It wasn’t the first time that Remy had the feeling that she understood exactly how Allison felt but, as Allison finally pulled away from her and turned around to face the city below, Remy felt closer to Allison’s thoughts than ever. Her pulse raced, pounding in her ears as she thought about everything she’d just opened up and shared. Even an hour earlier, it would’ve been unthinkable to even consciously think about that boarding pass herself, let alone speak about it with anyone else. It very nearly didn’t happen at all, coming only after having argued both for and against the idea with herself too many times to count in the seconds leading up to walking away to find her phone. Even putting aside the fear of the surge of memories that came with even remembering that it existed, the thought of openly speaking of it was mortifying. She had no idea how it would be received, her best guesses as to a reaction ranging from pity to disgust. All of them seemed certain to sour the mood.

In the end, it was only the fact that it was the most appropriate response that occurred to her that tipped the scales toward going through with it. Allison had revealed something deep within her that was sacred, and there was no doubt in Remy’s mind that it wasn’t easy for her to do so. Allison’s nervous energy as she led the way to the balcony made perfect sense to Remy now that she had an idea of what kind of arguing she must have been doing with herself, as well. The sheer terror that came from trying to predict a response clashing with the overwhelming need to open her heart to someone she desperately needed to accept it was impossible to hide. Remy couldn’t say that she was in complete control of her emotions but, for the first time that she could clearly recall since coming to Violet Meadows, she didn’t care. It was amazing to her that anything could take precedence over her self control, though it didn’t surprise her in the least to find that thing was Allison.

As if to illustrate the point, even the turmoil over the last several minutes began to slowly take a back seat to thinking about Allison as she leaned against the railing and stared into the night. Remy couldn’t help wondering what she was thinking as she looked on in silence, and an errant thought took advantage of the opportunity to sow chaos by reviving worries about how the story had been received. It was an odd sensation, however; the fear was familiar, but how feeble its sting felt was both surprising and refreshing. Even as the thought was forming, Remy’s attention turned to Allison’s posture, looking comfortable and relaxed. It proved disruptive enough for Remy to be able to focus on what she’d already seen of Allison’s reaction, and nothing about being held or kissed suggested anything remotely negative. It was as though Remy was seeing the world clearly for the first time, unhindered by her memories and the fears they spawned. It was a strange thought and a stranger sensation, and that alone made it difficult to trust any of it. At the same time, though, her newfound clarity made it easy to focus on things she would normally overlook in favor of those fears, namely Allison’s own stated intentions and desires. Thinking about them now while freed of the burden of her own thoughts, Remy almost laughed at how clear her path ahead was becoming as she wondered if it really had been this easy all along and she’d simply been too absorbed in her own thoughts to notice.

Thinking about Allison’s intentions and desires led Remy to remember one in particular: Just want something. It still felt reckless to the point of being dangerous, but knowing the true source of her concerns made it difficult to give them much consideration. Taking a deep breath to steel her resolve against her most intrusive thoughts, Remy began to step forward, once again pushed forward by nothing more than want. Approaching from behind, Remy reached out and wrapped her arms around Allison’s waist, holding her close while looking out into the distance. Again bracing herself for any number of negative responses, she only heard Allison sigh with content as she leaned back against Remy’s chest and, as before, seemed to melt in her arms.

“You sure have gotten bold.” When Remy went tense with shock, she laughed softly and added, “I like it. Keep it up.”

Hearing Allison’s calm and soothing voice coupled with laughter, Remy released a breath that she didn’t realize she was holding. “I’ll try, but I don’t know if my heart can take it.”

Another laugh followed before Allison could continue. “Let me guess…you’re wondering what I’m thinking about?”

You’re getting better at reading my mind. “The thought occurred to me.”

There was another contented sigh as Allison continued staring out across the city. Remy tried to follow her gaze, but she didn’t know the view from above nearly well enough to guess. It was only when she recognized something that had been pointed out to her earlier that she realized that she was looking at the coastal road leading to her store. As if confirming the suspicion, Allison finally spoke again.

“I was just thinking about how much I loved this view when I first came here. Even in Vegas, I don’t think I’ve ever seen so much all at once. There were more buildings and people, but…they were all just scenery. Parts of the background that made for a pretty picture, but that’s all. Here, everything I see means something to me. It feels like there’s more because everything I see matters. Since I met you, though…I can’t believe how much bigger the picture is now.”

Did you know this text is from a different site? Read the official version to support the creator.

Just as when Allison first brought her to the balcony, Remy felt an urge to reciprocate by sharing something equally significant. This time, however, nothing especially important occurred to her. Feeling slightly frustrated with herself, she reciprocated in the only way she could in the moment and, giving Allison’s waist a soft squeeze, she leaned forward and rested her head on Allison’s shoulder. Much to Remy’s surprise, Allison seemed to understand the significance of the gesture as she placed her hands on top of hers.

“So…has anything changed for you?”

Again, Remy’s mind raced for something that felt equally significant and failed to find anything of consequence. Relenting, she settled for simply being honest. “I’m bolder, apparently.”

Allison giggled as she pressed the side of her face into Remy’s hair. “Careful…you’re going to make me test that claim. Anything else?”

Something in Allison’s voice gave Remy the impression that she was looking for something in particular, but she couldn’t guess what. Again, she settled for simply being honest. “Well, I guess it’s more than just being bold. It’s what I’m seeing myself doing with it. I’m finding myself wanting to talk about things I normally don’t even like thinking about just because I’m with you. I’m feeling things and not immediately wanting to turn them off. I actually want to feel them because I’m feeling them with you. I didn’t even think it was possible, but I’m putting some unpleasant things about myself aside for once.”

Allison was silent for a moment, seemingly lost in thought. “If I’m honest, I was a little worried about that, too. I used to wonder if I’d ever see you not looking like you’re either about to charge into battle or standing in front of a firing squad.”

There was a concerning note of worry in Allison’s voice, but something about the concern caused Remy to chuckle. “It’s a change for the better, I guess, but I don’t really even care about that. I want to be a better person, sure, but…I want to be with you even more.”

Again, Allison went silent and left Remy to guess at her thoughts. There was still no tension in her body or change in her posture that suggested anything negative. The only difference was that Allison was holding her hands a little more tightly as she pressed herself into Remy, seemingly trying to get closer to her despite the fact that there was no distance between them. Remy’s senses were again overwhelmed by the sweet and delicate fragrance of pears and jasmine, and she felt as if she was noticing for the first time just how soft and warm Allison was. The feeling inspired Remy to again put her worries aside and simply exist in the moment, responding to what she saw rather than what she assumed. She placed a kiss on Allison’s shoulder, and the shiver that ran through her seemed to be confirmation that she’d again made the right choice.

“You know, I think I—”

In the middle of building toward what seemed to be something significant, Allison’s words were cut off by a quiet yawn. For fear of distracting her from completing her thought, Remy suppressed the urge to laugh as she again wondered how everything about one person could be so cute. Somehow, the effort didn’t go unnoticed.

“You’re thinking it again, aren’t you?”

Remy sighed, realizing immediately that there was no point in attempting to hide that particular thought. “You’re not making it easy not to, you know.”

Though Remy braced herself for another argument and more jabs at her nose, Allison seemed to lack the energy for it. Her voice suddenly became quiet and slow, sounding as if she hadn’t slept in days. “As much as I’d love to lose another argument to you, I don’t have it in me at the moment. I didn’t realize it until now, but it’s been a long day.”

For the first time in what felt like hours, Remy felt a pang of sadness in her heart when she realized that the evening was coming to a close. “I…know what you mean. It’s not really that late, but it’s later than I’m usually up. My day starts pretty early. Come to think of it, yours starts even earlier. I guess…we should call it a night. Want to pick this up again another night?”

“Like hell.”

Remy stood up straight to look at Allison properly, searching for context to add to what she was hearing. “What do you mean?”

Allison initially responded by taking one of Remy’s hands in hers as she stepped away and turned to face her. “I want to spend more time with you and I’m sleepy. I don’t feel like choosing between them, so I won’t. Come on.”

Raising an eyebrow, Remy barely had time to process what she’d heard before Allison began walking her, again leading her by the hand. “Wh—what? Where are we going?”

“To do both.” Allison made her way back to the sliding glass door as she pulled Remy along, seemingly unconcerned by anything other than her destination. “We’re going to bed. Pick this up another night, hell. We’ll pick this up in the morning.”

Remy could only smile as she followed Allison through the door and back into the living room. She was smiling at Allison, again at a loss as to how any one person could be so cute. At the same time, however, she was smiling at herself. She could feel the angry horde of thoughts at the edges of her mind, but they didn’t seem to be able to find a way in. With Allison at its center, there simply wasn’t room for much else. There was a long and difficult road ahead, but Remy had no doubt that she was at the beginning of a dramatic change for the better. With memories and fears all but falling silent, she could finally only see the path ahead.