“Mmm…it’s a fine day with you—”
Allison froze in place along with her usual morning greeting as she was turning under her duvet, a sharp pain suddenly manifesting in her chest as if she’d just been stabbed in the heart. Only seconds earlier, her excitement was already building from the moment she’d awoken at the thought of having Remy be the first thing she’d see again that morning. As her blurry vision began to clear, however, she saw the other half of her bed empty. Her memories of the night before came back to her in an instant, and the dagger in her heart began to twist. Her blissful weekend was over, and the time had come for their lives to resume as scheduled. Leading separate lives, living in separate homes and sleeping in separate beds. She knew all along that it all had to come to an end at some point, but none of her attempts to prepare herself for that moment seemed to matter to the pain that came with seeing half of her bed cold and empty. With a frustrated sigh, she turned over again and shut off the alarm that had woken her before pushing herself out of bed. At the very least, trying to stay ahead of her thoughts was giving her far more energy than she usually had to spare so early in the morning.
Sleep hadn’t entirely left her, slowing her steps and causing her to stumble the entire time she dressed for work. Another grumble of frustration with herself came when she took off her fuzzy pajama pants and a worn t-shirt several sizes too large for her that she was almost certain had belonged to one of her brothers at one point. That alone should’ve been a dead giveaway that Remy wouldn’t be there to greet her; Allison would’ve sooner gone to work dressed that way than she’d have allowed Remy to see her in such a state. By that point, her laciest silk camisoles and panties were either with the laundry or still waiting to be worn, a distant memory now that there was nobody to allow to see them. There was some consolation to be found in dressing for bed with only comfort in mind, but not nearly enough for Allison’s liking.
Nearly dressed and ready to leave, Allison was on her way to check herself in the bathroom mirror one last time and stopped short as she caught sight of the sliding glass door in her living room. The night beyond was as black as ink, and the lights inside showed her reflection in the glass. For just a moment, she could almost see Remy in the reflection behind her, the stoic mask faltering in favor of confusion as Allison all but dragged her across the living room floor to the balcony. Allison smiled as she remembered that look of confusion as it slowly faded into anticipation that seemed to match her own, her heart hammering madly as she prepared to lay her soul bare. Looking back, it seemed foolish to doubt that it would end in any way other than it did but, at the time, all she could do was hope. It felt like such a simple thing to share in the present, but that was only after it was received and accepted. At the time, fear made it easy to forget that Remy wasn’t as cautious with anything as she was with Allison’s heart. Her eyes misting, Allison tore herself away from the reflection and the memory, her desperation to return to that moment already unbearable as she stood there alone.
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Applying as much makeup as she dared before standing in the heat of a kitchen for the next twelve hours, Allison checked over her appearance one last time before pulling her hair into a chignon and pinning it into place. Inspecting herself again, she noticed several faint bruises along her neck now that her hair was no longer hiding them from view. While barely noticeable, closer inspection revealed that they became progressively darker as they trailed down to her collarbone. They marked the passing of time, the clarity of each showing when she’d received them and how recently. The first from Friday night was all but gone, but more had followed as the weekend carried on. There was another from the next morning, one from the evening that followed, and at least two from the hours leading up to the moment they finally parted on Sunday evening. Quickly turning as scarlet as the marks had been when they were first left on her skin, Allison giggled as she reached for concealer.
This was another moment that she knew was coming, but there was nothing like pain to come from thinking of it this time. Remy had warned her after the first, and had come quite close to convincing Allison to not make a habit of collecting them. All of her work had been undone by a single moment in which they’d parted after a particularly passionate kiss and, trying to collect herself, a heavy breath from Remy blew past and tickled the skin along Allison’s neck. That was the moment when Allison lost the ability to care, tangling her fingers in Remy’s hair and pulling her closer as her conscious thoughts faded into obscurity. More warnings followed after the damage was again done, but Allison could only plead for more. The warmth that flooded through Allison at the sight of Remy’s exasperated smile as she relented and began to playfully bite at the delicate skin was the second most powerful thing she’d felt in that moment.
As she was preparing to cover the marks, Allison stopped dead with the sudden realization that, for the first time since waking up that morning, she felt something other than sorrow or loss. The feelings were barely noticeable, buried under the weight of one of the most powerful memories she had of their time together. Allison stared at the marks on her reflection and smiled, a sense of gratitude now joining the building emotions she was trying to process. She had something to remind her of Remy and their time together that she could take with her, something powerful enough to push aside the incessant reminders that they were apart. Knowing that Remy would be beside herself when she found out and already working on a reasonable explanation for what she was about to do, she put the concealer down and left it on the counter as she headed for the door. The day would no doubt be filled with endless questions requiring obvious but long answers, but Allison looked forward to them all. A day filled with excuses to keep thinking about Remy was exactly what her heart needed most.