There was one conundrum that awaited the Whaleboat's pirate crew-- one thing that annoyed Chloe Cutlass to the core: "How the snail are we gonna breath underwater and get inside this fish god! None of us, but Luna have gills!"
As they stood in the center of the Fishysauz domain, Luna looked around innocently, shaking her pink head fins. "Well," she said in a whispy voice. "Fortunately, we Fishysauz are engineering ways for you humans to breath underwater!"
"Wow," Vinnie the Eel muttered. "So you guys aren't all bad!"
Luna nodded politely. "Most fishysauz don't hate air breathers at all. I don't know what's gotten into the captain and the king. I just have a bad feeling about what's going on with them."
"Yep!" Chloe nodded, "We'll deal with those jerks later! Right now, let's purge this big fish of his sickness!"
Monica who had been silent the whole time shivered. She turned a pale shade of green and nervously murmured, "But uh...you know you, doesn't anyone have any qualms...?"
"About what?" everyone asked.
"I dunno know," Monica cried. "Getting eaten by a giant guppy!"
Chloe strolled over to her friend. She raised her eyebrows and placed her hand in Monica's. "If you're afraid, swordslady, I can protect you!"
"Eh!" Vinnie growled and placed his hand in Monica's other hand. "Movin' in on my turf are we? It is I, the glorious loverboy gangsta, who will protect this beautiful senorita!"
Monica whipped her hands away from Chloe and Vinnie. "I don't need protection from any of you! I'm just kinda grossed out by what we'll find in there."
"Ay dio mios!" she gasped, holding her hands to her cheeks. "I doubt he brushes his teeth! Do they even make breath mints for giant fish?!"
"Per'aps," Abacab said with a hardy grin. "He'll have some for an after-dinner snack after he eats us!"--the captain removed a small plastic container of fish shaped breath mints--"I brought some Fish-Tacs for him, just in case!"
He began to laugh loudly with an 'arr har har!' causing Monica to whimper.
"My thoughts exactly, my dear!" Ramone answered, waving his hands. "I was planning on taking a one way trip to some fine dining, but now it turns out, I'm gonna be the fine dining instead!"
Luna, who had left, returned with a curious panacea in her hands. "I've fetched some of this from the cornershop!"
Emblazoned on the bottle was the logo of Fishy Fizz, which featured an inebriated fishysauz belching bubbles.
"Arr," Abacab said with a shake of his head. "Ye just got us some soda...?"
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"Well..." Luna said with a copy expression, and Abacab snatched it away.
"Thank ye missy! I'm parched!"
"Wait, don't drink it," Luna cried.
"Why?!" Abacab asked.
"Because," Luna said with a knowing smile. "It's your way beneath the waves!"
Everyone raised their eyebrows. Not one of them knew how soda was going to help them out...until they took a sip.
***
The central ocean kingdom was home to many strange creatures that lingered in the deep blue. Unusual anemones curved and arched, twisted coral grew from the ground and strange wall-eyed fish all decorated the oceanic garden with vibrant colors, but nothing was odder than the drunken goatman wandering on the ocean floor.
"Wheeeee!" Ramone said, and he hiccuped loudly under the sea. His head was encased in an air bubble as he stumbled on the shadowy ocean floors. "Thiiisss stuuuuff is smashing!"
Everyone followed him with similar air bubbles surrounding their head. "Luna!" Chloe said with a smile. "This is awesome! What is this stuff?!"
"Fishy Fizz is air bubble cola!" Luna said with glee. "It lets you belch long lasting air bubbles. Pretty handy and with no side effects!"
"Looooook at meeeeee!" Ramone sang operatically. "I'm ooooonnnn the bottom of the sea."
"Just don't drink too much of it," the female fishysauz said with a playful roll of her eyes.
"At least Rammy is happier now!" Chloe said with a smile.
"Si," Monica chuckled. "Anywhere there's alcohol he's happy!"
"So, pinky!" Vinnie the Eel demanded. "Where's dis big fishy?!"
"These are his sacred grounds," Luna said softly. "But I don't know where he is?"
Ramone raised his hands high. "Hiiiiii sea!" he bellowed like an unemployed opera singer and lowered his hands. "Low sea!"
"Sure hope this cabron isn't gonna scare away the giant fish," Monica muttered.
"Uh guys???" Vinnie gasped, his yellow pompadour sticking out of his bubble. "Who is dis fish face behind us?!"
Everyone turned around, and realized they were staring death itself in the face. Taking up the size of half the domain was a bilge mammoth of a fish. Its eyes like glowing beacons of red fire blazed in the depths of the sea. The fish's nostrils, the size of small caverns blasted jet streams of bubbles as it sniffed the bodies of its prey. A spherical glowing antenna of white-blue light dangled off its head brightening their faces.
"All hail the jawmighty Alwesome!" Luna said in her whispy voice. She crossed her eyes in confusion. "Or was that the Almighty Jawesome?! Anyway...hail fishy!!!"
Jawesome's eyes, which were strangely beady for a massive fish, shifted to each member of the party. Its antenna glowed brightly, emulating a rich, warm, light blue hue over them.
"Errr...crewmates?" Chloe asked, feeling somewhat confused. "How are we supposed to get inside this fishy?"
Captain Abacab ruffled his beard from inside his own personal air bubble. "Good question, lassy! Perhaps, we can challenge him in to a game of... GO FISH!"--the captain threw out a deck of cards that harmlessly floated away.
"Well, that idea's up crappers creek!" the captain remarked, "Anyone else got any ideas?"
"Per'aps," Vinnie the Eel remarked, his voice low and boastful. "Yous guys have forgotten the suave stud muffin in your presence!"
His arms shifted into the forms of neon green-and-yellow electric eels that snarled and crackled with electricity. "I truly have an electrifying way with da ladies...and giant fishies!"
"Wait..." Chloe cried out. " Stop you palooka! No!!!"
Vinnie fired off charges of electricity that spiraled in circles, striking Jawesome in his oversized mouth. The electricity absorbed into the beast's thick skin, leaving nothing left. "Say wha?!!" the gangster gasped.
"That was a shocker, estupido," Monica muttered beneath her breath.
All the while, the big fish continued to observe the six odd character, and at last, Jawesome's eyes lit up and its millions of pointy teeth spread into a mile wide smile.
"Uh..hi fishy?" Chloe squeaked before it opened its mouth like a gaping abyss and swallowed them whole.