Liliana sat idly as her eyes wandered, taking in the sights of nobles decked out in their best. Elegant music filled the well-decorated ballroom, no expense had been spared. Magic crystals floated in the air, lighting up the marble and gold inlaid ballroom. She didn’t realize how much she missed having watches, or a smart phone, until she was stuck counting down the seconds until it was acceptable for her to make her departure from this event.
It’s my brother’s birthday, I should stay for a while, for his sake. Liliana told herself for the ninth time that night as she overheard some nobles.
“Can’t believe she was invited to this,” a feminine voice whispered, not quiet enough for Liliana’s ears easily picked it up. But she thought that might be the intent.
“Well, it is her stepbrother’s birthday,” a masculine voice responded and Liliana only kept from looking over out of sheer willpower.
“Still, you’d think she wouldn’t show her face. After all, aren’t they rivals for the title of heir? Not that it’s a real contest,” a second woman’s voice spoke up and Liliana barely resisted the urge to crush the fork in her hand.
You don’t want to be someone who just acts out in anger. Remember who you’re trying to be, who you’re trying not to be, Liliana told herself. When she’d made that decision days ago, she’d never thought it would be this hard. This party made her new decision so much more difficult than it would’ve been. There were hundreds of people crawling about the mansion, and the majority of them didn’t have favorable opinions of her. It was enough to test a saint’s patience, let alone her own.
Liliana focused on the half empty glass on the table she’d commandeered, something to take her focus from the hurtful mutterings of bored nobles. She was fairly certain she knew how to replicate Natalia’s skills, something she was more sure of after seeing the woman’s performance again earlier in the night. She’d settled on this as the most probable source because it made sense, and it didn’t require her to get and learn a whole new affinity. Telepathy was the most sensible sub-affinity that would allow her to use multiple weapons at a time without touching them.
So to give herself something to do while she counted down the seconds to her escape and to distract herself from the other noble’s she’d been trying to force the sub-affinity of Soul and Wind to unlock. So far all she’d done was managed to convince no less than eight nobles she was constipated. She knew because she’d hear them whispering about it as they passed her.
She tried to tell herself she didn’t care what they thought. Tried to convince herself that the machinations of the nobles were of no concern to her, but it was hard. But she’d never be the perfect noble daughter. Her bloodline alone guaranteed that fact. She knew she would never measure up to what they wanted her to be, no matter how prettily she dressed or how perfect her manners. Despite the new rumors about her, about her newest Bond, she still wasn’t seen as an equal to them.
She couldn’t hope to be seen as their equal. She could see it now so clearly. Not where she was at. Perhaps, one day, if she had the power to make armies quake in fear, she could claim a place amongst them. But would she even want to? Or was that just her anger and pain speaking, demanding justice for wrongs done to her? When she bothered to really ask herself if she wanted to be a part of the nobles, to be accepted as one of their own, she found the answer to be no. She did not. She wanted little to do with their petty politics and backstabbing.
It gave her some perspective on her life, on her future. If she was destined to have one after she faced whatever great evil it was that she’d been dragged into this world to vanquish. When she’d done her part, settled her debts, she didn’t want to return to this life full of facades and faux friendships. She wanted a life where she got to live, for once. Where she could be happy. A nice cottage in the country, with enough land for her Bonds to exist. Maybe traveling the world and seeing the beautiful sights and mystical monsters that inhabited it.
Liliana’s eyes rose from the unmoving glass to look around the ballroom, and a small smile flitted across her face.
Maybe a little bit of revenge, too. Liliana thought. Not petty revenge for spoken slights or gossip. No, she wanted her pound of flesh for what she’d gone through. That part of her hurt and anger demanded it, required it to be allowed to be laid to rest. She knew she’d never really have peace until her father and stepmother suffered for their crimes against her. Until she was finally given the closure she deserved.
Soon, soon. Liliana told herself. She had her plan with Marianne. If she got the proof she needed, Marianne could get her stepmother imprisoned, and could put a leash on her father. Liliana didn’t much care if it would be a huge hit to the Rosengarde power. She was planning on doing away with that name as soon as she could. The only person it would hurt really was Alistair, and she knew he would recover. He had never been one for power grabbing or social climbing, anyway. She wasn’t even sure if he wanted to be a Duke or if he simply accepted it as what he was supposed to do.
Even if it did hurt him, how could it not? He’d find out soon enough that his mother had been trying to kill his sister. He’d end up in between the two of them, forced to pick a side. It hurt her to know she would be doing this to him, but no. It wasn’t her who was doing this. It was his mother. Imogen had done this, had set in motion the events that would end with her and Alistair on separate sides. If he chose his mother over her. And as much as her heart said he'd pick her over his mother, that all the experiences they'd shared, the words passed between them, had to mean something, her head still urged caution.
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Liliana focused back on the glass on her table. She pushed thoughts of the future to the side. Imogen would make her move soon, she was sure. The woman wanted her dead and was getting desperate. She’d slip up soon, and that was when Liliana would get what she needed. She just needed patience. Until then, she’d focus on getting stronger, physically and mentally.
“Did the glass insult your dress?” a voice asked, and Liliana turned her head slightly to look at her newest guest. Emyr had emerged from whatever hole he’d hidden himself in. Liliana envied his ability to just disappear from social situations.
“Yes it did. It said it made me look fat,” Liliana responded as she refocused on the glass. How did one move something with the power of their Soul and Wind?
“Do I need to defend your honor?” Emyr said as he slipped into a chair. Liliana snorted and shook her head.
“If you wanted to do that, you’d need to challenge half this room to duels,” Liliana told him, her joking tone not entirely hiding the hurt under it.
“I could. I might not win all of them, but I could,” Emyr told her. Liliana sighed, leaning back in her chair and giving the glass a break. She mentally called it a draw, even if she knew it was a defeat.
“There’s no point. They’ll chatter until their teeth fall out. Nothing I can do to stop it. I’ll just have to get over it,” Liliana said with a shrug, trying to end the conversation. She didn’t really want Emyr to know how much the words stung, not when she was so desperately trying to become stronger. To distance herself from that hurt.
“Well, if you need help hiding a body, I’m here,” Emyr told her and his tone was so serious, Liliana had to level him with an accessing gaze. His steel-gray eyes betrayed no secrets as he held her gaze easily. Well, if anyone knew how to make a body disappear, it would be Emyr.
“I’ll be sure to go to you first, next time I murder someone,” Liliana said with a smirk as she looked back at her glass. Now back to the problem of how to move an object with the power of her Soul and Wind.
Wind is essentially force, and Soul is who I am? The power of my being? So forcing something with the power of my being? I guess? Liliana thought with a small groan. This would all be so much easier if she was at the Academy, with teachers who could walk her through this. She knew they had classes in the Academy for each Affinity. With masters of each there. Most people didn’t have very high affinity percentages when they joined. She was the outliers thanks to her godly intervention. Not that Vita had bothered to give her an instruction manual with the high affinity percentages. Most wouldn’t have more than one sub-affinity unlocked when they got to the Academy!
It could be said she was overachieving, trying to get yet another sub-affinity. But she wanted to get this one, to start training it to show Natalia the next time she saw her that she was worth teaching. She didn’t know why the woman’s approval was so important to her. She barely knew her. But it felt like something she desperately needed. She supposed it could be some mixture of Natalia being a type of role model or idol of hers and being the first person to deny her something she wanted. Maybe Liliana just wanted to prove her wrong.
Move dammit, Liliana thought at the glass, but still it sat there on the table, utterly still.
“I’m getting a bit scared for that cup. Are you trying to will it to die?” Emyr asked from beside her and Liliana groaned, laying her head down on the table without a care for how it would appear to others. Let them talk, they would anyway. Maybe she should give them a real show.
No, it’s Alastair’s birthday. He’d never forgive me if I made a scene here. Liliana reminded herself, and she groaned again. She hated this. Being at this party, pretending to be a good Rosengarde daughter, pretending she didn’t hear the whispered insults.
“I’m trying to learn Telekinesis,” Liliana told Emyr as she looked up at him from the table. His face was quirked up into an amused smirk as he watched her have a mild existential crisis over a cup.
“Why not just get a spell scroll from the city?“ Emyr asked her and Liliana’s face twisted into disgust.
“That’s cheating. I have the pre-requisite affinities. I’ve unlocked other sub-affinities naturally. I can do this too,” Liliana told him as she sat back up. Her eyes darted around the room and saw her little moment hadn’t gone unnoticed. She rolled her eyes. Of course it hadn’t. Whatever, they could spend the next few days talking about the savage commoner for all she cared.
“You know that not how i-“ Emyr started
“How it’s typically done. I know. I know. I know I’m weird, I know I’m a freak.” Liliana cut him off, her frustration rising.
She didn’t need another reminder that nothing about her experience in this world was normal, even by its skewed standards. Thanks to her previous life, her experience with the game, and Vita’s meddling, she would never be normal. Anger rose higher in her and she glared at the cup, using it as the focus for her anger. She hated that damn crystalline cup in that moment and she wanted nothing more than to chuck it into the face of one of the tittering noble ladies around them. She glared at it and gathered her Mana, anger fueling her. Using it, she pushed and was finally gratified as the cup shot off the table and broke on the ground before the table.
Liliana blinked in surprise, feeling both exhilarated by her development and disappointed. She’d fallen back on her anger as fuel for the action, let it control her again. It had gotten her what she wanted, but only because she submitted to it.
Congratulations, you’ve unlocked the Sub-Affinity Telekinesis!
Liliana shoved the notification out of her eyesight with a sigh. This latest achievement tasted bittersweet on her tongue, and she drooped.
“Well, looks like you did it,” Emyr spoke up, his tone chipper. Liliana turned to him and gave him a sad smile.
“But at what cost?” She asked softly, looking back at the shattered remains of the cup that was already being cleaned by servants. Was it okay if her anger helped her? Or was she still using it as a crutch? A defense? What would she do when she no longer had that anger to support her? Would she falter?