge, you will let me have control of your body for twenty-four hours. After that I will ask you for a favor one day, no matter the request you will fulfil it whatever is asked of you.’ the voice told her and Liliana nodded without hesitation.
‘I agree,’ she spoke and as the last syllable left her lips, power flooded in, filling her until she thought she’d explode.
That familiar feeling of pain and ecstasy turned her mind white, no thoughts available as her body vibrated with the power it barely could contain. Liliana wasn’t sure if she screamed or not. The sensation leveled out as the power stopped flooding her body and she blinked, able to see once more now that her sense weren’t scrambled. The entity had left her in control of her body this time, and she grinned as she held out a hand, flexing her fist. She could almost see the power surging under her skin.
‘Liliana?’ a voice called out, hesitant and with a tinge of fear. Her head whipped around, and her eyes pinned Emyr to the spot as he looked at her. Liliana knew the power of filling her must have some kind of effect on her appearance because Emyr’s eyes were filling with fear the longer he looked at her.
‘W-Wh-What are you doing?” Emyr asked, his voice weak. Liliana had never seen him so scared before. Even when they faced Nemesis, he hadn’t been this terrified. And Liliana found she… liked his fear. Enjoyed how it tasted on her tongue.
‘I’m ending this right now. They thought me weak, thought they could hurt me again and again with no repercussions. I’ll show them what happens when you push someone too far.’ Liliana’s voice was awful to hear, both male and female at once, high and low and twisted. It hurt the ears and Emyr winced. Fear was rolling off him in waves now, but Liliana watched his spine straighten.
‘I won’t let you do this,’ Emyr told her, determination mixing with the fear in his voice.
‘You can’t stop me,’ Liliana informed him, voice holding no emotion. She was stating a simple fact.
Emyr didn’t respond, just rushed at her, summoning shadows and fire as he went. Liliana held up a hand, and his body was thrown back into a wall. She heard bones breaking as he cried out in pain. Liliana walked to him slowly, like a hunter stalking its prey. She stopped when her outstretched hand wrapped around his throat. Fire and shadows lashed out at her ineffectually. Her hand flexed slightly around his throat and she noted how weak his flesh felt.
It would be so easy. So easy to kill him.
She could….
Liliana shook herself out of the too vivid day dream, stumbling as horror filled her. Her stomach rolled, and she barely grabbed the rubbish bin in time to catch the vomit that came out of her as she tried to expel the feelings within her. She heaved until there was nothing left in her stomach and still her body tried to rid itself of the horror that had turned her blood to acid in her veins, burning her with the possibility of what she could’ve become. When her heaving stopped, Liliana wiped her mouth and sat back.
She ripped the ring off her finger and summoned Polaris. Liliana tossed the ring to the fox, and he caught it easily in his mouth. She didn’t need to speak. He saw the daydream in her mind, knew what she wanted. It was for the best, as she didn’t think she could talk right now, anyway. Her throat burned painfully, and she doubted she’d get anything past it. He knew she wanted that ring far from her, hidden somewhere no one would ever find it. And he knew she wanted him to hide the location from her, so she could never be tempted by it again. The risk was too great and truthfully; she didn’t trust herself.
‘I’ll return in time for the plan,’ Polaris promised her as he walked to the doors to the courtyard and, with help from some wind, he opened them, jumping into the night sky where his form quickly disappeared.
Vita, or whichever god sent that. And the dreams. Thank you. Liliana let off a mental prayer. The daydream had been a bit too vivid, a bit too real, to have simply been something birthed by her mind. It held the same feeling as her dreams from when she wore the pendant, though she couldn’t remember those too well. She remembered how they made her feel. And already she could feel the specifics of the daydream fading. It was obvious meddling, and Liliana would be more angry if she wasn’t so grateful that whoever had sent them had stopped her from becoming that.
Liliana stood, shaking off the vestiges of the daydream, though the horror lingered. She’d never become that, not now that the pendant was gone. And she didn’t have time to let the horror take over her again.
She had to begin the last phase of her plans.