Of the seemingly hundreds of thoughts clamoring for Remy’s attention, one in particular came into focus as she stood up from the passenger seat of Allison’s car. For the first time since accepting Allison’s invitation to her apartment, Remy’s heart was bordering on what she could reasonably consider calm. Her pulse had been racing out of control for what felt like hours, and it had taken all of the focus she could summon to keep herself moving forward and speaking normally. Internally, she had gone into a full panic as she struggled to make sense of the incoming flood of emotions attacking her heart from every angle, an endless stream of fears, hopes and desires pulling her in every direction at once. As she looked around the parking lot and up at Allison’s apartment building, though, she was noticing a growing sense of calm as she took in the illuminated walkway to the front doors, a port in the distance in the midst of the raging storm in her mind. She smiled as the way forward again became apparent.
Wherever you are…that’s where I belong.
The storm continued to subside as Allison took her arm and led her up the path. Remy suppressed a chuckle as, with her senses slowly returning to her, she realized that things were happening as she would’ve expected had her mind been clear enough to reason her way through them. Allison’s presence certainly had an effect, but it seemed that this was simply how her mind worked even on its own. Overwhelmed by thoughts racing out of her control, the end result of the conflicting emotions seemed to always be fear that drove her to flee from their source. For most of her life, it was that response to fear that caused her to stagnate, returning to a familiar misery rather than braving the unknown. It wasn’t until desperation drove her to throw herself into the abyss that the way forward became clear. The flood of thoughts never slowed, but they became easier to endure as their burden was outweighed by the possibility of a brighter future. She’d felt the same calm in the midst of a storm when driving along a dark highway before dawn with everything she owned while leaving behind the only life she’d ever known, not realizing that she was on a path leading her to Violet Meadows. Looking over at Allison, holding her arm tightly and looking back at her with a placid smile, Remy couldn’t help hoping that history was repeating itself. She seemed to have a habit of making good decisions when she forced herself to choose.
As they approached the door, someone on the other side looked as if he was rushing to meet them. His appearance caught Remy’s attention and held it long enough to shake her from her thoughts, surprising her with his finely tailored black three piece suit and waxed moustache. Looking close to her own age while being dressed and groomed as if he’d been unearthed from a tomb, Remy thought he looked less like a person she expected to meet and more like he’d stepped out of a history book. It wasn’t until she noticed his cheerful and welcoming demeanor that it occurred to her that he was likely some kind of doorman, something else that seemed more at home in the distant past.
“Ah, good evening, Ms. Miller! Welco—”
The pleasant aura around him dissipated in an instant when, in the midst of greeting Allison, he seemed to finally take notice of Remy. His eyes locked onto her and began to burn into her, his expression exuding hostility every bit as much as it had been radiating hospitality only a moment earlier. For the first time all evening, Remy’s mind was quiet as she stared back in silence.
“I…excuse me. W—welcome back, Ms. Miller. And this is…?”
Allison, still looking at Remy and her expression turning curious, seemed to be only just noticing that there was anyone else present. “Oh, good evening, Marcus. This is Remy Dauphine. Remy, this is our concierge Marcus.”
Marcus turned to Remy again, smiling as if the effort was causing him pain. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Ms. Dauphine.”
Remy didn’t as much as blink in response. “You sure about that?”
The icy response appeared to catch Allison’s attention, but nowhere near as much as the fact that Marcus visibly flinched when he heard it. Allison quickly glanced at both of them, from Remy as she returned the stare she’d received with interest to Marcus as he was taking half of a step backward. Seeing him trying to collect himself and looking as if he was struggling to form a reply, Allison seemed to be either trying to break the tension or rush the encounter to its conclusion.
“Um…Marcus, I have a number of plastic bins in my car. Do you think you could have someone—?”
“Oh, yes, of course!” Marcus’s demeanor switched so quickly that Remy had to physically restrain herself to hide her disgust. “I’ll bring them up myself.”
“Are you sure? There are quite a few of them—”
“It’s no trouble at all, really! It’s my pleasure. Is there anything else I can do for you this evening?”
Allison’s expression was heavy with curiosity. She was clearly noticing something unusual in the air but failing to place exactly what. “Oh, no, nothing for me, thank you. Remy, did you need anything?”
Remy saw Allison looking up at her on the edge of her vision, but she kept her eyes locked on Marcus as he nervously turned toward her. “Privacy.”
Marcus swallowed hard, visibly shaken but doing his best to maintain his faltering air of professionalism. “Yes…yes, of course. I hope you have a…wonderful evening.”
Better than yours.
Remy continued to stare as Marcus excused himself and moved toward a nearby door, his steps slightly unsteady. She only began moving when she felt Allison gently tugging her toward a nearby elevator, but morbid curiosity led her to turn and glance behind her as they waited for the doors to open. Her eyes narrowed when, as she’d expected, two people who were definitely not Marcus came out of the door he’d entered, headed toward the parking lot and glancing behind them while looking annoyed. When the elevator doors opened, Allison pulled Remy through with surprising strength before impatiently hammering on the button to close them again.
“Remy? Are…are you…?”
“I’m fine.”
Remy instinctively tried to rush past the moment, not wanting to admit that she was anything but alright even though her heart and mind were as still as they’d been all evening. It was how her body and mind responded to imminent threats, a sudden stillness as all within her fell silent and left her thoughts clear to take in everything around her. With the recent exception of Allison’s touch, it was the closest she ever came to peace.
Allison stared up at Remy, looking as if she was studying her as the elevator began its ascent. “Well, since you’re obviously not fine, you want to tell me what just happened?”
Looking back at Allison and seeing a familiar determination, Remy sighed as the calm began to fade. It was welcome in the sense that it was a sign that the threat had passed, but it also meant that it was time to explain herself. Something she’d learned fairly quickly about Allison was that the look she was wearing at that moment meant that she wouldn’t be deterred.
“I told you my face scares people. Still, I…guess I could’ve handled that better.”
“Handled what better?”
Remy raised an eyebrow as the elevator doors opened. “You…wait. Don’t tell me that you didn’t notice. That you didn’t notice.”
“Notice what?”
There was only the most brief moment of restraint before the situation got the better of Remy and caused her to laugh in spite of herself. She felt guilty for it, especially when seeing Allison’s look of confusion turn to open frustration as she led the way down a long corridor. As much as she didn’t want to acknowledge humor in that moment, she couldn’t ignore the irony.
“Marcus.” Remy spit the name out as if it tasted bitter. “Didn’t you see how he was looking at you?”
Allison looked up as she walked, putting significant effort into remembering anything noteworthy. “He looked like he always does.”
“That figures.” Seeing Allison again looking confused, Remy rushed to explain. “Well, did you notice how he was looking at me?”
“So yeah, about that…” The look of frustration shifted rapidly, again looking more like curiosity. “What was that about? Do you know him from somewhere?”
Still feeling begrudgingly amused by the situation’s irony, Remy indulged in the reversal of roles as she recalled Allison’s earlier words. “Nope. Lucky him.”
Allison looked behind them as if she was expecting to see Marcus standing there. “Then what was his problem? I’ve never seen him act like that before. He looked…I don’t know.”
“Annoyed? Angry? Disappointed?”
“Well, yeah, actually—” Allison suddenly looked up at Remy, her eyes widening as realization dawned on her. “Wait…you’re not thinking…?”
Remy huffed, regretting not appreciating the moment of humor as it was overtaken by disgust. “His attitude took a hard turn all of a sudden, don’t you think? Right around the time he started staring me down, in fact.”
Allison looked deep in thought as she came to a stop in front of a door and started fumbling with a keychain. “But…he’s never acted like he was…well, interested in me. Why now?”
Remy tried to remain nonchalant as she pretended her heart wasn’t soaring at the sight of Allison’s expression while considering the matter, unable to avoid noticing what looked like unease. “He probably never had a reason to worry about it. Have you ever brought anyone home before?”
Allison shook her head. “No, come to think of it. You’re the only one I’ve cared enough about to—”
Again, Remy’s heart fluttered as she saw Allison turn bright red, apparently having been distracted enough to say slightly more than she’d intended. She nearly dropped her keys more than once before sighing in frustration, drawing another short laugh from Remy as she placed a hand on Allison’s.
“For the record, I’m glad you did.”
Allison’s smile brought relief to both of them. Remy was glad to see a sign that Allison understood that, however unintentionally, she’d made the mood significantly lighter. Marcus was already fading from Remy’s thoughts as she remembered why she was there, though the moment hadn’t passed entirely just yet.
As Allison brought the key to its lock, Remy was surprised to find how quickly her mood had shifted on realizing what was happening. Even though her initial reaction to Marcus was born of fear in the face of hostility, it had been quickly overwhelmed by something much closer to anger when she understood what Marcus had against her. It wasn’t at all surprising that anyone else would take an interest in Allison; in fact, one of Remy’s many excuses for not expressing her own interest was the assumption that someone must have beaten her to the opportunity. Allison had a classic beauty that could be seen from a mile away, and her delicate grace highlighted every facet of it. She was intelligent and successful, and she had a charm that made the rest of the world fade away in insignificance. That anyone else would notice those things and want them to themselves only seemed natural, though that didn’t stop Remy from hating them for it. Allison’s outward appearance was merely the tip of an iceberg of passion, determination and appreciation for beauty in the world that Remy never would’ve considered without having met her. Remy’s blood boiled when she thought of Allison’s being reduced to nothing more than an object of desire, and she spent more than one evening cursing Allison’s presumed love interests for not being able to see the warm glow that filled every room she entered.
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Pearls before swine.
Just as Remy was beginning to level her hatred at Marcus again, Allison pushed her door forward and, as it swung open, all other thoughts in Remy’s mind collapsed at once as she was again reminded of what was awaiting her. A fragrance that reminded Remy of the ocean found her nose as Allison stepped forward and turned on a light, revealing what looked like pictures Remy remembered seeing advertising a Cretan villa as a dream vacation destination. The living room was light and airy, filled with bright neutral colors on the walls and lightly colored wood on the furniture. It was a sanctuary, a place of serenity that felt entirely separate from the world around it. Remy thought to herself that without the silhouette of pine trees visible in the window to remind her of where they were, the scenery around her and the faint sound of the ocean in the distance could’ve convinced her that she was in a seaside village in Europe rather than still in Violet Meadows. It took a moment for her to notice that Allison had stopped and turned toward her, smiling nervously and looking as if she was waiting for something.
“I don’t know what I expected, but I’m not at all surprised.”
Allison’s expression of curiosity didn’t completely hide her nervousness. “What do you mean?”
Looking around again, Remy tried to put her fascination aside long enough to organize her thoughts. “It’s the kind of place you visit, but it’s too beautiful and elegant to imagine what kind of person would live there. It definitely suits you.”
Turning crimson and looking slightly faint, Allison dropped her purse on an end table before taking Remy’s arm and leading her to a nearby sofa. “I keep thinking that I’ll eventually get used to it…”
“Get used to what?”
Sitting next to Remy and pressing herself against her, Allison looked up at her with an unfocused gaze. “You.”
Remy smiled in spite of her confusion as she looked down, her heart fluttering madly under Allison’s gaze. “I…I just said what I was thinking. It’s not like I’m—”
“Boop.”
Unable to resist, Remy turned her eyes back toward Allison with a smile. “I guess we’re both going to have to learn how to take a compliment.”
Allison laughed quietly as she brought her lips to Remy’s cheek. “Deal.”
Remy felt her face grow warm, a heat that grew in intensity as Allison slowly pulled away. Her lips hovered close enough for Remy to feel the heat radiating from Allison’s skin, leaving a trail of warmth from the spot she’d touched on her cheek to the corner of her mouth. She’d lingered there for as long as the peck to her cheek had lasted before finally restoring the short distance between them, turning her eyes downward and looking as if she’d exhausted herself with the strain of letting go. The sight made Remy want to close that distance again, a desire that was becoming all but impossible to resist.
She couldn’t decide whether she was more irritated or relieved when the moment was interrupted. A faint sound in the distance almost like a squeak drew Remy’s attention to the hallway just as an orange and white cat peeked around the corner at her. Following Remy’s gaze, Allison turned and chuckled with an apologetic expression.
“Oh, I’m sorry, Millie…I didn’t mean to wake you. Remy, this is Millefeuille.”
Remy’s mind raced as she attempted to account for yet another unexpected development. Doing her best to guess at what proper etiquette dictated in the moment, she turned her attention back to the cat only to find her missing. A moment later, Millefeuille jumped onto the back of the sofa and came to a stop inches from Remy’s face, sticking her nose out and cautiously sniffing. Being at a complete loss as to how to react, she turned to Allison to see a look of amazement. Before she could ask about it, Millefeuille carefully stepped from the couch to Remy’s shoulder and perched there, drawing an excited squeal from Allison.
“Are you kidding, Millie?”
Remy looked back and forth between Millefeuille and Allison, failing utterly to understand exactly what was happening. “I don’t know much about cats. Is…is this supposed to happen?”
Still looking excited, Allison shook her head. “She never climbs on people…not this fast, at least. She only does that when she really likes somebody. It took weeks for her to even let Lily hold her.”
“But…why? It’s not like I gave her any reason to—”
Remy was interrupted as she felt Millefeuille gently headbutt her, rubbing her head against her cheek and purring. Allison began laughing uncontrollably at Remy’s sudden silence, ignoring her narrowing eyes and exaggerated huffing as she realized what had just happened.
“You know what? Close enough. Good girl, Millie.”
Caught between Allison’s laughter and Millefeuille’s soft purring, Remy couldn’t manage a convincing semblance of irritation and began laughing, herself. As Millefeuille jumped down into her lap, Remy began gently scratching the top of her head as Allison continued to stare in wonder.
“Well, if I had any doubts about tonight, I wouldn’t after seeing this. You’re a confirmed catch.”
Remy shook her head as she looked down at Millefeuille, now curling up and making herself comfortable. “I still don’t get it. I don’t know anything about cats.”
Allison leaned against Remy’s shoulder and joined her in showering Millefeuille with attention. “Well, you say you don’t know anything about dating, either. That doesn’t mean someone can’t find their own reasons to like you.”
Sighing softly, Remy was forced to admit that there was an inconvenient amount of logic in what Allison was saying. Despite her incessant impulses to deny reality, she was far beyond earnestly believing that what was passing between them was a sign of anything other than genuine interest on Allison’s part. As she thought about it, Remy wondered if the only thing keeping her from putting the matter to rest once and for all was the fact that she couldn’t understand why it was happening. Considering that they were presumably there for the purpose of talking, it seemed that there was only one reasonable course of action. Remy took a deep breath and prepared to push herself into making another decision.
“So…I was wondering. Why…why did you—?”
As the words to frame her thoughts were finally forming, she stopped short when Millefeuille suddenly jumped up and stood in her lap, looking startled. She stared off into the distance for a moment before jumping again just as suddenly, this time dropping to the floor and running at full speed back down the hallway. Feeling nearly as startled, Remy turned back to Allison.
“Did I do something wrong? Is she okay?”
Allison laughed softly as she looked toward the hallway. “No, she’s fine. She’s just orange.”
Before Remy could ask what that had to do with what had just happened, she found a much more reasonable explanation. The door shook slightly in its frame, sounding as though something had just bumped into it. Briefly curious as to what had caused it, a sudden feeling of nausea reminded her that they were expecting at least one more interruption that night. She stood with a disgusted groan, already glaring in the general direction of the door.
Might as well get it over with. “That must be the bins. I’ll actually bring them in myself.”
Allison jumped to her feet and raced in front of Remy, looking amused but slightly uneasy. “No, you sit. I’ll get it.”
“All of that stuff? By yourself?”
“He’ll bring it in. Besides, I want my security deposit back and I don’t know how to get blood out of the carpet.”
“Baking soda.” Seeing Allison stop and turn to face her with an incredulous look, Remy felt her face growing warm. “Yeah…I guess that wasn’t the point. I’ll be good.”
Only barely containing her laughter, Allison turned back to the door as she heard the doorbell ring. “Oh, yeah? What are you thinking right now?”
Roll your hip into the shoulder, then sweep your leg over. Easy armbar setup.
Seeing Allison reach the door and turn to look at her again following the silence, Remy realized a moment too late that she was supporting the wrong argument. She sat back down with a huff, causing Allison to delay answering the door even longer as she tried to bring her laughter under control.
It proved more difficult than Remy imagined to wait patiently as Marcus brought in the bins, clearly realizing entirely too late what he’d volunteered himself to do. He began by bringing in two at once, obviously both trying to impress and not having any idea what was in them before they reached Allison’s door. Following the first trip, he carried the bins one at a time and with a slight limp. The entire time, he managed to maintain an air of politeness with a dedication that Remy found surprising. He was desperately trying to make conversation, but he was struggling to hold Allison’s attention.
Considering him again, Remy could see how Allison could take it all as nothing more than professional courtesy. Not being egotistical enough to assume someone’s interest in her and having no other indications to suggest any, it made sense that she never saw him for what he was. Even Remy could almost believe his behavior to be genuine, the only clue to his true motivation being the fact that he’d been all but ignoring her presence entirely since he’d arrived. The only time he seemed to take any notice of her was the grimace he gave every time he stole a glance at Allison only to see her gazing at Remy instead of paying attention to him. As satisfying as it was to see him upset, even that couldn’t hold her attention as much as the fact that, even when faced with a clear alternative, Allison was choosing her.
Remy had to stop herself from breathing a sigh of relief when the last of the bins was sitting on Allison’s kitchen table, bringing an end to Marcus’s only excuse for his presence. He seemed to realize the same thing, his pace suddenly slowing as he was heading for the door for the last time.
“There you are, Ms. Miller. Is there anything else I can do for you?”
Allison shook her head while giving a smile that looked as though it required some effort. “No, nothing else, thank you. You just go and take care of your back. That looked like it hurt.”
Marcus gave a wide smile, though it didn’t escape Remy’s notice that his jaw was clenched a little too tightly when he did. “Oh, it’s nothing, really. I just misjudged the load, that’s all.”
Allison nodded, not even bothering to try to look convinced. “Yes, well, maybe you should put some ice on it just in case.”
“Really? Do you think?”
Seeing Marcus’s face light up, Remy realized that he must’ve thought he’d found an excuse to delay his departure. Immediately seething, she didn’t notice that she’d reacted until she heard her own voice echoing her thoughts.
“A cold shower might be even better.”
Under any other circumstances, having every eye in the room on her would’ve sent Remy into a panic. In that moment, however, her only thought was of making a point. Initially looking insulted and then meeting Remy’s eyes only to flinch, it seemed that the message had been conveyed effectively. Stammering an excuse about other duties, he rushed off as if Remy’s stare was burning him. It wasn’t until he disappeared through the doorway for the last time and the door closed behind him that Remy became aware that Allison was still watching her, again looking torn between amusement and concern. Remy’s feeling of triumph ended abruptly, leaving her suddenly feeling sheepish instead.
“Well…there wasn’t any blood.”
Laughing softly, Allison crossed the living room and sat down next to Remy again. Taking her hand, she leaned over and kissed her cheek, again letting her lips linger near the corner of Remy’s mouth for a noticeable amount of time before pulling back.
“You never struck me as the jealous type.”
Remy sighed as she started to feel frustrated with herself. “I’m as surprised as anyone.”
“Well, don’t feel bad. Up to this point, that’s kind of been my thing.” Giving Remy another peck on her cheek, Allison stood and made her way into the kitchen. “Before you ask, no, don’t get up.”
Remy was about to ask what she meant before seeing that she was opening bins and taking out covered dishes, apparently resuming the dinner service that they’d interrupted to move it from the park. Allison seemed to somehow notice the unease building in Remy, placing a stack of dishes on the coffee table in front of her and then standing and staring hard at her.
“I mean it. Don’t get up.”
Remy smiled, wondering how Allison was able to read her so well when nobody else could. “Sorry. I’m just not used to…well…”
“Not used to what?”
“You’ve been treating me like a queen all night long. That’s…new to me.”
Allison glanced over her shoulder at Remy as she made her way back into the kitchen. “Did you ever think that maybe you deserve to be?”
Remy thought hard for a moment before dismissing the thought, feeling inexplicably uncomfortable with it. “Can’t say that I have.”
“In that case, think of it as doing me a favor.”
“A favor?”
Smiling shyly, Allison placed a glacette on the coffee table and put a new wine bottle inside of it. “Tonight, you’re my queen.”
Remy was glad she was sitting as Allison continued setting up the remaining courses. With only a few words, Allison had managed to send her mind reeling once again, this time with such force that she wasn’t entirely sure that she’d have been able to stay on her feet if she’d been standing. Allison had called Remy her queen but, in Remy’s mind, she was the one who was bending to Allison’s will. The more she thought about it, the more she wondered if that was the problem she was having with their current arrangement. When she thought of her feelings for Allison, Remy felt as if she should be the one serving her instead. Allison was something rare and precious, someone to be revered instead of serving.
Next time, it’ll be my turn. If I’m going to be served, you’ll be worshiped.