Valcom pointed her anchor directly at Monica's head as they traveled down the stairs. "A word of warning," the inspector urged. "Trying anything funny and I'll knock your pretty little head off your shoulders."

The swordswoman shook her head. "Oh I'd never try anything funny. It's against my code of honor to tell a lie! Besides, I don't even have my sword. How could I do anything against your muscle!"

Valcom nodded, her spiked dark hair balancing precariously on her head. "I cannot deny that. There is no way you can hurt me."

"So may I go to the bano?" Monica pleaded. "Sitting through this long winded political speech is absolute torture!"

"Fine..." Valcom nodded and they continued to the ladies room in the other tent.

Monica was silent, but inside her mind, the gears were turning. She walked into a makeshift series of stalls erected in the corner of the tent. Inside, there was a toilet bowl. She did not really have to go to the bathroom but it gave her time to think.

There was a technique in her village, similar to the Loveblade, but it was swordless. It was known as the Love Illusion. And it involved tricking your foe into thinking they were in love with you.

I'm gonna go by the spiked hair, military status and muscular appearance, Monica thought, that this senora might be playing for the opposite team. Her eyes glinted, there's only one way to find out.

Valcom banged on the stall. "Hurry up, I know you're a woman but it doesn't take that long to go to the bathroom!"

"Alright!" Monica said to herself. "Here goes nothing."

She unhooked the latch on the stall and staggered out of the bathroom. Monica mumbled and looked at the ground. Her legs trembling. "Ugh..." she groaned. "It hurts!"

"What hurts?!" Valcom demanded. "Are you constipated or something. I don't blame you. All we serve is bread at this circus."

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Monica continued to look at the ground and tremble. "No...come closer...I can't say it out loud."

Valcom raised an eyebrow. "Lady," the inspector grunted. "If you're trying something funny, I'm not gonna fall for it. And if you really have stomach problems, you should try laxatives."

"No..." Monica growled. "You got me already. I'm just in pain."

Valcom tentatively walked over to Monica, with her anchor pointed at the swordswoman's head. Monica avoided eye contact, even as the hulking woman came closer. "Ugghhh..." Monica groaned as Valcom placed her hand on her shoulder.

"Now tell me," Valcom demanded. "What hurts?!"

Monica looked up with a glint in her eye. "My love for you, mis amores!" She transferred the kinetic energy she used in the Loveblade to her lips and kissed Valcom right on the cheek.

The mammoth woman froze stiller than a statue in a snow storm. Her face draining of its color. Monica waited for the blast of her retractable anchor arm but it never came. "Well?" Monica asked. "Are you head over heels now?"

The sound of footsteps from outside the bathroom echoed and all of a sudden, a familar voice popped in. "Ey toots!" Vinnie the Eel popped in. "How are you doin'?! I know dis is da ladies room, but you fine ladies hadn't returned and I wanted to make sure that my one true love is okay!"

Suddenly, Valcom turned bright red. "GRRRR!" she growled. "Monica Montero is MY true love!"

Without warning, Chief Inspector Valcom fired her anchor arm right at Vinnie the Eel's head, nearly grazing his pompadour. "Ey! What's goin' on?!" he exclaimed.

The Chief Inspector who had turned redder than a hot pepper snorted like a bull ready to charge. "You called the most beautiful, delectable, amazing, luscious woman in all the Four Seas, your true love. But she is mine! I plan to write her hours of existentialist poetry and how she makes all of my meaninglessness worthwhile!"

"Well now..." Vinnie chuckled. "Seems I found out what you goils are doing in tha bathroom and to that I say, looks like I gots a new rival in love!"

Monica turned a matching shade of red. "You idiot! That's not what's going on at all. Stop talking before she pounds your head in."

Vinnie chuckled in a manner that sounded like "heh-heh-heh." "Seems somebody wants a charge from my Killer Watt Eels!"

Valcom stomped angrily towards Vinnie. "I'm gonna wring your neck grease monkey!"

Monica sighed. "Ay dio mios. I did not expect a love triangle here."

Vinnie and Valcom were about to face off in a Battle of Love when suddenly there was a loud clang. Valcom wobbled back and forth and dropped to the floor. Monica grinned, holding a toilet paper rack over her head.

Vinnie clasped his hands together. "Monica my love! You saved me with the second most amazing rack of yours!"

"Do you want me to knock you out too!" she exclaimed, causing Vinnie to withdraw himself. "Quick, before she wakes up, we really need to find out what is truly going on in this political circus!"