Somewhere in the back of her mind, Allison wondered how long she could make a single moment last. Even with everything she was grateful to have, sitting next to Remy in her favorite place in the city and holding her hand while leaning against her, there was one more thing she wanted. More than anything else that she didn't have in that moment, she wanted for it to never end.

She looked up at Remy, sitting up straight and as stiff as a board as she stared off into the distance. She was often infuriatingly difficult to read when she wasn't saying anything—and often even when she was—but it was especially frustrating at the moment as Allison's concerns went well beyond merely satisfying her curiosity. As much as a relief as it was that Remy had agreed to being there in the capacity of a date, that didn't mean that she was having a good time. Worry began to rear its head again as Allison considered the fact that when it came to the invitation to an evening picnic, her success had largely felt like luck. She was a long way from knowing Remy well enough to know with certainty what kinds of things she did or didn't like in a general context, let alone a specifically romantic one. Remy, sitting as still as stone, was giving no indication of her thoughts one way or the other.

The realization that she had no idea at all what to assume caused Allison to remember her earlier conversations with Lily and, feeling hopeful, she again decided to stop assuming the worst. "So...question."

"Yes?"

Feeling Remy jump beneath her, Allison found herself breathing easier in spite of herself as it occurred to her that Remy's stoic nature could very easily be masking the fact that she was nervous, as well. Suddenly, Allison no longer felt that she was necessarily at a disadvantage. "I know this isn't exactly what I promised..."

Remy began to shift in her seat, again giving the impression that she was uneasy about something. "I don't mind a change of plans, if that's what you're about to say."

“Well, that’s part of it, but…well, I was thinking that we’ve been just sitting here for a while, now.”

In a surprising moment, Remy’s expression finally betrayed some emotion, looking somewhat disappointed. “Oh…did you want to get going?”

In spite of her intentions, Allison momentarily abandoned her plans to be more accommodating and tightened her grip on Remy’s arm. “Hell no.”

Again, Allison was surprised when Remy laughed softly and returned the gesture with a gentle and reassuring squeeze of her hand. “As long as we’re being honest, I wasn’t really in a hurry to go anywhere, either. This is nice. I was actually looking for an excuse to stay a little longer.”

Allison breathed a sigh of relief, letting go of a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding. When Remy turned a curious glance in her direction, she couldn’t ignore feeling compelled to explain herself. “I’ve been worrying that I haven’t been showing you a particularly good time. It’s hard to tell what you’re thinking most of the time.”

Remy turned her gaze away while giving a weak smile. “So I’ve been told. Sorry. Communicating isn’t really one of my strengths, and…well, when it comes to dating, I’m out of my element, too.”

It was Allison’s turn to look up with curiosity. “Don’t be sorry. What makes you say that, though? Some of the best conversations I have are with you—” She stopped short when she realized that Remy’s being largely silent wasn’t anything new; she simply hadn’t given herself a chance to notice it before, at least not while they were together. “I guess I do most of the talking.”

Seemingly noticing something in Allison’s expression, Remy spoke up unusually quickly. “That’s why I like talking to you. I don’t always have something to say, and you’re one of the few people who’ll let me just listen. Besides, I…” Suddenly going quiet, Remy’s cheeks took on the burgundy tint that always made Allison’s heart flutter. “…I like listening to you talk.”

On some level, Allison realized that she should be cautious about pressing Remy for information. Still, curiosity burned its way through her resolve. “Oh? What do you like about it?”

For a moment, Remy looked as if she was concentrating. “I like seeing how excited you get about things, like when you come up with ideas for new recipes or when someone gives the café a good review, or even when you’re just in a good mood because it’s a good day. You always have this look on your face like you’re experiencing it for the first time. It’s…cute. I want to know more about how you see things and why they make you so happy. I guess I…I just want to know more about you.”

Allison looked up at Remy, her lips parted as she stared in shock. There was a long moment spent feeling as if she was frozen in time and waiting to feel her heart beat again. Of all of her wishing for this moment and daydreaming about what it may be when it came, it had all been with the expectation that she would have to give Remy a reason to want her. It had never occurred to her to even hope that Remy had ever thought about her enough to have any specific interest already. It wasn’t until the silence went on long enough to draw Remy’s attention and she warily turned her gaze to her side that Allison realized she was still staring wordlessly. She laughed at herself as she leaned against Remy’s shoulder again.

“‘Out of my element,’ she says.”

Remy’s wary gaze suddenly became concerned. “What?”

“I’m having a hard time believing that you don’t know exactly what you’re doing when it comes to dating.”

“Wh—what do you mean?”

“You’re not exactly making it easy to let you go.”

Allison stifled a giggle as Remy began to shift uncomfortably in her seat and press her lips together to keep a smile at bay. Remy was all but impervious to being flustered, which made opening up to her that much more daunting. Though Allison had no desire to upset her, there was comfort to be found in realizing that she wasn’t the only one with feelings that were difficult to contain. More than that, there was an immeasurable level of satisfaction that came with knowing that she had at least some effect on Remy, after all.

Seemingly bringing her emotions under her control once again, Remy finally spoke with a slightly shaky voice. “Well, it’s not like I planned it or anything. I just…got lucky, I guess.”

Still smiling, Allison shook her head. “No, you got honest. For the record, that’s better.”

“Maybe, but it’s still too much to say that I have any idea what I’m doing.”

Allison looked up, once again curious. “That’s…surprising.”

“Why?”

This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

“You’re joking, right?” Met with only a raised eyebrow, Allison went from curious to incredulous. “Look at you! That alone made me not want to ask you out. I thought you’d be sick of getting hit on.”

Remy startled Allison by bursting into laughter. “What? Hit on by who?”

“Who wouldn’t? You’ve got legs for days and enough curves to make a mountain road self-conscious. Do you have any idea how many times I’d be in the middle of a sentence and forget what I was talking about because I—”

Allison stopped dead when Remy turned away, failing to hide the fact that the burgundy tint to her cheeks was rapidly spreading down to her neck. Her gaze was unfocused, and her characteristically rigid posture began to falter as, even sitting down, she looked increasingly unsteady. She looked as if she may faint.

“I…I always thought you were…just getting bored of the conversation.”

Allison leaned into Remy again, her nose stopping dangerously close to the still deepening shade of red along her neck. An intoxicating fragrance suddenly filled the air around Allison, her senses overtaken by the fragrance of lilies, amber and a mild spiciness that she couldn’t place. It made her head spin as she drunkenly glanced up at Remy, who still looked to be struggling to reorient herself again. Allison was only just barely able to focus enough to begin to understand how Remy must be feeling in that moment.

“Sorry. I know that I can be a lot to deal with sometimes, especially since you…well, you’ve said before that you’re not exactly a people person. I just thought that, well…I thought you knew. Like I said…well, look at you. Haven’t you ever noticed people staring?”

Remy didn’t respond immediately. She was inhaling deeply and seemingly holding her breath for a slightly worryingly long time before slowly releasing it. “I…I mean, yeah, but…I’m tall. Too tall. It’s weird—”

Remy was interrupted by Allison, who pressed her fingertip to the tip of Remy’s nose. “Boop.”

Looking momentarily confused and still a bit dazed, Remy seemed to be forcing herself to concentrate on continuing. “I’m lanky, I loom over people when I—”

“Boop.”

“My face scares people. Everybody always thinks I’m mad or somethi—”

“Booooop.”

Remy gave a frustrated sigh, looking simultaneously confused and slightly amused. “Okay, what’s going on here?”

Allison struggled to keep a straight face as she leaned back enough to look Remy in the eye. “Oh, I’m just hitting the button to skip through your dialogue tree. I don’t like this part.”

After a brief moment of more confusion, Remy burst into laughter in spite of herself. “Okay, okay, I get it. It’s true, though—”

“Boop. Maybe that’s how you see yourself, but trust me, it’s just you. I don’t think I’ve ever come in to see you and not seen somebody drooling over you…and that’s just your looks.”

Allison wanted desperately to continue, but seeing Remy finally regain her composure made her stop short. As much as she wanted to keep singing Remy’s praises, she couldn’t help thinking that she’d put her through enough for the moment. Thinking quickly, she tactfully altered the course of the conversation.

“Well, now that we’ve established that you are, in fact, hot—don’t waste your breath, I’m ready to die on this hill—I guess we should get on with this date. Not that I want to let go, but I have been keeping you here for a while, now.”

Remy seemed to be thinking hard about something for a moment before responding. “Well…before we go, could we…?”

As her voice trailed off, Allison looked up at Remy to see her staring off into the distance. Following her gaze, Allison found herself looking down Camino Boulevard, the avenue that ran through the park forming the exact center of the city. Running in a straight line downhill, the streetlights that had recently come on for the evening illuminated a long row of trees and planters filled with blooming violets that ran to the coastal road and stopped just short of touching the sandy shoreline. Allison looked past the beach and realized for the first time that the space cleared by the boulevard and the downhill view from above gave their bench an entirely unobstructed view of the sun as it slowly sank into the ocean. For the second time, she found herself waiting endlessly for her heart to beat again.

“You’re doing this on purpose, aren’t you?”

Remy looked down at Allison, looking slightly unsettled. “Doing what?”

Leaning into Remy’s side again, Allison dispensed entirely with caution as she felt the tip of her nose brush against her neck. Smiling at the shudder she felt run through Remy, she inhaled deeply and let the scent of lilies and amber overwhelm her again. “Out of your element, indeed.”

Remy sputtered, clearly at a complete loss. “I swear, I have no idea what you mean. I…I just—”

Laughing softly, Allison gave Remy’s arm a soft squeeze as she watched the sun’s glow illuminate the gently rolling waves. “I know, I know…I’m just messing with you. You’re better at this than you think, though. I thought I was the one that was supposed to be showing you a good time.”

There was a soft sigh as Remy continued to struggle for words. “You think you aren’t?”

“Like I said, you’re hard to read sometimes.”

Allison thought about that for a moment and realized that, in the last several minutes, she’d seen more emotion from Remy than she had in all of the time that had passed since they’d met. It was everything that she’d hoped, finally seeing a side of Remy that she’d never known before. It felt as if she was seeing something that was only meant for her, and the thought filled her with a desire that wasn’t entirely familiar to her. It was like walking a mountain trail and finding flecks of gold in a stream; she’d found something beautiful and precious, a secret treasure that was hers alone. She was filled with a sudden sense of inexplicable jealousy, desperate to protect her treasure from threats unknown. Suddenly, it occurred to her that the feeling wasn’t all that unfamiliar, after all.

“I always did hate them.”

Remy looked as if she’d suddenly been shaken out of her thoughts. “Who?”

“Your customers.” Still floating in the haze of Remy’s scent and presence, it took Allison a moment for her thoughts to clear enough to realize that she’d said more than she’d intended. “When I would come into the store to see you, I really did always see someone drooling over you. Every time, I’d see at least one person sitting there and staring at you. Sometimes, it was more than one and I’d hear them talking.”

Remy again looked uneasy. “Talking about what?”

“What they’d say to you. Trying to figure you out, guessing at what pickup lines would work on you, wondering what you’re like in bed—” Allison cut herself off, but not in time to avoid saying one word too many. Seeing Remy again beginning to fluster, she hurried to push past the moment. “It always pissed me off.”

Still processing what she’d heard, Remy seemed to be wrestling with exactly what she wanted to ask. “Why?”

Because you’re mine.

Fear of upsetting Remy again caused Allison to force her thoughts to a screeching halt before her voice could catch up to them. There was a brief but noticeable pause while she searched for a suitable replacement for what she’d just narrowly avoided saying. “Because I saw you first.”

There was another long pause as Remy watched the last rays of sunlight disappear into the ocean. “It’s…not like I’m some prize you have to fight over—”

“Boop.”

Remy laughed quietly. “No, I…I mean…well, even if I’d known…it’s not like you would’ve had any competition.”

As the sun finally faded from view, Allison looked up to see the first star to come into view in the night sky and signal that the time to depart had come. The moment that she’d been dreading suddenly seemed far less daunting, the fear slowly being replaced with a newfound sense of confidence. Releasing Remy’s arm long enough for her to stand was no longer something to be avoided as it finally occurred to Allison that, ultimately, it didn’t really matter. Determination would make up the difference.

I’m never letting you go.