“—and more powdered sugar.”
Lost in her own thoughts as her eyes swept along the aisles, Allison was only vaguely aware of the conversation that she was just noticing was carrying on without her. “Sorry, what was that?”
Lily sighed with a faint smile as she glanced back at Allison, whose eyes were already turning in every direction other than in front of her. “I was saying that we still need panko, strawberries and powdered sugar.”
“Oh…right. I’m looking.”
While Allison’s eyes were certainly busy searching for something, Lily was in no way convinced that it had anything to do with why she’d claimed that visiting the grocery store couldn’t wait. “We also need to see if the first raspberries have come in yet.”
“Mmm hmm.”
Lily fought back a laugh as she watched Allison establish a pattern of slowing her pace to a crawl, giving a furtive glance down an aisle, looking disappointed and then, after briefly checking ahead of her to ensure that she wasn’t about to walk into anything, rushing to the next aisle. It was confirmation of what had been easy enough to assume.
“We could always just call for her, you know.”
There was a brief pause as Allison checked another aisle and sighed with growing frustration. When she turned her eyes forward to make sure that the path ahead was clear, she found that Lily had at some point stopped and turned to face her. Startled to have suddenly been reminded of where she was and what she was doing, Allison came to a sudden stop, seemingly forgetting all else in the moment outside of having finally noticed what she’d last heard. At the same time, they both reached out to stop the cart that Allison had been absentmindedly pushing in front of her just as it was about to run into a display of stacked paper towels. Scrambling for a plausible explanation, Allison’s thoughts defaulted to denial.
“Wh—what? Call who? Why?” Seeing Lily respond with only mock annoyance and a quick glance at the several inches of space between the cart and the paper towel display, Allison’s dedication to her attempt at a ruse evaporated with a sigh. “Let’s just get what we came for.”
Laughing in spite of herself, Lily stepped to the back of the cart and took it by the handle, apparently not willing to risk an accident again.
“Well, we could…but we passed the panko three aisles back.” Seeing Allison knit her eyebrows in confusion and turn behind her to confirm,
Lily couldn’t help laughing again. “You know, the panko that you were definitely searching for when you were looking up and down the aisles like a wolf stalking a rabbit.”
Allison clung desperately to her fading dignity, grabbing a roll of paper towels from the display as she stormed past it just for something to do with her hands now that the shopping cart had been taken from her. “Never mind that. I’ll find the…”
Lily glanced at Allison from the corner of her eye with a smirk. “Yes, mon chou?”
Allison was again slowing to a stop and nervously peering around the corner of the next aisle, only noticing when the words to move the conversation past the fact that she was doing so escaped her. Against her better judgment, she nervously looked toward Lily, who was looking back at her with her smirk still firmly in place. Allison groaned, aiming it at Lily even though she was far more irritated with herself.
“Why the hell did we come in here, again?”
When first applying for the position of executive chef months earlier, one of the things that Allison had been looking forward to most was being able to delegate the task of restocking the kitchen to someone else. It wasn’t until the formal interview that she’d discovered just how small the café was. The title was largely a formality and, while hers was the last word in how her kitchen was run, being busy enough to justify having a second pair of hands on the clock was relatively rare. It wasn’t a deal breaker by any means; working in a tiny restaurant with an intimate atmosphere had been her dream, and the stress of giving orders to subordinates on a regular basis was nowhere near being worth the minor benefit of not having to do her own shopping. More than that, being given the title even as a formality felt like a miracle for someone who had only recently graduated from culinary school, and it hardly seemed worthwhile to complain about not also having a fully staffed kitchen that she didn’t honestly want. Still, shopping for groceries was far from her favorite way to spend any significant amount of time, even when only shopping for herself. She often actively avoided thinking about how much of her savings had gone toward having a service send someone to do it for her.
Her stance changed quite suddenly on one of her earliest visits, though not in any way that she ever would’ve expected. Eager to prove herself, a flash of inspiration for a signature dish led Allison to take advantage of some unexpected free time before opening and visit the nearest grocery store. Unfamiliar with the store’s inventory and layout, running out of time before the café was scheduled to open and not caring for early mornings in general, the brief moment of irritation led her to wonder aloud about the store’s supply of pomegranates in a far harsher tone than she’d intended. Though the words were more for the sake of venting frustration than anything else and hadn’t been directed toward anyone in particular, the desperation in her voice was enough to draw Remy’s attention.
Looking up at the woman in front of her who seemed to have materialized from thin air, Allison had momentarily forgotten why she was there. She had a weakness for beauty, and what she saw in front of her was momentarily overwhelming. For a long time afterward, she had trouble placing exactly what it was about Remy that drew her in; there were no obvious attempts to attract and, based on Remy’s later denials of any ability to do so that seemed to Allison like knee-jerk reactions, it was genuinely unintentional. Still, Allison couldn’t help being fascinated, and it took her some time to understand why. Her sharp and striking facial features and stern expression were the first things about her that Allison noticed, but that led to taking in her uniform, immaculate in spite of the fact that she looked as if she was keeping quite busy. The kneepads strapped on over her slacks, the apron covering her polo shirt with pockets filled with various equipment and the thick gloves sticking out of her back pocket all gave her the appearance of someone who, despite the care she took in her presentation, was not one to shy away from hard work. Her overall appearance projected strength and reliability, something that Allison would later admit she found every bit as attractive as anything else about her.
A sudden moment of awkwardness shook Allison out of her daze as she realized she had been silently staring for entirely too long. Returning to her senses, she found herself noticing that despite her immaculate appearance and carefully composed expression, Remy couldn’t entirely hide her exhaustion. Again, Allison’s curiosity was piqued. While it was quite early, Remy seemed alert; if anything, she seemed a bit tense and anxious. Wondering what could’ve happened so early in the morning to have her looking so drained, it occurred to her that Remy’s problem technically hadn’t presented itself yet. It slowly dawned on Allison that Remy was clearly bracing herself for an inevitable tirade from an irate customer. Thinking about it later, Allison reluctantly admitted to herself that the string of obscenities that her unintentional call for help had been laced with couldn’t have helped. However accidentally, she had become the exact kind of customer for whom she herself had no patience.
Having embarrassed herself several times in the same minute and with a growing feeling of guilt on top of it all, Allison had an overwhelming urge to excuse herself as politely as she could manage in the moment and never return. She intended to suppress it just long enough to attempt to make amends, but it quickly led to a fascination that caused her to set her discomfort aside in favor of satisfying her curiosity. When Remy accepted the apology while largely dismissing it, Allison took it as courteous professionalism masking justifiable annoyance. When Remy insisted on helping and a simple request turned into nearly half an hour of searching through stock, poring over shipping manifests and delivery schedules and contacting distributors, Allison told herself that Remy must simply be the type to dedicate herself to her work. When asked for a phone number, Allison only managed to remain focused on the conversation by repeating to herself that asking for contact information was merely among the responsibilities that Remy took so seriously. In spite of herself, however, Allison couldn’t entirely explain away the care that went into her simple request. As important as it was to her, it seemed as if it shouldn’t have been worth anyone else’s time, especially that much of it. While it was true that Remy was doing her job and she was serious about her responsibilities, Allison couldn’t help being moved. Remy was indeed doing her duty, but for Allison, it was something special.
The regular visits began with what Allison managed to convince herself was a simple expression of gratitude, the first pomegranate cheesecake produced by her completed recipe. Remy was immediately flustered, looking as though she wasn’t entirely sure how to process the simple gesture. Her seemingly impervious composure shattered in an instant, her mocha complexion turning a deep burgundy as she attempted to politely refuse. While Allison initially worried that she’d somehow embarrassed her by making the presentation so publicly after having her called to the front of the store, the concern was pushed from the front of her thoughts by the sight of Remy out of sorts.
Though she regretted having upset her, Allison couldn’t stop thinking about how cute Remy could be when she let her guard down. Having only seen her stoic and composed before that moment, seeing her momentarily vulnerable made Allison’s heart flutter. It wasn’t just seeing a new side of Remy that made the moment special; it was also seeing something else that suggested that what was passing between them was also born of emotion and not just a sense of duty, even if only in small part.
This was the beginning of regular visits to the store, always in search of increasingly obscure ingredients that would take time and effort to locate. Fortunately, Allison was always able to find ways to make conversation to fill the time spent waiting. She only barely managed to remember to maintain some measure of pretense as she began making trips to the grocery store several times a week, most often in the early mornings. The café had a regular supplier who handled their deliveries, but a trip to the nearest grocery store was somehow always necessary at some point between shipments. She started to worry that she was undoing the hard work she’d put into establishing her reputation, but Lily didn’t seem to have any issues with how her café was being run, saying more than once that an unscheduled purchase or two a week hardly outweighed all of her hard work or the increase in business she’d brought. She was too perceptive to not understand what was happening and too kind to interfere…at least, as far as interrupting the proceedings went.
As Allison continued walking past aisles and pretending she wasn’t glancing nervously down each one, Lily stifled another laugh as she turned the cart and began pushing it in the opposite direction. “This way.”
Allison slowly turned, looking as though she was putting some effort into tearing her eyes away from scanning the nearest aisle. “Where are you going?”
“We, mon chou.” Lily’s tone suddenly shifted, becoming uncharacteristically stern in spite of its gentle lilting. “We’re going to customer service.”
Even in her distracted state, it didn’t take long for Allison to see where this was going. “We don’t need—“
“We still need panko, and I don’t know where it is.” Lily cut across her as she suddenly increased her pace to match her newfound sense of urgency. “Time is running short, and people will be arriving for lunch soon. Mari and Andrea can’t handle everything by themselves.”
“Didn’t you say that it was three aisles back?”
“I don’t remember.” Lily’s shrug was no more believable than her words, but she carried on as if she expected it to be taken at face value. “We don’t have time to search the entire store, so we’ll have to ask someone.”
Allison’s eyes narrowed. “I’m guessing you won’t just ask whoever’s behind the desk.”
“As I said, time is short. It makes the most sense to ask the person who would be most likely to know, does it not?” Lily’s voice wasn’t entirely steady, making it all the more conspicuous that she was suddenly keeping her back to Allison.
This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.
“This is ridiculous. If she’s not out here, then she must be busy. There’s no reason to interrupt her.”
“That doesn’t seem to be stopping you from coming with me.”
Allison glared at Lily even as her heart softened with appreciation. “How does Charlotte put up with you?”
Lily’s attempt at a decisive and authoritative voice finally crumbled as her laughter broke through. “I often wonder, myself. She just says that I’m lucky that I’m cute.”
Allison gave an exasperated sigh as she rushed to catch up. This was the first time that Lily had ever joined her on a shopping trip and, though she knew already that what was happening was for her sake, it was frustrating to have a constant reminder of how ridiculous she must look in the moments before she found Remy and had time to compose herself. As much as a lifetime of habit was pushing her to attempt preserve her dignity, however, she was failing to see the point in continuing to deny the obvious. Nothing was going to keep her from missing an opportunity to speak with Remy, even if she was struggling to create it on her own this time. The best that she could do in the moment to satisfy the conflicting desires was to pretend that her irritation was with anyone other than herself, though she already knew that it wouldn’t last long. It was impossible for her to feel any legitimate frustration with Lily for pushing her toward something it was obvious she wanted. Nothing was as rare or precious as genuine care.
Standing at the customer service desk moments later, Allison’s warm feelings were rapidly evaporating. She had been grateful for the opportunity to be pulled along for a moment rather than push herself forward but, now that the moment had arrived, she couldn’t help finding potential flaws in the plan. She was too busy trying to keep herself calm to be more than just barely aware that Lily was saying something to the person behind the counter but, when she heard the music from the overhead speakers interrupted and Remy’s name called, her brief reprieve from her own thoughts came crashing down on her. Caught unaware, she was suddenly bearing the full weight of the reality of what she was about to do. It didn’t help that she suddenly found herself the center of attention; Lily was smiling at her while looking quite pleased with herself and, though she was refusing to make direct eye contact, the woman behind the counter was looking decidedly excited about something. When two other employees with similar expressions came into view and started clearly pretending to busy themselves with merchandise behind the counter, Allison began to wonder just how poorly she’d been disguising her intentions all of this time. Without thinking, her eyes darted toward the exit.
“I’ll tackle you and hold you here until she comes if I have to.”
Ignoring several stifled giggles from behind the counter, Allison turned her attention to Lily. She considered the matter for only several seconds before deciding that it wasn’t an empty threat. She knew Lily well enough that, despite her tiny frame, she would think nothing of putting her in one of the many submission holds that Charlotte had insisted she learn and turn it into an amusing anecdote to start a conversation when Remy eventually came. She had a curious ability to be disarmingly charming at times. It made her particularly well suited to serving customers, far more than the usual duties of an owner that she was always postponing for as long as possible. No matter how much Lily praised her recipes or efficiency, Allison had no doubt that Lily was the true heart of the café. Despite how much she trusted Lily, however, she didn’t have nearly as much faith in her own ability to hold a conversation with Remy at that point, much less do so after suffering another humiliation.
Speaking with Remy was normally much easier. With a plausible excuse for visiting at her disposal, Allison felt as though she could talk to her for hours—and she would be more than willing to try if she weren’t always minutes away from opening the café or being interrupted by another customer. Remy was quiet and contemplative, and she seemed to think nothing of allowing Allison to speak to her heart’s content. It was initially concerning, making her wonder if Remy was only being polite. It certainly would’ve fallen within Allison’s expectations of the average person, exhibiting just enough manners to wait for someone to breathe before jumping at the chance to begin talking themselves. Instead, Remy followed nearly every pause with a question about what she’d heard. Aside from Lily, Remy was the only person who made Allison feel as if she actually wanted to hear her speak without wanting anything in return. She often feared that she was monopolizing conversations, but Remy always seemed genuinely interested in hearing what Allison had to say. She offered her opinions when relevant, but she always steered the conversation back toward the next thing that Allison had to say. As brief as their interactions were, she found comfort in them. Once she’d come to the realization that Remy wasn’t one for ulterior motives, Allison’s greatest challenge in speaking with Remy was finding excuses to do so…at least, until the night before.
While preparing to switch to their evening menu, Allison had made casual mention of needing to pick up several things from the grocery store before opening the next morning. Lily often playfully asked why, deliberately provoking a hollow denial of Allison’s true motive by pretending to play along while giving knowing glances. Having a somewhat legitimate reason for once, Allison explained that she’d suddenly had an idea for a several new menu items with a picnic theme to attract the incoming flood of tourists. As they were already arriving in increasing numbers, she wanted to experiment to get the recipes finalized as quickly as possible. On hearing this, Lily’s expression shifted startlingly quickly, suddenly looking as if inspiration had hit her, as well. She’d been behaving strangely since, constantly making small and seemingly unnecessary changes to their daily routine for the rest of the day that kept Allison off balance and slightly behind schedule. Every time Allison started to assess damage and work on a strategy for making up the lost time, Lily would appear in the kitchen to help undo whatever damage she’d just done and get things back on track.
Thinking about it later, Allison was amazed that Lily had managed to disrupt her entire night without significantly impacting service. Far less surprising was the fact that by the next morning, Allison was finally getting things back to normal just in time for the slow period of their morning, her first opportunity to take a few minutes away from the kitchen to pick up the ingredients she needed. Equally unsurprising was the fact that Lily also had time to spare to help with the shopping, even though she’d never taken an interest before that point. Feeling herself drawing near the fruition of whatever plans Lily had in mind, Allison’s mind raced to make sense of what was happening. Lily’s constant smirking and laughing to herself was entirely ordinary, again leading Allison to wonder how Charlotte could stand the endless teasing. More unusual, however, was the fact that Lily seemed to be steering her in a specific direction. While Lily often made vague mention of how holding patterns were not indefinitely sustainable, she wasn’t one for forcing anyone’s hand if it could be avoided. Unless responding to a specific question, she rarely went as far as giving specific direction, much less making outright demands. The more Allison thought about it, the more clear it became that there could be only one reason that Lily would suddenly take such an interest that she would insist on being present.
Again, her eyes drifted toward the exit, only tearing them away on hearing Lily clear her throat. Knowing that Remy could appear at any second, Allison finally dispensed with pretense entirely. “It…might be too soon for this.”
Lily’s smile faded, though she still didn’t look particularly concerned by the shift in tone. “Oh? Why not?”
“Well…how do you know it isn’t?”
“I don’t.” Lily let the words hang in the air for a moment, waiting until the obvious question formed in Allison’s mind before continuing. “If there’s no reason not to move forward, though, then why would you wait?”
“But what if—“
“Aren’t there other things you should be asking yourself?” Lily cut across her, refusing to allow whatever excuse was taking shape to fully form. “How long do you intend to wait, exactly? It’s been months. Even if you’re willing to stand idly by, how long will she?”
Once again, Lily somehow knew exactly what to say at the right moment. As much as she wanted to continue arguing, Allison felt a chill run through her as she considered the question for the first time. As intense as her infatuation had grown, it had never occurred to her before that moment that she may not be the only one harboring those kinds of feelings. While pretending that there was nothing more to her visits than pleasant conversation had made it easy to not be fearful, it had also made it easy to forget that there was something at stake. In that moment, her earlier worries paled in comparison to the new one coming into view on the horizon.
Lily allowed the silence to continue for a moment before taking advantage of the opportunity to drive the point home. “You’ve never been one to shy away from a challenge, mon chou. Trust me, this is not where you want to start.” Seeing Allison look up at the sudden change in her tone, Lily underscored it by adding, “Go ahead. Ask me how I know.”
Allison stared silently for a moment, deeply unsettled by a look of sadness that she’d never seen Lily wear before. Her smile returned, but too slowly for comfort. “Wait…do you mean Charlotte?”
Lily nodded silently, her cheer returning in earnest on hearing the name. “It worked out in the end, but it was close. I try not to dwell on just how close.”
Allison thought for a moment, realizing that Lily was right. In all of the times they’d spoken, she’d never once asked Remy if she had anyone special in her thoughts. Fear of the answer always made her think better of it, but she cursed her cowardice now that she didn’t even have any way of knowing if it was already too late. Her heart sank, despair slowly settling in and making itself at home.
As Allison’s face fell, Lily’s expression again became stern. “Whatever you’re thinking, you don’t have time for it.” She waited a moment, holding until she saw the subtle shift in Allison’s expression to indicate that she’d again caught her attention. “What happened to the eager young graduate that stormed into my café and interviewed for the position of running my entire kitchen?”
“What does that have to do with—?”
“Everything. You had ambition, ideas and good intentions…and absolutely nothing else. You weren’t ready to run a kitchen; you were barely qualified to work in one.”
For a moment, Allison could only stare in shock. Since they’d met, Lily had only ever spoken words of encouragement. This was the first time she’d ever voiced anything that sounded anything like disapproval. “Then why—?”
Again, Lily refused to allow Allison’s train of thought to continue. “I didn’t hire you because I thought you already knew how to do the job. I hired you because I thought you were willing to learn. You had what I really wanted: You cared about what you were doing and you were willing to work to fill in the gaps along the way. You knew when you first walked into my office that you had no business being in charge of an entire kitchen, but you knew just enough to be able to do the job. What really mattered was that you were willing to do whatever it took to make it work. That’s what made your love for the work and your ideas and good intentions mean something. You were willing to do something with them. Understand?”
Allison was again at a momentary loss for words. Her entire life, she was always the prodigy with a reputation beyond her years who was never told no. Even when those who once praised her turned against her for her choices, she’d proven them all wrong by making those choices another in her long line of victories. The mere thought that anyone ever saw her for anything other than her successes was entirely alien to her. In fact, much of what drove her to work so hard for Lily was the need to build a reputation for success in a new career and a new town before her ability to attain it could be called into question. She was almost entirely unaccustomed to having her worth being taken entirely on faith; the only other exception that came to mind was going to be approaching at any moment.
After taking a moment to collect her thoughts, Alison finally nodded in agreement. “Listen, I…I mean, thank—“
Lily once again felt the need to turn Allison’s thoughts in a different direction. “Don’t you mind that. Your energy would go to better use elsewhere, I think.”
Allison sighed and gave a weak smile, stuck somewhere between feeling hopeful and resigning herself to her fate. “I guess. I don’t suppose you have any good first date ideas you’ve been sitting on all this time?”
For the first time in a long while, Lily looked as if she was beginning to relax as her playful smirk returned. “The weather certainly is nice, isn’t it? I hear that it should stay that way through the weekend. Perfect for a picnic, I’d say.”
Allison’s thoughts immediately turned to her new menu, the first time she’d thought about it since using it as an excuse for the trip. “What? Wait, no, the recipes aren’t ready—“
“That’s right! We still need that panko. Aisle seven, I think.” Ignoring Allison’s glaring and annoyed huffing, Lily grabbed the cart’s handle and began to turn it. “Oh, I nearly forgot to mention, but there’s been a schedule change. Mari wanted a few extra hours, so she’ll be working tonight.”
Allison raised an eyebrow, immediately suspicious. “Two in the kitchen in the middle of the week?”
“Yes, I need—“ Lily stopped in her tracks, looking alarmed as she stared off into the distance. Before any questions could be asked, she carried on without acknowledging the pause, a smile spreading across her face. Suddenly looking inexplicably anxious, she began bouncing in place as her smile widened. “Never mind…there’s no time. Head back to the café as soon as she says yes. We’re leaving after lunch.”
Not wanting to waste the effort that Lily had just put into getting through to her, Allison repressed the urge to openly temper her expectations. “Leaving? Why?”
“On magasinerons.”
Sensing that she was missing something, Allison turned toward Lily. She often became difficult to understand when she was excited, leading Allison to wonder what suddenly had her attention. Still turned away from her, Lily was continuing to look somewhere in the distance. Allison followed her gaze, and the sudden jolt of surprise quickly made it apparent just how distracted she’d been, herself. On the opposite end of the store, a cheerful woman had Remy by the hand and was all but dragging her in their direction. Just as panic was beginning to set in, Lily began moving in earnest, pausing only long enough to speak just barely above a whisper.
“It’s time, mon chou. Make it mean something.”