Making her way through the park toward Allison’s car, Remy’s focus was in constant danger of shattering. Adrift in a sea of emotions pulling her along like a current, she was on the verge of simply letting herself be pulled along rather than trying to swim to shore. Instinct screamed at her to take control, and memory blared like a warning siren and reminded her of the danger inherent to being at peace. Fear instilled in her in another lifetime maintained its post and continued to serve its purpose, driving her to push any other feelings down to keep them from distracting her from taking action. Each attempt failed as catastrophically as the last.
As the sun had set and they’d finally begun to get up from their bench, Allison had finally released Remy’s arm to allow her to stand. She hadn’t made any secret of her reluctance to do so, though, only enduring the task with a pout firmly in place on her face. That look was hardly the beginning of her assault on Remy’s focus, but it was when she’d finally taken notice of it. Seeing how desperately Allison had held onto her as they tried to delay sunset was the final nail in the coffin of Remy’s insisting that there was anything to the moment other than Allison’s desire to share it with her. When Allison took half a step back to allow Remy to stand but flatly refused to release her hand entirely and left their fingers laced together, Remy was vaguely reminded of Kate’s way of making a point by relentlessly driving it home until she’d abandoned her habitual resisting by formally surrendering to reason. Smiling up at Allison as she stood, it was only with some difficulty that she didn’t vocally acknowledge that she was finally willing to admit that this was, in fact, a date.
Once Remy was on her feet, Allison’s pout had disappeared in an instant, replaced with a wide smile as she again claimed Remy’s arm as if planting a flag on conquered land. Remy’s head had begun to spin. No longer hiding behind a wall of self-sabotaging thoughts, Allison’s affection hit her with its full might. That was the moment when Remy realized that she had begun to take leave of her senses. Looking down at Allison, smiling up at her with her aquamarine eyes sparkling in the light of the street lamps, Remy’s eyes had made a decision to drift downward toward Allison’s smile. Her deep rose lipstick faintly shimmered in the light, drawing Remy’s gaze and dominating her sight. Seeing Allison’s eyes slowly widen with what looked like surprise had brought Remy back to her senses just in time to notice that she was slowly leaning forward. Too disoriented to think of a justification for what she’d nearly done, she could only slowly begin walking and hope that Allison didn’t ask any questions. She didn’t, though the mood had certainly changed in a way that Remy couldn’t place.
Doing her best to suppress abject horror, Remy struggled to regain her focus. Fearing that she’d ruined what had already been a better evening than she’d ever dared to hope to have, she was determined to not allow herself to do any further damage. That was the beginning of what proved to be a long series of failed attempts by logic and reason to prevail.
Remy tried her best to focus on anything that would bring her thoughts to her surroundings—and, hopefully, her actions—but nothing could contest Allison’s claim on her attention. When taking a step, Allison’s hip lightly brushed against hers and nearly caused her to collapse, her legs momentarily useless and refusing to support her weight. The evening breeze would carry the delicate fragrance of pears and jasmine to her nose and cause her to drunkenly stumble, and the gentle laughter that followed rang in her ears and refused to allow any other sound to pass. No matter where she attempted to place her focus, Allison reclaimed it with ease as if welcoming the challenge.
“Hmph.”
For the first time, something managed to break through the haze of desire fogging Remy’s thoughts. Unsurprisingly, it was still Allison’s voice that managed the feat. She looked down at Allison to see her staring off into the distance, glaring fiercely at whatever she was seeing as if trying to burn a hole through it.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
The weight of the unspoken words chained to the terse reply made Remy’s blood run cold. Thinking that she was finally seeing the consequences of her actions, there was a brief attempt to both form an acceptable apology at the same time as wondering exactly what it was that she’d done to offend. Desperate for context, she attempted to follow Allison’s gaze but saw nothing other than several other people walking in their direction. Though she couldn’t see any problem that Allison may be having with them, she was continuing to stare intently as they drew near. Breathing a sigh of relief after seeing that she didn’t appear to be the cause of the problem herself, Remy studied the small group closest to them in search of an explanation.
They were a group of five, two women and three men who all appeared to be in their thirties, typical for the town's tourist traffic. Nothing about them stood out as being particularly noteworthy, looking like any number of tourists currently making their way through the city and taking in the sights. They were too far away for Remy to hear what they were saying, but they appeared to be in the middle of an animated conversation and in good spirits. From their unsteady balance and occasional stumbling, Remy couldn’t help thinking that their mood was a little too good. The only one that managed to catch Remy’s attention was one of the men who seemed to be looking at her and Allison in particular. When his eyes met Remy’s, he quickly looked away and said something to the group that triggered some laughter and a playful shove from one of the women. He continued to occasionally glance in their direction and, seeing that he now had Remy’s full attention, he immediately looked away again.
Having no idea what was happening other than that it was somehow significant, Remy was finally willing to resort to turning to Allison again for answers before the opportunity passed. As the groups drew near to each other, Remy rushed for words to pose her question before anyone else was close enough to hear. Just as she was opening her mouth to speak, the same woman who’d shoved the man earlier and appeared to have been relentlessly teasing him since gave him another push, this time with enough force to move him in their direction only moments before they would pass each other. Following an annoyed expression from him and several giggles from the others with him, he appeared to be collecting himself, reminding Remy of the feeling of working up the courage to do something she didn’t necessarily want to do. Finally turning toward them, his eyes again met Remy’s as he took a step in their direction.
Remy was almost relieved as she thought she was finally about to get some answers, but the thought was disrupted by a sudden pressure on her arm. Allison was gripping her so tightly that it was just short of being painful, though Remy vaguely thought that it wasn’t enough of a reason to ask her to let go. The man walking toward them froze, his face contorted with terror while looking down at Allison as if just noticing her for the first time. Remy looked down at Allison, who had leaned her head against Remy’s shoulder. She couldn’t see Allison’s face, but it wasn’t hard to guess what the man was seeing as he stumbled backward, nearly falling over and looking as if he was backing away from a snarling wolf. He scrambled away and back to his group, all of whom had fallen silent and looked nearly as fearful.
Unable to stand the confusion any longer, Remy waited just long enough to be certain that they were out of earshot before turning to Allison, who was still clutching Remy’s arm as if fearful that she may escape. “What the hell was that?”
“Nothing now.”
“Do you know them?”
“Nope. Lucky them.”
“Where are they going?”
“Straight to hell if they don’t keep walking.”
Feeling as if she understood the situation less than she had before she’d bothered asking, Remy slowed enough to turn behind her. As if they’d heard the dire warning, the group was walking with a newfound sense of purpose away from them now that they’d passed each other. Feeling Allison slow to a stop, Remy turned to see her looking up apologetically.
“Sorry, I—I mean…I’m sorry.”
Remy could only stand there staring for a moment, watching Allison looking back at her and studying her. It was similar to how she’d looked at her when they were still on the bench and Allison mentioned how difficult Remy could be to read. Seeing that Allison needed something from her that she wasn’t getting forced Remy’s mind into gear, renewing her determination to make sense of the situation.
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“Alright…first things first. What are you sorry for?”
Allison turned her eyes to the ground, looking ashamed. “I…well, I wouldn’t normally say that I have a temper. When I see someone looking at you like that, though, I just…”
Seeing Allison lost for words filled Remy with sympathy. She hurried to take pressure off of Allison by moving the conversation forward. “Looking at me like what, exactly?”
Allison looked up again, her brow furrowed in a mix of confusion and surprise. “You really don’t see it, do you?”
Remy thought carefully about what she’d seen before responding. “They looked…I don’t know. Drunk, probably. It didn’t really look out of place; it’s tourist season, after all.”
Allison chuckled softly in spite of her worry. “Well, yes, there’s that, but…he wasn’t looking at us. He was looking at you.”
Something about Allison’s tone made Remy reconsider what she’d just said and, at the same time, reminded her of what Allison said about how people look at her when they come into the grocery store. In an instant, a series of confusing elements in the situation clicked into place.
“Oh…oh, you don’t think he was looking at me like that, do you? I mean, why would he? It’s not like I’m—”
“Boop.”
Remy wanted to continue to be frustrated and argue, but seeing Allison’s smile slowly returning as she stood there and pressing a fingertip to her nose brought a sense of relief that pushed aside all else. She sighed and reworded her protest. “Okay, let’s say you’re right. It’s not like he was going to do anything about it.”
“Didn’t you see him coming toward us?”
“Well, yeah, but his friend pushed him.”
“And why do you think that was? What do you think they were laughing about?”
“But…that doesn’t make sense.”
“Why not?”
“We’re obviously together. What would I even want with anyone else when I have you?”
It was Remy’s turn to fail to read Allison’s expression. She stared up at Remy, eyes shimmering as she slowly reached up and brought her hand to rest on Remy’s cheek. She took a step forward, but seemed to change her mind about whatever she was thinking as she came to a sudden stop. Instead, she leaned against Remy as she wrapped her arms around her.
“If you don’t know what you’re doing, then why do you always know exactly what I want to hear?”
Remy thought for a moment, but nothing like a reasonable explanation came to her. “I have to assume it’s luck.”
With a soft sigh, Allison pulled back enough to look into Remy’s eyes. “It feels more like you’re just made for me.”
As she was about to dispute the claim purely as a reflex, a thought occurred to Remy. There was a fear deep within her, this time demanding that she see herself as being presumptuous for doing anything else. Thinking about everything that had just passed between them, though, Remy was filled with a need to be reassuring, and that feeling took priority over shame or even fear.
“That…does seem to be the case, doesn’t it? I mean…things have a funny way of always working out with you. If that’s true, though…well…that means I’m made for you.”
Remy’s voice trembled, but that drove the urgency to put sufficient emphasis on her final word. Judging by the way Allison’s eyes widened and a note of what appeared to be satisfaction, it seemed that the message had been conveyed. A long moment of silence passed as Allison again looked at Remy as she had earlier, resting a hand on her cheek and staring as if looking at something far away. Again, she seemed to be on the verge of something before changing her mind, taking a step back with a note of disappointment. Just as Remy was wondering if she’d chosen her words poorly after all, Allison took her arm again and began gently pulling her along the path.
“I really am sorry, though. It’s stupid to get jealous of random strangers, even if they were checking you out. It’s not like…like I have you under contract or something.”
I can have one drawn up, if you want.
Remy flinched at the shock of hearing her own thought. She couldn’t say where it had come from, but she couldn’t bring herself to disagree with it, either. The more she thought about it, the more she felt the same warmth spreading through her that came any time she thought about Allison. Though she understood feeling apologetic about it, Remy didn’t hold it against her. On the contrary, she had to put conscious effort into not smiling when she considered that Allison would be so adamant about keeping her for herself. In the back of her thoughts, Remy gave a silent apology to Kate as she’d been right after all. They did seem to want the same things. Feeling hesitant to voice her thoughts, she rushed for better words to fill the silence, though she couldn’t allow the sentiment to go to waste entirely.
“We might not have a contract, but you still don’t have any competition.”
The short walk continued in silence, with Allison’s only communication being to occasionally glance up at Remy while looking peaceful and content. As the parking lot came into view, though, she began to fidget and her face became heavy with worry. She led Remy to a small and expensive-looking white sedan and, after reaching a hand into her purse, Remy heard a soft beeping sound as the doors unlocked and the trunk lid began to slowly open.
“Okay…okay. Here we go.”
Remy looked to Allison with a hint of concern, wondering why she suddenly seemed so unsettled. “What’s wrong?”
Allison stood in silence for a long moment, staring at several plastic bins on her rear seat as if they’d just challenged her to a fight. “Nothing…it’s nothing. Why don’t you go and find a table? Pick any one you want; I’ll be there in just a minute.”
Remy glanced inside of Allison’s car. There were bins of various sizes everywhere, the leather bench seat covered with them. Several small boxes and baskets were resting on the floorboards, and the front passenger seat had a large, round plastic container secured in place with the seat belt. None of it included whatever was in her trunk. Allison reached into the back seat and pulled out one of the bins, making an odd rattling sound as she moved it. Remy watched cautiously, wary of the sudden change in mood but unable to bring herself to ignore it.
“What should I grab?”
Again, Allison seemed too distracted to answer immediately. She looked up at Remy after several seconds with a note of surprise as though she’d forgotten that she was there. “Oh, you don’t have to worry about anything. Just pick a seat you like.”
“I can’t let you carry all of this by yourself.”
“Really, you don’t have to worry about it.”
“This’ll take forever to move alone. Let me help.”
“No, it’s fine, I—”
“Allison?”
Unable to endure any more mysteries, Remy reached out without thinking and placed her hands underneath Allison’s, holding them while helping her support the plastic bin that was surprisingly heavy and strangely cold. She looked into Allison’s eyes, fearful of what she saw in them. Normally bright and cheerful, they now looked creased with worry while burning with focus. While Remy might have let it go under any other circumstances, seeing Allison in distress overtook any other concern she had in that moment. When Allison looked back, something in Remy’s expression seemed to bring back her familiar softness. She sighed and let go of the bin, then walked to Remy’s side and wrapped her arms around her waist.
“I’m sorry…again. I’m all over the place tonight, I know. I’m just…nervous.”
“About what?”
“This.” Allison turned her eyes to her open car door and the bins remaining on her seats. “I…don’t get to cook for people often. Ever, really.”
Remy looked at the car seat and then back at Allison, certain that she was missing something important. “You didn’t quit your job, did you?”
Laughing quietly, Allison tightened her grip on Remy’s waist. “No, I mean…well…cooking for something important. Especially something this important. I need everything to be perfect.”
“There’s no need to worry, really. It’s just me, after all—”
“Boop.”
In spite of her concern, Remy couldn’t help chuckling. “No, I mean…well, I’m no food critic or anything, and I’m not a picky eater. I’m not going to judge you, so there’s no need to be stressed out over it. To be completely honest, I want it no matter what just because you made it.”
Remy had vague thoughts about Allison as she stood there, holding her close and sighing with content. She didn’t understand people most of the time and, unfortunately, this was one of the few times when Allison wasn’t necessarily an exception. Still, she couldn’t help feeling hopeful as, once again, it seemed that she’d somehow effortlessly said the right thing. Feeling something soft on her cheek, Remy turned to see Allison’s face pressed to the side of hers.