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Dungeon Accountant Book 2 - The Omega Audit
Chapter 30 - Fruity Perfume Fun

Chapter 30 - Fruity Perfume Fun

Cal saw a glowing shape, at the other end of the room, which was no longer a biker’s paradise, but storage for the Department’s party planning committee. Buffet tables lined the walls where round circular tables were stacked waist high. Boxes of crepe paper sat near more folding chairs.

Near the back stood Barbara Starmyst, a centaur with braided hair in a peasant blouse. Around her swirled light that coalesced into lemons, oranges, and black currants, if Cal had to guess.

“Barb?”

The sweet-faced centaur smiled. “Cal. Yes. Thank goodness. Your spirit was hard to find down here. There is so much Apothos flowing into this place. I’m lucky I found you at all. We don’t have much time. Is it okay if I hold your hand?”

“My hand?” Cal broke out in a cold sweat. “Barb, I can’t get too close. There’s someone down here with us, someone called the Vanilla Master, and I’m sorry to say, but you might be under his control. This is a bad time to ask me to trust you.”

The centaur sighed and seemed to fade a little, as did her lemon-scented fragrance. “Cal. I’m sorry to ask, but if you don’t hold my hand, I’ll lose you. I’m not really here. I’m reaching out to you using the power of my aroma therapy, and while I believe strongly in my Aromatic Arts, nothing beats physical contact.”

Cal crept closer, holding the Ruby Staff. “Barb, I want to trust you, but I can’t risk it. Are you under the control of the Vanilla Master?” He searched her neck for a potpourri pendant, and she was wearing a necklace, but it was covered by her blouse.

Barb flickered. “I don’t have much time, but yes, a part of me is enslaved to My Vanilla Master. He’s not here to hurt us, Cal. I trust him, but I completely understand your doubt. I honor your valiant, but careful spirit.”

Cal risked a few extra steps. The centaur’s scent grew stronger, and he saw her more clearly. But was he doing permanent damage to his sinuses? That orange in her perfume sure was strong. Or was it lemon? Could he trust his own nostrils?

“Don’t blame the AT1,” Barb said quickly. “It all happened so fast. One minute I’m enjoying a scented candle, and the next, I’m wearing this garish pendant and creating a dungeon I really don’t want to create. It’s a good thing I’m so powerful that I could divide my soul into its own special scent. Again, my Aromatic Arts are so amazing.”

“And strong,” Cal muttered, putting a hand to his nose. “What can you tell me about him?”

“Not much, I’m afraid.” Barb paused. “Why are you here, Cal? I mean, sorry, that came across as a little aggressive. I want to honor your journey. How did Team Six make it into the building but no one else? Well, no one else I can detect.”

“Team Three, the Freundschaftsbeziehungen, stayed to buy some of my brother’s merch at the Fiscalia. If Anheiser Dos Equis hadn’t wanted a T-shirt, they would’ve joined us. Perkle found us. I think the Quatros might be involved somehow. They just vanished, and I have no idea where they are. Maybe the Vanilla Master is a member of the Mind’s Eye.”

“I don’t think the Mind’s Eye is real.” The centaur sighed. “As for Quisling, I never trusted him. Could the Quatros be behind this?”

Cal took a step back. The perfume was just so strong. “Barb, I have to tell you, I’ve seen the AT1’s TAP reports. The worlds being drained of Apothos are all worlds that the AT1 had audited. Dave, I mean Weavelord, said someone was embezzling Apothos and everything points to the AT1. Could Amorfo or Cardiganna have gone rogue? Inke had the pendant. I don’t think he’s behind this.”

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Barb’s face darkened. “We’d never embezzle Apothos. No, it’s not the AT1. Amorfo and Cardi are under the Vanilla Master’s spell.” She thought for a minute. “The Quatros shadowed us on several occasions. Quisling might’ve set up some magic. Oh, Cal, this is horrible. This all smells horrible, and I don’t like horrible odors. If only I could make the whole multiverse smell better with my Aromatic Arts.”

Cal couldn’t wrap his head around this aromatherapy thing, but he didn’t say anything. “Both Weavelord and Inke talked about the Vengeance. The Vanilla Master seems to have an ax to grind.”

“Vengeance with a capital ‘V’?” Barb asked, frowning.

Cal nodded. Hope filled his heart.

Until Barb dashed it. “Of course it would be a capital V. No. I have no idea. But listen, I’ve been able to use my scent magic to get outside the Arcandor Initiative’s barrier. Ji-Soo wants to go the safe route and kill us all. I think she wants to use this highly questionable NUKE magic. You know that, right?”

“Yeah, we’ve been communicating with her through some Blackberries we have.”

That made Barb roll her eyes. “That’s terrible. Me reaching out through my scent magic is much better.” She paused, flickering. “I don’t have much time, and this is taking a ton of Apothos. Speaking of which, are you plugged into the Celestial Node?”

There was such disbelief and admiration in her eyes. Cal kinda felt embarrassed. “I was, you know, to help Dave out. The Vanilla Master somehow limited the flow of Apothos to the first level’s Celestial Node.”

The centaur smiled. “Oh, on first names with our manager? It was always Weavelord with us. What changed?”

“I think him trying to kill us changed things. He seems different.”

“Could he still be under the influence of this Vanilla Master?”

Cal felt the suspicion. How much could he trust Barb? “I think Weavelord is back on our side, but we had to imprison Inke. We, uh, melted his guardian form in Daphne’s saltwater. The breakroom cores are working with us, thank goodness. We’d be dead without them.”

Barb faded more, and Cal lost the scent for a minute. A second later, it was back, stronger than before. “I’m losing the fragrance, but before I’m gone, I have to tell you something else. Someone is stopping Ji-Soo from NUKEing you, someone from way high up in the Department. Not sure who it is, but he’s even more powerful than Mr. Jamalzak. It’s kind of surprising since the Arcandor Initiative has jurisdiction over this whole operation. Don’t miss updates to Ji-Soo, or we’ll all die. You’re not going back to your old dungeoneering ways, are you, Cal? Maybe you’re the Vanilla Master.”

“No,” Cal said quickly. “There’s still ten cores down here, though. There’s a rogue element that we have to nail down. You know, maybe the Vanilla Master has been controlling your team for a while now, Barb. That would explain why all the worlds your team audited are being drained.”

Cal couldn’t stand the stifling odor and he took another step back.

The centaur turned transparent. “Cal, are you there? Anything else you want to tell me?”

“We have control of two of the cores. If the Vanilla Master’s plan needs all five, he won’t be able to get his Vengeance or whatever. Ji-Soo doesn’t need to—”

Barb vanished, but her perfume lingered even as less and less fruit hung in the air. “Sorry, Cal, but I’m running out of Apothos. The powerful person interfering with Ji-Soo is probably the Vanilla Master. We’re in trouble. Maybe Perkle can do something, but I can’t pin him down. Do you know where...”

Then she was gone.

For a second, Cal found himself alone, surrounded by the motorized bicycles and the tattoo parlour reclining chairs in the Antechamber of the Biker club. At least now they could submit a full report to Ji-Soo. But what if that was exactly what the Vanilla Master wanted?

Cal was about to return to Inke’s inner sanctum when he felt his consciousness leave him. A message flashed in his eyes.

<<<>>>

Basic Dungeon Meld activated. Dave must’ve been feeling lonely because he triggered this action. Two Celestial Nodes, even with limited flow, is a whole lotta love.

<<<>>>

He didn’t feel his body hit the floor, but he knew there would be bruising. Ouch.