Remy had no idea how long they sat there. All sense of time was lost, seconds indistinguishable from hours and years. There was a vague thought that there was something strange and unfamiliar about losing her sense of self so completely, a sensation that normally filled her with dread and brought her to the verge of panic. In that moment, however, it simply didn’t matter. There was only Allison, and anything outside of spending those precious seconds or hours or years in her arms was of no consequence. The most thought she could spare for the passing of time was to hope that the moment never ended.

Every thought, emotion and sensation brought Remy back to Allison. Nothing else existed. She could only feel Allison’s hand on her cheek, gently cradling it before slowly sliding upward along her jaw. Slender, delicate fingers tangled themselves in her hair as Allison pulled Remy into her, holding her as though trying to keep her there. For a brief moment, Remy was almost amused by the thought that there could be anywhere else she might rather be. The soft touch of Allison’s lips against hers grew in intensity, leaving Remy feeling a hunger from Allison that it took time for her to recognize as desire. The realization was nearly as overwhelming as Allison’s presence, and it was the closest that Remy came to thinking of anything beyond her.

She…she wants me. She wants me as much as I want her.

Time finally came back into focus as she felt Allison slowly pulling away from her, and the rest of the world slowly followed suit. Without Allison’s warmth, there was an almost unnatural chill in the early summer evening air that Remy wondered how she’d failed to notice before then. Allison’s eyes slowly opened as a faint smile began to take shape, her gaze unfocused and making her look as if she was dreaming. She looked at her hand, and a faint blush came into view as she saw her fingers still tangled in Remy’s hair. With a note of embarrassment, she carefully freed them and returned her hand to Remy’s cheek, but she seemed reluctant to release her entirely. Desperate for more of her warmth, Remy placed a hand on Allison’s and held it close as she closed her eyes again and pressed her cheek into it. There was another long moment of silence before Allison spoke, her voice breathless and as dreamlike as her eyes.

“I…can’t even tell you how long I was waiting for that.”

Remy gave a soft laugh as she continued to hold Allison’s hand against her. “For future reference, I’m fine if you don’t wait next time.”

“…well…if you insist…”

There was another soft laugh from Remy as she felt Allison’s lips against hers again, and warmth returned to her as if she was standing under the summer midday sun. She wondered how long she’d been aching for the feeling, the soothing of a wound forgotten for so long that she couldn’t remember suffering it. It almost felt more like satisfying a craving for something she’d never had; while she wasn’t entirely inexperienced, nothing from her past or any future she could imagine could come close enough to even be considered, like trying to compare an ocean to a damp sponge.

The next time Allison pulled away, she didn’t go nearly as far. Her lips continued to hover near Remy’s, close enough for Remy to feel the heat radiating from her skin and hear her slow, deep breaths that sounded as if she was trying to calm herself. Her voice was barely above a whisper as she spoke again, sounding as if she was on the verge of laughing, as well.

“You’re gonna have to be careful with your choice of words. I don’t think I can be trusted with an excuse to do that again.”

Remy smiled as she looked into the sparkling aquamarine eyes she’d come to adore. “Don’t feel bad about it. I doubt I can be trusted to not keep giving you excuses.”

Allison chuckled as she quickly pressed her lips to Remy’s again. “Why do I get the feeling that we’re going to end up spending a lot of time like this?”

“If you’re expecting me to complain about it, you’re in for a long wait on a plane that’s not coming.”

With another chuckle, Allison leaned against Remy and rested her head on her shoulder while wrapping her arms around her waist. Resting her head on the top of Allison’s, Remy smiled as the slow return of her senses outside of Allison brought a question to mind.

“I want to make it clear again that I’m not complaining, but…mind if I ask what made you do it?”

Allison was quiet for a long time before responding. “I’m not really sure. I’ve been wanting to for…a while.”

The brief hesitation caught Remy’s attention and again made her curious. “How long?”

There was another long silence as Allison pressed her face harder into Remy’s shoulder. When she finally spoke, her voice was slightly muffled. “Remember the pomegranates?”

Remy thought for a moment before remembering the day they’d met. “The ones you came in looking for?”

There was a brief moment of feeling movement that made Remy think Allison was nodding. “Yeah…pretty much since then.”

Laughing softly, Remy was surprised to hear Allison groan in response. “What’s wrong?”

There was another sigh from Allison, this time sounding more frustrated than content. “It’s…it’s embarrassing!”

For the first time in what felt like days, Remy felt something other than serenity as confusion finally found her again. “What’s embarrassing about that?”

“What do you mean, ‘What’s embarrassing?’ I’ve been sitting here and thinking about you for months! How am I supposed to feel other than embarrassed admitting to something like that?”

Remy gave a soft laugh as she considered the question. “Now that you mention it, I have no idea. If I ever feel anything other than embarrassment when I think about it, I’ll let you know.”

Allison went stiff for a moment before pulling back just enough to look into Remy’s eyes, her own looking cautious and anxious. “Wait…you mean…?”

As a reflex, Remy shyly looked away as her own words about her feelings on the matter came back to haunt her. “It wasn’t that day, but that’s only because…well, I spent a long time not thinking about it any more than I had to.”

“Why?” Allison’s question was heavy with what sounded like worry. “Were you…not interested?”

Remy laughed, more at herself than the question. “No, it was pretty much the exact opposite. I was just…well, if you ask Kate, I was being stubborn. Not that she was wrong, but…well, it was more like I was scared.”

Allison didn’t bother trying to hide her relief, but it didn’t last long. “Scared? Of what?”

For a moment, Remy wasn’t sure how to answer the question as she sifted through the flood of possible answers, all of them equally accurate. “Past experiences…being hurt again. Admitting that I felt anything at all. You.”

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“Me?”

“I didn’t think there was any way you’d ever feel anything for me. Entertaining the idea felt like a waste of time.”

Allison smiled before kissing Remy again. “And now?”

With another quiet laugh, Remy had to admit that the concern she had only hours earlier felt as if it was from another lifetime. “I’m glad I was wrong, if that’s what you mean. At the time, though…well, look at you. Everything about you is perfect. Why would someone like you even notice someone like—?”

“Boop.”

Remy gave a loud sigh through the smile she was pretending she couldn’t feel on her face. “Well, that’s what I was thinking then, anyway.”

Allison smiled, but her eyes were suspicious. “And now?”

“…I’m working on it.”

After another quick kiss, Allison finally released Remy long enough to lean toward the coffee table and reach for another plate. As she began filling it with more pasta salad, Remy’s mind finally slipped into gear as curiosity caught her attention again. Seeing Allison fill a plate with food made her wonder what happened to the one she had been holding only minutes earlier. Scanning the room, her eyes finally fell on the golden rim of a dinner plate on the floor that was nearly hidden from her field of vision by the sofa. Her thoughts still primarily occupied by Allison, it took her a moment of wondering why it looked wrong to realize that it was upside down. A closer inspection revealed bits of pasta salad and several small pieces of cheese scattered across the carpet at Allison’s feet.

“What…what happened?”

Allison looked up at Remy for a moment before noticing that her eyes were fixed on the floor. Immediately turning red, she didn’t bother to ask what Remy meant as she returned to filling the new plate. “I…dropped it. Earlier, I mean, when I…” She gave Remy another quick glance and looked relieved to see slowly dawning recognition, signaling that she didn’t need to explain any further. “I had more important things on my mind at the moment, okay?”

Confusion and concern again yielded to thoughts of Allison. Remy smiled, her mind again occupied by noting every detail of Allison’s presence as she noted how flustered she became when embarrassed.

Yeah…still cute. “Okay, okay…fair enough. I doubt I’d have done any better if I’d been holding it. It’s fine, anyway. I’m sure I can get that out with a little—”

“Nope.” Allison returned to her seat ad began spearing the pasta with a new fork. “It wasn’t that important then, and it’s not that important now. It can wait.”

“But what if it—?”

“Nope. Aaaaaaah…”

Habit urged Remy to argue, but the objection was quickly overruled. Caught between knowing that Allison wouldn’t back down and the overwhelming desire to see her happy, Remy opened her mouth. As the fork touched her tongue, it was almost as if she was tasting it for the first time. Any sensation beyond Allison felt unfamiliar to her, as if they were years behind her and she needed to exert effort to remember them. As the flavor slowly jogged her memory, it added to the temptation to let habit rest and finally give in to the demand to ignore responsibility, if only for a night. Remembering how good Allison was at what she did, Remy reluctantly admitted that Allison might be right; after all, the pasta salad was the second best thing she’d ever tasted.

More time passed with Remy’s being pampered by Allison, occasionally being asked about what she liked most so far. Remy tried to add what seemed to her like valuable feedback, commenting on the specifics of how flavors were balanced and how textures complimented each other. Allison seemed grateful at first, but Remy eventually noticed that Allison’s continuing questions made it seem as if she was expecting something that she wasn’t receiving. When Remy noticed the look in her eyes that seemed vaguely reminiscent of frustration, it occurred to her that she may have misunderstood the actual reason for the questions. Allowing intuition to take the lead, Remy took the energy she was pouring into thinking of ways to compliment Allison’s cooking and shifted it to thinking of what she wanted most. When she simply asked for more of the potato salad, the effect of the change in strategy was immediately apparent. Allison’s mood brightened beyond even its usual cheer as she happily ran to the kitchen to find it. Remy exhaled deeply, thinking that she was still convinced that the throne didn’t suit her. Seeing Allison’s smile and knowing that she was the reason for it, however, it didn’t escape her notice that being royalty for a night had at least some merit.

After sampling several more dishes, Allison’s expression took a slight turn as she began showing a sense of excitement that she seemed to be putting effort into containing. Seeing her occasional sideways glances gave Remy the impression that she was trying to be patient. Remembering all of the moments she’d dismissed earlier in the evening when Allison came close and lingered before pulling away and the growing intensity of the kiss that eventually followed, Remy started to get the feeling that, while Allison was polite and willing to be patient, it was probably best to not keep her waiting for too long. She hurried to finish chewing the bite she’d just taken enough to swallow, drawing a look of surprise and curiosity from Allison.

“Something wrong?”

Remy shook her head as she cleared her throat. “No, nothing like that. You just…look like you’ve got something on your mind. I was just wondering what.”

Allison smiled at Remy while touching her cheek. “I’m never going to get you to just think about yourself for a minute, am I?”

With a shrug, Remy smiled back as she lifted her wine glass. “While you’re around? I doubt it. So what are you thinking about?”

Looking like she wanted to be frustrated, Allison fought her smile for a moment before relenting and laughing softly. “Fine…I guess I can let you have this one. It…runs the risk of being more unpleasant first date talk, though.”

Again, Remy shrugged. Remembering the last time Allison had worried about the same thing, she realized that, given that Allison was the one she was talking to, she couldn’t even think of it as being entirely unpleasant. “I’m sure I’ll manage. Let’s hear it.”

Allison still looked nervous, but she nodded in agreement. “I was just thinking about what you said earlier about how the past…well, wasn’t the best. Before that, you were starting to talk about your family. It just…it made me realize how much I don’t know about you. Not nearly as much as I’d like to, at least.”

Had she been asked, Remy would’ve reluctantly admitted that there was a distinct possibility that she’d bitten off more than she could chew. She could see where the conversation was going, and it certainly wasn’t anywhere she’d have chosen for herself. Still, the desire was certainly relatable. She often wanted the same thing, and learning that Allison’s past didn’t sound nearly as pleasant as she’d always assumed hadn’t curbed her enthusiasm as much as caused her to respectfully set the desire aside. Thinking about how it felt to bring up the past herself, however, she remembered how it felt to be able to discuss it with someone who understood. It seemed like too much to hope for, but it made Remy wonder if she could possibly be as much help. Seeing Allison’s hopeful expression slowly being replaced with unease, Remy realized how long she’d been silently waiting for a response. The sense of urgency that came as a result gave her the push she needed to be just a little daring.

“I…I get that. I think the same thing about you. Actually…do you feel up to a trade? A story for a story. I don’t mind if you ask me questions, and I’ll answer them either way. If you don’t mind talking, though…I just want you to know that I don’t mind listening. In fact, I’d…like to.”

There was another noticeably long silence as Allison’s eyes again began to shimmer. As Remy was wondering if she should ask whether she’d said something wrong or not, Allison leaned forward and kissed her again. As with the last time she’d seen that look on Allison’s face, Remy had no idea what thoughts might have led to that reaction, each guess seeming no more or less likely than any other. When Allison pulled away and looked at her with what was becoming a familiar dreamlike expression, however, it suddenly didn’t seem to matter much. Whatever she was thinking, it was making her happy.

After taking a moment to collect herself, Allison finally spoke. “For the record, that’s why someone like me would notice someone like you.”

Remy could only laugh softly, both at Allison and herself. Allison was just being as sweet as always, but Remy surprised herself when the realization that she had no idea what Allison meant didn't spark a sense of urgency. For once, she was willing to simply relax and not worry, confident that answers would come in time and that there was no need to relentlessly hunt them. Everything about being with her was new, and it was surprising Remy less and less to encounter the unexpected. It was a little strange to think about, but it was somehow giving her the confidence to take the chains off of the doors that hid her darkest memories, even if only briefly. With Allison near, even her darkest days seemed at least a little brighter. Taking another sip of her wine followed by a deep breath, Remy prepared herself to charge into the unknown once again, hand in hand with Allison.

“So…what do you want to know first?”