Gwen used her Gadgetry skill to repair the copier tank, so Cal didn’t need to use his Ruby Staff to bring the breakroom cores down into the inner sanctum. Gwen carried Perkle’s scooter, which had a Ra-Dee-Oo speaker mounted between the handlebars. For some reason, Perkle still used the dodgy technology.
Back in the inner sanctum, Amorfo had created a few statues, which stood lamely around a fountain—that was the pedestal now. Instead of water, creamed corn bubbled out of the top.
What kind of ability did Amorfo have that let him create a creamed corn fountain?
But first, they had to tell Amorfo about Gwen’s idea for a suicide run. Cal wasn’t looking forward to that. Amorfo would’ve jumped at the chance to prove his courage before Barb messed with his mind, but now, the Dudusa seemed far less stable.
Cal cleared his throat. “Amorfo, Gwen had an idea that maybe—”
His voice was cut off by Perkle calling out through the Ra-Dee-Oo speaker on his scooter. “Guys! I’m at the first level’s entrance, and we have company! Based on Gwen’s design, I created another two IBM tanks, but they uh, might not be enough. More Tot Thugs and Mean Ghouls are already coming up the main staircase. There’s a bunch, a whole army, but this time we’re ready. Got ‘em at a natural pinch point. Take that, Sloppy Joe!”
“Cardi’s minions.” Helga scowled. ‘It’s a good bet that Barb is using her minions to reinforce the other dungeons.”
Cal sent his consciousness to the entrance, where Perkle sat on one of the two IBM tanks there. The Gadget Gnome had added pencil crossbows and automatic rubber-band paperclip machine guns to the big tanks, but they also had big turrets that fired stapler grenades and other random office products. Side compartments opened to let loose rabid staplers and dust bunnies. While the bunnies attacked eyes, the staplers ripped into ankles.
The parallelograms on the back glowed as the turrets boomed and a toner cartridge grenade took out a Sloppy Joe. The detonation sent chunks of the creature into the others. The metal onions and green glass pepper pieces proved to be deadly shrapnel indeed.
With a few more barrages of lethal paper-clip machine gun fire, the stairwell was safe once more.
Perkle patted a tank. “I’ll hold ‘em off down here. I laid some traps in that electronics storage room, and I’ll keep in contact with Harvey. Perkle out.”
Cal loved having such a big team to work with.
He returned to his body in the inner sanctum. “Let’s move the filing cabinet room up to that first hallway in the entrance. They have to run the filing cabinet gambit up there. If they get through there, then they make it to Helga’s Rage Cave.”
Amorfo raised a hand.
Cal repeated what the Dudusa said.
Gwen grimaced. “Dave’s Cave is bad. The new name is worse. However, I’m dying to see what he made. That all begs the question—what are we calling this dungeon now? It is going to have Amorfo lame statue thing?” She caught herself. “Didn’t mean lame. Sorry. I’ll keep my opinions to myself.
Amorfo sighed.
Cal perused the electronics storage room off the main hallway, noting the changes that the Gadget Gnome had made to the room. He immediately wanted to call it Perkle’s Playpen.
Amorfo’s voice seemed impatient and a little tentative.
Gwen crossed her arms. “What are you guys talking about? It’s obvious that you’re talking.”
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The elven accountant accessed the Dudusa’s matrix, and then used his Triple I spell to display it for all to see. He also started a Conference Call, so they all could hear Amorfo.
<<< >>>
Amorfo Deuce
Guardian Core Matrix
Base Race: Dudusa
Current Evolution: Stone Gaze Guygon
Cultivator Class: Iron Trunk Cultivator; C-Class, Rank 4
Primary Elemental Affinities: Umbra/Terra/Aqua
Racial Skills:
* Stone Gaze
* Snake Speed
* Serpentine Updo
* Serpentine Dodge
* Legendary Charisma Sunglasses Augmentation
Art Finger
* Fountain Friends
* Statue Soldiers
* Mural Minions
* Monster Girl Manuscripts
War Finger
* Body Double Trouble
* Javelin Antics
Audit Finger
* Minor Apothos Manipulations
* Generate Report
* Trap Tap Tip Tricks
<<< >>>
Fullgeers hissed laughter through his milk steamer. “Only Iron Trunk Rank 4? This is surprising. I would’ve thought the leader of the famed AT1 would’ve been far more powerful.”
“Knock it off, Fullgeers!” Gwen smacked the coffee machine on his side. “Let’s keep things positive. Or I swear, I will force you to brew decaf from here on out.”
“Never,” Fullgeers whispered. “Death before decaf.”
Cal was rather impressed by the list of skills. Most likely, his base race had been key in giving him so much power.
The Dudusa stood straight and lifted his chin.
Cal found himself getting angry. “Wait. You can Generate TAP reports on command?”
Amorfo nodded.
The elven accountant had to close his eyes and take a minute to control his outrage. He spent untold hours writing TAP reports, and here was the AT1, basically cheating.
Amorfo’s voice was gentle.
Cal let go of his anger. It was fine. TAP reports were the last thing in the world they had to worry about.
On the bright side, Amorfo didn’t just have his magic, he had the talents of Audit Team Six and one brilliant Gadget Gnome.
Helga slid off Hurricane.
Amorfo sniffed.
Gwen raised her hand.
Amorfo winced.
Helga grunted.
The Dudusa didn’t pause. <—and so the monster summoning books turned out female. They weren’t very effective. If you don’t open the books, you don’t get the monsters.>
Fullgeers steamed and hissed. “Yes. Our optimism will be infectious. Dangerously so.”
The geezer freezer joined in. “I have a dozen hard-boiled eggs loaded up some frozen egg bombs. So yes, we are ready. Give us a yell, Daphne. Loud and proud!”
“LOUD AND PROUD!” the sink screamed.
Gwen got them moving out of the room.
Helga then took a moment to really take in the matrix.
The troll paladin frowned.
Amorfo’s snake hair looked confused.
Helga explained her plans, and they all got to work.
Hours passed, and for the time being, the breakroom cores, flanked by the two additional copier tanks, operated by either Gwen or Perkle, were able to keep the minions at bay. It was clear, though, that neither Cardi nor Barb were throwing their best at the first floor. They must’ve been working on their own defenses.
That made the task even harder, though Cal was just glad they could skip the second and third level and go directly against the fourth.
However, Amorfo wasn’t feeling so confident about the suicide run they wanted his guardian form to take. It was a big ask. Amorfo kept putting it off.
They needed the rest anyway, and they still had a bit more time before the forty-eight-hour deadline hit. Ji-Soo had mentioned that the Arcandor Initiative thought that it would take at least forty-eight hours for the Vanilla Master, a.k.a Barbara Starmyst, to ascend to godhood.
When they weren’t working, Audit Team Six grabbed sleep, rested, and ate. They were well fed thanks to Karl, well hydrated thanks to Daphne, and well caffeinated thanks to Fullgeers.
Going on their second night without sleep, Cal relied on his Funk Soul to see him through. Well, his Funk Soul and coffee.
Caffeine had a power that simple Apothos couldn’t touch.
If they survived, Fullgeers would be the real hero of the story.