“Lili!” a voice shouted and Liliana barely had time to step behind her brother before a blur of white rocketed towards her. Alistair quickly caught the princess and kept her back from Liliana, who had flinched at the sudden movement and loud noise.
“Lili?” Emyr’s voice asked, concern lacing it as he walked up.
He and Marianne had arrived at the same time, Emyr having been granted the use of the royal portalists to get home and back in time for the end of break. Marianne had waited for Emyr to get back so they could return to the Academy at the same time. They’d told Alistair and Liliana the plan before the start of vacation, what felt like years ago now. Had it really only been a single month since she last saw her friends?
“Hey, Em, Mari.” Liliana greeted softly, moving just enough that she could see them from behind her brother but not enough to full reveal herself. Sometimes Alistair’s ridiculous bulk was useful, especially when Liliana needed a convenient place to hide.
“I told Alistair and the rest about… the pendant.” Liliana communicated mentally to Emyr.
To his credit, the boy’s eye’s widened in surprise, but he didn’t react negatively to her telepathy. The again, of all of her friends, he was the most used to the specific brand of chaos that Liliana exuded like an aura. He was likely just happy she hadn’t run off to get a new bond during the vacation. He was still occasionally pouty about not being with her for Polaris.
“Lili? What’s wrong?” Marianne asked, still restrained by Alistair.
She knew about the attack, but she didn’t know the details, or how traumatizing the event was. A single attack on its own, even one where Liliana was injured, wouldn’t normally be cause for concern. She’d had worse injuries before, so Marianne’s confusion was normal. Alistair had never prevented the princess from hugging Liliana, and Liliana had never shied away from her ready affection.
“Let’s head to Lili’s room,” Alistair said instead of an answer.
They’d already talked to Vereign earlier in the day to get permission for the conversation to be held in a dorm room. The Academy was updated on the attack, and some of the nature of it. Enough to know that other students were at risk from a powerful person who was still at large. They had to know that their students were in danger. It wouldn’t be right to keep that from them, to put other students at risk. Liliana was sure even more security measures were being put in place, but she wasn’t updated on them.
Liliana had asked to have the conversation in her room. It was her ‘territory’ so she felt safest there, and she was fairly confident there were no listening or spying spells inside the room. Best she and her bonds could tell, anyway. She was planning on having the majority of the conversation mentally regardless, eliminating the risk of others finding out information they had no need to be aware of.
“Alright,” Marianne said slowly, finally ceasing her attempts to free herself and get to Liliana.
Liliana led the way to her room, Alistair close behind her. Most of class S was back, or arriving, and the flurry of activity helped disguise the four of them slipping into Liliana’s room. Emyr was last in and he closed the door behind himself.
Liliana and Alistair took the bed, Liliana pulling her knees up to her chest and Alistair pressed into her side, a comforting support. Emyr settled on the ground in front of her and Marianne grabbed Liliana’s desk chair, setting in front of the siblings and plopping down, her features twisted in worry and wariness.
“Is this about the attack?” Marianne asked slowly.
Liliana sighed and nodded her head, trying to find her words. She had talked to Alistair about the story she wanted to tell their friends, or Marianne, as she was the only one who didn’t know everything. Alistair had been rather upset to find Emyr knew the story over a year before he did, but had eventually come to understand that Emyr had gained Liliana’s trust long before he did.
“It’s a long story,” Liliana started, stopping again when her bonds made their way into the room.
Lelantos laid in front of the door, blockading it so no one would surprise them. Nemesis slithered up Liliana’s arm until she could wrap around her neck, her scales hiding the newest silver scar that stretched across Liliana’s neck. Polaris settled on the floor between her and Emyr, his head resting on her feet.
Liliana wasn’t excited to tell this story for a third time, especially knowing she’d need to tell it a fourth time later. She had to tell Diana something, as the girl was a target now. But while she liked the girl, considered her a friend and even trusted her, she didn’t have a deep enough connection to feel comfortable telling her the details she’d be sharing with Marianne today. It was perhaps for the best that Diana wasn’t back yet and she could stagger her emotional conversations.
“Emyr already knows this story, as does Alistair. And because of the nature of the threat all of you are under now, I need to share it with you too, Mari.” Liliana explained through [Telepathy], mental voice choked with the guilt that was rising in her.
Alistair’s hand gripped her own with a squeeze, and it reminded her to control her emotions and not let them overwhelm her again. With a few steadying breaths, the guilt subsided, flowing out of her. She shook her head and steeled her will for what she was about to do.
So Liliana told the story again. She hated that Healer Sybil was right about this, but telling the story became easier each time. Telling it with intent, not fueled by guilt and grief and pain, made it easier to get through as well. The fact that these memories had been the first Healer Sybil, and she had worked through and, for lack of a better term, healed made this a far less traumatizing experience for her.
This time it was less like unleashing Pandora’s Box on her delicate psyche and ripping apart her carefully crafted armor and barricades, and instead, it was like lifting a burden from her shoulders. Like she was Atlas, finally being relieved of the weight of the world on her shoulders.
It didn’t take long for horror and sympathy to overtake Marianne’s face, and before the story was even half over, Marianne had tears streaming down her face, hands clasped to her mouth as she stared at Liliana with wide, watery, ruby eyes.
Emyr had shifted slowly, watching Liliana’s reactions as if she was an injured, wild animal, until he sat on her other side and bracketed her with Alistair, supporting her as he listened to the story again. Liliana kept a careful control of her emotions, trying to keep her mental communications to words only. [Telepathy] was much like mental communications with her bonds, with subtle differences.
Others, if they had enough mental defenses, could block her communications entirely. Her bonds and her, while they could block certain memories and ,as she’d found out before, block out communications to a point, their thoughts and emotions were always being communicated.
[Telepathy] was similar in that Liliana could communicate with emotions and images. Unlike her bonds, it was harder to communicate like that. Liliana wasn’t sure if it was because most people thought in words and beasts defaulted to thinking in images and emotions or if it was some other cause. However, if she was distressed or experiencing strong emotions or explaining an emotionally charged memory, it became far too easy to ‘infect’ others with her emotions and memories.
That hadn’t been a fun thing to realize when she’d been in the middle of a panic attack and had accidentally infected Alistair with twisted memories of the pendant. It had resulted in two panicked, freaking out teenagers and a very overwhelmed Jason who had screamed for Silas to help. The entire event would’ve been funny if Liliana’s panic hadn’t been exacerbated by her brother’s state.
It was a good reminder and warning for her to always be careful with her mental communications. Her bonds were well used to handling her emotions. Her friends, on the other hand, had no defenses for foreign mental invasions.
Liliana could still remember what the first few weeks with Lelantos had felt like, how foreign it was to have someone else in her mind. Foreign thoughts, emotions, instincts and impulses that weren’t her own effecting her. Bonding provided some protections for the bonded pairs and helped assimilate the bonds to the entire thing. [Telepathy] didn’t give those same protections to others. Her friends wouldn’t even realize they were reacting to her emotions until after the damage was done.
When Liliana finished her story, she was exhausted mentally and emotionally, but in a similar way to how she felt after her Psyche Healing. It wasn’t a bad exhaustion; it felt like progress. It was a type of healing similar to physical therapy, working out injured parts of her until they were back to full strength.
Liliana thought maybe one day, if she told her story often enough, maybe it would cease to have any hold on her. One day, it could just be another story she told, maybe even joked about. She wasn’t there yet, but she could feel herself getting closer to it.
“Because I don’t know what it saw in my mind. You could be in danger, Mari. Emyr is definitely a target as well. He was around me when I wore the pendant. The Academy is already alerted, and I wouldn’t be surprised if your mom knows far more than what was included in the reports and letters already.” Liliana explained to them at the end of her story, leaning heavily on Alistair as she did, resisting the urge to hide.
She had learned, over the summer break, to trust her friends to not up and abandon her, but she was still scared. She was fairly certain Emyr wouldn’t leave. He had known most of this story already, and he was still here. But Marianne hadn’t gone through half the things she and Emyr had been through together.
“If that thrice damned pendant tries to come back, I’ll burn it to ash,” Emyr muttered, glaring at the wall. Liliana could almost feel his anger rolling off of him in waves, even without [Empathy].
This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it.
“Well. Technically, it already has.” Liliana couldn’t help correcting with a wan smirk that was closer to a grimace. Emyr turned his glare to her, and Liliana pinched her lips together. It was a bad joke, she could admit it.
“That’s the last time I leave you alone. Every time I do, you get hurt. You can’t be trusted alone anymore.” Emyr declared with a huff, grabbing her hand and holding onto it with a death grip. Liliana was lucky his Strength was lower than her Vitality, or she’d have broken bones. Liliana felt tears pooling in her eyes and a sob catch in her throat.
She had known, trusted, and believed Emyr wouldn’t abandon her. But to have a confirmation that her first friend in this world, her best friend, the boy who was as much of a brother to her as Alistair, her first secret keeper, was still choosing to stay by her side, it lifted a dread that had settled over her for days.
Liliana pushed off of Alistair and flung her arms around Emyr, face hidden in his shoulder as she cried in relief, in happiness. Because she was happy for all the grim tale she’d just told. She hadn’t lost Emyr, and that was reason enough to fill her with happiness. To suffused her chest with a warmth that wanted to burst from her.
“Silly girl, I told you I’m here for you. Whatever you need. Always, nothing will ever change that, Lili.” Emyr murmured into her hair, rubbing a soothing hand on her back as she clutched at his clothes.
“I’m glad you told them, Lili. You never deserved to face everything alone.” Emyr told her, a soft, hushed whisper that she could only hear from how close they were.
“I didn’t have much of a choice. I broke, Emyr. I was so scared, so guilty, and in so much pain. I couldn’t handle it anymore.” Liliana confessed mentally.
Emyr’s arms tightened around her, and Liliana melted into the embrace. She knew, now more than ever, she had so many people in her life willing to protect her, to stand tall and strong when she fell.
It helped, more than she thought any of them could ever know, to see she was no longer alone. These people, who had seen her at her absolute worst, heard her long list of crimes, heard how she had put them in danger and yet still resolutely stayed by her side.
And Liliana would never admit it, but Emyr’s support meant perhaps the most to her. Emyr, who had been with her from almost the start. Who had reached out to her, when she was all rough edges and sharp tongue, and reckless stubbornness and little else. Emyr, who had saved her life again and again, even when it meant putting his own life on the line.
Who had stood by every choice she made, who had risked his dearest and longest friendship to aid her in putting an end to Imogen. Emyr, who had seen her go from a paranoid, stumbling fool into the broken but slowly healing mess she was now and was still willing to stay her friend through all the chaos and strife that came with her.
Liliana might, with time, recover from many losses. She’d change, she’d become someone harder, harsher, crueler with them. But she knew, deep down, that Emyr’s loss, more than almost any other barring her bonds themselves, would irreparably destroy her.
Liliana tried carefully to press her emotions through to him, for him to feel the relief, the love, the gratitude that thrummed through her so strongly it felt like she would explode. His arms tightened once more around her, and she knew he understood. She didn’t have to use [Empathy] to feel the love he felt for her. It was obvious in the way he held her, the way his hand moved on her back.
“If Alistair won’t take you, I’ll marry you in a heartbeat,” Liliana said, tone tentatively teasing as she pulled back. Emyr snorted as he wiped his own watery eyes.
“I’d take you up on that if I swung that way, Lils,” Emyr said with a soft smile as he brushed the hair away from her face and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead.
It wasn’t the first time the two of them had joked that way, but while they had started their fair share of rumors in the noble circles, neither had ever felt anything stronger than a friendly love bordering on familial. Liliana looked over and saw Alistair staring at them, his eyes fixed on Emyr and something soft and warm in his eyes. Something Liliana would say was love, but of a different flavor than what Liliana felt for the boy.
Alistair had long since gotten over the jealousy Liliana had realized he’d felt when she and Emyr had gotten close. It was quite evident to anyone who was close to Liliana and Emyr that neither was romantically interested in the other, and she thought that had calmed her brother, who had yet to fully accept his feelings for Emyr. Now she thought seeing his best friend comfort his sister was only strengthening whatever love was hiding in his heart.
When we’ve all recovered from this, I might need to actually start pushing those two together. Liliana thought idly when a sniffle reminded her that there was someone else in the room. Liliana turned to Marianne, whose eyes were still filled with tears, her nose bright red and pale face splotchy. Marianne was not a pretty crier for all her inherent beauty.
“Can-Can I hug you, Lili?” Marianne asked, her voice small and unsure as the princess picked at her clothes with trembling fingers. Liliana had scarcely nodded before the princess was on her, thin arms wrapped tightly around her with surprising strength.
“I almost lost you before I even had you!” Marianne sobbed into Liliana’s shoulder.
Liliana found her roles switched where she was now the one comforting someone else. She barely had time to be surprised and happy that Marianne quite obviously had no plans to abandon her for less dangerous friends. She was too busy trying to calm her upset friend down from a panic to feel relief. It was hard to feel anything but concern when there was a princess wailing in her arms and Liliana surreptitiously checked her Health to be sure Marianne hadn’t actually burst her eardrum.
“It’s alright, Mari. I’m here. I’m… not alright, but I will be.” Liliana stopped herself before she could utter the lie.
She was trying to be more honest with her friends. She wasn’t going to stop lying anytime soon, especially not as a noble, but she could stop lying to her friends and the people who wanted to help her. Her lies had done nothing but hurt her and those she cared about, and ultimately put them all in danger.
“Aren’t you… mad?” Lilian asked when Marianne had calmed some, though she was still crying into Liliana’s shoulder.
“Why would I be mad?” Marianne asked, her confusion enough to stop her hysterics as she pulled back, red eyes gazing into Liliana’s as if she had spoken in a different language, which Liliana was at least 75% sure she hadn’t. It had happened before when she was translating books from Astrati to Common.
“Because I put you in danger?” Liliana meant to say it as a statement, but it came out as more of a question. Marianne snorted, giggles spilling from her lips as if Liliana had just told a particularly amusing joke.
“Lili, this is hardly the first, or even the worst, danger I’ve been in. It doesn’t even rate in the top thirty.” Marianne informed her friend with a bluntness that paused whatever Liliana had been about to say on her tongue. Marianne read her bewilderment, and she shook her head.
The princess looked at Alistair and, through nothing more than her expression, convinced the boy to move over so Marianne could squeeze in next to Liliana. Marianne took Liliana’s hands in her own and her face settled into something serious, a face Liliana only ever really saw when Marianne was acting in her official capacity as crown princess.
“Lili. I’m a crown princess of the largest country on our continent. I’m in constant danger, especially as the only heir. Other countries, even ones we’re allied with, have been sending assassins after me since I was born. Our own nobles have tried to kill me more times than I can count,” Marianne informed Liliana with all the tact of a battering ram, stunning Liliana to silence.
She had known, objectively, that Marianne was a target for assassins because of her position. She just hadn’t realized how prolific the attacks were.
“In fact, all of you are also in danger by nature of association with me. It’s not as great a danger as I am but…” Marianne trailed off, finally breaking eye contact to look away, “it’s enough that Knights have been dispatched to watch all of you for over a year now.” Marianne finished, her voice softer. Liliana still couldn’t speak. Her mouth was hanging open like a fish as she gaped at her friend.
“I knew about the attack before the guards did. Mother had the man followed as far as possible. They thought it might be an assassin sent to get information about me. We already have our own people looking into it, as well as the city guards. I wasn’t supposed to tell you anything about the Knights on you. Mostly because they’re not actually there to protect you…” Marianne trailed off again, and she looked truly uncomfortable now and guilty. It was an emotion Liliana was familiar enough to identify easily on others.
“They’re there to neutralize us if we’re compromised by enemies.” Emyr finished for her, his voice cold. Marianne closed her eyes, wincing as if Emyr’s words were blows, but nodded.
“Yeah.” Marianne said softly.
“They’re supposed to save you, if it’s possible, if you’re caught. But their first orders are to gather information, and if they can’t get you out or save you without compromising themselves, they’re to tie off any loose ends.” Marianne elaborated, the words coming out of her softly, and full of guilt.
Liliana’s head was spinning, but she could understand. At least from the queen’s perspective, who had control of the Knights. The queen’s first loyalty was the queendom, then her daughter. Liliana supposed she, Emyr, and Alistair didn’t rate very high on her list of priorities further than their closeness with Marianne, and therefore the information they held on the princess. Information that could be used to hurt, or even kill, Marianne and thereby destabilize their entire country. If Liliana was in the queen’s position, she’d likely have made the same choice.
It didn’t make the information easier to swallow, this knowledge that she was expendable, but Liliana didn’t blame Marianne for it. The princess had no control over the Knights, who were soul bonded to the queen.
She was upset her friend had never told her this, but in the end, having the information did her little good. If she was captured by enemies of their country, she’d either be strong enough to escape or she wouldn’t. And she certainly wasn’t strong enough to fight a Knight. If she was, she wouldn’t be captured in the first place. And, if she was honest with herself, she’d take the merciful death at the hands of a Knight rather than the slow death of torture. She just hoped she was never in a position where it was necessary.
“So, I couldn’t very well be mad at you for technically putting me in more danger, when for me, it likely isn’t danger at all.” Marianne said helplessly with a shrug, looking back at Liliana with hope and fear in her eyes.
Liliana knew what Marianne was feeling, because it was what she’d felt when she started her story. If Liliana hadn’t already been willing to disregard what Marianne had told her, this would’ve changed her mind.
“So, are we… good?” Marianne asked hesitantly.
Liliana pulled her hands out of Marianne’s, the other girl’s face crumpling as she did. Liliana didn’t give her time to get upset over the perceived rejection before she wrapped the princess in a tight hug.
“Yeah, we’re good.” Liliana said, feeling Marianne relax and return the hug.
“Your mom is a different story, though.” Liliana grumbled.
“That’s fine. I’m still mad at her about it.” Marianne said, her tone holding old, uncovered anger.
“How long is she banned from hugs?” Liliana asked.
“A year. It was six months after she first told me about the Knights. I thought she’d learned better, but after the Knight didn’t step in during your attack, I told her I’m not hugging her for a year.” Marianne said, her tone vicious.
“Good,” Liliana said, a giggle erupting from her. Marianne soon joining in. And Liliana knew they would be just fine.
It’s good to know that no matter what new fucked up event happened to her, she’ll always have her friends beside her. Finally, she could trust, completely and utterly, that whatever might come, it would never be enough to break the bonds they’d forged.