"Oh Chloe!" a familiar bahing voice called out to her. "Thank heavens you're alive!"

Ramone stood in the back alley with his hooves placed together and much relief on his face. "Even with that double martini I had last night, I couldn't help but hear the struggle in your room. I would have dashed in to help you, but... I'm afraid all I could do is sow the assailent a better outfit."

"It's not a problem, Rammy," Chloe said, getting up out of the trash. "Django didn't even attempt to kill me. He just hit me on the back of the head twice."

She rubbed her head. "It smarts, but I could really use someone with his wicked skill! I could imagine him knocking out big dumb pirate goons with that blade!"

"I wouldn't advise it," Ramone responded. "This Django fellow is clearly unorthodox, breaking into people's houses and searching through their belongings."

"That's all he did?!" Chloe said, her eyes wide.

"That and leave an M scratched in the side of our house," Ramone muttered. "And a mysterious key…"

Ramone held out a jangling key on a ring with a small tab that read, " Palm House 76."

"Wait a minute," Chloe said, a catlike expression lighting up her face. "What if this is the house Django is staying? And that bozo accidentally dropped it!"

Ramone shuddered over the thought. "And you expect us to march right into that hive of scum and villainy?!"

Chloe winked and bragged with a manic grin. "Rammy, I'm the first pirate queen! Hives of scum and villainy are my residence of choice!"

***

Palm House 76 stood at the corner of the resort town. It looked like every other palm house, but upon closer inspection, the windows were heavily boarded up, and there was an enormous lock built into the porch entrance.

"Clearly," Ramone scoffed. "The villain doesn't care about aesthetic. Those window boards absolutely clash with the rest of the vacation house."

"I don't think he cares, Rammy," Chloe remarked. "He's clearly hiding something, and it's up to us to find out what!"

Chloe and Ramone carefully stepped onto the front porch, making sure there weren't any traps laid out for them. Chloe inserted the key in the metal lock and carefully undid it. "Walla!" Chloe exclaimed. "Seems this was the key to the building."

"That's what I was afraid of…" the satyr shivered.

They stepped into the building and couldn't believe their eyes and more surprisingly, their noses. The entrance way wafted of aphrodisiac. Ramone remarked of it immediately. "Such a lovely smell. I once met a guy through a personal ad who loved aphrodisiac!"

The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.

"Too much information…." Chloe muttered. "But it is odd. Why does a killer like this have a house that smells like aphrodisiac?"

Their eyes took in an equally bizarre sight. In the dining room (which looked remarkably similar to Chloe and Ramone's palm house) there were tons of newspapers pasted over the wall. They crept over to the wall of paper and Chloe began to read the headlines. The Island Herald headlines conisted of papers like: "Famed Swordsmaster of Montero lineage dies of mysterious disease."

"Swordsman Son of Montero slashed to death by unknown assailant."

"Who is Montero?" Chloe said, widening her eyes. "Why have I heard that name before?"

Ramone scratched his head. "The only Montero I know of is in the history books which I had to read as a goat kid: Vanessa Montero. She was an old queen, quite talented in the ways of the sword. It's rather ancient history if you ask me."

"She must be the ancestor of these sword wielders who died!" Chloe said with sudden illumination in her eyes.

"Egads!" Ramone shuddered again. "What if Django is murdering these swordspeople. Killing off the queen's lineage one by one?!"

Chloe gazed at a pictobox on the table: a brown rectangular camera that developed photos all by itself. She opened it up, and found a singular photo. She stammered in shock upon seeing it.

"It's a photo of Rene...our waiter."

She held out the photograph and displayed it to Ramone. There was a noticible red circle around the lollypop that Rene always sucked on. Red ink it seemed.

"Why I'll be a horny goat!" Ramone gasped. "our waiter! Why is he a target of this villainious slasher?!"

Chloe looked at the photo again and puzzled ove it. "Hmm," she said.

Her eyebrows raised high. "What if...Rene is secretly another Montero. Or of their lineage?!"

"Good heavens!" Ramone remarked. "I never thought of that! This monster could be in for the kill!"

Chloe nodded. "I think we have to get back to Shady Palms hotel before our waiter becomes a shish kabob!"

"Merci me!" Ramone cried. "He's too handsome to die!"

***

Running with great intent and drive, Chloe and Ramone reached the rainy patio of the outdoor resturant. Rene stood beneath the shelter of one of the umbrellas. He polished the table with a dish rag and collected the plates.

"Ah bonjour!" he said with a kind smile. He continued to suck a lollypop. "Have you come to enjoy such another ravishing dish courtesy of our resort?"

"I know you and the food here are scumptuous," Ramone shouted. "but you're in danger, good sir!"

A puzzled expression came across Rene's face. He put his plate down and stared at Ramone. "What kind of danger do you speak of, goatman?!"

"Rene!" an unsually high pitched and accented voice shouted from below the threshold of the patio. "At long last, I will kill you, prettyboy. Your head is as good as mine."

At the foot of the resort steps was the man who Chloe fought the previous night. A fire blazed in his chocolate eyes as his sword was raised as high as his voice. "Finally, I will have my revenge!"

"Django!" Chloe cried, and she scratched her smooth chin. "I had no idea you were a eunuch."

Over the remark cast at his high voice, Django nearly stumbled. "I am not...ahem."

But the killer quickly regained his balance and extended his sword. "Step aside, tiny girl or I will run you through too!"

Chloe boldly smiled. "If you want to hurt this innocent man. You'll have to go through me...literally."

"And who are you?!" Django demanded.

"Chloe Cutlass!" she said stepping forward with her hands on her hips. "The first queen of the pirates!"

"Well, Chloe, queen of the pirates," Django sarcastically said, dramatically rolling his 'r' as he swung his blade. "I ain't going down without a fight, amigo!"