“You ready?” Alistair asked, his voice a bit hesitant.

“Yea, I think so.” Liliana nodded with a gulp, reaching blindly to latch onto her brother’s arm as if hanging onto a life raft in the middle of a raging sea.

It felt like it had barely been yesterday when they had been celebrating with their friends, laying out on the green grass between the Academy’s affinity towers and the training grounds. Cheering, half drunk on the relief of finishing the last of their tests, covered in icing from Alistair’s cupcakes.

Now here they were, standing before an imposing building that wreaked of privilege, the Rosengarde crest engraved into the door. Neither of them had ever been to this house. Their father never left his territory. Instead, trusting an intermediary to handle any of his business in the capital. So they had ever had cause to stay in the capital house their father owned.

“What if,” Liliana bit off the rest of her sentence, unwilling to let the words pass her lips. Speaking the fears made them real, whereas, if they remained in her mind alone, they were ephemeral, not real, not solid.

“Lili?” Alistair asked, shifting his arm so it wrapped around her shoulders, drawing her close to his side. Liliana rested her head against him for a moment, turning her face until her sight was blocked by the silken vest he was wearing.

“What if they don’t care about me anymore?” Liliana finally confessed, pushing the words out, muffled by her brother’s clothes.

It was a ridiculous fear. She wrote letters to Silas, Jason and the children weekly, getting their responses back. Pages filled with them telling her of their days, of how much they missed her. But she was scared that once they were free of her, they’d realize she was nothing special. Just a pathetic girl, with no true power of her own. All she had was what she borrowed from her father, the money she had, the social standing. It was all because of her last name. What strength she had of her own was little when compared to those above her.

Sometimes, usually, all the time, if she was honest, it was easy to think of herself as who she had been. A sick, hospital bed bound girl. A girl with a body that had never been made to last, breaking down from the moment she was born until the day she died. Sixteen years of life and all she’d accomplished was living longer than many doctors expected, yet she died in the end, anyway.

Then coming into this world, taking on the life, the memories, of an unloved, unwanted girl destined to become a villain, until she died at her own brother’s hands. Her entire life, both of them, she’d been weak. A burden, nothing special, destined for failure. A legacy of never accomplishing anything but death.

So why would anyone want to care for her? The forgotten, unnamed girl she had been, the girl she was now. Liliana Rosengarde, the unwanted mistake. It was far easier to assume that everyone would leave, eventually. When they finally realized she was nothing special, nothing worth sticking around for.

Not worth their time, their care, their love. A burden anyone would be happy to be relieved of. She could give them nothing in exchange for their time, their love. She had no money to pay them with in exchange for it, no prestige to bestow upon them. All she had was herself, and what a lackluster gift that was.

“They came all this way, just to see you again, Lili. Of course they care.” Alistair refuted her claim, his arm gripping her tighter as Liliana burrowed closer to her brother, seeking the comfort he offered.

Alistair, she could trust to never leave her. Alistair, who had seen her broken and bleeding, who had cut his own hands open handling her shattered pieces. Alistair, who had ripped his chest open to reveal the wound ripping his heart apart to her. Alistair, who had once upon a time been destined to regret failing his sister his entire life, when she had fallen from grace and embraced the darkness. A twisted fairytale that would never come to pass.

She would never understand what she’d done to earn her brother’s undying loyalty, but it was something she knew she held, would always have. She’d never deserve it, but she was too selfish, too scared, to ever refuse it.

“Alright,” Liliana responded, not really agreeing but capitulating for now.

“Let’s knock then, shall we?” Alistair asked, but he didn’t wait for her to agree.

She might never have if he left it up to her.

Alistair walked them up, his arm a steel band around her shoulders, forcing her to walk with him or be dragged along like luggage. Alistair grabbed the ornate knocker, a stylized rose, because of course it was, and he banged it down. The sound echoed around them and Liliana would’ve sworn she felt her bones shaking in time to the thunderous booms that filled the air. Seconds after the last of the sound had faded, the door was flung open.

“Miss Lili!” a voice called out, and Liliana had to brace herself as two blurs rocketed into her legs.

“Flint, Clover,” Liliana greeted, her voice thick with emotions as she knelt down to wrap her arms around the two children.

They had grown several inches, if her estimate was correct, in their time apart. They had filled out as well, their distended stomachs and skeleton like forms from when she’d first found them long gone. Their skin was rosy with health, eyes sparkling as they both pulled back to look at her. Even their hair had thickened and Liliana could see their fur had filled in.

Flint had fur covering the edges of his face, coating his arms like a lady’s gloves. His ears were still notched, scars from his time in the streets, but he looked hale and hearty. Clover’s little horns had grown, gaining a point on each one. She had no fur on her face, but her arms were coated in brown fur that matched her curly locks.

“Miss Lili! We have so much to tell you-“ Flint started, grabbing her hand to bounce up and down in his excitement.

“We unlocked our Systems.” Clover spoke up, her soft voice abrupt, cutting off Flint’s ensuing ramble and getting to the meat of the topic. Flint paused, pouting at his friend as his thunder was stolen.

“That also means we know our birthdays, Miss Lili!” Flint declared, recovering quickly as he grinned up at Liliana.

“Why don’t we let lady Liliana come inside and settle in before we start peppering her with information?” a good natured voice broke in and Liliana looked up to see Jason leaning in the doorway. He hadn’t changed much over the months, but he seemed to be trying to grow a beard. It was patchy and Liliana hoped he wasn’t planning on keeping it.

“Jason,” Alistair greeted as Liliana stood up, the children taking a hand each, as they began to tug her into the house. She dug her heels in, wanting to greet Jason before she let the children lead her off to who knew where.

“What’s wrong with your face?” Liliana asked, nose scrunching as she looked at Jason.

“Really? Three months since you saw me, and that’s what you start with?” Jason asked. Liliana raised an eyebrow and Jason sighed, crossing his arms over his chest.

“I’m growing a beard. The ladies love facial hair.” Jason explained.

“I don’t think anyone likes someone who looks like they ended up on the wrong side of a hair removal potion.” Liliana said bluntly. Jason huffed, but his lips twitched in a smile, mirrored by Liliana.

A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.

“Missed you, little lady.” Jason said as he drew her into a hug that Liliana released the children’s hands to reciprocate. Liliana gripped his shirt tightly as she was granted a physical reassurance that she hadn’t been abandoned, forgotten, left behind. Jason’s scent of leather, wood and oil relaxed a part of her she hadn’t realized was tense.

“You just miss being around someone who doesn’t take your shit,” Liliana said as she pulled back.

“No, that part was pretty nice. My ego had time to recover with you gone, as did my health, not having to drag you away from whatever new suicidal plan you’d devised.” Jason teased, ruffling her hair as they stepped apart, and Liliana’s hands were once more taken by Flint and Clover.

“Ah, so guard duty is too easy for you, then? I’ll have to speak to Silas and be sure you have more to fill your time.” Liliana said, tone deceptively innocent as she finally let the children drag her away.

“No! Liliana, that’s not what I meant!” Jason’s complaints fell behind her as the children guided her into the house.

Liliana looked around with interest. The halls were far less wide than the manor, and the style looked a few years behind what was fashionable. There were portraits lining the halls of people Liliana didn’t know but could guess at. They all had the trademark Rosengarde blue eyes, and many shared her dark hair and golden complexion.

“Mr. Silas said he wanted to see you,” Flint said as he tugged Liliana up several sets of stairs and down more hallways. Liliana was convinced this house was designed to be labyrinth like just to confuse her.

“Once you talk to him, we can show you what skills we have already!” Flint continued, and Liliana couldn’t help the indulgent smile that took over her lips.

She needed to do some shopping soon, to get the children gifts to celebrate their birthdays. She was a bit surprised they hadn’t told her of this over the letters, but looking at how happy they’d been to tell her in person, she assumed they wanted her to be there when they gave her the news.

“Have you two leveled any?” Liliana asked, and the reactions between the two children varied greatly. Flint looked ecstatic, and Clover looked disgusted.

“Jason took us to the Slimes! I’m level 5 now!” Flint declared, puffing his chest out in pride.

“It was horrible, Miss Lili. The Slimes are disgusting.” Clover informed her, face twisted in displeasure. Liliana had to bite back a laugh.

She remembered how gross the Slimes could be, getting goop all over her clothes and her weapon if she wasn’t careful. She didn’t think Clover, proper Clover who was shaping up to be the textbook definition of a perfect lady’s maid, would ever appreciate the grime and nastiness that came with fighting monsters. At least the girl was already an expert at getting blood out of clothing.

“It was great. I wanted to keep leveling, but we didn’t have a lot of time before we had to come here.” Flint said, ears drooping a little at the missed chance to level.

“Maybe I can take you two out leveling some time during my vacation?” Liliana offered, Flint cheering and agreeing immediately, Clover looking suspicious but agreeing reluctantly. Liliana mentally noted she should probably get the girl a bow and arrow set, or a slingshot. It would keep her far from the monsters and out of range of anything that could get her dirty.

“Mr. Silas has been spending a lot of time in here.” Flint told her as they stopped before a thick oak door on the third level of the house. Liliana didn’t even have time to get nervous over seeing Silas before Flint was throwing the door open and tugging her inside.

“Silas,” Liliana breathed out the word.

Warmth and trepidation filled her seeing the man she felt was more of a father to her than Frederick Rosengarde had ever been, sitting behind a desk covered in paperwork, his calloused hands stained with ink. He raised his head and every insecurity she’d felt faded away as his lips pulled into a soft smile, his hard eyes warming. He looked like a father seeing his daughter after months apart.

“Liliana,” Silas greeted, putting down his fountain pen and standing, moving out from behind the desk and crossing the distance in two large strides. His hands gripped her shoulders tightly as he looked over her. Distantly, she heard the door shutting behind her, the children leaving them to their moment.

“You’re thinner,” Silas noted with a slight frown, his eyes growing concerned.

“Can I get a hug before you start nagging me?” Liliana asked with a sigh.

She didn’t wait for his response, just leaned forward, wrapping her arms as far around Silas’ muscular form as she could. His arms circled around her and Liliana almost broke down, because she finally felt safe. For a long moment, she felt like a child in her parent’s embrace, with all the unshakable trust that the adult would take care of all her problems, would make all her fears go away.

Safe.

Home.

Those two words rebounded and bounced around Liliana’s mind as she melted into the hug, as she let the pine, wood smoke and leather smell of Silas wrap around her like a comforting blanket. She knew that as long as Silas was around her; she was always safe. He was an unyielding mountain of a man, unshakeable, unyielding.

“Come on, sit down, and let me nag my favorite charge.” Silas said, pulling back and guiding her to a chair.

Liliana collapsed into it, Silas taking the one next to it. Liliana drew one leg up into the chair, wrapping her arm around it. Silas raised an eyebrow at the improper posture and behavior but didn’t admonish her, and Liliana was grateful. She hadn’t even worn a dress today, choosing instead something closer to a suit, fancy enough to be proper but far more masculine than what many young noble ladies would do. There was no one around to tell her she couldn’t, and she preferred outfits that were easier to fight in. Just because she could fight in a skirt, and dresses could hide an appalling amount of weaponry, didn’t mean she wanted to.

“You’re not sleeping well, or eating well.” Silas didn’t pose it as a question, and Liliana sighed as she released the illusions she had begun to wear as a habit now.

It seemed Silas could see through them as easily as her instructors. She didn’t always sleep badly, notably when Alistair spent the night in her room, she slept well. But she knew she still wasn’t getting the recommended amount of sleep she should be. School stress and nightmares had combined for a terrible sleep schedule.

“I’m fine, Silas. It’s just school. The Academy is tough, and I have a lot to do between classes, studying, homework, training and clubs.” Liliana waved off his concerns.

“Liliana…” Silas’ voice held a warning and Liliana’s other leg came up until she was sitting curled up in her chair.

“It’s not like before,” Liliana said, tone defensive as she avoided his eyes.

She knew what he was concerned about. He was worried she was going to become what she’d been before. After That Day, after she no longer had revenge to focus on, after the high from finally beating Imogen faded, and all she had left was the empty hole in her chest. When she barely slept, because when she did, she’d wake up screaming so loud it could wake half the manor. When she’d screamed so often, no one bothered to come after the first few times.

When she refused to eat, because the grief filled her so much, there wasn’t room left in her for hunger or food. When she found herself on his doorstep more often than not, and he’d let her in to sit on his couch to stare at his wall, unresponsive to anything at all, but always seeking out the comfort his presence gave her.

Alistair and Emyr had seen some of it, but she’d avoided them so much in those days that they hadn’t seen the worst of it. But Silas had, because she’d always seek him out. He’d seen her when she was little more than an animated corpse.

He’d been the one to snap her out of it, finally breaking down and yelling at her, shocking her out of her state and bringing her back into the present. He’d gotten her to eat again, coaxing her with simple broths and soups until she could handle something more without throwing it back up. He’d helped her find her strength again, and she knew he more than anyone else would be worried about her returning to that state again.

“It really is the school. And I still have nightmares, so sleep isn’t easy. But it’s not as bad as before. I just need a break from school, and I’ll be fine.” Liliana explained tentatively, but wanting to reassure him that she really was doing better. She wasn’t good, she hadn’t gotten to that point yet even if some days she could almost believe she was healed. But she was nowhere close to how she’d been before.

“If you’re sure,” Silas said and Liliana nodded, wanting this conversation to end, to turn to something more mundane, safe.

“Tell me about the Academy.” Silas said after a few silent moments and Liliana uncurled, eager for this peace offering.

Silas would still worry and she’d have to show him she was doing better. So she focused on telling him about everything she hadn’t written in her letters. About her professors, about the friends she’d made, about the classes, the ones she loved, the ones she hated. And Silas listened, nodding along and questioning a few things but letting her fill him in on the three months they’d been apart.

And it was as if they hadn’t been apart for months. For an afternoon, Liliana could shove her wriggling insecurities, all the parts of herself that weren’t healed yet down deep. For an afternoon, she could be a normal girl, telling the man she saw as a father about something as normal as classes, teenage friends, gossip and silly drama.