Liliana sat in the carriage, a warm feeling suffused through her. To her side were two sleeping children. Flint and Clover, as she’d learned the second child’s name was, had been cleaned until she could hardly recognize either one of them. Their dirty rags had been discarded and replaced with clean clothes. Nothing as ornate or expensive as what she’d wear, but far better than what the children had been wearing.
The children had been asleep in the carriage by the time Liliana, Alistair and Emyr had returned from handing out food to the poor. And now Alistair and Emyr had joined the children in sleep, the day having taken a lot out of everyone. Liliana was proud of the two nobles, though. It was not easy for them to put their own prejudices aside and walk through the dirtiest areas of their city to hand out food. It was a small step; she knew that. But it was an important one. She doubted either of them would be able to so easily ignore the dirty secrets held in alleyways and gutters now.
Liliana herself was exhausted, physically and mentally. She might constantly say how sheltered Emyr and Alistair were, but she wasn’t much better. In her past life, she’d never had much to do with the poor. She hadn’t been allowed far from her parents even before she was hospitalized, so her life experience was mostly what she’d gathered through the stories others told. She only even thought of the poor in Ravencross because of the quests she’d gained in the game from talking to NPCs. It was what had originally instigated her aiding them. From their human empathy had stepped in. Once seen she could no longer ignore the pain of those she saw dying in the dark corners of the city.
But does that really give me any moral high ground to stand on? I saw them originally as a means to an end, in the hopes of triggering events from the game. At least Emyr and Alistair had no ulterior motive in their kindness. Once they saw the problem, they wanted to help for no other reason than because someone needed aid. Is this the difference between someone fated to be a hero and someone who isn’t? Liliana wondered as her hands played through the hair of Flint, who had laid his head in her lap. Clover was curled up and using Flint’s stomach as a pillow, and in this lighting, Liliana could see small stubby horns poking out of the young girl’s hair.
Flint had lighter hair, white fading into a toasted brown. His ears, and fur she saw now on his small hands and tail, curled around his leg, with the same coloring. He reminded Liliana strongly of a Siamese cat from Earth. She wasn’t sure if they had the same creatures in this world, or if his heritage was some obscure magical beast. She’d have to wait until he woke up again to ask him if he knew what beast clan he came from, if he did. If not, she’d have to wait until he unlocked his system access to sate her curiosity.
Liliana’s eyes were drawn from the children to Alistair, who was leaning against the wall of the carriage in his sleep. Emyr’s head was pillowed on his shoulder. Both had dirt and grime on their sleeves and hems. Their clothes would need to be thoroughly cleaned or burned, their pants were coated in filth from how often they’d knelt down to hand out food. It had surprised Liliana that Alistair hadn’t given a single thought to the state of his clothes once he began handing out food. It didn’t matter if he had to sit on the dirty ground and wait to coax out scared children in order for them to take the food in his hands. He’d done it without complaint. In fact, Liliana was certain they’d still be out there handing out food if they hadn’t run out, and nearly been dragged back by the guards after night had fully fallen.
It’s like all he needed was one person to lead him to the right path. From there, he didn’t walk. He ran down it full tilt without a backwards glance, Liliana thought with a small, proud smile. When she’d first come to this world, she’d seen him as an enemy at worst, a bully at best. She’d thought the game had lied to her, painting him as the hero he so clearly wasn’t. He wasn’t the hero the game portrayed him as yet, but she could clearly see how he would one day grow into that title.
And what about me? Will I grow into a title of hero, or the villain? Liliana wondered as her eyes drifted from Alistair to the window, where the starry night was on display. Millions of little lights hung above them in the sky, looking on like innumerable emotionless watchers. Gazing on as the mortals in this world struggled and eventually died while they simply continued on for eons. It had been some time since Liliana thought of the original, Liliana’s fate of becoming a villain. She’d been so distracted by the right now to even contemplate things so far away in the future. She was certain now that she had the ability to shift the original future of this world, but the question was, how much could one person do?
She’d faltered with the pendant. What was to say the next time she wouldn’t be able to claw her way back up? Was the original temperament of this body too strong for her to resist entirely? Or was it her soul that was weak? Had Vita made the wrong choice in pulling her from the void if, even with her knowledge of the game, she almost succumbed to something like that?
Or was it the memories that tainted her? Memories that felt as real to her as her own, more real at times. Far more recent to her than the memories of a life from Earth so many years ago. People were nothing more than their memories, their life experiences, the foundation and bricks with which they were built. Had she become too much like the original Liliana by accepting those memories? Had she irreparably damaged her fate by accepting that deal in a moment of desperation? Had she dealt herself the wrong hand with one choice?
But I don’t feel evil. I don’t want to kill people. The sight of human death still makes me nauseous. But at the execution, I didn’t cry and vomit like the bandits. Am I becoming desensitized? Is this how it happens? Will I one day be able to kill someone else and not feel a thing? Liliana wondered, shivering from cold and fear of the thought. It felt like if that happened, she would truly lose her humanity. She knew this world required her to compromise her morals, to become harsher, stronger. But she didn’t want to part with her humanity in exchange for that. She’d rather die and face the gods’ wrath than sacrifice who she was.
The carriage slowed and Liliana woke herself from her introspection, seeing the lights of the manor illuminated outside the carriage. Alistair and Emyr slowly woke up, blinking sleepily in the dim light of the carriage. As they stretched, the carriage came to a stop and the children jolted awake, going from deep slumber to fearful wakefulness in the blink of an eye.
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“We’re home, it’s alright,” Liliana said softly to the children. Flint and Clover remained close, watching the three nobles with wary gazes. Liliana sighed but didn’t say anything about their behavior. Clothes, food, and a bath did not trust make. It would likely take a while before the two street children looked at her without fear.
“Follow me, little ones. We’ll get you settled in. Stay close,” Liliana advised them as the carriage door opened. The boys left first, eyes still clouded with sleep and steps clumsy in their tiredness. Liliana followed, taking Jason’s offered hand down. Her body felt heavy, and all she wanted was to fall into her comfortable bed. The children jumped down behind her and as she walked into the manor, she noticed they kept close to her, almost crowding her as they shrank away from the curious gazes of the servants and guards they passed by.
Liliana waved goodnight to Emyr and Alistair as they split off to their respective wings of the manor. She was thankful that this late at night there were only a few servants out and about. It let her escape the judgmental stares and venomous whispers that usually followed her like an echo in this house. While she wanted nothing more than to rush to her room, she kept her pace slow, mindful of both the children’s weaker physical state and curiosity. She could practically feel their wonder and amazement without even looking at them as they passed by countless displays of wealth hung and displayed through the halls and rooms of the manor.
It was with a sigh of relief that Liliana finally reached the doors to her rooms. She ushered the children in and shut the doors behind her, dropping her mask and beelining for a chair where she flopped down without a thought towards propriety.
“Lady Liliana!” a familiar voice called out, and Liliana raised her head to see Astrid rising from her chair by the fire to approach. The woman froze when she spotted the two children huddling behind Liliana’s chair, their eyes wide as they assessed the new adult before them.
“Astrid, this is Flint and Clover. Flint, Clover, this is Astrid. Astrid, these two are my new servants. I think I’ll have them assigned to care for Lelantos and Nemesis. Please teach them well. Kids, treat Astrid with the same respect you would me. She’ll take care of you and keep you safe.” Liliana quickly went through the introductions, wanting to get them done before she passed out from exhaustion.
“Oh, and I should introduce you to my Bonds, since you’ll be taking care of them. Please don’t scream, they won’t hurt you,” Liliana ordered as she tapped her summoning stones, materializing Lelantos and Nemesis.
Lelantos almost immediately scented the two new additions to his territory but was drawn up short by a mental command from Liliana. She didn’t need her Bond’s stronger senses to tell the children were frightened, and she didn’t need Lelantos scaring them to death. Nemesis merely flicked her tongue in their direction before retreating to Liliana’s hair, though Liliana could tell the serpent didn’t feel as hostile towards the children as she usually did towards new humans. Liliana had to wonder if the serpent could differentiate between different races, and because the villagers who had killed her family had been human, she naturally felt mostly only animosity for other humans. It was a question for the morning, when she felt like she had more than two working brain cells to devote to the conundrum.
“He’s like me,” Liliana heard Flint whisper quietly. She was sure he hadn’t meant to say it out loud, and certainly if he did, he didn’t mean for her to hear. But her hearing had become sharper than ever sense she had bonded with Lelantos, or perhaps because of the system she wasn’t sure. There was nothing in the books she’d read about stats increasing one’s hearing or sight. Though she had not seen anyone with glasses since she’d come to this world.
“You can pet him, if you like,” Liliana told the children with a lazy wave of her hand.
“Lady Liliana, is that alright?” Astrid asked, shooting a look towards Lelantos, who was sitting now and staring at the children. Which wasn’t much better than approaching them, in Liliana’s opinion.
“He doesn’t eat cubs,” Liliana reiterated the mental communication Lelantos had relayed at Astrid’s unspoken insinuation.
He was merely curious about the small cubs Liliana had brought home, especially Flint, who smelled similar to him. Nemesis sent back a similar communication, as if she thought it was something Liliana had thought her capable of. Granted, Liliana had thought Nemesis capable of eating children, but she had never told the serpent that. Liliana tilted her head to look at the children and had to hold back a giggle. Flint was standing in front of Clover, the fur on his tail, hands and along the edges of his face puffed out, making him look rather like a fluffy, toasted marshmallow. Liliana almost expected him to start hissing.
Oh, there it is, Liliana thought with a snort, when a small hiss emerged from the boy.
“Pfft, I don’t know what you think you can do against him, little one. But there’s no reason to be so angry. He won’t hurt you,” Liliana told Flint, startling the child enough to cause him to jump in the air. Liliana was barely restraining her laughter now, only the thinnest bit of willpower holding it back.
“He’s staring,” Flint hissed out, pointing an accusatory finger in Lelantos’ direction.
“He’s curious. Forgive his manners,” Liliana informed the boy. Flint glowered at the big cat and Liliana had to avert her face to cough into her shoulder, covering a laugh. She couldn’t help but see Flint as a small kitten, puffing up and spitting at a bigger cat.
“Lelantos, no,” Liliana groaned out as she felt an intent from the evanesce tiger, but this time he didn’t listen. Instead, he padded up to the children, who tried to hastily back up only to come up to wall. Stopping in front of a hissing Flint, Lelantos stopped. Bending his head down, he looked into the smaller boy’s eyes. For a long moment, the two just locked stares until Flint seemed to involuntarily avert his eyes. As soon as the eye contact was broken, Lelantos licked the boy, his tongue so big it nearly covered the entire child. With that done, Lelantos turned and padded toward the fire, flopping down before the flames. Poor Flint was left behind, covered in tiger slobber and looking confused and angry.
“Well, that went well,” Liliana remarked into the silent room.
“My lady…” Astrid looked exasperated and unsure of what to do.
“What? No one died,” Liliana shrugged as she closed her eyes, laying her head against the back of the chair.
“That shouldn’t be the baseline,” Astrid muttered.