Cal followed Perkle through the HVAK ducts on their way to the Gadget Gnome’s secret hideout. Perkle was pushing Kronke’s mostly stone body on an unpowered steampunk sled. The other sleds had malfunctioned, and they hadn’t had the time to fix them.

That meant Cal, and his team, along with Amorfo, had to crawl through the ducts on their hands and knees. Well, not the shorter members. They could walk upright. Hurricane’s hooved clanked on the metal.

Cal had so many questions. How could they stop Barb? Where had Perkle been? With Dave gone, who would be their new boss? Cal had ascended to Azure Branch, but what if his new B-Class abilities were terrible?

Having a new boss at the Department seemed like cruel and unusual punishment. Even though Dave had been terrible, Cal had gotten so used to him, so it was hard to imagine breaking in another manager.

That was the funny thing with jobs—it was easy to hate them when you had to show up every day, but the minute they were gone, there was a lot to miss. Or that was Cal’s experience. Coworkers were pain the in neck, and you complained about them constantly, until they were gone, and then you wished they were still around.

At one point, they stopped to rest.

Helga went over to Cal and Gwen, as they sat on the metal floor with their backs against the wall.

The halfling was solemn. “I know that Dave is gone. Aye, I do. And I’d like for you two to put a fist to your heart while I honor him.”

All three of them put their fists over their hearts while Helga murmured her prayer, with tears sparkling in her eyes. “I couldn’t honor ye much in life, Weavelord, but I can honor ye completely in death. Ye understood the important work we do protecting the Tree of Souls, aye, more than most. May you find peace in the green leaves and love in the warm sunshine.”

Amorfo had stopped as well, and he turned to them. He went to talk, but it was like he knew he would only be spouting nonsense. Instead, he tapped his chest with his fist three times, nodding. Both his sorrowful face and sorrowful snakes told them everything.

Perkle sighed from his spot behind the sled. “Poor Weavelord.”

Cal couldn’t talk, not after Helga’s prayer.

It was Gwen who asked, “So, Perkle, what happened to you?”

Perkle shoved the sled and got it going, the wheels squeaking. “Well, when Weavelord’s spiders grabbed me, I thought I was done for. Good thing I had my Gadget Escape ability that I got away, and that was how I found the HVAK vents in the first place. Didn’t know what they were at first. When it hit me that they were all over the main office, the basement, and the subbasement, I didn’t want anyone coming after me. That’s why I locked the vents in the drainage rooms with my Metal Seal spell. I think you must’ve found that out for yourself.”

So that explained how Perkle had escaped. And why Barbara Starmyst nor any of her dungeon cores had been able to get in the ductwork to capture Perkle.

Cal kept on crawling, but something was bothering him. “Wait. I understand how the ducts could be in the basement and the subbasement, but how could the HVAK be on the third level? That was just solid rock until Barb somehow created the three lower levels.”

Perkle laughed. “Had the same question myself, I did. I got the Divine Control Room back online and rigged up a special connection to it. Got a good sense of the situation, and Harvey did the rest. One of his abilities is ductwork creation. That’s how I got that vent into the third floor’s inner sanctum. I imagine that Barb is already taking precautions to stop us from doing that little trick again. Harvey is clever, though. Real clever.

Gwen called from behind. “Why the ‘K’? Can’t Harvey spell?”

“Don’t tease him about his spelling,” Perkle warned. He then lifted his voice. “Hey, Harvey, we’re just joking about all that.” Perkle sighed. “From what I can tell, he can be very sensitive, and we don’t want to get on his bad side. I’m thinking he’s far more cracked than the breakroom cores.”

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Cal felt a fresh dose of pain. “They might’ve made it, right? I mean, there’s a chance that they aren’t dead, right?”

No one answered.

Kronke finally said something. “Maybe not dead. Maybe we keep hope alive in our hearts. But what plan now?”

Perkle stopped. “We get to my secret hideout. I grabbed some things that should be able to help us.”

They went through a series of ducts until they found a four-way intersection with a big central room. Perkle had stacked up a ton of equipment and tools there, and even hooked up one of the old Electronic Abacuses to several of the boxes with screens. They all glowed, and Cal recognized the glittering lights and patterns of the Divine Control Room’s view of the Tree of Souls. It showed the Apothos being drained from those thousand plus worlds. Another screen showed the five levels of the dungeons and the various ductwork.

In the junction, they could all stand up and stretch. The metal groaned under their feet, and the scent of lemon lingered.

Perkle pointed to the first floor’s inner sanctum. “That crazy Starmyst lady isn’t running the Node from the Pedestal but using an Omega Audit Crystal.” The Gadget Gnome took a moment to fume. “It’s a shame that the technology is being abused like that. Makes me crazy with hate.”

“Yeah,” Amorfo said, pulling more paper and varnish off his neck. “Bike someone perusing the Omega Audit Pistol as an actual dungeon snore.” He then spouted off more nonsense.

They turned to Kronke for a translation. “He say people who use Omega Audit Crystal for dungeon core should be fired, if not tortured and killed.”

Cal lifted a finger. “I, uh, used an Omega Audit Crystal as a dungeon core. So…”

Amorfo shook his head in disgust, which made his semi-varnished snake hair sway.

Helga fed Hurricane some oats. “Do nae feel bad, Calcannis. Ye might be a freak of nature but that’s what we like about ye. Without delay, let us gaze upon yer new B-Class skills. I’m a might curious, I am.”

Cal sat down and leaned against a box of cables and wires. With his friends sitting around him, he cast his Triple I spell to show them his new Funk Soul Matrix.

He read through his new skills with growing excitement.

<<< ۝ >>>

Calcannis Illudere

Funk Soul Matrix

Race: Elven

Main Profession: Lethal Comptroller

Champion Path: Data Stormbringer

Level: Azure Branch Cultivator; B-Class, Rank 10

Primary Elemental Affinities: Luminosus/Umbra

Racial Abilities:

* Exceptional Senses

* Silent Foot

* Minor Boosted Charisma

Profession Powers (Updated!):

* Advanced Apothos Analysis

* Impressive Informational Image

* Enhanced Equipment Evaluation

* Upgraded Middle Middle Management!

* New! Enhanced Conference Call!

* New! Micromanage!

* New! Bullet Points!

* New! Bored Meeting!

* Identify Apothos

Champion Augments Updated!):

* Updated! Delusion Illusions!

* Mood Lighting

* Off the Books!

* Beguiling Data Visualization! BDV!

* New! Data Storm

Path of the Divine Auditor (Updated!):

* Updated! Intermediate Dungeon Meld!

* Updated! Ultra Audit

* Karmic Korrection (Locked)

* New! Dharmic Direction

<<< ۝ >>>

Cal didn’t know where to look first.

Kronke had the same reaction. “What all that mean, Cal? What comptroller?”

Cal could only talk in a whisper. “It’s a step above accountant, an executive position that oversees accounting practices at a much higher level. And it’s something I thought I’d never achieve. This is all too much.”

Gwen snorted. “Dharmic Direction. You wish. Is that your Double D spell?”

Cal hardly heard her.

Amorfo straightened his sunglasses and grimaced. “Straight, cue stink you’re on The Wrath of the Divine Auditor, but no way. You want to become a todd.” He winced and said more words, but again, no one could really understand him.

The troll paladin frowned. “He no think you audit for audit’s sake. He think you audit to gain power. Kronke know better.”

“I swear I just to audit,” Cal breathed. “I love the numbers and analyzing the Apothos flow.” He felt tears fill his eyes. “I just wanted to protect the Tree of Souls by optimizing dungeons and showing dungeon cores pie charts. I love pie charts.”

The paladin sighed. “And Kronke love pie.”

Perkle sputtered. “My friend, my friend, my friend, pie charts might be a part of your Mid-B upgrades. This is a miracle!” Then Perkle pulled out the oily rag to blow his large, hairy nose. “If only Weavelord were here to see it. He’d be proud, sir. He might yell a bit, but in his heart of hearts, he’d be proud.”

Helga nodded. “Aye, Calcannis. And I’m proud of ye. Ye let go of selfish desire and look what the Tree gave ye—more power than ye could shake a goatherd’s staff at.”

Gwen let out a grunt of pure annoyance. “Get on with it, Cal! Sure. Dad would’ve been proud.” She gulped down a sob. “Proud of you. Proud of me.” She then made several severe hand motions for Cal to continue.

Cal thought about hiding his abilities out a sense of privacy, but with everyone looking at him, he realized he trusted them all. Even Amorfo.

They would learn about his new abilities as a team.

It was what Dave would’ve wanted.