“I hate it here,” Liliana groaned as she emerged from the dungeon, looking bedraggled and exhausted as she hung onto her naginata for dear life, using it as a walking stick to prop her abused body up.
“You wouldn’t be doing so badly if you’d slept once in the dungeon.” Emyr sighed behind her.
“I could feel their creepy little legs on my skin every time I closed my eyes, Emyr! How could I sleep with that?!” Liliana hissed, shooting a glare at her friend, who raised his hands in surrender, shrugging his shoulders though his lips were tilted in an entertained smirk as he regarded her.
By and far, her party was doing better than her, though all of them would need to have their equipment repaired. None of them had the dark circles under their eyes and twitching skin she sported, and her closer friends regarded her with ill-hidden amusement as they finally left the cursed dungeon.
How did I forget that this dungeon was a Centipede dungeon? I didn’t bother to consider it before, not with the stress of the Academy taking up most of my mind, but really. My memories are supposed to be divinely protected. Did I suppress it like some kind of incredibly traumatic memory? Liliana thought as she sat down with a sigh outside the dungeon, body going weak the second she no longer had the fear of Centipedes crawling out of the ground to harass her. She tilted her head back and closed her eyes as the rest of her group stood or sat around, waiting for the instructors to emerge with their grades.
No. I’m sure I didn’t forget. Did the dungeon change? I know the butterfly effect is a thing, or maybe I can call it the Centipede effect in this case, and I’ve quite obviously changed a lot of the original plot of the game. Liliana thought as her eyes opened into slits as her gaze bounced between the faces she’d come to know even better than she had when she’d played the game so many times she could recite the cut-scenes word for word from memory.
All of them undeniable proof of what she’d changed so far, even if she disregarded herself which was the biggest change to the plot so far. Then again, she wouldn’t be doing her divinely given, forced, job of changing the fate of the world if she didn’t, well, change some fates around.
The first year dungeon was a Dire-bear dungeon the first time. I’m sure of it, and my memories haven’t been so vastly wrong before, not without there being some obvious effort on my part or logical cause-and-effect instances. Liliana closed her eyes, face scrunching up as she forced her exhausted mind to function and examine the events she’d changed, and the possible effects they could’ve had on a first year Academy dungeon.
The instructors didn’t seem surprised by the dungeon, meaning they were aware of the swap. Whenever it happened. If it happened. So that leaves something as powerful as a god, or a god themselves, manipulating my memories. Or the change happening before I even came here, which is odd in itself, but Dire-bears and Centipedes have similar affinities, so an adjacent switch wouldn’t be completely irregular for a dungeon to do, if it had sufficient Mana. Liliana thought, tilting her head with a bone-tired sigh. She could practically feel her brain smoking as she thought.
Or it means the instructors were informed of the change ahead of time. A Rank 1 beast has almost omnipotent power in their domain, akin to that of a god themselves. In theory, the Headmistress could change the dungeons at will. But why would she? Liliana groaned softly and buried her head in her hands, massaging at her scalp with her fingers as the different possibilities raced through her mind.
This world was so much easier to deal with when everything proceeded according to the original storyline. Liliana thought with grim amusement, but that would mean I’d still be a villainess and forced to suffer years more abuse before I got free and eventually fell to darkness and tried to destroy this country. Liliana wanted to scream in frustration borne of a lack of sleep and forced acclimation to her phobia on top of suddenly feeling like nothing made sense. As if someone had just informed her the sky was brown, and it, in fact, was.
I really can’t depend on those memories anymore, can I? Too much is different. They saved my life more times than I can count early on, but now they’re nothing more than a dangerous hindrance at best if I try to use them as some sort of holy document, incapable of deviating despite the evidence to the contrary. A wry smile twisted her lips as Liliana shook her head, still deep in her thoughts as she adjusted her very worldview.
I guess on some level I knew that. I haven’t been using them as a crutch for a long time now. But this almost feels like an official goodbye. As if I’m truly letting go of who I used to be, and accepting that the me I am now, Liliana Rosengarde, is who I really am. Liliana thought, surprised to feel her heart aching and tears stinging her eyes at the thought.
Perhaps I’m sad because I’m the only person alive in this world who will ever mourn that poor, sick girl from Earth who only ever found an escape from her failing body inside the world of games and stories. And now she’s facing her final death.
They say your first death is when you breathe your last breath, your second is when someone says your name for the last time and your third, and final death is when the last memory of you fades away. I already faced my first two deaths, but the final death will be when I, too, pass from this world whenever that may be.
Perhaps this is a type of middle death, when I accept that the life I lived before is no more, that the girl I was is truly, and utterly gone and all my ties to that life, even these memories that were supposed to guide me, have no further use or relevance to me. Liliana dug the heels of her hands into her eyes to rid herself of the treacherous tears that were filling them.
It was useless to cry for herself now, when she had died so long ago, when she was still alive. And yet her heart ached and stung as if she was saying goodbye to a dear friend, a feeling reminiscent of when she’d finish a story that had truly captivated her and she had to say goodbye to the characters who had led her through so many wondrousness adventures.
“Lili? Are you alright?” a voice called out and Liliana lifted her hands away to look at Marianne, who was bent over, her curly, white hair hanging like a curtain as she tilted her head to look at Liliana’s face, her ruby eyes brimming with concern and care.
Alistair was standing slightly behind her, looking towards Liliana with worry and love on his face. Emyr was a brooding shadow next to him, but even his impassive face couldn’t hide the love and disquietude in his eyes.
Beyond the trio were Basil and Anya, looking at her with troubled expressions, attention drawn by the hot tears Liliana could feel wetting her cheeks. Even Koth’talan was looking at her with unease, body shifted slightly as if blocking her from the rest of their group and the professors.
I suppose. It’s not so bad to say goodbye to old ghosts, when I have so much to be grateful for, to live for, in this life. Liliana thought, as a soft smile blossomed on her face.
“I’m just tired, that’s all.” Liliana said to her friends, her family, the people who reminded her every day that fate wasn’t what was written by some game designer or god, but what you made for yourself. She wiped the wetness from her skin and said a final, silent goodbye to the sick girl who died in a hospital bed.
“Well, of course you are! You didn’t sleep at all!” Marianne nagged as she sat next to Liliana, scowling at her friend but leaning on Liliana in a way that made her scolding have far less weight than the princess intended.
“You coddle her so much. When I broke my leg, you hit me with your scythe and threatened to cut it off!” Anya whined, flopping down and laying across Liliana’s lap like the overgrown puppy she was.
“Well, of course. I’d never threaten to hurt or seriously maim Lili!” Marianne said, wrapping her arms around Liliana and pulling Liliana towards her like a teddy bear to cuddle.
Is this what female leads feel like in romance novels? Liliana wondered sarcastic amusement, and a beleaguered sigh as she let the princess manhandle her. It was far easier to just let Marianne do whatever she pleased than to deal with her pouting if Liliana tried to pull away.
“I’m not a baby, Mari.” Liliana informed her friend with a groan as Marianne set to patting her hair, her hands glowing suspiciously as the princess undoubtedly cast healing spells on her. Mangle your arm one time in front of her and the princess acted like you were prone to accidents and bound to die if you weren’t healed every few minutes.
“No, you’re my best friend, Lili, and so I have to take care of you.” Marianne told her in a huff, muttering something that sounded like “Gods know you won’t do it yourself,” under her breath.
“Don’t you have a status sheet to check over?” Liliana asked, pointedly using her fingers to pull up her own as a hint to the princess.
They’d all been checking them during their rests, but Liliana had feared the visual distraction would allow a Centipede to sneak up on her and had been mostly ignoring her notifications and sheets in favor of constant vigilance.
As soon as she acknowledged the notifications, she jerked back as a veritable flood swamped her vision. Even with their see-through nature, the sheer volume of notifications rendered her blind.
Liliana let out a yelp as her eyes were assaulted with numbers and exclamation points, announcing skill, spell and general skill level-ups, experience gains and even her own level-ups and class given stats.
Liliana frantically swiped them away as soon as they popped up, just wanting to get rid of them, but the waterfall of system notifications kept coming until she felt herself becoming dizzy and mildly motion sick from the constant moving images in her vision. It was like the System was purposefully punishing her for ignoring it. Was it sentient? Did it have feelings? Was it upset she hadn’t looked at the notifications it had sent her? Gods, she would apologize to it if it would just stop.
“Mari… please use an anti-nausea spell on me.” Liliana murmured faintly, feeling her stomach twisting as her lunch threatened to make a hasty and very unwelcome exit back the way it had come.
“Do not tell me you’re suffering from notification-sickness.” Emyr’s voice growled from nearby. Liliana wasn’t sure exactly where from, as her vision was still entirely taken up by multiplying boxes.
They’re breeding like rabbits! Liliana thought, a touch of mania coloring the words in her head.
“Then I won’t tell you I’m suffering from notification-sickness.” Liliana responded sarcastically.
She might feel like her head was going to explode into a puddle of numbers and purple boxes, but she didn’t have to lose her snark, too. She’d sass until the day she died.
Hopefully, this wouldn’t be her cause of death. What a pathetic headstone that would make.
“Oh, Lili…” Marianne said softly, and Liliana could feel the princess shaking her head in disappointment, but she pressed a hand against her. Within seconds, the nausea and growing migraine faded.
“Did you not check your notifications once in the dungeon?” Alistair asked, voice equal parts amused and worried.
“I had to be vigilant! In case those Centipedes snuck up on me!” Liliana whined pathetically as the deluge of notifications finally ceased and she could see again.
“Oh, my dear brother! I almost forgot your face!” Liliana cried to Alistair, who was sitting in front of her now.
“Over-dramatic,” Emyr scoffed.
“I learned it from you,” Liliana replied, entirely deadpan as she stared at her friend, who turned his head away from her, his skin darkening.
“Now, if you’re done mocking me for my entirely rational fears and reactions, I’ll be checking my sheets,” Liliana harrumphed as she finally did what she’d been intending to before the System cruelly assaulted her for ghosting it for two and a half days.
Status Sheet
Name
Liliana Rosengarde
Age
14
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Level
121
Class
Beast Souled Blade Dancer
Race
Human
Rank
6
Health
1,620
H-Regen
+16.2/1.1sec
Mana
3,130
M-Regen
+24.5/1.1sec
Stamina
8,090
S-Regen
+80.9/1.1sec
Magic Power
4,794
Magic Control
4,526
Experience: 439,799/1,488,400
Vitality
162
Endurance
845
Strength
421
Dexterity
834
Wisdom
313
Intelligence
245
Speed
889
Charisma
728
Unallocated Stat Points: 21
Three levels, huh? Not bad. I’d be disappointed if I didn’t get at least this much, with my 50% boon and the dungeons 68% bonus on top of it. Everyone else probably got a level then, so I should adjust the level I appear to others with [Deception] accordingly. Liliana nodded approvingly at the level increases, more than slightly pleased to finally level after so long without.
I can’t wait to Rank up so my level locked skills can finally progress. And let’s put those points, hm, let’s say 15 into Intelligence and 6 into Wisdom? I was planning on focusing my stat points from levels solely into those stats so I could catch up to where I should be for the build I want. How pathetic that the transmigrator with godly knowledge of the game fell into the damn min-maxing trap. I’m still disappointed in myself for that. At least I caught it early before I got too far in my levels. 121 is still relatively low-leveled in comparison to the max-level of this world.
Liliana sighed as she assigned the points, pausing for a moment when she looked at her sad, neglected Vitality stat. She could almost hear it, begging for points like a street urchin begging for food. ‘Some points, sir? Please? I’m going to starve to death!’
Nah, that’s my dump stat. I’ll just get some gear later to rectify it, besides if I waste my points on it, I can’t devote enough to Wis and Int to really matter. It’ll just have to suffer being starved. I should do more training while dodging, thinking of my low Vit. That fight with Allencourt showed a weakness I need to rectify. I should start training with my eyes covered so I can figure out how to use my other senses. Yeah. That’s far more effective than putting stats in Vitality. Liliana finalized her point distribution with a shrug and a smile.
She’d figure out a way to compensate for her weakness, but the rest of her stats would be balanced enough to make up for it without being too much of a jack-of-all-trades and suffer for it. There were sadly drawbacks to every possible build when it came to stats, it was just a matter of which risk one viewed as worth the trade.
Besides, I’m no longer working on the assumption that I need to travel this road alone anymore. I don’t have to compensate for an entire team when I have one already that I trust to stand with me through everything. Liliana thought, looking at her friends as they talked around her, laughing and comparing gains from the dungeon.
She had her friends, who more than compensated for any weakness she had or would have, and she had her bonds who filled in all her faults in her build. She knew ignoring a stat almost entirely wasn’t always the wisest thing if one was going solo, but… she wasn’t. Was she?
What a difference two years can make. Liliana thought fondly.
Two years ago she was certain she’d be facing this world alone, and that Liliana would have blanched at her stat distribution, panicking over how she’d compensate for such weaknesses. But now she could choose a build that she honestly enjoyed, and fit her best, rather than something built purely out of need. She didn’t need to compromise what she wanted for what was needed. Not when others were there to fill in those gaps for her, willingly, happily, without ever being asked. Liliana shook her head slightly as she turned to her skill sheet.
Affinity
Light
92%
Soul
94%
Life
86%
Illusion
31%
Wind
28%
Psyche
26%
Astral
15%
Telekinesis
14%
Quintessential Skills
[Radiant Revelry] Lvl 5
[Aspect Of The Beast] Lvl 10
Skills
[Identify] Lvl 125
[Dodge] Lvl 125
[Leap] Lvl 125
[Solar Samba] Lvl 125
[Dance of The Windsong] Lvl 125
[War Maiden’s Waltz] Lvl 124
[Regeneration] Lvl 118
[Stealth] Lvl 113
[Pierce] Lvl 113
[Mana Manipulation] Lvl 110
[Dance Of The Tiger] Lvl 110
[Dance Of The Fox] Lvl 108
[Dance of The Serpent] Lvl 107
[Persistent Casting] Lvl 103
[Dance Of The Vanishing Blade] Lvl 100
[Borrow] Lvl 95
[Battle Clarity] Lvl 72
[Wind Manipulation] Lvl 60
[Temperance] Lvl 28
[Pathokinesis] Lvl 24
[Mental Fortification] Lvl 22
[Telepathy] Lvl 21
[Last Stand] Lvl 12
General Skills
[Polearms Mastery] Lvl 125
[Dancing] Lvl 125
[Deception] Lvl 125
[Dagger Mastery] Lvl 125
[Perception] Lvl 120
[Animal Husbandry] Lvl 119
[Alchemy] Lvl 119
[Skinning] Lvl 112
[Dual Wielding] Lvl 112
[Mounted Combat] Lvl 109
[Herbalisim] Lvl 108
[Acrobatics] Lvl 103
[Pain Resistance] Lvl 101
[Reading] Lvl 99
[Writing] Lvl 98
[Persuasion] Lvl 98
[Poison Resistance] Lvl 93
[Time Keeper] Lvl 83
[Riding] Lvl 81
[Mathematics] Lvl 79
[Night Vision] Lvl 75
[Etiquette] Lvl 70
[Multitasking] Lvl 69
[Wilderness Survival] Lvl 64
[Embroidery] Level 50
[Hand To Hand Combat] Lvl 36
[Mentiumancy] Lvl 35
[Recall] Lvl 25
[Resist Cold] Lvl 21
[Fear Resistance] Lvl 4
Spells
[Radiant Edge] Lvl 125
[Radiant Ignition] Lvl 125
[Dance of The Heaven’s Domain] Lvl 125
[Gatling Barrage] Lvl 125
[Windwalk] Lvl 123
[Soul Strike] Lvl 120
[Shine] Lvl 113
[Wind Surge] Lvl 103
[March of Madness] Lvl 99
[Invisibility] Lvl 95
[Gale] Lvl 95
[Healing Harmony] Lvl 91
[Barrier] Lvl 85
[Dance of The Tempest] Lvl 81
[Companion Heal] Lvl 80
[Threads of Control] Lvl 77
[Empathy] Lvl 72
[Astral Projection] Lvl 68
[Cleanse] Lvl 68
[Wind Blade] Lvl 60
[Soul Slash] Lvl 49
[Shove] Lvl 41
[Adjust] Lvl 41
[Bonding Contract] Lvl 34
How… how is [Cleanse] the spell that grew the most out of all my spells, skills and general skills?! Liliana thought, going over the information several times to verify that yes, [Cleanse] had in fact gained 7 levels in the dungeon.
Guess… that’s what happens when you obsessively use it several times after every single fight and then multiple times during your watch where you didn’t sleep because you could still feel Centipede guts on you… Liliana barely resisted the urge to facepalm. Of all her spells and skills to level so much, it had to be the one that was useless in combat. No one could know. She’d never live it down.
Well, as a consolation prize, I got a new general skill, [Fear Resistance]. Guess there’s some benefit for facing your phobia for upwards of 48 hours straight. Liliana dropped her face into her hands again with a groan. She’d have preferred a [Bug Killer] skill or spell or even a title. Though she supposed one probably had to clear the entire dungeon to accomplish that.
I mean if it got me a special title it might be worth it… Liliana pondered for a moment before the memory of tens of Centipedes exploding out of the ground, their beady eyes and skittering legs clawing towards her replayed in her mind and she immediately shoved the idea away. Nope. She wouldn’t be entering this dungeon for any reason except forced class excursions.
“Attention!” Rauk’s voice barked out, drawing Liliana from her thoughts. Immediately the students gathered stood tall, the ones sitting scrambling to a standing position at the sound of their instructor’s voice.
“Despite this class’ frankly pathetic, lackluster, and utterly disappointing showing at the beginning of the semester,” Rauk began, looking over the gathered students, covered in cut clothes and damaged armor and looking overall like a very sorry lot. A far cry from the perfectly pressed and tailored uniforms they’d greeted Rauk with on their first day.
Good pep talk, Rauk. Way to instill confidence in impressionable youths. Liliana thought with amusement, keeping her lips carefully shut lest her sleep deprived mind fully lose control of her brain to mouth filter.
She was unaffected by Rauk’s insults, well used to Silas’ far more gruff and, frankly, at times, rude commentary during training. Her class seemed as if they had expected Rauk’s words as well. A semester's worth of time growing acclimated to their teacher’s harsh words had helped build thick skin in all of them. If they learned nothing else from this class, they could all at least take an insult now.
“This group has shown marked improvement and has become, while not extraordinary by any means, at the very least… passable.” Rauk finished, sounding as if the words were vile on his tongue, but the twitching of his lips in the ghost of a smile and the pride in his black eyes belying his harsh words.
He truly was proud of them, and Liliana wasn’t the only one to notice. Students stood taller, faces breaking into relieved and prideful smiles.
“You all pass Battle Training. Your grades will be posted with your ranking the day after the Tournaments for each year are completed.” Rauk finished, finally losing the battle with restraining his smile as something vaguely resembling one, if one was particularly generous in naming it such, flitted across his lips.
“Go. Rest, you’ll need it for the coming exams and the Tournament. Don’t think this was the hardest exam you will face.” Rauk finished, making a shooing motion with his hands.
My first exam in this world, passed! Liliana thought, a giddy feeling pushing back her exhaustion and lightening her body as she shared a smile with her friends and group-mates. It was sure to pass soon, when the stress of the other exams came back with a vengeance, but for right now they could enjoy this very first true victory in the Academy.