The sink went crazy.
Cal dodged to the side as the faucet turned on full blast, throwing a stream of water that hit door, the wall, the whole side of the room. The freezer door opened, and several ice bombs went flying across the room. When the bombs hit the door, the water froze instantly, though they could hear the spiders scratching at the door, which meant fire and lots of it. Karl, the entity inside the freezer, would have to reapply his cold magic often to keep the breakroom sealed.
Fullgeers, the coffee maker, steamed and hissed. On the view screen was a scared looking face, the mouth opened into a round O. As a former Kitchen Ghast, Fullgeers had been the best prepped for work in the breakroom. Too bad he didn’t care if people liked his coffee or not.
Daphne, the faucet whimpered, spitting water. Her cracked gem was embedded in the back of the sink. As a former Saltwater Revenant, her water came out salty a lot of the time, though she could control the salt content. For example, she must’ve kept it low when she’d sprayed down the door, so it would freeze easier.
Karl the Ice Elemental’s gem flashed on the fridge, blinking in time to his words. He spoke like a cantankerous old man. “What in the frozen hells is going on around here? Why do those spiders keep trying to get in here? I don’t like spiders, Cal. Don’t like ‘em at all! Daphne is terrified!”
The faucet clanged as the pipes under the sink shivered.
“And Fullgeers is about to throw a cog.”
The view screen, several inches below Fullgeer’s broken core gem, showed a complicated machine breaking down, throwing gears.
Karl finished with a, “What in tarnation is going on?!”
Gwen winced. “Let’s stop with the interrobangs, Karl. People don’t like ‘em. We don’t know what’s happening. It seems a spider dungeon has taken over the building. I’m wondering if it’s Weavelord.”
“Dave?” Karl gasped. “Dave would never do us dirty like that.”
Fullgeers showed a happy smiling spider on his view screen.
Kronke drew close to Cal to heal him. Those burns were no joke. Cal had wondered why the breakroom hadn’t been full of webs like the rest of the building. It seemed Karl’s arachnophobia was useful. The windows showed the sunset outside. A few of the planet’s many moons were visible. The waiters at the Black Ledger were probably bringing out the first appetizers. Probably fried calamari. Cal was missing calamari. Such a disappointment.
Cal glanced down to see Kronke regenerating even as he healed Helga. Her dress was torn, showing several gashes and burhs. Gwen had managed to dodge all the attacks. She did have her Evasive Dodge ability, which let her evade all sorts of things, and not just physical attacks.
Kronke then came and healed Cal, and the whole breakroom smelled like baking cookies. The troll paladin’s face glowed as he whispered, “May the Baker mend your wounds and keep you cooking.”
While the healing was happening, Gwen went over, grabbed a glass, and started loading it with ice cubes from Karl’s frozen domain. “You don’t know my father then. He abandoned his family to become a dungeon core. Yeah, yeah, he was good at it, leveled up a bunch, got this dead-end job, but still…”
More surprise from the cracked dungeon cores of the breakroom.
Karl’s gem winked on and off as he spoke. “Weavelord is your father? He was human once? I figured he’d always been some kind of spidery race.”
The sink turned on full blast and the water formed into a pretty good image of the Spidercrat. And then of Gwen. And then a question mark.
Gwen put her glass under the faucet. “Hit me with the cold stuff, Daphne. Hold the salt.”
Water gushed down into the glass.
Gwen spun. “I don’t think Dave freaked out and filled the offices with webs. Dave is a lot of things, but he’s not a monster.” She paused. “Okay, he’s literally a spider monster, but he’s very short and kind of pathetic. Not much of a monster.”
Kronke was over by Fullgeers machine. He patted the side. “Why cores no talk? Only show pictures on screen. Pretty pictures. Happy machine.”
You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author.
Fullgeer’s screen showed a big happy face for the troll.
Helga let Hurricane eat napkins while she went over to the fridge, fished out a tall mug of beer, and then climbed up into a chair. She sat down heavily. “By my second cousin’s heart condition, that was a close one. The fire spiders were bad, aye, but what was in the main office might be worse. We didn’t get a good look at it.”
“We didn’t,” Cal agreed. He was too keyed up and dumbfounded to eat or drink anything. “Worse yet, we lost Perkle. He’s not only our eyewitness, but he was super useful.”
Gwen sighed. “He is super useful, Cal. We don’t know if he’s dead. He helped me a ton crafting my wings and the next iteration of crab spy blimp, which he dubbed the shrimp blimp. If the worm at them, I’ll be super sad.”
Helga rummaged through her saddle bags. “Fear not, Gwenivere. Let’s keep hope in our hearts.”
Cal was finally able to cast his Triple A spell.
What he saw surprised him.
<<<>>>
Triple A Enhanced Initial Results – Exterior Obstacle
Room Type: Area of Influence Manifestation
Room Name: The Web Wizard’s Warning
Room Purpose: To Warn People Away from The Web Wizard’s Wreck Rooms
Room Description: Not really a room, right? More like an office building. Or to put it more properly, where you’re at, with those cracked dungeon cores, is a series of rooms atop a dungeon. The Web Wizard has taken some time to put in some defenses outside his dungeon proper, which looks a whole lot like offense. You had the burns to prove it. But you’re healed, feeling better, and wondering what is going on.
There is at least one celestial node under you, and not the practice dungeon, but an actual Celestial Node drinking in Apothos form the Tree of Souls. It seems the Web Wizard has taken it over, and beware, beware, beware—he has spiders, fireproof webs, and a large worm thing working for him.
And keep in mind, the main floor of your office building isn’t even his dungeon. This is the doorstep of his dungeon. Hope you like spiders. Or you brought a big can of bug spray. You’re gonna need it.
Historical Note: Ten thousand years ago, with the rise of the current Dungeon Academy systems, the Council of Dungeons decided to create an organization to help the guardians of the Celestial Nodes optimize their abilities. Interestingly enough, the Council of Dungeons created the Department of Universal Dungeon Efficiency first and then the Arcandor Initiative, which hunts down and kills rogue dungeon cores. Yes, the Council had the hope that no dungeons would turn bad, and that all those dungeon guardians needed was a little kick in the pants in the form of an audit every now and again. I like that kind of optimism.
Hence, on the world of Tedium, far away from the important worlds, the Council of Dungeons have their headquarters, and the Department of Universal Dungeon Efficiency has its own headquarters near the town of Cogsville, named after the accounting term Costs of Good Sold. I can appreciate both the pun and the accounting humor. Anway, DUDE was created to keep an eye on the multiverse, though it was decided that they wouldn’t be built on any of the existing Celestial Nodes on Tedium. Tedium used to have only three Nodes, but now there are eight.
A Note That Might Be A Hint: The Department hasn’t had much turnover in its ten-thousand-year history, but it has had some. Could this be some angry executive from the past coming to take over? It’s unclear. There is that mysterious corner office no one ever uses.
Apothos Usage Effectiveness: Green
Challenge Level Rating: C-Class (What? C-Class? It’s a low C-Class. Almost B. Does that help?)
Manifestation Type: Aer, Ignis, Toxicus
<<<>>>
Cal turned on his ability to broadcast data, his Triple I spell, or Impressive Informational Image, and broadcasted the results. “Looks like we’re facing the Web Wizard and not the Weavelord.”
“It’s just Weavelord,” Gwen whispered. “Come on, Cal. Keep up.”
“Have any of us heard of the Web Wizard?”
Karl’s gem flashed as he talked. His freezer door was half-open. “Wait. Did you say Web Wizard? And how come there are eight celestial nodes now? And where are the other audit teams? Why did they send you whippersnappers? You’re not even dungeon guardians!”
Gwen slammed the freezer door closed. “Shut up, Karl. We don’t have the time for dungeoneer prejudice. A couple of things, Cal. For one, are we going to talk about the fact that the semi-sentient weapon that Kronke picked up has a name now and might’ve become fully sentient? And what is this about a mysterious corner office?”
Kronke raised a big green hand. “Pinkerton say she feel comfortable around me. So she go full sentiment.”
Gwen frowned. “Not the right word. But you do have a calming effect on people.”
Cal let out a breath. “I have my worries too, Gwen, but we need the Pink Reaper. As for the corner office, I don’t know a thing about it.”
Helga set aside a piece of beaded fabric and continued to look through her saddle bags. “I know one thing. To get to the corner office, we’d have to fight the worm, and that’s not something we should take lightly.”
Gwen snapped her fingers. “Okay, fine. Let’s put the scythe and the office on the back burner. But where are the Quatros? They should be here any minute to save us, right?”
That’s when the windows of the breakroom, which weren’t covered in webs, suddenly went pitch black. A woman’s voice filled the room.
“Lock down achieved per the Arcandor Initiative Accords, chapter three, paragraph five, section two. No one goes in, but more importantly, no one comes out. This quarantined site can now be cleansed of all Apothos and Celestial Nodes without warning under the discretion of Arcandor Initiative Management, a senior agent, or other entities with said authority. Site 19, Tedium nodes four through eight, will be purged of all Apothos in in 10, 9, 8, 7…”
Cal couldn’t help but think that the countdown was going a bit too fast.
Cleansing the building of all Apothos would cleanse Audit Team Six and the breakroom dungeon cores right off the map. In less than six seconds, everyone would die.