Cal and his team made their way to their home away from home, the first floor, Weavelord’s dungeon, that had become their dungeon, which had then become Amorfo’s dungeon. The smell of Apollo’s Polo cologne still hung in the air, remnants of Barb’s Remote Odor Control spell.
Inside the huge basement room that had been the first-level inner sanctum, the cubicle maze was gone. Since all of the artificial Celestial Nodes had been shut off, there was no corn fountain pedestal anymore. However, puddles of the creamed corn—some quite deep—were scattered around. The desk itself lay smashed into pieces. A Jell-0h covered stapler lay on the floor, perfectly preserved.
They marched across the vast open space only to find Cardi, covered in the corn, her hair and makeup ruined. The Sweater Wraith had her hands around Amorfo’s neck. The Dudusa was now a gawky tween boy, and he squealed. “Hey! Guys! Help!”
“Everyone just chill!” a loud voice echoed through the room.
Floating down from the ceiling came a nine-tailed fox woman, radiating power, as a variety of brightly colored stuffed animals poured out of the gleaming core gem on her belly. The stuffed animals morphed into enormous monsters as they fell and landed on gargantuan plush feet, sinking into the corn.
Ji-Soo of the Arcandor Initiative let out a roar. “You are all under arrest!”
Cal threw Bullet Points into Cardi, knocking her back.
But then, a giant pink teddy bear grabbed him, and Cal found himself powerless, his Funk Soul neutralized. More teddy bears, a few giant rabbits, and kaiju-sized red dog circled them.
Cal found himself yelling, “We’re innocent! She’s the one that needs to get locked up. Cardiganna Lowhand, you are under arrest!”
Cardi was rubbing at the blackened scorch marks on her shoulder. “Nuh uh! I was like, under the control of Barbara Starmyst. She totally vanilla candled me!”
Amorfo chuckled. “Uh, right. In your dreams. You were working with Barb all along.”
Kronke grinned at the fox girl. “Hi, Pretty. Kronke think you a pretty fox girl.”
Ji-Soo grinned back. “Oh, hi Kronke! Where’s your maniacal sentient weapon full of world-destroying evil?”
The troll shrugged. “It toxic relationship. Kronke ended it. Pinkerton gone forever. Suddenly Kronke is single.”
Gwen knocked Helga’s shoulder with an elbow. “What’s going on here?”
“I’m single too.” Ji-Soo giggled. “We should go out for cookie milkshakes! You are so handsome.”
Kronke nodded. “Me know. Me humble. Thank you for compliment.”
Ji-Soo’s eyes glittered. “We’ll talk more later, handsome. For now, we need to focus on the arrest. For high crimes against the Council of Dungeon. Yeah, Cardi, not buying your story. But wait. Where is Barb and Inke?”
Cal went for his inner coat pocket and found himself shaken left and right, up and down, by the massive teddy holding him.
Ji-Soo eyes glowed. “Easy does it, mister. Got an ancient relic in there that you’re just itching to use?”
“No!” Cal yelped. “It’s a rock polisher. I think it stopped polishing. Let me get Inke out.”
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Ji-Soo floated over, and Cal’s face was suddenly filled with fox tails. The dungeon hunter reached into his coat pocket and pulled out the rock polisher. A second later, he watched as Ji-Soo opened the orb and removed Inke’s gem. It did look great, all shiny and buffed and sparkly.
The jewel flashed. “Inke so dizzy! But Inke back to his old self. Where is everyone?”
Cal then gave a brief explanation of the current events. To drive his point home, the warm scent of vanilla on a cold December evening filled the air.
Ji-Soo was frowning. “Wow, Cal! That is such a wild and strangely vivid story. But are we sure that it all happened that way? And who can corroborate?”
“I can, miss!” Perkle came rolling up in a hastily made cart, piles high with the various spare parts from Fullgeers, Daphne, and Karl’s remains. He must’ve grabbed them and brought them up through Harvey’s ducts.
Ji-Soo’s face brightened. “Perk!”
“Ji!” Perkle leapt off his contraption to run over and give Ji-Soo a big hug.
The fox girl patted the Gadget Gnome. “Sorry, Perk, about this whole situation. It would have killed me if I’d had to NUKE you. So glad things turned out so much happier!”
The gnome laughed. “I would’ve done the same thing. We had to save all those worlds! And we did. With the help of Audit Team Six.”
While they were talking, Cardi had slowly been retreating. She turned to run, but Gwen appeared out of the shadows and tripped her. She went sprawling.
Gwen’s face was grim. “Oops. Probably shouldn’t have had your Mean Ghoul kill Dave.”
A second later, Ji-Soo threw a golden lasso of light around her and pulled her back. More golden light circled the Sweater Wraith’s wrists. “Oh, no, missy. You’re going to stand trial, and yeah, you’re not going to wind up with some eternal indentured servitude. You’re going to find yourself in Dungkaban. Hope you like prison cells because it’s going to be in one for you for a long, long time!”
“That’s not fair.” Cardi sniffed the air. “And I hate the smell of vanilla, Barb! I hate it!”
More vanilla candle smells poured down on them.
By this time, Ji-Soo’s stuffed minions had stepped back, giving them all more room, because in the end, Team Six weren’t under arrest. Far from it. They’d saved the day.
Cal glanced over to see Amorfo holding Inke’s gem while the pair talked.
Amorfo groaned. “You used the Kelly Ryan spell? Inke, why didn’t you tell me! I never got a chance to talk to her. I love Kelly Ryan!”
Gwen brightened. “So you can summon the most awesome person ever? I didn’t really like Maya Daya, but I love Kelly Ryan.”
Inke’s gem flashed as he laughed. “Everyone love Kelly Ryan. But you know it mostly charm magic. She not love you back.”
Gwen didn’t look convinced. “Uh, I can love her enough for the two of us. We’ll talk.”
Ji-Soo frowned. “Be careful with those Summon Receptionist spells, and the Temp Staffing magic. If you give those minions too much Apothos, they can take on a life of their own.”
“Maya Daya was here,” Gwen nearly shouted. “She was somehow hiding in the Kelly Ryan magic, which kinda makes me jealous. I’m pretty sure the Mind’s Eye is a black-market operation specializing in rare silverware. She was here looking for rare summer salad threeks.”
Ji-Soo’s tail twitched as she pinched the bridge of her nose. “The Mind’s Eye is a lot of things to a lot of people. So much mystery surrounding them! But I swear, this silverware craze is bound to end. It’s such a fad.”
“I agree fully,” Cal said.
He turned to see Helga on Hurricane. The barbarian decorator put a gentle hand on his shoulder. “Well, boyo, never did I think when we started out together, we’d be saving so many worlds.”
Gwen threw an arm around Cal. “You said it, Helga. Not just saving worlds but growing in power. And level with me, what are my chances of becoming a Divine Auditor? I’d like to…” her voice grew thick with emotion. “I’d like to continue my father’s work. I want to help dungeon cores protect the Tree of Souls. What’s the best way to do that?”
“Through heavy-handed bureaucracy and paperwork,” Cal said with a heart full of love, love for the job.
Gwen grimaced. “There’s going to be reports, aren’t there? Reports and late Friday afternoon business meetings.”
Cal turned and gave his friend a hug. “And long, long conference calls.”
“Kronke love conference calls!” the big troll paladin stormed over and circled his massive arms around his best friends.
They stood there for a minute, until Ji-Soo asked them a very important question. “With Weavelord gone, who is going to manage the audit teams?”
That important question lingered in the air.
No one answered.
Ji-Soo pointed at Cal. “It’s pretty clear you’re the logical choice, Mr. Illudere. That’s going to be my recommendation.”
Cal would love to work with all of DUDE’s accountants, but then, he’d have to leave Team Six.
The very idea broke his heart.
The nine-tailed Demonic Fox Fiend picked up a stapler covered in Jell-Oh and made a face. “Urothling pop cultural references. At some point, we’re going to have to do something about that.”