Weavelord was about to get seriously angry when there was a knock on the door. “We’d like to meet now, Weavelord. We have some work to do before the Fiscalia tonight. Can’t wait to get the final numbers of our tonight. And I still can’t believe Ryannis Illudere is going to be there.” From the voice, it was Amorfo, the leader of Audit Team One, also known as the AT1.

Weavelord swept one pair of glasses off his face and let them clatter onto his desk. He then used his human hands to touch the crystal. “I’ll meet with the AT1 now, Ethel. That’s fine.”

“Very well, Mr. Weavelord.”

The audio crystal faded.

The Spidercrat sighed. “It’s just Weavelord.” Then to the door. “Come in!”

Amorfo Deuce led his team into the room. Amorfo was a male Medusa, also known as a Dudusa, and had the snake hair to prove it. His eyes were covered by his sunglasses, which kept his petrifying gaze in check. He was dressed in his most casual suit, with the power tie, and sleek black shoes. It was the kind of high-priced suit that would work both at the office for a night out on the town. He was a very good-looking Dudusa, and smart, especially when it came to dealing with their clients. He had such charisma.

The rest of his team filtered in—Cardiganna Lowhand was the AT1’s structural engineer and a Sweater Wraith, which meant she was a mixture of math, cashmere, and undead terror. Barbara Starmyst, an attractive but ditzy centaur woman about the size of a Shetworld pony, was the AT1’s interior decorator. She had an eye for style and excelled in aromatics. Lastly, there was Inke, who was a tattoo troll, able to summon his many ink monsters as his own personal minions.

Cardiganna stood with her arms crossed. For being undead, her hair was perfectly coifed. Her skin had rotted into a dark obsidian. Her capri pants matched her shoes which matched her sweater. “I hope you’re going to give us our numbers early, Weavelord. The waiting is killing us. I know we outperformed those weirdos on Audit Team Six. We’re still you’re best, I know it.”

Barbara brushed her horse body against Cardiganna. “Now, now, Cardi. We can have friendly competition, but in the end, it’s the Celestial Nodes that are important. I’m thrilled Team Six was able to save not one but two whole worlds!” The centaur wore a flowery peasant blouse over the human part of her. Across her back she had a nice pink blanket that smelled like lavender.

Inke grinned. “Me excited for Fiscalia. There, me make fun of Kronke.”

Amorfo chuckled. “Yeah, that Kronke is one dumb troll. Lucky we have the smartest troll in all of DUDE.”

Inke shrugged. “Me not care I’m smarter. Me just like teasing Kronke. He have good self-esteem, so he can take teasing.”

Cardiganna looked disgusted. “Not sure why he has any self-esteem at all, given how pathetic he is. I thought you hated all of those Audit Team Six ‘people.’” She used air quotes.

Inke itched his huge green nose with fingers tattooed with spiderwebs. A few ink spiders fell away and vanished in mid-air. “Inke get jealous, maybe, of Kronke. He very handsome.”

Weavelord tossed a pair of his magical glasses down to the desk in frustration. “Are you four done? I have something very important to ask you about. And no, it’s not about the Fiscalia. And yes, world-saving notwithstanding, the AT1 still outperforms all the other teams, so you don’t have to worry.”

Cardiganna looked like she might roll her eyes at any minute. “Like we were worried. We know we’re the best audit time. What can we help you with?”

Barb nodded. “Yes, Weavelord. You look worried. Are you worried? I have some soothing bath oils that might put your mind at ease.”

Weavelord then told them about the embezzlement. “You just did an audit on Clothesvania. Did you notice anything strange?”

Amorfo shook his head. “No way, sir. We’d have reported it. You know Barbara does such a good job with our TAP reports.”

Barb clip-clopped this way and that. “Oh, and in the subbasement? Cell 12E? We haven’t been in the subbasement for ages, not since we were new and needed the practice. Since then, we’ve done just under 1500 audits. Amorfo is right. Our time on Clothesvania wasn’t all that special.”

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“Says you, Barb,” Cardiganna spat. “I found the cutest blouse in the Mangrove Markets. And Paula Ru gave you that scarf she made from the pack of dwarven raiders. Clothes from flesh. If I could choose to do it all over again, I would’ve gone with a Rot Weaver. I would’ve saved a fortune and looked fabulous.”

Weavelord snapped his fingers. “Yes, I read about all that. And Paula Ru is a skilled weaver. It’s doubly impressive because she has those big hands. Undead she-ogre. Very dexterous. We went to school together.”

Amorfo breathed out a nostalgic sigh. “Yeah. The Shadowcroft Academy. We all miss it.”

Weavelord looked at his best team approvingly. Like Connie the Water Cooler, they were all graduates of the best dungeon core university in all of creation, and yes, they were a handful sometimes, but though they bent the rules, they got results. Those four could’ve chosen any world in the multiverse to protect, but they’d come to work at DUDE instead.

Barb looked conflicted.

Weavelord nodded at her. “Ms. Starmyst. Is there something you want to say?”

She glanced at her team.

Inke motioned for her talk with his big fingers. “Talk, Barb. Just us here. We all friends.”

Weavelord liked to hear that. While they would always be his employees first, he liked that he was friends with the AT1.

Barb winced. “I have felt changes in the Apothos flow here on Tedium. I brought it up with the other teams, especially the Quatros, but they told me not to worry about it. Though Quisling did say that he’d been reading some files on the Divine Auditor. Do you know about the Divine Auditor?”

Quisling was the leader of the Quatros. All of them were Cloaked Specters. The Quatros, or Team Four, were a solid accounting team without a doubt.

“The Divine Auditor? The Perfect Flow? Yes.” Weavelord was confused, though. “What would that have to do with Apothos being drained from Clothesvania to our practice dungeon?”

“What if it was the work of the Divine Auditor?” Barb asked. “What if he wasn’t a hero, but a villain?”

Weavelord didn’t like the idea, and he told them so. Still, what had happened was unprecedented. It wasn’t like he would discount any possible culprit.

“Whatevs,” Cardiganna said with a snotty hair flip. “Did you see the Mind’s Eye woman there at the Illudere Family Singers show? Maya Daya. I wouldn’t put anything past her. I hate that we can’t get them on anything.”

The Mind’s Eye were a super-secret organization that some thought was a shadow government controlling the dungeoneering guilds. There were also rumors that they were an assassination squad working black ops for the Council of Dungeons. Which side was the Mind’s Eye on? No one knew.

Amorfo stepped forward and adjusted his sunglasses. “We’ll look into it more, bro. Maybe pop back over to Clothesvania and ask Paula Ru some questions. Did you know that before Paula, Magnus Elvis Maverick ran Clothesvania’s Heart Dungeon? Got himself a new brown suit for his trouble. Or so Paula said.”

Paula Ru knew Magnus Elvis Maverick?

It was well known that Magnus had been on Clothesvania, but he hadn’t known that Paula had met his hero.

Barbara gave him a smile. “We’ll look into it, Weavelord. Do you need anything else?”

Weavelord saw the time. The AT1 clearly wanted to get to lunch.

“Simply keep me updated,” Weavelord said. “And thank you for your excellent work.”

The AT1 filed out of the room, but not before Amorfo gave him a last grin. “Don’t worry, dude. We are on it. We’ll figure this mystery out.”

Weavelord believed DUDE’s most talented Dudusa.

Weavelord worked through lunch, organizing some other TAP reports, and then researching the Divine Auditor. There was precious little on the mysterious figure. He found a few poems, but poetry had no place in a government bureaucracy.

The hours flew by.

At five o’clock, Weavelord was just finishing up, when he caught the scent of a vanilla candle burning. He glanced at the on his desk, certain he’d see it burning.

It wasn’t. But that scent lingered, getting more and more intense.

Everyone had gone for the day, and he thought the AT1 had also left, since they wanted to dress up for the Fiscalia. Ethel was gone. Definitely. She’s called in to see if she could leave early to take care of some personal business. As if the specifics of her little life were more important than saving the universe.

Perkle was still in the building—the wheels of his steam-powered scooter had squeaked by not five minutes ago. The Gadget Gnome didn’t want to go to Cogsville alone, and so the Spidercrat had promised they’d go together.

Weavelord inhaled the scent. He thought he should be concerned, but as the odor increased, he relaxed more and more. Until he had no reaction when his office door opened.

The person’s voice seemed to be coming from far away. Or was it coming from inside his own mind?

Would you like a pendant, Mr. Weavelord? It’s a very special pendant that I made just for you. I know you’ll love it.

Weavelord wasn’t much for jewelry, but for some reason, he trusted the person completely. For the first time in a long time, Weavelord found himself filled with a certainty he enjoyed.

He put on the pendant, overflowing with confidence that it would add a little extra something to his outfit. In the end, it did far more than that. It told exactly what he needed to do. Being in the dungeon bureaucracy for so long, Weavelord knew how to follow directions and not to think too much about certain things.

He loved the pendant, and it loved him right back.